The Instigator
jsammmyg805
Pro (for)
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The Contender
Kunjal4
Con (against)
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Can you love more than one person at a time?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/14/2015 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 390 times Debate No: 68324
Debate Rounds (4)
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jsammmyg805

Pro

1. Love is a romantic relationship, not a platonic. In other words, having an intimate sexual relationship that gives you an intense erotic feeling.
2. Do not confuse this with familiar love: family, friends, pets, overall tangible/intangible experience.
3. It is possible to sexually be attracted to multiple things.
4. Love for more than one thing is innate, and is within our genetics to reproduce with multiple affairs.
5. With divorce at a high rate, it is common to remarry again"to love again.
6. Love for more than one person builds intimacy between both lovers. In other words, when finding a love, past experiences draw one to avoid repeated mistakes.
7. Loving more than one person gives you extended freedom. In other words, rather than sticking to one person, you can experience varieties of different characters (people)
8. Loving more than one person expands you horizon. What this means is multiple loves will grant one to experience what they provide as an individual.

Controversial: There are possible of STD's and so forth. Furthermore, the love of more than one person will cause havoc for not only you, but also the countless heartaches. Lastly, there will be a significant disclosure from everyone that you have hurt.

Non-controversial: Having love for one person ideally creates a bond. It has a positive improvement for a future family. Also, there are great loves that have lasted a life time that show the true nature of marriage.

Conclusion: Loving more than one person can be a great deal for a person. The free thinking and open-mindedness can be important to future growth, and allow you to see multiple personalities. Life in general is suppose to be fun, and experience with different people. In conclusion, loving more than one person will be a huge impact to you and to the other people you have affected throughout your life.
Kunjal4

Con

1)Yes, indeed love is a romantic relationship and sex is a great desire to it. But lust and love are two different things. One who is craving sexual desire and feel the need to go out and find better things, when they already have a great person in front of them, will never be satisfied. It is a craving that comes strong at a certain point , but when you obtain it, you no longer feel the need for it.
2) Yes, agreed. There is a great difference between familiar love and romantic love. One can love their son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father, at the same time.
3) It is possible to be ATTRACTED to multiple people, but that does not necessarily mean you love the person. It is more of a physical attraction and there is no commitment involved with having a crush on someone.
4) Humans are born to reproduce. We are animals but I don't believe it is necessarily the case of being in love. A lot of times, humans "sleep around" and accidently have children, in which they have no desire afterwards to stay with the person or support the child. Given a scenario, if going through a break up, one might feel the need to go around dating other people or "sleeping around" as a way of overcoming the situation, but it does not mean that the person they are "sleeping around" with holds any value to them. They can simply be using the person just to get over their past and to try and move on.
5) One can remarry again and love again. I agree with this point that not all intimate relationships last but that could be the cause of many reasons. People fall out of love or it could be because of problems with in themselves or even family conflict. Some people get married for reasons in their favor, for example to get documents. That does not necessarily come to the bottom line that the person married the person from love, it could be forceful as in arranged marriages. Even if you love one person, you are forced to marriage another because of cultural traditions and practices.
6) I agree with not being able to commit to one person at an early stage in life. I do agree that one will not know what is right or not right for him/her by just being with one person. At an early stage or teen years, people do go through multiple relationships and have to experience different situations in order to not repeat same mistakes again. People do learn by experience and know better from worse after actually learning from their previous partners.
7) Being with more than one person is fun and full of excitement for a while but that really to can get old. 95% of married couples reach the age of 65 rather then people who are single. The value is then switched around to quantity over quality.
Love should have a special meaning and commitment between two people, and it holds value. You are giving yourself the opportunity to grow with one person and be comfortable with the flaws and have trust.
8) Love triangles are often the main affairs when it comes to this. You put yourself out to be committed to one person, and date someone else at the same time. Most of the time, the third person is ruled out and has no sense in what is going on. But being in a love triangle is that one person doesnt feel the want to let go of their partner, and you may be able to share some lust, but then guilt starts to come in. The third person may just be temporary, in which again, that is not love. That is a sexual desire.
Debate Round No. 1
jsammmyg805

