The Instigator
Minddagger
Pro (for)
The Contender
Myphirak
Con (against)

Cheaters should never be forgiven

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Debate Round Forfeited
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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/9/2018 Category: People
Updated: 3 months ago Status: Debating Period
Viewed: 235 times Debate No: 106532
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (8)
Votes (0)

 

Minddagger

Pro

I don't care what anyone says, if someone cheats on you, they will always be a cheater, male or female, these people are downright heartless, I don't care if a few more people do it nowadays, because they still are

when men/women cheats, they aren't trying to "save your relithonship", because cheating is what KILLS IT. if they do it because you haven't given them enough affairs, that does not make them "understandable" it makes them sex loving pigs.

if they cheat on you, they are greedy, so they go off to pleasure themselves not even caring about the person they cheat on. and they have the gall to ask for forgiveness, they don't do it because they love you, they do it because they want their cake and eat it too.

the person they cheated on is the victim, its not the victims fault they didn't "treat them right"

their is no evidence a cheater still loves you, so they deserve to be unforgiven and cast out in the street.
Myphirak

Con

The statement, "Cheaters should never be forgiven" appears to be very broad.

People are stupid, and people make mistakes. I will admit that I have never been cheated on in my life, however I do not believe that a person should be eternally condemned for an action they take. People change. People are dynamic.

The answer to this question lies in what kind of a person you are. It is natural for someone to create a negative stigma and antagonize another person for an action they comitted in the past. If you are reluctant to forgive someone, that does not make you heartless, it simply means that you attatch yourself to the past.

But the claim that "a cheater will always be a cheater" is absurd. It implies that people are static robots that think and act the same throughout the entirety of their lives. There are a million versions of everyone you know.

But this leads into another question: What makes you, you?

If a serial killer loses his memory of comitting murder, is he still the same person? Personality and behavior come from positive and negative reinforcements. If somebody loses their memory, they will not know what they were like a few months or years ago. So are they the same person? Does losing your memory change your identity? And in this case, does the serial killer, who now has no recollection of his actions and behavior, deserve to be held accountable for what he did?

It all depends on what you define as identity.

Going back to the main topic, some cheaters do not deserve to be forgiven. Cheaters who have malicious intents and cheat to get back at someone or make someone jealous are manipulative and don't care how you feel. Do they stay that way throughout their life, however? Some do, some don't. However, it is illogical to simply assume that they will remain a manipulative and immoral person for the rest of their lives.

To sum it up, I do not believe that you should allow one flaw in one's behavior dominate what you think of them in the future. The person who cheated on you 10 years ago is not that same person. And they won't be who they are now in 10 more years, either. If you do allow yourself to succumb to this perception, then you will be a very conditionally loving person.
Debate Round No. 1
Minddagger

Pro

cheating is never a mistake, they willingly accept that one drunk guy/girl who wants an affair while knowing they are hurting their girlfriend/boyfriend,

you don't believe that people shouldn't be punished for an action they take? what if someone gets arrested for murder, shouldn't they be punished, while cheating is more of an offence than a crime, the person who cheated should not get away with it.

just because they could change doesn't mean that you should change the way you think about them, they betrayed you, and you have every right to still hate them for what they did. a cheater is more of an animal than a static robot, and what I mean is while they know what they did is wrong, they just will keep doing it anyway.

a serial killer would still have blood on his hands, he still hurt the family, it isn't what he is like, its about what he did, much like a cheater, so yes, the serial killer should be half accountable.

its the same with the cheaters who have the worst intents, it makes them more unforgivable, because you know their intent is inhumane, and if they do change, so what? the damage they did was already done.

what they did is unforgivable, while some cheaters are dealing with temporary guilt, the victim is dealing with heartbreak, and possibly depression, and that's why they cant change, cheaters only feel bad for their victims for a few days, what makes you think that they deserve recognition?
Myphirak

Con

Cheating is a result of bad judgement. When I said "People make mistakes", I forgot that everyone has a different concept of what a "mistake" is.

This whole debate is about personal beliefs and morality. There are no "facts", no "right" or "wrong". In itself, the concepts of right and wrong are non-existent. They are but abstract human concepts that result from the empathy in people. There is no such thing as "truth". I would like emphasize this as we move forward with this discussion.

