The Instigator
jdog2016
Pro (for)
Losing
7 Points
The Contender
Guy_D
Con (against)
Winning
14 Points

Best Utopia Contest

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
Guy_D
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/10/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,876 times Debate No: 34667
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (11)
Votes (3)

 

jdog2016

Pro

Hello, I have been on this site for a few months now. I noticed you have only been on for a day, and thought we could have a fun debate.

Round 1 is for acceptance. No arguments at this time.

In this debate, Pro and Con will each create a utopia, and explain why their utopia is better than their opponents.

<>Profanity is allowed
<>Telling the truth is not required
<>Good Grammar

AUDIENCE:

This debate is to be judged completely on who's arguments were the most entertaining. When voting, give all 7 points to one side.
Guy_D

Con

Thanks jdog2016 for inviting me to participate in this (my first real) debate. I"m not used to debating such a structured format, so it will be interesting to see how well I do.

In thinking about how to create my Utopia, I look to someone with great wisdom on the matter" No not Barack Obama! I will seek the wisdom of Todd Rundgren. My opponent probably never heard of Rundren (I should get points for that) Rundren is an American multi-instrumentalist, songwriter and record producer. Hailed in the early stage of his career as a new pop star, supported by the certified gold solo double LP Something/Anything? in 1972,[1] his career has produced a diverse range of recordings as solo artist, and during the seventies and eighties with the band >>>>Utopia. <<<< This guy has the chops on all things >>>>Utopia<<<<

So, after consulting with Mr. >>>>Utopia<<<<, my >>>>Utopia<<<< is rather a simple >>>>Utopia<<<<. After all, isn"t that what >>>>Utopia<<< is supposed to be all about? (Simple)

What I plan on doing is a human experiment of sorts. I will drive to my drug dealer"s street corner and pick up a sack of ganja, and perhaps a few hits of acid. Once home, I will partake in my purchased goodies. After I"m off to another world, I"ll be taking serious notes and preparing my mind to actually lay out my vision of >>>>Utopia<<<<.

Thank you,
Debate Round No. 1
jdog2016

Pro

I have no fvcking idea what that means.....but if your getting acid, hit me up bro!

Ok lets start the debate.


*Hardcore Metal Guitar and Drums in Background*

All right audience! Everyone just hold the fvck up!! It's time for Insane-Vill!

*Fire Shoots out of ground*

As you can probaly imagine, it's insane!

WE HAVE

Aliens!


Cowboys!!


Explosions!!!



ZOMBIES!


so sexy


SUPER CUTE CATS!



Dino's!!!!!!!!!




And SOOO SOOO MUCH MORE!!!



c: Don't be a puzzy, move to INSANE-VILL!!!!!
Guy_D

Con

My experiment did not work out well. I mistakenly ate my notes because they looked like pizza. Oh well. In any event, I will scramble up my own pictorial that will make you want to PAY to live in my utopia.

For the guys out there, I give you...

 photo 1dd28655-78ad-4ad5-895a-7b46ca54cb4f_zps62f1b7e3.jpg

There better be 72 of them! It was a package deal.

For the ladies?... FREE lifetime supply for your man!

 photo viagra1_zps5cf4e415.jpg

Nuff said... Next round...
Debate Round No. 2
jdog2016

Pro

Play this song in the background while reading: it will show you how frikin' Insane Insane-Vill is:

Ok everyone. I think we all see the problem here. I have listed six freaking amazing things, and said that there is sooo sooo much more! My opponent however has listed......2.


Can I just say sir, if you ever mover to Insane-Vill, you would probably be shot in the FACE BY A ZOMBIE HOLDING A CAT LAUNCHING GUN, ABOUT TO BE EATEN BY AN EXPLODING ALIEN DINOSUAR! ..............and cowboys......


Anyhow.........


What god despising filth the world has become. Hold on a sec, Ima go shove my index fingers into my eye's, as instructed by this song.

0.0
'.;':'.
'.;'.;'<<<<<<<blood


Other things that make Insane-Vill more frickin' isane than everything:

1. It doesn't even make sense bro

Holy sh!t!! Why would you NOT move to Insane-Vill. We literally have everything!
  1. Dog's-got 'emDog poop-got that
  2. Dead Dong's-keep em frozen for ya
  3. Opp's I mean dog's, but we do have frozen dongs as well.
  4. Bags-why not?
  5. earphones-Hells ya!
  6. Paper-You bet 'cha!
  7. Chips-Lots of 'em!
  8. Book-Their gay, but yes
  9. Dildoes-sure thing


2. Viagra

In your Utopia, you have women, and Viagra. That one will work out just like Charie Sheen saying he's sober, and a feminist. You see, what will happen, is that you will inevitably overdose on viagra, and have an infinite erection. Hence, this will scare the living sh!t out of the women, and they will all leave you. Now, you are alone with an insanely erect d!ck. We all now what has to be done at this point............

