The Instigator
LogicalThinker
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
brian_eggleston
Pro (for)
Winning
15 Points

Aliens should be held acountable for the 2008 economic recession that they caused

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
brian_eggleston
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/28/2011 Category: Economics
Updated: 6 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,761 times Debate No: 18074
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (13)
Votes (3)

 

LogicalThinker

Con

Do you accept the challenge? If so the rules are as follows:
•No smileys under ANY circumstances. The use
Smileys will result in your instant death
caused by rabid dogs tearing your balls off.
clear on that? Good. Onto rule the second.
•Grammar must be perfect.
•Do not let your homo debate for you.
I anticipate your response.
brian_eggleston

Pro

i accept! Lead on MacDuff!
Debate Round No. 1
LogicalThinker

Con

As there is no current evidence to suggest that aliens are at fault for our economic recession then we must assume that they had no role in the whole affair. I'm afraid it falls on you to construct a contradictory argument.
brian_eggleston

Pro

All that's necessary for the forces of evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing. So said the Irish political Edmund Burke in the 18th Century and that adage is as true today as it was ever was.

And it is not just the apathy of good men that is to blame for things going wrong in the world: it is the apathy of aliens as well.

When the aliens observed grasping, incompetent investment bankers recklessly gambling with other people's money in pursuit of ever more obscene bonuses, they could, and should, have intervened.

I don't exactly know what they could have done to prevent the economic meltdown that has caused financial misery for millions of blameless, hardworking families, but then I don't exactly know how to cross the vast distances between the stars like the aliens do.

It therefore follows that they have the intelligence to predict the collapse of the banking system and also to figure out what to do to prevent it, but they did nothing. They just sat idly back in their intergalactic spaceships and watched the whole caboodle go down the toilet. Disgraceful. These should be ashamed of themselves and they should be held accountable for the 2008 economic recession they caused.

Thank you.
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Debate Round No. 2
LogicalThinker

Con

Alien Relations

Over the years we have kept an extremely strong relationship with alien folk. An attempt at scapegoating them as the cause of the recession could jepordize our relationship with them. And if star wars is anything to go by this is not something we want to do.
brian_eggleston

Pro

When wildlife filmmakers see a lost, injured or starving animal they don't intervene because they don't want to upset the balance of nature.

I suppose the aliens adopt a similar policy with the human race.

However, unlike stricken animals who are unable to ask humans for help, we have the ability to communicate with the aliens because they use a Babel fish (like the one on the You Tube clip) to monitor our telephone calls and internet posts.

So, on the assumption that the aliens are reading this I am going to make the following statement on behalf of the human race:

"Now look here you extra-terrestrial explorer chaps, we appreciate that you don't want to interfere with our affairs and would rather just observe our activities but there are occasions when we really could do with your help. One of those occasions was back in 1929 when the collapse of the Amercan Stock Market led to the Great Depression and another was in 2008 when another banking crisis led to another massive depression.

Now, we don't know if you were around for the first economic crisis because we only learned of your existence in 1947 when one of your flying saucers crashed into the desert near Roswell in America (what happened there, by the way, was the pilot drunk, or a female pilot or what?) but I'm afraid we are going to have to hold you accountable for the 2008 economic crisis because you could, and should, have done something to prevent it.

Now, we don't want any Star Wars-style unpleasantness, and I am sure you are civilised enough to accept responsibility for your failings in good grace so, on this occasion, consider yourself duly admonished but the next time you see investment bankers playing fast and loose with the economy please ensure you step in and stop them.

Thank you."
Debate Round No. 3
LogicalThinker

Con



I thank my opponent for his informative reply. I accept the existence of aliens -- David Bowie would never lie. I must also thank him for the warning about the Babel Fish. As a measure against prying alien ears I shall construct my argument in Dog Latin[1]. Andus I requestus thatus my opponent do the samus.

Rebuttals


When wildlife filmmakers see a lost, injured or starving animal they don't intervene because they don't want to upset the balance of nature.

Untruus; filmmakeri are sadisti[2].


"Thereus is a needlessly protracted sequenceu s betweenus the mother and a wounded cubus that’s pureus filmmaker sadismus".


Sous we shouldus assumus thatus alieni are also sadistius.

Therefore it's worth taking notus of the factus that David Bowieus sings songs about sadists...

I will stop talking in Dogus Latin nowus. Hopefully alieni are retardus.


Now look here you extra-terrestrial explorer chaps, we appreciate that you don't want to interfere with our affairs and would rather just observe our activities but there are occasions when we really could do with your help. One of those occasions was back in 1929 when the collapse of the American Stock Market led to the Great Depression and another was in 2008 when another banking crisis led to another massive depression.