Pro

1.You speak of love, as it was an abomination. However, lust works hand in hand with love. Love can be coroneted with the lust, which means passionate affairs. Like I mentioned, love "does" hold a sexual desire. And so, love and lust are one and the same. As for "having a great person in front of you", I disagree with that, how can one know assume they have the" perfect one", when in reality there are billions of possibilities that they can experience. Overall, this is not a valid argument, since there are over 8 billion people and continuing, one person should not be qualified as "the great person".
2.You make a good point, however to support my claim further, using the example "love at first sight" may qualify as a love. Although this is not certain, love is subjective. Moreover, attraction as you mention can be a formula that too qualifies as love. Finally, attraction is subjective. For you to say that love is just attraction does not indicate that love does not exist.
3.You may have a point, however I do not think that people should only stick to one person. That being the case, as animals we are bond to feel the need to spread our genes. It may be the case that we are acting on impulse; however, what if it may be that we fall in love with someone that we casually sleep with? Wouldn"t it be the case that I am in love with someone I causally slept with? Nevertheless, you miss the point that love and reproduction can be in the same category. Furthermore, sex between animals, as I mentioned is within our genes, and it must be within us to see multiple people. Now, when speaking about people sleeping around to get a form of satisfaction"Yes, that may be the case. Again, if the process of casual sex does occur having affection for a person can grow, possibly even growth for love.
4.You speak of people marrying for other reason besides love. In a since people do not really marry out of love. This could be the case, but it could also be the case that people marry because they love each other"that goes without saying. Nevertheless, marriage has such a high rate of divorce. The number one reason for divorce is that people fall out of love, that"s a given. But that doesn"t mean people out their chips down. They grab a new deck and continue playing. What this means is that people don"t settle just with one love they continue in search for another. Thus, concluding that its possible to love more than one person.
5.Experiences are everything, a person alone does not experience much without the other. That being said, experiences with multiple people grows you to prepare for fortune and misfortune.
6.Here"s a fact: people do not want to grow old with anyone. That being the case I assume you don"t want to see your love one die.
Kunjal4

Con

1) I do agree with your point that one cannot know what a good person or a bad person is, like I said previously. Love and lust do play in the same category but not if one has no intention of being with them in the future, or to at greatest, decide to build a family with them. Not saying that everyone does end up getting married to their significant other, wanting lust from one single person and then wanting it from several different people are two different cases. That is when it doesn't hold much value nomore and is just for self satisfaction and entertainment.
2) Love at first sight usually comes down to physical appearance which is something you see. If one were to go more ahead an take a next step in actually making a further move and then being more then strangers then that is completely different. People more or less do choose who they want to spend time or be with, so yes one can start off as being physically attracted and that can LATER turn into love.
3) You saying that the more casual sex one can have with someone gains more attraction. Now when you think of it, the chances of having sexual intercourse with one partner is more consistent and constant then having it with multiple different. It is more available and people are usually more comfortable being intimate with a same person rather then having to sit and wonder and wait to know if someone else is going to come over and provide the satisfaction. So you saying "having casual sex can help grow into love" then wouldn't sticking to one person be more of a greater chance rather then a different person a day ?, in which you might not even be in intercourse more than once.
4) People do search for new love but sometimes they might even start to settle for the same characteristics in the next person. They will often start to compare their past and present and think back to good or bad times. They sometimes try to find one person in the next, not saying all. Marriages are a committment and usually divorce happens because they do not feel the same for the person anymore, fell out of love, abuse, or other countless problems. One who moves on to find another love and remarrying is completely different from actually loving two people at once. It often means that they are over and want next. So they arent necessarily loving two people at once.
5) People who are in love often would not want to see their significant other to die before them, but then growing old together is saying they actually were able to be with one another. The phrase is vague because in some cultures, divorce is not an option. Even if you are unhappy, because of customs, you have to stick to that one person to keep the honor of your family and culture. That doesnt mean that you loved the person, they were just forced to be with them.
Debate Round No. 2
jsammmyg805

