The Instigator
Sunfire315
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Peepette
Con (against)
Winning
3 Points

Are potatoes evil?

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
Peepette
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/21/2016 Category: Funny
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,221 times Debate No: 85329
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (8)
Votes (3)

 

Sunfire315

Pro

Greetings fellow colleagues. I have come to warn you about the threat of the potato legions. They lurk beneath our feet, planning for the right moment to strike. Like steel platypi made of... steel, they are the 3rd gravest threat to humanity: right behind the muffin plague of Canada, and the candidates for the 2016 election.

Contention 1:
Potatoes are seldom eaten while unseasoned.
If potatoes have nothing to hide, why are they always covered in seasonings like butter, salt, and in some cases cheese?

Contention 2:
Potatoes hide underground.
If potatoes are innocent of wrongdoing, why would they hide underground?

Contention 3:
The irish potato famine.
Here we have a distinctive example of a potato betraying humanity. They are trying to get us dependent on them, until they can finally turn there backs on us, starving us to death. Think about it: what kind of idiot sees a potato and says: "oh, lets deep fry this potato.". Nobody.
Peepette

Con

I have no recourse but to defend the potato. They are held in high esteem in our home and in many others. We even grow them in our garden with utmost care. Our children and grandchildren have been given potatoes to play with as toys. We draw eyes on them and make a paper towel diapers for the tot. It has resulted in hours of imaginative play, and is almost indestructible in a child's hands. No crying occurs, like when other toys get broken. No frustration on my part trying to reattach an arm or leg of a doll that has been ripped off by rough play. I have even written a short story on the elevated status the potato holds with in my family. The potato in its simplicity is perfection on so many levels.

Most meals would not be complete without some sort of potato present (pasta nights excluded). From home fries with eggs for breakfast, chips accompanying a sandwich with lunch, to the billowy, buttery goodness of mashed, that is the quintessential match to almost anything that lands on a plate for dinner; especially meatloaf.

1. But alas, there is the joy of a boiled petite purple potatoes, fingerlings or cubed Yukon golds. No seasoning required they can stand alone. A fine choice for the adult or child who does not like foods touching each other, also perfect for individuals who just wishes to wallow in pure potato goodness like my spouse, mother, mother in law, brother, sister; I can go on and on but character limits forbid.

2. Potatoes are completely innocent of any wrong doing. They are shy and choose not to be obvious; unlike the above ground show offs. We know they're there by their rather plain greenery that is expose to sunlight. (Did you catch that? “they’re, there and their” all used in one statement?) To accuse a potato of wrongdoing by your criteria would also cast all tubers of the same fate; carrots, beets, daikon, turnips, radishes and yams. Are they also suspect in your eyes?

3. It was not the potato that failed the Irish, but the Irish that failed the potato. Of the 5,000 [1] varieties of potatoes in existence the Irish chose only one type of spud; the lumper [2] and they did not treat it well. They cloned them over and over again until very little genetic diversity remained. The result was a very sick potato that could no longer perform. It was very sad that such malevolence was inflicted upon this precious tuber that wished only to feed humans.

Furthermore, in response to your comment “what kind of idiot sees a potato and says: "oh, let’s deep fry this potato". Nobody.” I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase; do you want fries with your burger? What is fish without chips? Catsup’s existence is predicated on the existence of French fries. Canadians would be saddened without their savory poutine. Vegetarians would suffer from depression if French fries did not exist. Back to you spud hater.

1. https://en.wikipedia.org...
2. http://evolution.berkeley.edu...


Debate Round No. 1
Sunfire315

Pro

The potato is a dangerous and lethal creature, capable of killing a man within

You have only clarified my point in saying that potatoes go good with everything. This can only be evidence of the potatoes deliberately manipulating human society and culture into giving them a position of such power. No normal plant could naturally be tasty enough to evoke the saccharine potato worship of my opponent.

