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brian_eggleston's Debates
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Relaxing the anti-slavery laws would be both morally-sound and economically beneficial
Slavery has received a lot of negative press over the years and the adverse public opinion that it generated has led to the trading and keeping of slaves being banned in most developed countries. However, it's now time we asked ourselves if slavery really is such an immoral practice and, furthermore, consider what possible economic benefits the relaxation of anti-slavery laws could bring. MORALITY. In the 17th Century the British led the way in giving the natives of West Africa the opp...
Resolved: Vagina Day should be a national holiday
Re-doing this debate because the last one got accepted by an idiot who doesnt know what a f*ckin troll debate is THIS IS INDEED A TROLL DEBATE. That means if you take it seriously then youre a dumba**. The point of troll debates is to use semantical and humorous arguments to make a case just for sh*ts and giggles. I am arguing that 'Vagina Day' (A day that would celebrate women, honor all the accomplishments of famous women, and honor all women in society today of hanging in there despite...
Margaret Thatcher should not be granted a state funeral
Margaret "the milk snatcher" Thatcher, the wretched former Prime Minister of Great Britain, whose crusades against the working class devastated the nation's heavy industries and threw millions of decent, hard-working people onto the scrapheap of society, is now an elderly woman and is officially certified as insane (whereas when she was in power she was merely suspected of being so). Given her advanced years it can't be long now before she joins Colonel Gadafi, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il and...
The problem of paedophile priests probably prompted the Pope to vacate the Vatican
Former member of the Hitler Youth [1] and apologist for paedophile homosexual priests: Pope Benedict XVI; today stepped down as leader of the Catholic Church amid a storm of controversy relating to the sexual misconduct of his clergy. Of course, the Pope couldn't come out and blatantly admit he was hounded out of office by his failure to adequately address the institutionalised paedophilia in the Catholic Church, instead he blamed his advancing years and merely hinted at the problem of priest...
It"s time to crackdown on cash-point cretins
We've all been there on Saturday night, standing patiently in line to withdraw some beer vouchers from the hole in the wall while some mental defective stares blankly at the screen, occasionally pressing buttons, seemingly at random. Jesus Christ on a fvcking bike, what is wrong with these morons? I mean, what's so difficult about withdrawing cash from an ATM? I say it's about time the banks got tough with these cash machine menaces. This is my idea: when users take too long between press...
Western governments should not block the sale of genetically-reconstructed Neanderthal slaves
These are exciting times here at Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises: the good people who brought you The SkyShrine fast-track prayer device; The Pak-a-Spak Rucksack commuter accessory and EuroPimps ethical soliciting services for punters with a social conscience. (1) That's because our scientists are busy building on recent research done at Harvard University (2) to create artificial Neanderthal DNA based on the genetic code found in bone samples taken from the preserved remains of a long dead m...
It's time to bring back the sedan chair
Did you know that the average American walks a little under 400 yards a day? (1) This is truly a shocking statistic, I'm sure you will agree. I mean, The US is supposed to be the country where convenience is king: the country that provides its citizens with wonderful facilities such as drive-thru restaurants, drive-in churches, drive-thru banks and drive-in theatres so that people can save the effort of getting out of their cars and using their legs. Yet, here we are in the 21st Century an...
The USFG should help save the planet by flooding Death Valley with sea water
Death Valley is a huge graben, which is the geological term for a sunken fragment of the Earth's crust. It covers 200-square-miles and is surrounded by mountains. Death Valley is virtually parched of water because it receives less than 2 inches of rain per year, all of which evaporates very quickly in temperatures that can reach as high as 134*F. Death Valley also has the lowest elevation on the American continent at 282ft below sea level. So how much water do you think it would take to fill...
It would be mutually beneficial for farmers in the West to recruit agricultural interns from Africa
Farmers in Europe and America are always complaining that they are not rich enough: they say this is partly because the relatively high cost of farm labour in the West makes their produce uncompetitive in the global marketplace. Meanwhile in Africa farmers struggle to produce enough food even to meet local demand, mainly because the natives are not familiar with the modern farming techniques that are employed in the West to increase productivity and improve yields. With this being the ca...
The wealthiest ten per cent of citizens should be exempted from paying tax
My family tree has just been completed and I have discovered that I am, in reality, an extremely posh personage with an aristocratic heritage - I am related to the Norwegian royal family no less, and I have duly written to the King of Norway asking him to send me a cheque for my share of the family fortune at his earliest convenience. However, when I bank this cheque I will have to pay capital gains tax on the amount, and possibly inheritance tax too, and the prospect of this is making my blu...