Pro

1.Again, lust and love are the same! Just kidding, you made a point. Reflecting on my own experiences, I can see that I have multiple lust rather than love. But in my defense, given the chance that I had the opportunities with all my "lust", what if, I grow an attachment to all? Although they are all different, I could be in love with all of them similarly. That doesn"t label my as a luster, but rather as a lover.
2.What if there is a high possibility, or chance that love could be a first hand experience. In simple terms, again, love is subjective. Your point of view could be different than the guy who met the woman of his dreams walking down the street. Maybe he could have known from the moment he saw her he fell in love. There is a chance. Maybe a slime chance, but still that"s a chance.
3.Sticking to one person is BORING! Why not adventure out and be in love with the world instead of just one person. Do not confuse this with promiscuity; rather, take it as an opportunity to see what you are missing. Loving multiple people will get you to outgrow the pain you receive by having one person. You love multiple people for the way they see the world, and the way they put you into it. Everyone likes the idea of being loved my multiple people.
4.No they could still love their first partner, but their partner my not love them back. Although they may find someone new, there still remains a figure of the past; that if only they had one more chance they are willing to jeopardize their current love for the previous love. However, they may hold onto their new love just the same as their old one.
5.There is no honor in marriage. That is, the longevity in a marriage does not reconcile loves advantage. Love is vague. It could be the remaining of an old flame, and a new one. Yet different, they can hold the same title. Marriage is a sin, and it never last. That way, if we love multiple people at the same time we can have a better of saving love instead of wasting it with marriage.
Kunjal4

Con

1) Love and lust can get into more then that. Usually, not all, men tend to fall for women based of face and physical attraction while women go based more on how a man can support her in the future and help raise her kids. Usually couples that got together just for lust, so not last long because as people grow old, lust downgrades. If two people were to fall in love with a deeper meaning of rather than just lust (not saying it does not happen in love; in which I think the chances of it are higher of intercourse when with one person), they would probably have a longer relationship. Later in the future, that person would have more to offer the partner, and they will have a connection based on common interests and from their growth with one another.
2) Falling in love with a certain person at first sight isn't concrete sad that they will love the person. Yes definitely if as I said before, they could develop into lovers. The girl of your dreams could pass you every day and you can have never noticed. Love is more or so is accepting someones ways and then vice versa, so one can't conclude a whole conclusion of definitely knowing, loving, having kids, and getting married to one another from just spotting someone. It is more of a fantasy that society is living by. If you say that someone can't be with just one person, then how can someone figure out a whole life with someone who they only knew for 10 minutes at first sight?
3) "Sticking to one person" is subjective too. People do like to be loved by multiple people but I wouldn't say that it means that they want to spend their life and be with them. From experience, yes it would be nice to be able to have someone else love you right after a heart break but wouldn't that go back to using someone else to getting over the previous person rather then actually loving them. Most of the time, thats just a distraction humans use to get out of their comfort zone.
4) I agree that the person may not love them back. But just as they may going into the future, they are holding back of wanting someone who is completely different from the past. They often still look for some similarities because people usually have some standards of who they would even want to be with. I do agree with "they might hold onto their new love just the same as their old".
5) "Marriage is sin. It never last" is not true because they're countless marriages that have lasted without one cheating on their partner and they have lived a great life, in example my grandparents who have been married since they were 17 and are now in their 80s. Even though time doesn't measure love, it is a pretty long commitment to one person. Not wanting to marry someone doesn't mean that they are wasting their time if they got themselves into it, it could mean that they do not believe in it for financial reasons. They may believe that they can never support someone for the rest of their life. Love doesnt necessarily lead to marriage at the end.
Debate Round No. 3
jsammmyg805

