The Instigator
brian_eggleston
Pro (for)
Losing
25 Points
The Contender
I-am-a-panda
Con (against)
Winning
28 Points

Abortion clinics should be allowed to advertise on TV

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/12/2009 Category: Health
Updated: 8 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 1,758 times Debate No: 7581
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (7)
Votes (8)

 

brian_eggleston

Pro

Great news for socially responsible, ethically aware, community based corporations such as one of my latest enterprises: Prontobort™ Terminations.

Abortion clinics may soon be allowed to advertise on TV (1).

The only caveat is that abortion commercials cannot be shown during programmes aimed at youngsters under the age of 10, but since we get very little business from pre-pubescent children, that's no big deal.

Anyway, here is a sneak preview of our first ad:

INT. DAY. MLS.

Bright, modern call centre, many computer terminals occupied by smart, efficient, friendly-looking female operators wearing telephone headsets. We see an unshaven doctor wearing a blood-splattered white coat walk across the back of the set, hands in pockets, smoking a cigarette.

CUT TO C.U.

Attractive female operator, Julie. She smiles pleasantly displaying her perfect white teeth. She speaks with an American accent.

JULIE – Prontobort™ Terminations: you rape ‘em, we scrape ‘em; how can I help you?

VOICEOVER OF MALE CALLER (speaking gruffly with a working class British accent) - I've got my bird up the duff but I managed to persuade her to get rid of it. Can you do the business before she changes her mind?

JULIE – Sure we can, sir, we can have your girlfriend seen to in a jiffy. You see, unlike some other abortion clinics, we don't employ unnecessary councillors or fussy nurses, and that saves you both time and money. Plus, as a new customer you can take advantage of our latest special offer – have two abortions at Prontobort™ within a six month period and we'll give you the third one free!

VOICEOVER OF MALE CALLER – Crikey, that sounds great; I'll send her down right away.

JULIE – We look forward to seeing her, have a nice day!

CUT TO EXT DAY. MLS.

Prontobort clinic, a pristine white building set in manicured grounds. In the middle distance we see what appears to be a foetus being thrown out of an open window on the side of the clinic, it is collected and promptly devoured by a stray dog.

PAN RIGHT. Z.I. TALKING HEAD.

Celebrity presenter, Sarah Palin, a senior bishop or similar.

PRESENTER - If you have a parasitic embryo squatting in your womb, or you have a loved one that has an unwanted pregnancy, don't despair - help is hand! Terminating a pregnancy need not be as costly and time-consuming as many abortion clinics would have you believe. So, if you are looking a quick abortion on the cheap, call Prontobort™ today!

UPBEAT MUSIC. FADE TO TITLES.

By allowing adverts for abortion services to be shown on TV, I believe the Government will be making the right decision as these commercials inform na�ve teens who find themselves, or their girlfriends "in the family way" and will also have the benefit of attracting more customers through the doors of Prontobort™ Terminations. That will mean more profit for us and hence, more taxes paid to the National Health Service which will enable them to provide more free abortions for those who cannot afford to go private.

Thank you.

(1) http://www.dailymail.co.uk...

Prontobort™ is a trademark of Eggleston's Ethical Industries Inc.
I-am-a-panda

Con

I would like to thank Mr. Eggleston for this intriguing debate. I will return his comments in a somewhat comic manner as well.

The problem I have with abortion ads is they take up the valuable time of cigarette and alcohol advertisements. In truth, alcohol and cigarettes do the exact same job as an abortion [1], [2]. However, why should alcohol and cigarette companies be allowed the ad-space as opposed to abortion clinics having it?

Well, smoking and alcohol is certainly a far more pleasurable way of goign about the procedure. Putting it simply, is it better to sit in a chair, legs spread wide and have a person fiddle in thee with all sorts of metallic objects? Or, is it better to down a 6-pack of Carlsberg every night for a couple of months, and smoke a cigarette packet once a day? The choice is obvious.

Furthermore, there are 160,000 abortions in England every year [3]. An abortion costs a couple hundred a pop, however, the majority of abortions will be going to women who cannot afford it and who are from underprivileged areas. At the current taxation rate for tobacco, it makes some 8-10 billion pounds annually [4]. The average price of a cigarette pack is �5.78. with �4.38 of that being tax [5]. Now, multiply 160,000 x �4 x 150 days (6 months), you have �96 million extra, just from cigarettes, annually. This isn't taking into account the additional tax to be mae of alcohol, which I, as of current, cannot give.

However, I feel I have made an adequate argument. Below are my sources.