Back to my other point, I define a mistake as a flaw in somebody's judgement. Even if somebody is aware that they are making a bad choice and decide to move forwards with an action that harms somebody emotionally or physically, I still consider that a mistake. Not a mistake in the sense that it was an "Oops! Didn't mean to do that!" moment, but rather a mistake in the sense that it was misguided by that person's lack of foresight and perception. Therefore, cheaters, even if they are aware that committing infidelity will negatively impact their partner, are still making a "mistake".

Referring to my other point about Identity, I disagree. If a serial killer loses his memory of committing murder, he is not the same person. He is no longer a serial killer. His intents, his memories, personalities are all gone. He should not be held accountable because he is not the one who committed the crime, it was the version of himself prior to him losing his memory. It is the equivalent of a completely new character coming into creation.

This is simply an exaggerated scenario intended to challenge a person's sense of identity. Now back to the main topic.

Cheaters do not "deserve" anything. Nobody "deserves" to be forgiven for a mistake they have made. People have the right to make the decision of whether or not to forgive someone for an action they have taken. However, I disagree with the prospect of holding that action against them for as long as they live. The concept of identity I have been attempting to convey to you holds true to this scenario. People are constantly rewiring their brain. You and I are not the same as we were a day ago. Those characters are now different versions of ourselves. However, at what point does our perception and thought process change so dramatically to where we are a different entity entirely? Changes of a magnitude such as these could take place in as little as a year. Therefore, eternally condemning someone for a mistake in judgement they committed is absurd, as doing so is the equivalent of accusing two different people of the same action.

Nobody deserves forgiveness, but holding a grudge against someone as long as they live, no matter what the action, is quite bluntly, ridiculous and absurd in my eyes, mainly due to my perception of identity and change. Not only does it hurt the person who you hold the grudge against, you also suffer due to an inability to move on. One of my favorite quotes I've encountered this past week is "The secret to change is not fighting the old, but building the new.". I think that applies to this subject quite well.

An inability to forgive leads to an inability to break the cycle of negativity.
Debate Round No. 2
Minddagger

Pro

Bad judgement still needs to be punished, you cant let some person break your heart and expect to immediately forgive them, justice is an important part of morality, because in order to maintain balance, if someone is uprightly hurt, it leads to people wanting revenge on the person who hurt them.

and if someone emotionally hurts you, wouldn't you want justice, wouldn't you feel negatively about them, that's because of the cheater doing it in the first place, yes their at personal beliefs in morality, that's why we make laws to defend it.

this is similar to that serial killer, even though the serial killer is no longer himself, he still must go to a mental hospital to make sure He's back to normal, and he must serve time for the blood on his hands, which is how the government works

both may suffer, but lets not forget who started the cycle of suffering, cheaters are never punished by the government in most countries for cheating, they don't even send a fee to the cheater, so the only punishment breaking up with the cheater and forgetting about him/her.
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Debate Round No. 3
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Debate Round No. 4
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Debate Round No. 5
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by Fluffcat 3 months ago
Fluffcat
top philosophy on da con side here bois
Posted by Minddagger 3 months ago
Minddagger
*Haedon
Posted by Minddagger 3 months ago
Minddagger
thanks for the criticism on the debate hedon! you too spiffy!
Posted by haedon 3 months ago
haedon
Okay, I think you guys are coming onto this topic all wrong. First, you have no sources and only use personal opinions. A debate is supposed to be a logical argument were facts from both sides are presented and the audience decides what they think is true. Second I think you're completely wrong. If you cheated, and I'm not saying you have or ever will, but if you cheated I think you would want a second chance if you really liked the person. You would want a chance to make it up to them. You need to be empathetic and put yourself in the position of the cheater. Sure they made one mistake but who says that they would make it again. Hell, maybe it would make them love you more because you gave them a second chance. Also if you have a family with the person such as children then you should try even harder to forgive them because you have to consider the people around you it would affect if you just threw the person out.
Posted by Spiffy-Gonzalez 3 months ago
Spiffy-Gonzalez
I agree with you pro, but I'd like to see sources and more articulation in your argument.
Posted by FanboyMctroll 3 months ago
FanboyMctroll
I agree with you, cheaters will always be cheaters, doesn't matter how many times they tell you they won't do it again. It's the same with wife beaters, and gamblers and alcoholics and drug addicts.

People do not change who they are EVER

Anyone denying this, I say 'Just give them a few months"
Posted by EasonFoster 3 months ago
EasonFoster
I agree 100% Trust is everything
Posted by Minddagger 3 months ago
Minddagger
if your wondering why im doing this debate again, i want to try this with a longer period because i want to debate this topic with more rounds
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