Pro

1.Agreed, but I ask why think of the future now? If the case being: from love then happiness. Regardless if you have someone who loves you, then it wouldn"t matter what your past or current situation is. Drawing back to our current argument, lust can turn into love. With a matter of time, peoples feeling change, and the efforts to see the person more than an object can change. Also, their current affairs can too produce the same outlet.
2.Clearly we live in a society that arranges their romance around technology. Everything from who we are to what we look is visible to the world. For you to tell me that I cannot "figure out a whole life with someone who [I] only knew for 10 minutes at first sight?" is wrong. As mentioned in little than 10 minutes I can know a person based on how they present themselves to the world (internet). That being the case, I can love them and feel a form of connection of who they are. In addition, this "love" may go for a verity of people who present themselves by internet.
3.Whether it is a distraction those who let people in are lying to themselves, so who"s really to blame? Consciously they are aware of being in love, but subconsciously they really do have love for the person, but are too scared to be hurt by heartache"defense mechanism? Regardless, as mentioned, being in love by multiple people is embedded in our ego. We desire affection and attention, why then should loving more than one person be viewed in a negative light?
4.Yes, loves will always be remembered. Some may not feel the same as you do, but you may still love the person even if they are not physically there. There is a mental affection, which still counts as a second love.
5.Your grandparents are a great example, but lets look at the years following after the year 1990. Since then, there has been a skyrocket of divorce and adultery since the boom of technology. What that means, is that we have several opportunities to engage with people. Old tradition is dying out, why? Well, it doesn"t make logical sense, and people are finding it easier to love more than just once.
Kunjal4

Con

1) Love and lust are two different cases. Repeatedly wanting to be intake in an intercourse with multiple people is more of a craving then, rather than love.
2)Being with more then one person, usually after a break up doesn"t lead to loving both. It simply can mean trying to climb out of a comfort routine or try and loose feelings for one.
3) Divorce may be at a high rate, but there are many and countless factors to that. The statistics don"t really pin point out every case or make one conclude that it was because people desire to be in multiple relationships or even so because people have a hard time committing to one person.
4)As my partner stated, the more attraction and sexual intercourse one can have with someone, it makes them build a greater bond for that one person. So sticking to one person would help achieve that goal.
5)Pointing out that people don"t stick to one love, and just move on, isn"t that the same as saying they don"t love more than one person, because they initially moved on. Having some feelings or attachment with your past may be there, but when one moves on, it"s not necessarily as strong as to say it is love. It could more or so just be trying to break a bad habit, in which this would be to try and live without that partner but still think of them here and there
6) herefore, one cannot love more than one person at once.
I do agree with my partner that you wont know what really is the "right person" from one experience, and you may need more than one experience to judge that because you won"t be able to know right or wrong from being with just one person. By exploring others and finding someone who you feel at most comfortable and you can bond with does take a few tries, but I don"t believe wanting ultimate different partners for self-satisfaction or bragging rights to be called love. Yes, one can eventually fall in love with one of these people, but I find it hard to believe that one loves every single person they sleep or have attraction for, in the same intense as they can for just one person. It takes away the value and loyalty, and in reality if you really love someone, why would someone put them to the side and jeopardize to lose them for side entertainment (which I know could be obvious, but still happens a lot in society).
My point is, loving someone is just completely different than having temporary mates whom you choose to have fun with. This goes back to the common love triangles, in which most cases are a confusing and complicated affair. One may just be with someone because they don"t feel some benefits being met, but at the end of the day when they don"t want to lose the other person, doesn"t it mean that they do slightly care more about one person than the other?

As far as building ties with a lover, wouldn"t you rather be married to someone who has been loyal, committed, and someone who you went through the most ultimate with? Wouldn"t someone want their husband/wife to be someone they know in depth and share common traits with, someone they know can finally support each other? Which choosing to be married, it helps bring twice as more income into the house (more or less) rather than of someone living alone. Growing old along with multiple people does get boring at some point in life or the other.
Debate Round No. 4
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