1. Now the most plausible explanation of the Potatoes Preternatural Palatability, is that Potatoes are genetically engineering themselves in order to attain maximum delicacy. Furthermore, this explains why you cannot list all of the ways the potato is delicious, because it can change its flavor at a moments notice.

The potato is indeed remaining underground to remain inconspicuous. The question here is: "Why do they want to hide?" It cannot be because they are shy or meek, because a shy and meek potato would dread the fame and worship they would receive from potato worshippers such as my opponent.

The potato heads indestructibility is damning evidence of the potatoes sinister nature. The dolls indestructibility points to an origin beyond human hands, which can only be explained by extraterrestrials or demons.

Images of potatoes in their true form:
http://farm1.staticflickr.com...
http://1.bp.blogspot.com...
http://faculty.prioryca.org...

[CLASSIFIED]
http://cdn.ufogrid.distributed.io...
In April 16th, 1967 in Seattle, an unidentified flying potato shaped object was seen flying above the earth. The following day, everyone in seattle was struck with a mysterious disease, which led to bluish black spots, similar to the "eyes" of a potato, appearing on their skin. 3 months later, seattle disappeared, replaced entirely with fields upon fields upon fields of potatoes. The military force which went to investigate soon realized that the potatoes feasted on human flesh. No word was ever heard from them again. Seattle was nuked, and the population replaced with coffee obsessed liberals in order to cover up the potato invasion. The U.S government could not risk the potatoes being discovered by the people of America. If the American Public knew that potatoes were evil, there would be mass rioting and chaos, anarchy in the streets. The U.S soon founded the S.P.U.D, the Special Potato Unit Department, to deal with the potatoes in a silent war.

Furthermore, I am highly offended that my opponent chose to depict my words in the most despicable of fonts; comic sans. I have never endured such a vicious and savage personal attack, you filthy spud sucking slave.
Peepette

Con

“Deliberately manipulating human society,” That is poppycock and slanderous! As I stated previously they are not show offs. They are humble stars, unlike any of the Kardashians, the brash, flashy red tomato, or bright green leafy lettuce. Go get one, hold it in your hand, and REALLY look at it. It is punchy, dull colored and homely. It has an irregular pocked surface, much like some teenagers' faces. With this shape and complexion, they only want acceptance. It tries harder than it needs to; lacking self esteem. They are worthy of our respect because their beauty is beyond shin deep. They are Cinderellas without a fairly god mother; an unkissed toad never to be a prince.

There are many foods that are far tastier than the potato; their talent lies as an accompaniment. They are never the major feature on a plate; a true team player with other foods. You can eat a steak by itself and be content but, when a baked or mashed potato is beside it, somehow it makes the meal complete. They are the nuts in a brownie, but do not shine like the fudgy deliciousness of the brownie.

1. Potatoes did not genetically engineer themselves; they are multicultural [1]. Against their wishes, they were transported to Europe from Peru and Chile by the Spanish, spread throughout eastern and central Europe, as well as southern and eastern Asia [2]. Yet, somehow they found their way back to the Americas, a bit changed but innately the same.

As far as their ever changing flavors are concerned, they are a mere blank canvas that humans paint their gustatory whims upon. Their gastronomic flexibility is primitive to modern; imbued only by the initiative of an individual’s hand.

2. Au contraire mon ami, the potato wishes to remain inconspicuous and is even evasive. When their leaves die off signaling the end of their life cycle, I have to dig and sift through the soil to find them. Several elude my search only to be found in the spring when their leafy sprouts break the cold earth anew. It’s too late to recapture them once this has occurred, leaving themselves hidden in the dark for another season. I do not worship the potato; I show only respect.

3. Could you make the same indestructible toy from a turnip, large beet, or lotus root? Of course you could; although they are not as agreeable to a child’s handling. Are these also sinister tubers that intend harm to humans? The mere fact that they cause no harm to children is an indication of their kind gentle nature and placidity.

