A gigantic, transparent bubble should be placed over the entirety of Canada
Debate Rounds (5)
A) Cover the entirety of Canada, excluding maritime claims.
B) Allow certain things or people to enter and exit
C) Prohibit certain things or people from leaving or entering.
1. In this debate, I am not counting the issues of 'limbo', or 'no salvation outside the catholic church'.
2. This debate presumes the technology to create such a bubble exists, and that such a bubble could be created; all other measures (such as the cost of such a bubble, whether such a bubble would be effective, whether such a bubble is moral, etc.) are on the table.
3. This is a troll debate.
4. Round 1 is for acceptance, Round 2 is for opening statements (no rebuttals), Rounds 3 and 4 are for rebuttals, and Round 5 is for closing statements.
5. If either side forfeits a round, all votes should go to the side that did not forfeit.
As we all know, Canada is that country north of the border. While most Americans have a mostly harmless, cartoonish image of Canada, filled with mounties and beer, the true image of Canada is much scarier and the facts clearly demonstrate that the world must protect itself from Canada.
To start with, although Canada is slightly bigger than the US in size, it contains only 35.5 million people as compared to the 315 million people in the US. Despite having essentially a tenth of the population of the United States, Canada has shown a propensity for unleashing terrible things into the world. For example, let's look at musicians; Canada has unleashed far more terrible singers per capita than any other country on Earth. Terrible singers like Avril Lavigne, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Alanis Morrisette, Nelly Furtado, and Daniel Powter have come from Canada, in addition to a number off terrible bands like Nickelback, two of the most terrible singers in recent memory: Carly Rae Jepsen and Justin Bieber. For those two acts alone, Canada should be punished by the international community. Millions of people lose hearing every year because of these two singers, and yet Canada goes along and invites them BOTH to arguably the most important Canadian sporting event in history - the 100th Grey Cup. While these singers go out and ruin the world, Canada sits there and does nothing. In fact, when two of Canada's worst singers (Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger) decided to marry, they refused to immediately neuter them. Because Lavigne and Kroeger are almost certainly having sex, this will inevitably result in the birth of a baby that will almost certainly be the Antichrist (assuming Jay Z and Beyonce's baby isn't). That is unacceptable by any standard.
Second, Canadians are attempting to spread their fake bacon throughout the world. Everyone knows that Canadian bacon is just ordinary ham, but yet Canada insists on calling it bacon and marketing it as such. Why a country would want to trick people into buying fake bacon, and depriving themselves of real bacon, is beyond me, but it is clear - all those opposed to bacon are a threat to society.
Finally, we have the issue of Canadian football. While by all accounts Canadian football is more acceptable than, say, rugby, it is still a bizarre sport. Instead of using four downs, like civilized people do, Canada insists on using only three downs. Three! We abolished that rule over 100 years ago, but yet Canada insists on living in the stone age. Similarly, Canadian football's field is absurdly wide and absurdly long, its end zones are absurdly big, and they have 12 players on each team. These blasphemies against real football cannot be ignored.
The solution to all of these issues is the Canadian bubble, which will separate the entirety of Canada from the rest of the world. The bubble will identify which things are acceptable to pass (such as maple syrup, rain/snow, Rush, and those who wish to join America) through, and will prevent things that are unacceptable (such as Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, fake bacon, and Canadian football) from passing through it. This solves all issues - the world will be spared from the terrible part of Canada, but Canada can still be itself inside its owns borders and can remain a productive member of the international community. The Canadian bubble will prove to be the most effective, fair, and merciful solution to the Canadian problem.
How I agree with you that Canada is a HORID country, your idea is So Horrible I have proposed some better ideas.
Like Hitler once said "We need living space for our people!" As you said Canada, no canada (I'm not capitalizing that bitch of a country anymore) only has around 35 million people. Why not conquer them and gain more land for our needs? And once we invade, and win, we could mine for oil without them bitching about the environment (We all know most of the hippies come from canada).
And with all their undeveloped land we could cut cut down all the trees and get lots of wood at once!
And as you said the citizens are horrible, that's why when we go to war we start a mass Genocide of their citizens! No Prisoners! AND if we kill all the citizens then the anti Christ wont rise from it!
2. Keep a Giant army of Robots surrounding canada instead.
This is a LOT better than your bubble. Bubbly is also an adjective linguistically, there must have been a reason for this, the adjective means, To have a happy or giddy personality, Also easygoing. And just look at how Vulnerable a bubble is! ( ) But look at how strong this robot is! ( ) Just look at SHEER POWER! if we had a GIGANTIC army of Robots surrounding canada NOTHING could ever get past! Not even Crazy meth filled liberal hippies could pass those!
