The Instigator
AlexisMH
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
briannajudd
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Can you be in love with more than one person

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/12/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 399 times Debate No: 69934
Debate Rounds (4)
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Votes (0)

 

AlexisMH

Pro

Definition of Romantic Love:
A love for another person that involves intimacy, attachment, unconditional love and exhilarating feelings of happiness.

1.Both sides have agreed on a definition of romantic love. Romantic love is a deep love for another person that involves intimacy, attachment, unconditional love, and exhilarating feelings of happiness.
2.There is no limit to how many people someone is allowed to be in love with at once.
3.Some cultures do not obey societal beliefs in following Monogamy. Mormons who practice polygamy are capable of being in love with more than one woman at once.
4.Certain romantic partners may satisfy particular needs, while others do not. When you love someone, there are also going to be things that you do not love about him or her. Your other love might make up for what the other one lacks.
5.Some people prefer to be in open relationships because they find it to be beneficial for staying in love.
6.How you feel about every individual differs from the next. Your relationship with each person can consistent of different mental and emotional connections, but be similar on the level of intensity.
7.Therefore, it is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time.

Non- Controversial:
Premise 1 is non-controversial because this statement is an agreement of the definition. Premises 2 and 6 are non controversial because I feel that my opponent will approve of these general statements.

Controversial:
Premises 3, 4, and 5 are controversial.
Premises 3: Some people may be in polygamist relationships, but not truly be in love with each of their wives. They could just be following orders of their particular religions.
Premise 4: You can argue that if you truly are in love with someone their flaws do not matter to you. Unconditional love does not seek satisfaction within others.
Premise 5: There have been monogamous relationships that have stayed in love without the presences of a third party.
briannajudd

Con

1.Both sides have agreed on a definition of romantic love. Romantic love is a deep love for another person that involves intimacy, attachment, unconditional love, and exhilarating feelings of happiness.
2.The idea of love is something everyone wants
3.Feelings of infatuation are often mistaken for "love"
4.People of faiths where it is custom to marry more than one person may be marrying for reasons other than "Love"
5.Actual love requires a lot of time and maintaining. There is no time to love more than one person.
6.Deep feelings of lust are often mistaken for "love" during a period of time.
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7.Therefore a person cannot love more than one person.
Non-controversial-
(1)It is a definition previously agreed upon. (2,3,6) I feel that they are ideas my opponent will agree to.

Controversial- (4) One could argue that one could learn to love there other partners romantically. (5) One could say that if one puts in the effort it could improve their possibilities of loving more than one person.
Debate Round No. 1
AlexisMH

Pro

1.It is a definition previously agreed upon.
2.I do agree that the idea of love is something that everyone wants.
3.I also agree that people tend to mistake infatuation with love. Love is something that last for a long time, where as infatuation is a short lived passion for someone.
4.Although people may marry someone for reasons besides love, it is possible for them to form a romantic love for that person. In Indian cultures it is common for marriages to be arranged. Even though they might not be in love with the person at first, they could learn to love them.
5.Some relationships take more time and patience"s than others. If your love for someone comes easy, it is possible for you to have time to work on a romantic love with another person.
6.I agree that feelings of lust can seem like love at first. It is easy to become overwhelmed with feelings of passion that can be mistaken for love.
briannajudd

Con

2. I agree although you never specified whether you meant romantically or not.
3. While some cultures and religions do marry multiple partners it"s for that reason only. One does not have to be in love to get married. It"s completely possible for them to love only one partner romantically and the rest as nothing more than friends that just so happen to be bound to them.
4. If one would feel as though they might need multiple partners to sate their needs does this satisfy our definition of romantic love? According to the definition love is unconditional. If two people were in love but one or both partners were feeling some degree of dissatisfaction would they not, according to the definition, try to compensate, or work through it, or either choose to do nothing because they love that person unconditionally?
5. Can you please clarify how your fourth and fifth premise differ.
6. While I do agree that relationships vary between different people. However, it is also possible for other feelings to be mistaken for love, as previously mentioned, and those feelings can be just as intense as you said but that"s entirely different wouldn't you agree? How does one"s ability to form various different connections with various different people effect one"s ability to romantically love multiple people?

In response:
4. It is possible for people of the Hindi faith to learn to love their partners romantically however they have no choice in the matter and forced love often turns out to be something completely different. This is also the case here. If one was arranged three partners it"s dubious that they love all of them equally. More practically, it might be possible for them to just love one romantically and care for the others or not love any of them and just think that they do.
5. I agree that while it may be easier to love some people than others but maintaining that love and that relationship with that person may take the same if no more time than other relationships. If one feels that they have more time to love more people romantically do they in fact love the first person at all?
Debate Round No. 2
AlexisMH

Pro

2. I stated that there is no limit to how many people someone can be "in love" with. In love, meaning romantically involved.

