Children should be beaten

[This is a joke debate that shall remain a tie]

It shall be my primary goal to defend Maddox's thesis in his article: "Love your kids? Prove it by beating them." First round acceptence. If my opponent tries to pull semantics than the tie rule ceases to be in effect and I win.

His thesis can be summed up by the following image:

The beginning is always the best place to start, and so I shall. My criterion for judging this round will be Maddox himself: that is, this man has risen in status from a lower middle class Armenian[1] to a king[2]. The conclusion that logically follows is thus that whatever parental styles Maddox's parents used are ideal, since this is the single most accomplished man in our generation, an art critic[3], a grammar enthusiast[4], a political pundit[5] a genius[6] among much much more. This is a God among men if there ever was one.

Maddox elaborates on how his parents raised him[7]:

"When I was a kid and I screwed up, my parents beat my @ss. We didn't have a conversation about it. I didn't have a "time out." In fact, I've never even once been grounded in my life. What's the point? " [Censorship mine]. The resolution is already affirmed, because if Maddox says something it must be true.

He argues further that a beating is the only way to teach children a lesson, because other parental punishment methodologies are useless. He criticizes grounding/time outs as useless[8]:

"Send your kid to his room and make him play video games and read comic books all day? Great idea, why don't you take him to a psychiatrist while you're at it so she can pull some disorder out of her @ss to hide the fact that you're a bad parent?" [Censorship mine]

Indeed it seems that beatings are the only effective discipline. One can do no better than to quote Maddox again[9]

"Kids today need a good beating every now and then. If you don't beat your kids when they fall out of line, the next thing you know your son will go off and bang some dude in the @ss just out of spite. You tell them to clean their room, they say "no," you smack them. It's simple; it works."

Maddox is correct on all accounts, and the effects of what our complacency has done to our children is all too clear, and equally disturbing[10]:

" The problem is that kids today think their opinions matter. By not beating your kids, they get a skewed perspective of reality where they start thinking that they have it rough and that they can get away with dying their hair and listening to Insane Clown Posse. That's where you need to come in and put the law down. "

The fact of the matter is that children are worthless, almost as bad as old people who we all know need to be shipped into the sun[11], and it is for this reason that we need to bat children to mold them into worthwhile human beings.

The resolution is affirmed. Spare the rob, spoil the child.

Citations:

1. Maddox, First. I am better than your kids. 1. New York: Gallery Books, 2011. Print.
2. http://www.facebook.com...
3. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...
4. http://maddox.xmission.com...
5. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...
6. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...
7. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...
8. Ibid
9. Ibid
10. Ibid
11. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...

Reagan welcome the thanks.

"The beginning is always the best place to start, and so I shall. My criterion for judging this round will be Maddox himself: that is, this man has risen in status from a lower middle class Armenian[1] to a king[2]. The conclusion that logically follows is thus that whatever parental styles Maddox's parents used are ideal, since this is the single most accomplished man in our generation, an art critic[3], a grammar enthusiast[4], a political pundit[5] a genius[6] among much much more. This is a God among men if there ever was one."

I think George W bush is more godly. Had it rich, became a druggie, became an alcoholic, was NOT beaten, is from texas, became president, was the opposite of a grammar nazi, was kinda over average intelligence, became presdent, AND his VP shot someone. GWB is more godly then Maddox, with no beatings.

"When I was a kid and I screwed up, my parents beat my @ss. We didn't have a conversation about it. I didn't have a "time out." In fact, I've never even once been grounded in my life. What's the point? " [Censorship mine]. The resolution is already affirmed, because if Maddox says something it must be true."



Blue = corperal punishment is banned in schools. California is blue, the song california girls says they are pretty, pretty people rule the earth, therefore child beating is bad.

Also there are many types of abuse, Physical sexual etc. That means a slippery slope occurs, and hitting a kid can lead to sexual abuse too. So a beating might end up like this.
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"He argues further that a beating is the only way to teach children a lesson, because other parental punishment methodologies are useless. He criticizes grounding/time outs as useless"

Again do you want this kid to be raped?

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"Indeed it seems that beatings are the only effective discipline. One can do no better than to quote Maddox again"

Not in liberal states, and liberalsm is the dope.

"Maddox is correct on all accounts, and the effects of what our complacency has done to our children is all too clear, and equally disturbing"

Kids opinions matter! We are the next generation, and being able to it on a desk without bruises on our @ss or a a creeper in our room is better. And again, California agrees with me.

"The fact of the matter is that children are worthless, almost as bad as old people who we all know need to be shipped into the sun"



Kid working for terrorists. Very productive in ending america and spreading muslimism. How is that not productive? Old people, thats a different matter.

GO KIDS! If you vote PRO you vot for jerry Sandsky for not being put in jail.

My opponent drops that Maddox is a god. Uhmmm pretty important reason to vote pro. He just says that George W. Bush is more awesome, yet Bush couldn't even keep approval ratings above 50% and lost to a pack of tic tacs in a scienntific poll about who would be a better pressident (See R2 source 5).

My opponent says california rules. That's false, california sucks. Its filled with gays liberals dirty mexicans and whatever else. ITs gross.

My opponent said that beatings could lead to sexual abuse TURN: Sexual abuse good, keeps the children from spreading their legs too much when they grow up.

He aruges further that kids work for terrorists. TURN: Terrorism good, brings down the evil empire that is the U.S.


You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me

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