The Instigator
Pro (for)
2 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
6 Points

Best Jokes

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/15/2013 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,400 times Debate No: 29242
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (5)
Votes (2)




Merely vote completely for whoever had the best votes.

Round 1: Acceptance
Round 2: Blond (2)
Round 3: Yo Mama (3)
Round 4: Dirty (2)
Round 5: Wildcard Story (any humorous story/joke) (2)


Bring it.
Debate Round No. 1


A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"


A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde, 'I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said, 'That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."

This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immediately got up and went to her seat in coach.

The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."


Q: A blonde and a brunette jumped off a cliff. Who hit bottom first?
A: The brunette -- the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'
Debate Round No. 2


Yo mama so stupid she got locked in Walmart and starved to death.

Yo mama so bad at sports she threw a ball at the ground and missed.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.


Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Yo mama's so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops.

Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it.
Debate Round No. 3


Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what politics is."

Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of $hit."


A young teenage girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"


There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.
"Can I touch it?"
"No way -- you already broke yours off!"
There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. So, the grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. He is going to try to feel your breast, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. But most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that but, don't let him do that, it will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. So, the next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she had said. "But," she said, "I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried that I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
Debate Round No. 4


An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:






It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator..."


An alien walked into a shop and told the owner that he came from Mars and wanted to buy a brain for research.
'How much is this one?' he asked. 'Well that one is a monkey brain and it's $20,' he explained.
'How much is that one?' he asked 'Well that one is a female brain and its $100.' he explained.
'And how much is that one?' he asked. 'That one is a male's brain and it is $500' he explained.
'Why so expensive?' the alien asked. 'Well it has hardly been used!'
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do."

"But I don't have the fingers!"

"Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor.

"Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
Debate Round No. 5
5 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Posted by wolfman4711 3 years ago
Great job can't pick a winner.
Posted by B3N 3 years ago
I'm interested to see the votes. After this I'm going to host a riddle challenge thing if anyone wants a challenge.
Posted by Kinesis 3 years ago
I can't decide who won - you both did great, after the yo mama jokes anyway lol.
Posted by tennis47 3 years ago
Posted by johnlubba 3 years ago
Great jokes both of you.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by johnlubba 3 years ago
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Total points awarded:23 
Reasons for voting decision: Great Job, I am going to award my points to Con for being slightly funnier, the virgin joke was my favorite. but I would also like to award points to Pro for making a great effort.
Vote Placed by MochaShakaKhan 3 years ago
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: "Yo mama's so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops." This one gave me a chuckle, so I'll give it to con.