The Instigator
Winter_Soldier
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Coveny
Con (against)
Winning
6 Points

Abstinence Only Education is the best form of Sex Education

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
Coveny
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/26/2017 Category: Education
Updated: 8 months ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 744 times Debate No: 102230
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (2)
Votes (2)

 

Winter_Soldier

Pro

Round One: Opening Statements
Round Two: Discussion
Round Three: Conclusions
My opening argument: Abstinence only education is the best form of sex education for a number of reasons. It helps teach self control, and abstinence is the most successful type of birthday control. Thanks in advance for accepting this argument.
Coveny

Con

Abstinence education shown no impact on teen sexual activity per the center for disease control.

https://aspe.hhs.gov...

States with abstinence only education continue to have higher teen pregnancies rates than those that teach a more comprehensive, open and honest science based approach toward sex.

https://thinkprogress.org...

Abstinence not only doesn't work, it also instills a negative view of sex which can last through a person's whole life. There is nothing wrong with having sex, you are not "saving yourself" like virginity is some sort of prize for your future spouse, and on top of that, historically speaking the age we start having sex on average has done nothing but increase since we ended the laws that allowed children to be wed at 12 or 13.(On average people lose their virginity around 17 years of age) The damage done to children's attitude toward sex in an attempt to prevent them from having sex for a few extra years needs to be stopped... now.

What we need is open, honest, and frank discussions about sex like the french have in their sex education in schools. Not only do they talk about contraception, and STDs, they talk about pleasing your lover, and what you should expect when you have sex. Their teen pregnancy rates are less than half of ours. It works... abstinence doesn't.

http://data.worldbank.org...
Debate Round No. 1
Winter_Soldier

Pro

Thank you for accepting. I will counter your argument but first I would like to ask if there is something that I could say that would make you change your opinion on this topic. Also I will define my terms as clearly as possible so we both have a clear understanding of what we are arguing about. Students should be taught anatomy of course, and I am not suggesting that kids should not be taught about sex, I just believe they should be taught the importance of self control that goes along with staying abstinent. Sex is a very special thing and teens should be taught how and when to use it correctly. Not only is it very different physically from other things teens experience it can have very important mental and emotional effects. I would argue that abstinence is more important for physical and emotional health more so than physical. When you give that kind of intimacy to another person it should be something that is planned and carefully considered. Especially since less than ten percent of high school relationships last, it is important to teach teens that they should only give that kind of intimacy to someone who will appreciate it and not use it incorrectly. As for the importance or lack of importance of "saving yourself" for marriage, in my eyes it is very romantic to wait until marriage to engage in sex. I realize this is just an opinion, so I will move on.
I don"t see how abstinence education is telling teens that sex is bad. Could you clarify? I see it more as teaching them that sex is a very special and wonderful thing that they should be excited for but also be taught how to use it with caution.
Also there are many ways that abstinence only can be as open and honest as other sex educations. I will concede that abstinence only education may not be the best, but abstinence should be taught alongside other sex education so that teens can make their own informed decisions.
Coveny

Con

I open to change if you can prove it.

If you concede that "abstinence only education may not be the best", then you concede the debate, as the debate is "Abstinence Only Education is the best form of Sex Education". So, this is over, and you lost by your own words.

I don"t however, mind continuing the discussion, so if you are curious why I feel that abstinence education isn"t open and honest, and teaches children sex is bad keep reading. We must consider why you don"t want them to have sex. You say sex is special, important, deeply intimate experience, and if it"s not then what? As an adult, you"ve likely had one night stands that were none of that, does it mean you did something wrong? Maybe you do love the person, and in general you are intimate but this one time you had angry sex instead, and it was great, does that mean you don"t love each other, or you"ve cheapened your love? Why was it good if it didn't have those things?

Look sex can be all those things you've mentioned, and it can be none of those things, and nothing is wrong with either. Most relationships have a spectrum of sex that can go anywhere from mercy sex to animalist soul consuming, and each encounter could be anywhere in that range. When you tell a child that sex is this one thing (intimate, special, important) they strive to make every sexual encounter into that. This leads to a belief that if they can"t make it that way, something is wrong with them, and for many (women mainly) this causes horrible consequences because they feel like they aren"t doing it right, or something is wrong with them, or many other very negative feelings toward sex, and it makes their sex lives very bad.

Sex isn"t by nature important, and trying to save it for someone isn"t romantic. It"s just doubling down on the pressure that I was talking about above. Will you have sex with people you shouldn"t" of course. That is why it"s important to be open and honest in discussion with children about sex rather than setting fantasy expectation about how meaningful and important sex is, and how it"s a treasure to save. Then you pick the wrong person to "give" it too, and spend the rest of your life regretting the decision, and feeling like someone stole your treasure. Very few people live happily ever after with the first person they have sex with. (well except for arranged married cultures where you don"t have a choice, so you just end up making the best of it, and over the years start caring for each other, but I digress) So you are setting the child up to fail...