You see; these sadists will take that to mean:

'Now look here big boys, we appreciate that you don't want to *ahem* penetrate our force-fields -probably because the women pilots won't let you, what, what- and would rather just pleasure yourselves but there are occasions when we can't quite climax. One of those occasions was back in 1929 when Herbert 'The Pervert' Hoover bit off a bit more than he could chew, what, what and another was in 2008 Barack 'A-Boma' (what, what) Obama went for the depression again".



My arguments

Let's assume, for arguments sake, that these sadists could have stopped the recession. Do we really want them any closer than they already are? Let's think about that.

They're probably masochists. The Doctor kicks alien a$$ every week and the aliens keep coming back for more![3].

Toy Story featured three aliens: Buzz - the arrogant one[4], Zurg - the evil one[5] and the retarded ones in the machines[6].

The sadists in District9 are completely uncivilised[7].

PAUL is... Well... Randy[8].

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles are... Well... Tennagers[9].

The cyber-men are heartless[10].

The Jedi have big guns[11].

The Daleks are just plain cocky[ 12].

And now I've just insulted every sadist there is.
so; if you want uncivilised, arrogant, heartless, evil, retarded, randy, sado/masochist and, quite frankly, cocky teenagers with big guns messing around on or near our planet then be my guest. But I would rather keep them at arms length.

I look forward to the feeble excuses my opponent makes to defend the sadists.

Sources

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org...

[2] http://movies.nytimes.com...

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org...

[4] http://en.wikipedia.org...

[5] http://en.wikipedia.org...

[6]http://en.wikipedia.org...

[7]http://en.wikipedia.org...

[8] http://en.wikipedia.org...(film)

[9]http://www.ninjaturtles.com...

[10] http://en.wikipedia.org...

[11] http://en.wikipedia.org...

[12] http://en.wikipedia.org...
brian_eggleston

Pro

brian_eggleston forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
LogicalThinker

Con

LogicalThinker forfeited this round.
brian_eggleston

Pro

Does anyone read as far as the fifth round in debates?

I bet nobody does.

I could say anything I like here and it wouldn't make one jot of difference.

So I will.

"All aliens are morons."

It doesn't matter, they didn't even read as far as the third round where my opponent took the opportunity to insult them on a wholesale basis, although the first bit was conducted in a language that would be unintelligible even to their Babel fish.

Anyway, just in case I'm wrong and somebody does read this, I hereby reaffirm that the aliens should be held accountable for the 2008 economic recession that they caused, because it was their fault.

Thank you.
Debate Round No. 5
13 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by LogicalThinker 6 years ago
LogicalThinker
Damn! I even had the argument written out in word...
Posted by LogicalThinker 6 years ago
LogicalThinker
I know. When it got to four in the morning I had a feeling it was going to be a forfeit.
Posted by brian_eggleston 6 years ago
brian_eggleston
Oh no! I just missed the deadline. Sorry.
Posted by LogicalThinker 6 years ago
LogicalThinker
Yes, Kinesis, they did. That is common knowledge.
Posted by Kinesis 6 years ago
Kinesis
Well that was a let down. Also, the resolution implicitly assumes that aliens caused the 2008 recession.
Posted by groverrohan 6 years ago
groverrohan
You know, Pro, you just need to say that they need to be held accountable, as it's already established that the aliens caused the recession (the topic says so). Easy win (;
Posted by LogicalThinker 6 years ago
LogicalThinker
Balls, tits, whatever...
Posted by Ore_Ele 6 years ago
Ore_Ele
How would rule 1 apply to girls?
Posted by LogicalThinker 6 years ago
LogicalThinker
Really? I assumed you were admitting to murder...
Posted by 1Historygenius 6 years ago
1Historygenius
Really? Well here is a joke:

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.

"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."

"Oh, that's awful!"

"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."

There, so now you can see I enjoy humor.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by F-16_Fighting_Falcon 5 years ago
F-16_Fighting_Falcon
LogicalThinkerbrian_egglestonTied
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Total points awarded:05 
Reasons for voting decision: This was a tough one! Pro was far more humorous and actually showed that the inaction of aliens caused the 2008 economic recession. A HUGE stretch, I might add but Con did nothing to refute it so it stands. SG obvious.
Vote Placed by Man-is-good 5 years ago
Man-is-good
LogicalThinkerbrian_egglestonTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Pro, I was inspired by that babel fish, and your excellent story about the apathy of our extraterrestrial companions, to reward you these points. As for Con, writing in Dog Latin, insulting your fellow kinsmen (ooh--one point off the mark!), and making an argument after two forgettable rounds will make you slide down the slope. To Pro, I tip off my hat and give you my cup of tea in Canterbury. To Con....we need to show you more Groucho Marx videos, and perhaps some of the Babel fish...
Vote Placed by Lordknukle 6 years ago
Lordknukle
LogicalThinkerbrian_egglestonTied
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Reasons for voting decision: The only time when con provided an argument was in Round 4. This was very stupid. Brian had better spelling, conduct, and argument.