3. A Giant Soundproof Black BOX would be better than a Transparent Bubble
(this is all based that the bubble doesn't pop) Since the bubble is transparent that means the anti-Christ could still put up Propaganda and people in Alaska could see it and be like " Oh, that's very persuasive!" And everyone would be on the anti-Christ' side, and we can't let that happen! So Black would be better, since it would make it opaque. Now the bubble is horrible, it could just roll away and we wouldn't be able to get it back! But a Box stays in one place Unless we wanted to move it! Therefore a Giant Soundproof Black Box would be a better use than a Giant Transparent Bubble. I mean, we don't want to SEE the canadians do we, Or even Hear them?! Look at how ugly they are and how annoying they can be! ( )
Me and pro both agree that canada is a problem that needs to be solved, However, my solutions are much more Efficient and Reliable than his.
I appreciate my opponent's initiative in making up his own ideas. All ideas are welcome to solve this issue; however, the Canadian bubble is by far the best solution. I will respond to my opponent in turn:
Unfortunately, and invasion of Canada is not a good or even prudent idea. Canada is very big, and not in a good way. Most of it is barren, snowy wasteland, which is absolutely worthless even to the Canadians because 90% of them live within driving distance of the US border. What good is living space if the living space is crap? That's why Hitler didn't invade Iceland - nobody really wants to live in Iceland, because of all the ice!
The bubble is superior to invasion for several reasons - for one, it traps the Canadians into the hell they have created. That is a fate worse than death - being forced to live with the anti-Christ and all of their bad singers.
My opponent appears to misunderstand what 'bubble' means; I apologize for not clarifying this earlier, but the 'bubble' is not a literal bubble. Think of it as like the bubbles that surround the Gungan underwater city, if those bubbles were reverse engineered to keep certain things (like Jar Jar Binks) in or out. Such a bubble would clearly be strong, because many monsters live underwater. Giant robots are nice, but you would have to build a whole lot of them to cover the entire border (all 5,255 miles of it). Assuming we have one robot for every ten miles, that would require 525 giant robots, which doesn't even cover martime areas. Additionally, giant robots have a propensity to turn on humanity, meaning they could join Canada. No bubble has ever been recorded as having turned on humanity.
Giant black box
North Korea spouts propoganda across the DMZ all the time, but I haven't seen any stories of South Koreans becoming convinced and defecting to North Korea.
1. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
Well to the untrained eye it looks like a barren wasteland, But to a capitalist and a champion of the free market it becomes obvious that canada is a breeding ground for oil and lumber profit. Like you said it's a gigantic land it's a gigantic land with no one to defend it! Even if it IS a wasteland just look at Las Vegas! it's in the middle of a desert, and we made it a breeding ground of Gambling, Prostitutes, Free Marriage, And Crappy pawn shows! We could make canada the new Las Vegas! And when it has so much more land (like you said) we could cultivate it SO much!
(Well I'm sorry that you didn't post the definition of it in the first round as is normal conduct in debate.org. And as a troll debate id like to ask why you wouldn't you? Just a thought although)
Well considering you think an energy bubble could keep canada away, how could robots not be a thing? If you somehow make a GIANT forcefield keeping canada in, then how could we not make a Sh*tload of robots to protect it? And for them to side with the canadians? All I have to say is... Really? As I posted before with my video, they are highly annoying and illogical. Robots are primed to be logical and would see canada as a threat, and contain it.
Giant Soundproof Black Box
Well you don't see the anti Christ in North Korea, do you?
Sure, America can and has made wastelands into paradises. But how does that provide living space if nobody wants to live in it? Those Canadians are crazy, and even they don't want to live there - the only people who do are Inuit, really.
Aside from that, much of Canada is not arable - the Canadian Shield, basically a very large bit of igneous (volcanic) rock that prevents you from growing plants.
(I assumed it would be fairly obvious, given I note the bubble can allow people to come in or out. My apologies for not making it clearer)
I'm not saying robots couldn't help... But robots have also been shown to have a mind of their own. If they are 'primed to be logical', might they not determine we are the threat, since we have nukes and Canada doesn't? There are many examples of such robots, but the biggest is Skynet - an evil robot that caused a nuclear apocolypse when humans tried to shut it down. Whose to say our giant robots might not do the same when they have to be deactivated and replaced?
True, but the point still stands. Aside from this, there are two solutions to the antichrist:
A) Kill it before it can grow up. A team of skilled ninjas could easily accomplish this.
B) Program the bubble to keep the antichrist in Canada.
As you can see, the bubble solves the problem immediately!