(Heartily laughing) Attributing the potatoes raw state of indestructibility as extraterrestrial or demonic is nonsensical due to lack of concrete evidence that either exist.

Images: You sir, are accused of fraud and deception with your altered photos. With Photo shop or paint I can manipulate an image of a donkey to resemble you. Shame on you, have you no honor? I present real and happy potatoes in their natural state [3, 4, 5].

Rebuttal Classified: More of your Tomfoolery is exposed; passing off a blurry image that appears to be a nothing more than colored popcorn on a field of blue. And when I checked, Seattle was where it always was; with its natives eating hash browns for breakfast. Not only is the original population intact, but potato growing is encouraged [6, 7]. Furthermore, it is absurd that a potato is capable of self propulsion through the air. This feat can only be accomplished by direct force against it, being thrown by a human, or shot out of potato cannon. Your so called formation on S.P.U.D. is akin to imaginations of the “Get Smart” TV show; S.P.U.D. against evil potato KAOS. Like the show, is laughable.

Judging your fallacious notions made in this round, you are deserving of the comic sans glove slap.


1. https://search.yahoo.com...

2. https://en.wikipedia.org...


3. http://greenasathistle.com...

4. http://westmillorganics.co.uk...

5. http://media.npr.org...


6. http://www.seattletimes.com...

7. http://growfoodseattle.com...
Debate Round No. 2
Sunfire315

Pro

Sunfire315 forfeited this round.
Peepette

Con

My opponent crumbled like a potato chip.
Debate Round No. 3
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by whiteflame 1 year ago
whiteflame
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>Reported vote: DankMan// Mod action: Removed<

4 points to Pro (Conduct, Arguments), 3 piints to Con (S&G, Sources). Reasons for voting decision: Forfite

[*Reason for removal*] A forfeit justifies conduct, that would go to Con. None of the other point allocations are explained.
************************************************************************
Posted by raskuseal 1 year ago
raskuseal
I see. Thanks for that. I will look for the Aquanet hairspray. I hope it stays a gas long enough, as the other sprays I have used alongside Either (Explosive spray) have not stayed a gas long enough. They just turned into condensation before I can push the button.
Posted by Peepette 1 year ago
Peepette
Potatoes, like elephants never forget. Either way, I had a fun with this debate. I'll keep and eye out for any other food related debates you might instigate and I will invite you to mine when a good topic comes to mind. Take care and laugh today
Posted by Sunfire315 1 year ago
Sunfire315
I had my case. I FORGOT TO POST IT.. D:
Posted by Peepette 1 year ago
Peepette
Propellant choice is everything, an aerosol is a must; Aquanet hairspray is best . Check the end of your Piezoelectric ignition. If there is any dried spray on it, it will not ignite.
Posted by raskuseal 1 year ago
raskuseal
Oh I'll have to try that sometime. I would have tried to use a t-shirt like a book I read it from said i could use, but my cannon doesn't want to work. after several experiments, I think i have deduced it to the hairspray and the either not staying a gas long enough to ignite. You got any tips that could help? I'm using a Piezoelectric BBQ lighter system to create a spark in the combustion chamber. The spark itself is pretty big, so it can't be that. The cannon itself is made out of svc-40 tubing able to withstand over 100 psi, too.
Posted by Peepette 1 year ago
Peepette
Potato cannons, know them well. The cannons work well with apples as well.
Posted by raskuseal 1 year ago
raskuseal
IF that's the case, then I'm SCREWED! I usefully use potatoes as ammo in a potato cannon I built!
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by famousdebater 1 year ago
famousdebater
Sunfire315PeepetteTied
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Reasons for voting decision: ff
Vote Placed by The-Voice-of-Truth 1 year ago
The-Voice-of-Truth
Sunfire315PeepetteTied
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Reasons for voting decision: FF by Pro.
Vote Placed by Forever23 1 year ago
Forever23
Sunfire315PeepetteTied
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Reasons for voting decision: ff