[1] = http://units.nhs.uk...
[2] = http://smokefree.nhs.uk... (Contains an easy to follow chart for the younger crowds!)
[3] = http://www.womenshealthlondon.org.uk...
[4] = http://www.the-tma.org.uk...
[5] = http://www.the-tma.org.uk...
Debate Round No. 1
brian_eggleston

Pro

I should like to take this opportunity to extend my thanks to I.A.M.A. Panda, Esq. for accepting this debate and for his most novel rebuttal.

First of all, I cannot disagree with my opponent's argument that women's regular consumption of excessive amounts of alcohol reduces their ability to conceive a child, however, in reality, women tend to binge drink which causes them to lose their sexual inhibitions and, therefore, adverts for booze leads to a subsequent increase in demand for the excellent services provided by Prontobort™ Terminations.

Moreover, nobody wants to see the demise of high quality adverts such as those embedded on the right.

So, what's the answer? Simple - allow abortion clinic adverts but ban mind-numbingly tedious and blatantly sexist adverts from supermarkets that target their commercials at "housewives" and "busy mums" - as if single men don't ever go and buy food or cleaning products.

That way, everyone's a winner!

Thank you.
I-am-a-panda

Con

I would like to thank Mr. Eggleston for this novel debate. However, extreme restrictions on my computer usage may not produce a passable response, sadly.

Firstly, my opponent agrees alcohol and cigarettes are a better way to go about losing a parasitical foetus. However, he claims women lose sexual desires whilst drunk. However, this is quite untrue. Like any husband who's wife goes for a night on the binge knows, the longer it takes her to get the key in the door, the wilder the sex. Simply put, women lose self respect, and subsequently, go for nearly any sexual fantasy, besides the one of a mantis, which would require her to bite the head off her husband after sex.

Agreed, alcohol ads are simply fantastic. Alcohol is constantly known a scourge to society, however, when the break for the tense champions league match between Porto and Manchester United comes, and you're on the edge as your team is only a single goal ahead, and see an ad like this, well, it changes your world around.

However, I disagree with putting supermarket ads off the air. Simply put, Kerry Katona will probably birth 2% of the population within the next 10 years, and the cost of putting her on welfare would be immense. If she loses her Iceland job, then the government will be strapped for cash feeding her family. Nobody wins that way.

Cheers!
Debate Round No. 2
7 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Posted by Charlie_Danger 7 years ago
Charlie_Danger
I'm gonna make my speech on "insensitivity" short.

In this world, sh*t happens. Terrible things like rape, murder, tourture, broken families, hurt, ect, yadda yadda yadda. If you look at the world in this wholistic perspective, you would cry yourself to death. I'm sorry if you have had the worst f*cking life ever, mine hasn't been perfect either, and I would expect the same from other people.

If you can't joke about the serious things, if you can't find a way to smile in the face of sorrow, you will die in pain. You won't last; your life will be spent wasted over the sadness of the horrible things done, and hilarious jokes made.

Bottom Line: Get a f*cking sense of humor, or waste your goddamn life being over-serious and not enjoying yourself.
Posted by trendem 8 years ago
trendem
I absolutely agree with MasterDebaterMK! How dare humor breach our social taboos! Only philistines engage in such Modest Proposals.
Convincing argument: Pro. Although I liked Con's take on the issue, he misinterpreted Pro's argument in R2 ("losing sexual inhibitions", not "losing sexual desires").
Posted by I-am-a-panda 8 years ago
I-am-a-panda
Any eggleston debate = A fun ride. When you see brian Eggleston, don't read if you don't want to, miss 4th post.
Posted by MasterDebaterMK 8 years ago
MasterDebaterMK
I'm sick of the insensitivity on this. Such as Nail_Bat.
Posted by I-am-a-panda 8 years ago
I-am-a-panda
In light of trying to find a funny response to this, abortion clinics would take up valuable time of beer and cigarette companies that would make more profit in taxes, and do the exact same job.
Posted by rangersfootballclub 8 years ago
rangersfootballclub
why advertise abortion on t.v ?
if i was a lassie and i got pregnant and did not want the child , i would not have an abortion unless my life was in danger , i would simiply have the child and dump it in a plastic bag in a park and run away .
Posted by Nail_Bat 8 years ago
Nail_Bat
HEY!!!

Do you want your pregnancy to be SO TERMINATED!?!?!

Try POWER-CIDE! The embryo removal that gives you GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF BABY KILLING!

Available in flavors like WIRE HANGER! It's like adding a wardrobe closet to A SAMURAI SWORD! Sound the alarm, you're going to be UNCOMFORTABLY NON PREGNANT!

What's that? You want pro-life? Well how about PRO-KNIFE!!!! Made with murder! REAL MURDER!!! Sex! (AAAAAAAAAAAHH!) You can have it again! It's murder for the maternal! MURDERNAL!!! These aren't your mom's puns. These are killer puns! MURDER PUNS!!!!
8 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Vote Placed by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
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