The Instigator
brian_eggleston
Pro (for)
Winning
5 Points
The Contender
KingDebater
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

Britain should sell Scotland to the highest bidder

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
brian_eggleston
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/16/2014 Category: Politics
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 964 times Debate No: 44068
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (8)
Votes (1)

 

brian_eggleston

Pro

Alex Salmond, First Minister of Scotland wants his country to be fully independent of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and on 18th September this year a referendum is due to be held to decide its future. [1]

But why wait? Why not let the ungrateful haggis-chomping, bagpipe-playing, tartan-loving, whisky-drinking, caber-tossing, salmon-fishing, Loch Ness Monster-spotting, grouse-shooting, penny-pinching, kilt-wearing golfing gingers separate from Britain without any further delay? Why not sell Scotland off to the highest bidder before they have their referendum?

The British government should get a decent price for it: a report by the Scottish Government's Fiscal Commission Working Group - a group of renowned international economists, including two Nobel Prize winners - concluded that "by international standards, Scotland is a wealthy and productive country". [1] Indeed, Scotland's oil and gas reserves are worth USD2.5 trillion alone. [2]

But who would buy it?

China is the world's biggest energy consumer and must import 60% of the crude oil it needs. [3] They also like golf and Scotland is the home of golf. In addition, they like whisky and Scotland is the home of whisky. Furthermore, they like beef and Scotland is the home of the world famous Aberdeen-Angus beef cattle. Since China has reserves of USD3,387,512,975,177 it is one of the few countries that could afford to pay up front in cash. [4]

Then there's Israel. There"s not enough space in Israel for all the Jews which is why they keep building illegal settlements in Palestine. [5] This wouldn't be necessary if they bought Scotland and shipped their surplus Jews over there.

Or maybe Spain and Argentina could club together and buy it? Both these nations of Spanish-speaking greasers are desperate to get their filthy, swarthy little hands on British land - Gibraltar in the case of Spain and The Falkland Islands in the case of Argentina [6] - so Scotland, wgich would be divided in two, would make an ideal joint purchase for them.

Britain has no written constitution [7] and what the Queen in Parliament enacts is law. This means that Parliament, using the power of the Crown, enacts law which no other body can challenge. [8]

Therefore, there is no reason why Parliament, with the guaranteed acquiescence of the Queen, could not sell Scotland to the highest bidder and divide the proceeds between the loyal citizens of England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and that is exactly what they should do.

Thank you.

[1] http://www.scotland.gov.uk...
[2] http://www.yesscotland.net...
[3] http://edition.cnn.com...
[4] http://data.worldbank.org...
[5] http://www.amnesty.org...
[6] https://www.cia.gov...
[7] http://www.republic.org.uk...
[8] http://www.ucl.ac.uk...
KingDebater

Con

I agree with Brian that Britain needs to get rid of Scotland - and quick. Last year, they all put on a Country fair where all the residents of Scotland celebrated their abnormal hair colours and even took pride in it, and it was so laughable that it was lead by a comedian [1].

Just recently, a Scottish armed robber turned up at a bookmakers and saw it as a joke [2]. My point is that no country would want to buy Scotland, so we should trick one into having Scotland, rather than selling it.

A good place to do this would be at the G20. You can just imagine David Cameron saying "Argh yes, Murkel, yes. This is what we in Britain call a gift. I err arrgh think that you'll be more than happy of it. Want a game of angry birds in a minute?", and then Angela's translater would say (translated into English from German) "Wanna Gift, you angry bird? We brits love this sort o' thing, we do!".

You could do this by sneaking Scotland into a box. Sure, whoever ends up with having to keep Scotland may riot, but at least we'll be happy, right?

Also, nobody would want to buy Scotland because the only Scottish person anyone knows (although he's sometimes British) is Andy Murray, somebody who makes a living by hitting a small green ball with a tennis racquet. With a reputation like that, you wouldn't blame other countries thinking Scotland was a no-good useless place. As Milton Jones put it [3], Andy Murray isn't beneficial to anyone, really.

Moreover, why would we want to sell Scotland? I'm sure that we don't want all the other countries knowing that we actually own Scotland, let alone us being desperate enough to try and sell it. Another reason would be that Scotland have been on their best behaviour recently, fires in Scotland have been at their all-time low ever since the Scots have wanted independence and the idea of Scottish independence started appearing in the news [4].

But then again, perhaps Scotland will drift up into the North pole or something [5].

For more information on David Cameron's love of angry birds, visit our website [6].

Thank you.

Those scots, eh? Cuh.
Can you believe that in one period of History in Britain, people actually wanted to look like this [7]?

Sources
[1] http://www.bbc.co.uk...
[2] http://www.clyde2.com...
[3] http://youtu.be... (Mock the Week, Season 12: Episode 9)
[4] http://www.scotland.gov.uk...
[5] http://www.snh.org.uk...
[6] http://www.bbc.co.uk...
[7] http://www.purgatory.net...
^ (It's about Gingers, so Brian may find this source useful too)
Debate Round No. 1
brian_eggleston

Pro

I would like to thank KingDebater for accepting this challenge but I must challenge his assertion that Scotland is worthless.

