The Instigator
Zaradi
Pro (for)
Winning
9 Points
The Contender
MarquisX
Con (against)
Losing
8 Points

Best Joke

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 5 votes the winner is...
Zaradi
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/19/2012 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,168 times Debate No: 21271
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (3)
Votes (5)

 

Zaradi

Pro

I've seen this done before and since all I have so far are serious debates, I figure I ought to have a relaxed one for once.

How this debate works: Round one is acceptance. Round two each person posts one joke. It may be a joke of any kind, so long as it is funny.
Round three each person posts a second joke. Same rules as per jokes apply, just must be funny.

Judges judge based on who posted the funniest jokes.
MarquisX

Con

Lets do it.
Debate Round No. 1
Zaradi

Pro

A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding ten miles over the speed limit.
The cop approaches the car and taps on the window.
The driver reluctantly rolls down the window and says "I have a gun in the glove box compartment and a dead body in the trunk".
The police officer looks confused and says "Excuse me?"
The man repeats "I have a gun in the glove box compartment and a dead body in the trunk."
The police officer takes a step back, drawing his gun and radioing in for back-up.
As the second police officer arrives on scene, the first police officer has already gotten the man out of the car and into handcuffs.
The second cop opens up the trunk to find there isn't a dead body.
He looks in the glove box compartment and cannot find a gun.
The second cop asks the citizen "This officer told me you had a dead body in the trunk and a gun in the glove box compartment."
The citizen laughs and remarks, "I bet he told you I was speeding too."
MarquisX

Con

The other day I was sitting in a resturant and I noticed all of the waiters had spoons in thier front pockets. So I flagged one down and I asked him"Hey what's with the spoon?" And he says to me"Oh our restaurant has hired consultants and the consultants say 2 out of every 5 people eating will drop a spoon. So in order to save time, we've all been equipped with clean spoons. If a patron should drop a spoon, we give them the one we have then, take the dropped one to the back to be washed and that becomes our carrying spoon." I was sitting there thinking, that's smart, but when he turned to walk away, I noticed a string coming from the zipper on his pants. A quick look around showed all the waiters had strings coming from the crotch area. So I say to the waiter "Hold on man, the spoon makes sense but what's with the string?" He says to me "Consultants again. Apparently we don't wash our hands enough when we go to the bathroom so in order to not get germs in stuff in the food, we don't even touch our penises, the string is tied to it and we just unzip and pull the string when we need to go." He started walking away but I stopped him and asked "Wait a minute dude. Everything you say makes sense, but how do you put your penis back in your pants?" He leans in real close to me and says " I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoons"
Debate Round No. 2
Zaradi

Pro

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a
few drinks.

After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know,
tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes.
I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the
Mercedes, and she will know that I love her."

After finishing his scotch,
the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of
pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then
at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved
her."

The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well
for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she
didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go fvck herself."
MarquisX

Con

Two guys are drinking at a bar. The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something, and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?" The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets, and the chick behind the counter had these huge tits, and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I asked for 'two tickets to Titsburgh' The First guy says, "Yeah, well I was having breakfast with my wife last week, and instead of saying 'Honey can you please pass me the sugar?', I said 'You've ruined my life you F*CKING B!TCH'
Debate Round No. 3
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by kyro90 5 years ago
kyro90
Con's first was hilarious! xD
Posted by kyro90 5 years ago
kyro90
Con's first was hilarious! xD
Posted by Microsuck 5 years ago
Microsuck
Interesting. I think this is a tie. Con wins the second round; but pro wins the first round.
5 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Vote Placed by MikeyMike 5 years ago
MikeyMike
ZaradiMarquisXTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro's first joke was witty and funny. . Con's first joke would have been funny if not for the predictability of it. Pro's last joke was hilarious. Con's last joke seemed like a joke that would have been hilarious if heard and not read. All in all Pro's jokes were funnier.
Vote Placed by Maikuru 5 years ago
Maikuru
ZaradiMarquisXTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Both of Pro's jokes were hilarious. I actually told someone the cop one. Con's second joke was funny but the first was a little obvious. Good jokes.
Vote Placed by KRFournier 5 years ago
KRFournier
ZaradiMarquisXTied
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Total points awarded:32 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro won the first round, Con won the second. Since I liked Pro's first round joke a little better, Pro gets one point over Con.
Vote Placed by kyro90 5 years ago
kyro90
ZaradiMarquisXTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Con's jokes were absolutly hilarious! xD I laughed for at least 5 min on each! xD
Vote Placed by DevonNetzley 5 years ago
DevonNetzley
ZaradiMarquisXTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: I like cons jokes better. Plain and simple.