C: My Opponent has given me littel to rebute,(probbably because he's a puzzy) however, I have rebuted, and given more INSANE reasons why my utopia is better.

VOTE
PRO












...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸

........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........'...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(

Bro Fist :D














Guy_D

Con

Let's review my opponent's latest argument.

1."Insane-Vill? (Or Utopia) Getting shot in the face by a Zombie." Wow, can"t wait to get shot in the face!
2."ABOUT TO BE EATEN BY AN EXPLODING ALIEN DINOSUAR!" What??!! Too nonsensical to count as funny.
3."Holy sh!t!! Why would you NOT move to Insane-Vill. We literally have everything!" Right, and when you die, Your spot is saved and you simply respawn.
4."Dog's-got 'emDog poop-got that"
5."Dead Dong's-keep em frozen for ya"
6."Opp's I mean dog's, but we do have frozen dongs as well."
7."Bags-why not?"
8."earphones-Hells ya!"
9."Paper-You bet 'cha!"
10."Chips-Lots of 'em!"
11."Book-Their gay, but yes"
12."Dildoes-sure thing"

Had enough? At best, I would categorize the above incoherent rant as a place somewhere between a severely bastardized version of Dystopia and Fu*king Hell.

My opponent stated in the opening round that "This debate is to be judged completely on who's arguments were the most entertaining" LOL, entertaining to whom?... Yourself? Sorry, but that doesn't count.

You've did most of my work here by practically disqualifying yourself from the debate. I digress...

My Utopia is calm, peaceful, and without a worry in the world. Now if I can only get rid of that gawd awful tuna smell!
Debate Round No. 3
jdog2016

Pro

Well friends, I have to say that after my opponents last argument I would be the obviouse winner of the "Who had better conduct?" tab in the voting. Actually, my opponent didn't give an argument, but instead copy-pasted my argument, and then said,

Had enough? At best, I would categorize the above incoherent rant as a place somewhere between a severely bastardized version of Dystopia and Fu*king Hell.

My opponent stated in the opening round that "This debate is to be judged completely on who's arguments were the most entertaining" LOL, entertaining to whom?... Yourself? Sorry, but that doesn't count.

You've did most of my work here by practically disqualifying yourself from the debate. I digress...

My Utopia is calm, peaceful, and without a worry in the world. Now if I can only get rid of that gawd awful tuna smell!

Sir, just because your sense of humor consits of calling people bastards, and making jokes about tuna, doesn't mean you have to be a downer.

MOVE TO INSANE-VILL. WERE WE WILL TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN!!!

Oh and also, the "Dildoes-sure thing" part. Well I apologize for that, but I called your mom earlier, and she said those were your faves. Perhaps she mispoke, and meant to say tampons.....IDK.

I would now like to tell you about the creator of Insane-Vill
Mithridates VI, to show how truely badass Insane-Vill is.

Have you ever heard of this guy?

No?

Well, he one of my greatest ancestors. I take after him. This guy was probably the most hardcore threat to Roman superiority since the good old days of Hannibal Barca bodysurfing across the Tiber River with rafts made out of corpses of dead Roman citizens and then fvcking everything he encountered on the other side. Like I said, I take completely after him, and surf with dead bodies frequently. Known as The Poison King, Mithridates opposed three of the greatest generals from the most powerful civilization in the world, successfully fvcked with Rome for over 40 years, conquered lands spanning across Central Asia and Eastern Europe with an armada of badass, scary as he1l scythed war chariots. He was so fvcking hardcore that he made himself completely immune to all forms of poison through a daily training regimen consisting essentially of eating lethal doses of poison and then not fvcking dying from it!

My ancestor, the Poison King was from a weird, place called Pontus. Mithridates's mom was a Syrian princess too so honestly who the fvck knows what the he1l was going on with that place anyways. Ambiguous ethnography aside, we know that Mithridates assumed the throne of Pontus in 120 BC at the age of 12, when his mom assassinated his dad, seized power as regent, and sent Mithridates running off into the forest to hide before some aszhole with a sword showed up and sent him on a one-way trip to visit his dad. Mithridates hid out in the freezing, ultra-dangerous mountains of northern Turkey, training hard in horsemanship, swordfighting, and javelin throwing, learning dozens of languages, and toughening himself up with one-armed pull-ups, biceps curls, and baconized wheat grass protein shakes. As soon as he was done with his badazs training, Mithridates marched into his rightful throne room, imprisoned and executed his own mother, had his only brother killed by a hitman. He then seized sole power of the Kingdom of Pontus, and prepared to convert a relatively small Kingdom in Asia Minor into an Empire that would rival Rome.