If nothing else, Scotland is a fine tourist destination where visitors can expect some jolly banter in one of the many pubs and bars, please review the YouTube clips for more details.

And think of the money. As a rule of thumb a company is sold for three times its annual turnover. If Scotland is sold it might be useful to value it similarly. The annual GDP of Scotland is GBP150 billion which gives a selling price of GBP450 billion. [1]

So, if this amount was divided between the 58 million men, women and children who live in England, Wales and Northern Ireland [2} we would each receive GBP7,758.62 - that's GBP31,034.00 - enough money to buy a brand new Range Rover Evoque [3] or a BMW Z4 Roadster [4] if you already have a family car. Or, if you prefer, 2,698 70cl bottles of whisky from Tesco's. [5] It seems to me that it is worth the money to risk the wrath of the Scots by selling them off to the highest bidder.

Finally, the Prime Minister's fondness for playing Angry Birds just shows how out of touch this over-privileged Old Etonian toff is with the general public, who are now all playing Candy Crush Saga instead.

Thank you.

https://www.youtube.com...
https://www.youtube.com...

[1] http://www.scotland.gov.uk...
[2] http://www.ons.gov.uk...
[3] http://www.whatcar.com...
[4] http://www.whatcar.com...
[5] http://www.tesco.com...
KingDebater

Con

The last time a Scot won the Nobel Prize was in 2013 when Dr Higgs discovered the Higgs-boson particle [1] - that's like, so last year!

Brian waddles on about how much Scotland is 'worth', but to put that into perspective, that could buy tonnes of cabbage from Tesco - yuck! [2] Nobody wants cabbage just like nobody would want to buy Scotland.

I think that this site also explains very well why Scotland wouldn't be willingly bought or bidded on -> [3].

Brian also provides some clips from the Youtube site, however both of these videos carry tags such as "classic" and "vintage", i.e: That's how scotland used to be! Everything up north is worse now, so much so that even the weather now reflects the current situation [4].

I still can't see how you'd be able to sell Scotland, you just can't round them up! Just when you think you've got them, they speed away in one of their streamliner cars [5]! It would be a right job, unlike This -> [6]!

This is the approximate speed of one of their streamliner cars! Woah!

It appears even Brian, well-renouned Youth Expert, isn't up to date with the latest cool games. Right now, everyone is playing Farming Simulator 2014! [7]

Sources
[1] http://www.heraldscotland.com...
[2] www.tesco.com/groceries/Product/Details/?id=259416031
[3]http://www.theworlds.co.uk...
[4]http://www.express.co.uk...
[5]http://www.bbc.co.uk...
[6] ;(The video)
[7]http://www.farming-simulator.com...
Debate Round No. 2
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by brian_eggleston 3 years ago
brian_eggleston
"that's GBP31,034.00 for a typical family of four..."

Fixed.
Posted by zmikecuber 3 years ago
zmikecuber
You forgot "pipe-smoking" lol
Posted by KingDebater 3 years ago
KingDebater
Never mind about that idea, you might need your pen for something.
Posted by KingDebater 3 years ago
KingDebater
You could swap your pen for it.
Posted by ProperJobTractors123 3 years ago
ProperJobTractors123
Not a bad idea as long as the highest bidder is me
Posted by AliveBobcat246 3 years ago
AliveBobcat246
Black people are statistically better at spitting bars than most white rappers. Ergo,
Posted by DudeStop 3 years ago
DudeStop
5$!!! Going once, going twice, sold... I win.
Posted by Haydon 3 years ago
Haydon
I'm seriously trying to oppose this but it is hard to disagree after thinking about it.
If you are going to lose it anyway, may as well profit.
But in saying that, selling it could be a pain in the ___.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by orangemayhem 3 years ago
orangemayhem
brian_egglestonKingDebaterTied
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:Vote Checkmark--0 points
Who had better conduct:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:Vote Checkmark--3 points
Used the most reliable sources:Vote Checkmark--2 points
Total points awarded:50 
Reasons for voting decision: Absolutely loved this debate! Conduct and S/G were broadly equal between both sides. Both sides used a good selection of sources (ranging from the World Bank to YouTube), but I'm narrowly giving the Source point to Pro because of his opening argument, which contained several rock-solid sources (impressive given the nature of his argument). Both sides made me chuckle, but I'm narrowly giving arguments to Pro on the grounds that I felt he made a stronger and more consistent case for how we would still get a decent price for Scotland, even though I completely agree with Con that we'd all love to pretend we didn't own it. I'd love to give points to Con, but alas the somewhat flawed DDO voting system forbids me - a narrow victory for Pro, though it will be somewhat exaggerated by the DDO points system.