1. The Terminator
We have fought for more horrible, barren countries than canada. Look at Afghanistan, or Iraq! and they're farther away than canada, and we are fighting them for oil. canada has Oil and Marketability! even if the land is horrible, we can make some of it a "national park" and the Stoner hippies will all buy to go to it, making us, Merica, more money.
And think on this, why was it horrible in the first place? its all because of the canadians Americans would never let that happen, so when we get there we can make all of it beautiful! We made New York beautiful, why not canada.
Oh please, Skynet is run by a giant set of Super Computers the robots are controlled by them. So as long as we don't build a Super Computer, with links towards the robots we'll be fine.
And I have to say, Would you think the stupidity of the canadians would be a Lesser threat than just a pile of silly old nukes?
Also we could make the robots just like this, and they would NEVER hurt us!( https://www.youtube.com... )
Giant SOUNDPROOF BLACK Box
1) Pro fails to realize that the Antichrist would posses a ninja and it would be even MORE dangerous. Plus ninjas are Asian and aren't Christian, so I would be a hard time to have them kill a Baby!
2) If the bubble is Not soundproof and transparent then the Antichrist would EASILY propagandize Alaska and the northern part of Merica. Just look at (what people say) The anti-Christ we had earlier. Hitler was a GREAT Speaker, and since it is theorized he was the anti-Christ, who's to say he wont be as good, or Better than Hitler ( https://www.youtube.com... )
Final responses to my opponent:
Those two places are deserts. We built Las Vegas in a desert. To contrast, we have not built anything that good in snowy wastelands like Canada - heck, we have a whole state (Alaska) with a similar environment to Canada, and virtually nobody lives there! If 'Murcia can't build it there, why could we build it in Canada.
Skynet's AI and the AI of a robot are fundamentally similar. If we need to deactivate a robot - for whatever reason - who are we to say it won't fight back, like Skynet did? The odds that one out of 500+ robots would go rogue and wipe out, say, Vermont, is very high.
Giant Soundproof Black Box
1) Ninjas will be fine working for money, especially to eliminate the Antichrist - just tell them it is an 'evil spirit' who is disrupting the Chi of the world or some crap like that and they'll be fine.
2) You use Hitler as an example, but Hitler never convinced any country outside of Germany to join him other than at the barrel of a gun. Worst case scenario is that the ninjas fail; the Antichrist is he takes over all of Canada (except Quebec, because he doesn't speak French), and sets up base in Toronto. Because we can control what goes in and out of the bubble, we can keep the Mounties from attacking us, launch a nuclear missile straight at Toronto, and prevent the fallout from leaving Canada. Antichrist dies, and the rest of the world goes on as normal.
Now, to sum up:
My opponent has argued there are several other methods that could be better than a bubble. While I believe these options have been utterly refuted, none of them preclude the possibility of the Canadian bubble. I have demonstrated the Canadian bubble is the most effective solution to that pesky Canadian problem. It lets the best country - us - decide who enters and who leaves Canada, while letting them ruin their own country and without violating their rights. The other proposals - such as robots, invasion, and box - are not as good as the Canadian bubble. In fact, they do not even prevent such a bubble from being useful. The Canadian problem warrants a serious answer, and the bubble is the solution we all need.
What are you talking about?In America we LOVE snow! In the sunshine state we have a Giant snow machine! We would LOVE canada for all the snow + we turned the entire New England into a Economic Center and industrial hub!
Clearly canada would and could be a great investment. Much better than shutting it off with a bubble -_-
As I said, these robots are primed to think logically and would keep canadians in their place. Who's to say the bubble wouldn't turn on us? These robots are highly deadly and Any attempt at propaganda or escape from the Anti-Christ he would be dead.
Giant Soundproof Black Box
1) Honorability. Even ninjas have a code of honor (example: Naruto) and will stick to it. killing an unarmed BABY would be very unhonorable.
2) You destroy harvestible land that will never be replenished. We could use that for Lumber and Farming. You obviously don't know how to conserve things or take advantage of opportunities either. The Anti-Christ loves the colour black and therefore want to stay in there forever. not wanting to leave. (And as you said the Anti-Christ would take over and control things I.E. maple syrup production. He would not allow it to pass)
I have posted 3 better solutions than placing a Transparent bubble on canada. invading canada, surrounding it with robots, or placing a giant black box would be better than A bubble. Thank you TNO5 for debating with me. And thank you Viewers, for voting and viewing. May the best argument win.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Fictional_Truths1 3 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: Con gave better, funnier arguments. Also had funnier sources. Pro broke the no rebuttal in last round rule.
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