I get the thought of your child having sex at 17 or whatever scares you. As adults, we understand how little teens know about the world, even if they believe they know everything, but trying to force a few extra years has made it so that 75% of women in our world can't climax with vaginal stimulation alone, and many women have never climaxed during intercourse EVER. That is a bad outlook on sex, and it's all to delay the loss of virginity by a few years. Horrible idea, and it needs to stop.
Debate Round No. 2
Winter_Soldier

Pro

My goal was not to win; it was to learn so I gladly concede this entire debate. Thank you for continuing regardless. I did not want to make this a religious argument, so I apologize if that comes out a little. Sex is something that was created not only for us to be able to procreate and continue our species, therefore making it VERY important, but it is also meant to be pleasurable. Are you saying that sex is just sex no matter the reason behind it? Should sex not be connected to love at all? And again I am more concerned with the mental and emotional consequences. It may have been good sex physically but what is angry sex going to do to a couple"s relationship? What are those consequences? Why not try to prevent teenagers from having sex with someone they shouldn"t? Shouldn"t that be part of having an open and honest discussion about sex? Also telling teens things to watch out for? Abstinence is a good prevention method. It is good to make mistakes and learn from them, but it is even better to try to prevent bad things from happening if possible.
Lastly, I see no problem with encouraging teens to strive for a happily ever after. Not so much that they will never be satisfied, but enough that they will not settle for something that is less than the best.
Thank you so much for debating. I hope this has been as enlightening for you as it has been for me.
Coveny

Con

Sex isn"t the important part procreation is, and even procreation at this point in our existence isn"t important. Putting too much importance on it doesn"t help unless you are like Sigmund Freud and feel like everything in your life is driven by sex. Spoiler alert it"s not. It"s is a small part of your life, and it should be a part that is enjoyable.

I am saying sex is sex, and sex can be a whole lot of things. Sometimes it"s all the things you are talking about, and it"s great, but that doesn"t mean that having angry sex can"t help your relationship as well. People are individual, and as such we relate to each other in weird and beautiful ways. Some people like "rough" sex, or roleplay, or any one of hundreds if not thousands of variations physically and emotionally. There aren"t consequences of that unless it"s not mutually consensual. Just because you want sex to fall into a certain box that you label a certain way, doesn"t mean that"s what"s in the child"s LONG TERM best interest. As parents, we should be raising adults not children otherwise they can"t be happy adults.

It"s not open when you tell a child sex is one way (intimate, special, important) even if you feel like that way is "good" it"s still a very closed ideology. It"s also not honest, because if you have had sex for more than a few years you KNOW it"s not always that way. Sometimes it"s "the best", sometimes it"s bad smelly, and you stop before you finish because it"s just not working. Sometimes there is passion, love, and a connection, and other times it"s morning sex where your brain isn"t even fully working yet.

Abstinence is one of the worst prevention methods that exist. This has been proven time and time again by various studies, and research. It"s romantic I guess, but it"s not honest, open, or healthy long term. We can"t prevent our children from making bad decisions and if we pretend that our romantic fantasy is reality it does nothing but cause harm. Either they blame themselves for not fulfilling that fantasy, or they feel like you were dishonest with them and the trust you had is broken.

For me though it comes down to how bad our sex lives are in the US. I mean 75% of women can't climax during sex... at all? That's crazy to me. The guilt, and sadness where there should be joy and pleasure in a world full of so much sadness, is just wrong in my eyes. I feel like abstinence "education" sets unrealistic expectations and makes them blame themselves for a lacked self-control, or whatever.

Thanks for the debate. See ya next time.
Debate Round No. 3
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by PaxilonBlue 8 months ago
PaxilonBlue
This topic seems to be, from the Pro side, to really be more about learning healthy relationships not sex. Sex is part of the healthy relationship. But also something more then just a relationship. Knowing and learning about oneself and how we as individuals interconnect in relationships and as humans with various proclivities, psychological and physiological identities, are vast. How we interact can only be taught on a simplistic scale compared to vast understanding one gains by experience within the actual interacting with others, and sex is a huge part of that deep level of understanding is gained from that vastness. Healthy consensual adult human to adult human sexual coupling should never be shamed or thought to be perverse as a negative aspect of life but embraced with knowledge and a bit of caution. Relationships are complex, and Sexual Relationships are even more so. Understanding those relationships can only really come from experience and understanding, not Fear.
Posted by PaxilonBlue 8 months ago
PaxilonBlue
This topic seems to be, from the Pro side, to really be more about learning healthy relationships not sex. Sex is part of the healthy relationship. But also something more then just a relationship. Knowing and learning about oneself and how we as individuals interconnect in relationships and as humans with various proclivities, psychological and physiological identities, are vast. How we interact can only be taught on a simplistic scale compared to vast understanding one gains by experience within the actual interacting with others, and sex is a huge part of that deep level of understanding is gained from that vastness. Healthy consensual adult human to adult human sexual coupling should never be shamed or thought to be perverse as a negative aspect of life but embraced with knowledge and a bit of caution. Relationships are complex, and Sexual Relationships are even more so. Understanding those relationships can only really come from experience and understanding, not Fear.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by dsjpk5 8 months ago
dsjpk5
Winter_SoldierCovenyTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Concession.
Vote Placed by SolonKR 8 months ago
SolonKR
Winter_SoldierCovenyTied
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Reasons for voting decision: "Birthday control" sounds like a useful technique for keeping the elderly young and spry. Anyway, Pro conceded in R3.