Starting with his days chillin' in the forest punching rocks and wrestling bears, Mithridates got the excellent, Princess Bride-style idea of developing an immunity to poisons by ingesting small amounts of lethal toxins every morning with his orange juice, then slowly ratcheting it up to the point where he was bombing arsenic keg stands and freshening his breath with cyanide mouthwash. His obsession with poisons was so intense that the longest-lasting impact of his life is concoction he invented known as the Antidotum Mithridaticum, a bizarre antidote cocktail of 54 ingredients ranging from acacia and cinnamon to duck blood and something called "Gallic Nard" that I really hope isn't what I think it is. Throughout his reign, Mithridates perfected the recipe by testing it out by giving it to convicted criminals and prisoners of war and then seeing if they died from lethal doses of poison. This sounds fvcked up, but this sh!t is so crazy that the Antidotum Mithridaticum was still being used as a poison antidote in England until 1745 and in Germany and France until about 1900. As in 1900 AD, roughly two thousand years after this duck blood smoothie was invented.

Oh yeah, and if you think this was all just some paranoid delusional bullsh!t that seemed to be pretty common with ancient kings, think again – Mithridates survived at least two assassination attempts during his 57-year reign. In both cases he had the perpetrators tortured to death, then executed their entire extended families. That is some badasz shiznit bro!

This is the first thing that comes up
when you Google "Gallic Nard".

Already fairly wealthy thanks to his control of trade on the Black Sea, Mithridates hired a sh!t-ton of mercenaries from across Asia and Europe, kitted his forces out with everything from Scythian horse archers and scythed war chariots to Macedonian-style infantry phalanxes, and went to work making sure the rest of the world never forgot where the hell Pontus was and what the fvck he was all about. He intervened in a war in Crimea, ended up conquering the region for himself, then took both warring countries into his empire as protectorates! Next, he kicked the Scythians in the ball sack, destroyed the armies of Colchis, captured territory all around the Black Sea, and married his daughter off in a political alliance with the king of Armenia.

He marched his army into Cappadocia, and, just as the Cappadocian army was lining up against him, one of Mithridates's assassins shanked their king in the asz in front of his entire army and the Cappadocians quit the field, surrendered without a fight, and kinda just sat there with their mouths open like dumbazses while Mithridates put his 8 year-old son on the throne. HIS SON WAS 8 AND WAS A KING. That makes me a prince. I think.....

Anyhow...

When the Cappadocians rebelled against this King Joffrey bullsh!t a few years later and nominated a replacement king, Mithridates had that guy poisoned to death without even getting out of his gold-plated recliner.

FVCK YES!!

Well all this conquering and nonstop aszkicking and slaugtering enemy warriors into chowder with spinning scythe chariot blades understandably got Rome a little nervous, so they eventually got around to sending a guy named Manius Aquilius out there to get this Poison King bullsh!t under control. Aquilius casually rode out there with five legions and told Mithridates to get the hel! out of Cappadocia and a couple other places and settle down with this massacre/killing thing. Mithridates wasn't really looking to fvck with Rome just yet, so he said, "yeah, sure thing," (not literaly what he said, but just stfu) and withdrew his forces back to Pontus. Aquilius, thinking he was the biggest sh!t ever, started power-tripping balls, installed Roman-allied governors in the area, shut down economic trade, blocked the entrance to the Black Sea, and stupidly acted like a total d!ck to the most powerful ruler in Asia Minor.(Mithridates six)

Mithridates asked Aquilius to reconsider. Aquilius told him to fvck off.

Wrong answer.


Ok fvckers, that's how we're going to play it, huh?
HERE'S A SCYTHED WAR CHARIOT, FOOL!!

Just think, if the creator of Insane-Vill was this badass and insane, then think of how much you would trip ballsack if you moved there!!!

C:
<>My opponent has not yet even told us wtf his utopia is.
<>He has not said why his utopia is better than mine, but has only said I have a sh!tty sense of humor.

The resolution stands, and is impenetrable. My Utopia is better than my opponents.

VOTE
PRO

Sources are in comments.

