Best Death Wish
Debate Rounds (4)
Another reason for the dreaded 'splain, is how you must leave absolutely nothing to the readers imagination. Also, even though this would ruin nearly any mystically beautiful (but still inferior to my own) death, you should strive to include a horribly annoying and useless character than completely destroys anyone's faith in the series. (Curse you Jar-Jar!) But if you do include such a character you will only make it apparently obvious that you should be dead.
Wake bright and early- today is the day you die! The preparation has been a long time coming, and it is all coming to a close, so put a smile on your face and enjoy the physical sensations of the day. You've successfully rented a helicopter, and your friend the pilot has agreed to fly. Your bomb is a thing of beauty, and you have a stockpile of morphine to make the trip a relaxing one.
Now, get on the helicopter on this fine Saturday morning. You fly over to the local Methodist church where a crowd of people that look like ants has gathered below. It is a wedding, and here comes the bride and groom. It is not just any bride and groom, but (insert arch nemesis- perhaps she left you for him. Perhaps she is the daughter of your old business partner). Now is your chance (I hope you have remembered to take that morphine because you won't want to be too aware of this). Jump out of the hovering helicopter with your finger on the bomb detonator. As the faces of the crowd turn towards your plummeting body, hit the button. Now you are a chunky pink shower for the brides special day. Congratulations. You are dead and revenge is accomplished.
Enveloped in the cheers, they gather, wailing your name.
"Alias! Alias! Alias!"
"Death to Black Spy!"
"Show us the loser!"
Smiling, you grant their request. Lifting your hand high above the crowd, tightly clutched between your fingers. A pure black pointed hat. The people are roaring. Energy surges through them to light the astounding hatred for your foe.
Decapitation; the glee experienced at the momentous perilous point of perplexed perfection. It is so as you understand nothing other than it's surface meaning, but then a darker realization reveals itself: meaning. This is what you have lost.
Gaining superiority over The Federation means nothing to you now. You fought your foe for what seems like forever but now, alas, you choke at the notion of something better.
Black Spy. What are you without him?
A light in the darkness?
No. That's what you were, what you now cease to be. For what, you ask; Is light without darkness? Triumph without Legacy? A smile grows over your colorless face- such a twisted grin of euphoria. One last stick of dynamite remains tightly clutched. . . between your fingers. For what, you think. . . Is white without black?
The things I find displeasing about your so lovely demise (I'll admit to that) but it lacked that. . . personal touch.
The death you had in mind seemed to be one of revenge (or just plain nut-craziness) which is fine, but if you want to mess someone up you have to crush their innocence.
Hide in the cake, with a bomb; wait, then Kaboom! Your guts are everywhere: the floor, the walls, ceiling, cups, plates, guests, and stupid people you hate. Your brains, in the cake, for a wedding. And hopefully also covering the flower-girl.
dougtomyfriends forfeited this round.
I'd be sure to stay mayor Of That on FourSquare.
My opponent's death wish requires an alternate reality. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, but the bleak snapshot of the dystopia he describes would make suicide banal and common. Who wouldn't want to end his/her life when civilization has turned into some combination of spy v spy and the hunger games?
Additionally, my opponent's suicidal character has a brief philosophical "insight" before pulling out what I imagine is a bugs bunny type stick of dynamite and hitting the detonator button. The character thinks that the only meaning in life comes from fighting an opponent- what a cliche. I don't think dear Alias has thought things through. There are so many lovely things to come in the life of a hero. At the very least, he should wait until he becomes bored with all of the orgies he will find himself at the center of. Further, if all he wants is to fight, there will always be an opponent. Hell, he can always join the other side.
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