Adoption is a very beneficial. Being adopted myself, I am all for adoption. International adoption is very important, because it can take a child born into a harmful and dangerous environment to a life filled with more opportunities. I know that I would not have the same opportunities in South Korea, than I do here in America. People who oppose adoption do not know how beneficial it can be. It is true the wonder is always there, the wonder why you were adopted or who are you parents.
Although you raise some good points regarding adoption, there are also some negative aspects to adoption. Having some close family and friends who have adopted children, I noticed that the adopted child always fought to know his biological parents. This caused some major turmoil within the household. Then once they found out who their biological parents are they became very defiant.
Almost every adopted children, will grow up and wonder about their "real" parents. 34 percent of adopted children, try to find out more about who they came from and may even want to meet them. I am not in that 34 percent. I have openly asked about my birth parents to my parents. There are always a reason behind why a child was adopted; maybe it's abandonment, poverty, or some other issue. What ever reason a child still wonders, we wonder and some my feel pain and others accept and move on. It basically all depends on how the parents handle the situation. Some parents do not tell the child early enough or even don't tell them at all, if its not obvious. People who wait to tell the child, will cause family turmoil and upheaval.
The parents adopting the child never understands the full aspect of why the child is being put up for adoption. They never know if it is for abuses or they just can not afford to keep the baby. The Child may have some serious issues with being abused and also may be mentally hurt. This is a really big issue because the parents have no idea what they may face in the future. Also parents have a wait time for the child. Within this waiting period the parents meet the child and most people get emotionally attached to the child. But then some times within the waiting period the adoption could fall through and this could be heart wrenching to the parents.
In some cases the parent adopting child do know the reason or reasons. Each of my siblings received a letter telling about the reason we were each adopted. My letter which I have read, said that I was given up for adoption because my mom had no husband and could not afford me. Others my not be as lucky as me to really know the reason but it still doesn't matter. I know a lot of kids who are adopted and they have no letter and are fine with there adoption. It's true what you say though, some families go into turmoil because the child feels empty. I went through a stage where I could not process why my mom didn't want me, I felt unwanted. But I got over it and realized how lucky I am to have such a wonderful life because I am adopted.
Another negative aspect to the adoption agencies is all about the cost. The prices just to adopt a child is outrageous. It can cost a person up to 30 thousand dollars to adopt a child. And some of the best homes may not have that number to purchase and adoption because they would rather spend it on the child not have to give that money over to the agencies. This really throws off a lot of families that want to handle an adopted child and it will make some of the best homes avoid it.
It is well worth the cost I can assure you . Most families who adopted are not able to have child themselves like my mom. They realize the price, as shocking as it may be, if they really wants children but can't, this is the only option. The cost does bring up issues for a lot of families but you can get financial help from an agency. I am not suggesting is easy, just hand in some money and bam you got yourself a baby, it does not work like that at all and I know that. Adoption can take months, and even years and then suddenly the whole thing could be up rooted. Adoption agencies prepare the families to make sure they are ready for what ever happens.
All which you said May be true the toll on the family can be destructive if they get to attached to that child. If the family does get so attached to this child it can really hurt there feelings and really turn them off from wanting to try agian. This toll can be really unbareable. Also they may not feel like dealing with the wait for a year so some parents get turned to foster instead of adoption