Guy_D

Con

I'll tell you what utopia really is like? It is a place in the here and now. Thats right! You can actually live there if you want. It is the result from an idea, by people you'll most likely vote for over and over and over again. In fact, those same people have been ruling their Utopia for the last forty years. I'll give you a little taste of what to expect when you move there.

 photo brownstonewithdog02.jpg

 photo BarhamLookingNorth1-1.jpg

 photo BarhamStreetShipWreck1.jpg (Thats ma boat!)

 photo BurnedOutCarRear.jpg

 photo DestroyedApartment1_closeup.jpg

 photo EastSideHome401.jpg

 photo FlatCar.jpg

 photo wwwwwww_zps7a216f74.jpg

Its a Liberal Utopia, but I think you'll settle in nicely!
Debate Round No. 4
jdog2016

Pro

No you idiot!! That was New Mexico.
This is DETROIT. Basically, my opponents utopia is Hell. (By the way, would you sell that boat to me?)



Now tell me audience, what utopia would you choose given these two? Definitely Detroit(or Hell).
But that is only because, you've forgotten. INSANE-VILL has everything!

Liberals
Communists
Democrats
Repubs.
The whole shindig.

Oh ya, and we have burning pits of hell as well.


I have one thing that I bet you don't have! A fat azz!! VIDEO


Ok, lets re look over this. My goal, overall, is to show my utopia is better than my opponents........My opponents utopia is Detroit..........That is neither imaginative, nor cool bro. I live in Detroit, and I take offense. lol Jk.
But no seriously broseph. I will fvcking fvck b!tch azz sh!t up if need be. I will fvcking punch a baby!







Guy_D

Con

Last round. While the exchange was kind of fun... I've come away feeling a little dumber than before I registered at this site.

Good people of DDO, I've offered up a couple version of Utopia for you to choose from. Sure, one looks like Hell, but so what, you're going to end up there anyway.

My opponent has left you with a video game. Complete with images and commentary that would scar the mind forever!

Hope this exercise in stupidity doesn't get me ran off the site.

Thank you, and VOTE CON!
Debate Round No. 5
11 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by watevas808 3 years ago
watevas808
xD that was ridiculous well least I learned what are the ideal utopias for a masochist and a nympho.
Posted by Guy_D 3 years ago
Guy_D
Are you really from Detroit? I am.
Posted by jdog2016 3 years ago
jdog2016
because i love u massive. (no homo)
Posted by CrimsonArchitect 3 years ago
CrimsonArchitect
I could have did something way better! *Flips Table*
Posted by MassiveDump 3 years ago
MassiveDump
http://www.debate.org...

Why does your round 2 argument look so smashingly similar to mine?
Posted by Guy_D 3 years ago
Guy_D
Yeah we do, but thats not the point. We're just having fun with the randomness.
Posted by FrackJack 3 years ago
FrackJack
Do you guys even know what a utopia is?
Posted by Guy_D 3 years ago
Guy_D
Almost forgot...

Round two Disclaimer:

Most common viagra side effects may include: headache, flushing of the face, sneezing, dyspepsia, prolonged erections.
Less common side effects that may temporary also occur are palpitations, photophobia, temporary visual changes like blurring of vision, increased light sensitivity, a tinge of vision with blue color.
In rare cases, patients taking Viagra or other PDE-5 inhibitors such as Cialis or Levitra reported a sudden decrease or loss of vision in one or both eyes. It is not possible to determine whether these events are related directly to these medications, to other factors such as high blood pressure or diabetes, or to a combination of these. If you notice sudden decrease or loss of vision, stop taking PDE-5 inhibitors including Viagra and contact your doctor immediately.
In very rare cases heart attack, stroke, irregular heart beats, and death have been reported in patients taking Viagra. Most of these patients had heart problems before taking this medicine. It is not possible to determine whether these incidents were directly related to Viagra.
In very rare cases, men have reported an erection that lasts many hours. If you ever have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours you should call your doctor immediately . If not treated instantly, permanent damage to your penis could occur.

Enjoy!
Posted by jdog2016 3 years ago
jdog2016
no it's fine, you merely said how you will come about your argument.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by DebaterAgent 3 years ago
DebaterAgent
jdog2016Guy_DTied
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Total points awarded:07 
Reasons for voting decision: ...
Vote Placed by MassiveDump 3 years ago
MassiveDump
jdog2016Guy_DTied
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Total points awarded:70 
Reasons for voting decision: Countering Dumbass McDumbass down there.
Vote Placed by Juris_Naturalis 3 years ago
Juris_Naturalis
jdog2016Guy_DTied
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Total points awarded:07 
Reasons for voting decision: Con didn't seem as ridiculous I guess.