3. I do agree with your argument that although they may be legally married to a person, it does not mean that they are romantically in love with them.

4. Just because you love someone unconditionally, does not mean that they do not have faults. Instead of arguing and trying to change the person into someone you want them to be, it may be easier to just have someone else fill those needs without the burden of unwanted conflict in your other relationship.

5. The difference between my fourth and fifth premises is that open relationships are meant to be beneficial for both parties in the relationship. When people are unhappy in relationships they tend to keep it a secret from their partner and confide in someone else. This causes a lack of honesty, which can result in partners feeling alienated. Open relationships will allow both parties to be completely satisfied without the feeling of guilt or anxiety. My fourth premise does not say whether both parties know the multiple relationships.

6. I am not completely clear on the question you are asking me. There are not that many feelings that can be mistaken romantic love besides lust or infatuation. When I say they have different connections with different people I mean that some relationships are based on certain values that others are not. One couple might have a similar spiritual connection, while another might be a connection based on intellectual similarities.
briannajudd

Con

4. I"m not saying unconditional love erases a person"s faults. Unconditional love means loving someone regardless and learning to live with them. Running to the next person because they can "better fulfil your needs" is not love, unconditional or otherwise.
5. People in unhappy relationships, by our agreed upon definition, are technically no longer in love with each other romantically although they might still care for each other in some way if the situation is as you described. Assuming we are using all relevant definitions of the words: intimacy and attachment, unconditional love already been previously described and happiness being self-explanatory it makes your example and justification for open relationships invalid. Open relationships can be between two people in love with each if that"s the terms of their relationship, this is not what I"m arguing. What I am arguing is their "love" for their other partners besides their main one because most times the point of open relationships is to not have to build and maintain anything with anyone besides the main person and to have sex with anyone they want.
6. To clarify, I"m saying that one"s ability to form different types of connects with different people is directly the cause of infatuation and lust are mistaken for love and I was asking what about one"s ability to do this makes it possible to love multiple people? This, to me, is the reason why one cannot fall in love with more than one person at once because whether one realizes it or not we tend to seek out the same kind of connect over and over and we fall in love with people of that variety. Not everyone can connect with you the same way that special person does or else we would be falling in love left and right. However, instead every connection varies so this prevents such a case.
Debate Round No. 3
AlexisMH

Pro

1.Both sides have agreed on a definition of romantic love. Romantic love is a deep love for another person that involves intimacy, attachment, unconditional love, and exhilarating feelings of happiness.
2.There is no limit to how many people someone is allowed to be romantically in love with at once. Romantic love should not be confused with platonic love, or familial love.
3.Some cultures do not obey societal beliefs in following Monogamy. Mormons who practice polygamy are capable of being in love with more than one woman at once. However, it is possible that although they may have multiple marriages, it does not mean that they are in love with each partner.
4.Certain romantic partners may satisfy particular needs, while others do not. When you love someone, there are also going to be things that you do not love about him or her. Your other love might make up for what the other one lacks.
5.Some people prefer to be in open relationships because they find it to be beneficial for staying in love. Open relationships are beneficial for both parties involved.
6.How you feel about every individual differs from the next. Your relationship with each person can consistent of different mental and emotional connections, but be similar on the level of intensity.
7.Therefore, it is possible to be in love with more than one person at a time.
briannajudd

Con

1.I still agree to the definition of romantic love being, "a love for another person that involves intimacy, attachment, unconditional love and exhilarating feelings of happiness."
2.The idea of love is something everyone wants because an idea is easy and what"s even easier is readily putting labels on things that aren't necessarily being checked for accuracy which the case.
3.Feelings of infatuation are often mistaken for "love"
4.People of faiths where it is custom to marry more than one person may be marrying for reasons other than "Love"
5.Actual love requires a lot of time and maintaining. There is no time to love more than one person.
6.How you feel about every individual differs from the next. Your relationship with each person can consistent of different mental and emotional connections, but not everyone can connect with you the same way that special person does or else we would be falling in love left and right. However, instead every connection varies so this prevents such a case.
7.Deep feelings of lust are often mistaken for "love" during a period of time.
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8.Therefore it is not possible for one to romantically love more than one person

I have agreed and added one or two premises but kept most of my own because I feel that they have been sufficiently defended.
Debate Round No. 4
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