The Instigator
Uberdragon
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
CowsAgainstHumanity
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Cows Are Evil

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/26/2014 Category: Science
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,236 times Debate No: 62298
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (0)
Votes (1)

 

Uberdragon

Pro

Hello, and welcome to the the debate over whether or not cows are evil.
Uberdragon (me) is representing the pro side, while CowsAgainstHumanity (my good friend) is representing the con side. Before I begin may I say good luck to both of us.

To begin, I hereby proclaim that all cow bovine things are super evil. Have you ever noticed that your cows are secretly plotting against you? Yes, they are! Your favorite milk creating four legged farm toy wants to shoot you and then rape your sexy wife (or husband). My evidence from this comes from the existence of Mad Cow Disease, which clearly states in the name that all cows are mad. Also I have personally found that all cows have beef and will want to throw hands with you until you die and cows rule the world!
CowsAgainstHumanity

Con

Hello. Main point: cows are great beautiful beings that fully contribute to society. I should know, i am one. First of all, imagine getting milked. Every day, my kind allows our tits to be jerked on until the sweet milk flows out. And we do this for FREE. Imagine, having some cow come up to you every morning, whip out your penis, squeeze it and rub it until the milk flows out, and then processing it and feeding it to anyone and everyone. This is cruel and disgusting, yet because we are great noble beings, we allow this to be done. We cows know how we deserve to be treated, we've experienced it in India. We know we are divine beings and you should be punished to the full extent of the law for murdering us to satisfy your sick cravings for cow! How would you feel if cows killed you, sent you to a butcher, then sent you on down to good old McDonalds for some fat pigs to shove your broken and cooked body down their sick gullets?! I rest my case.
Debate Round No. 1
Uberdragon

Pro

May i respectfully say to my opponent that this debate is over whether or not cow are evil and in no way over how we should treat them.

Next, i will refute my opponents argument. I will speak in first person.
Cows, your argument is invalid. Milk does not come out of the cow's penis, it comes out of the utters, obviously.
To continue, cows like splattering us with their white milk. They know that milk contributes to the development of facial acne and also that some people will die if they drink it. Also, cows are huge. Obviously, if cows are huge then they want to roll over us and destroy our organs so that they can reclaim all the grasses and then form a milk republic founded under the principles of the ancient Bovan republic, so if we start feeling for these cows they will take advantage of that and kill us all. Yes, you too you fat cow. Who do you think you are raping my sexy wife and then eating my children to contribute to you obesity?
Your Turn.
CowsAgainstHumanity

Con

First of all, I realize that this debate is over whether or not cows are evil. My argument was simply proving that cows are good, great, even. Now, you sir, typed about cows wanting to rape your wife for one, and us wanting to roll over and kill you for two. So, there has never even once been an account of a cow raping a human, but there have been several cases of humans raping cows. Second, if we wanted to roll over and kill you, we would've already done it.
Debate Round No. 2
Uberdragon

Pro

You are misinterpreting my argument good lady, for cows have stomped humans before, and also if there are very few accounts of cows that doesn't mean that cows aren't biding their time until they rise up and create another country. I have some more evidence to present today. Firstly, I have been around cows before. They kept yelling moove at me because they were probably hiding their secret weapons under the hay. I also saw a horse when a visited the cows. When i came to see the cows again later I saw that the horse was writhing on the floor and was seriously injured. I went to help the horse but then the cows yelled moove again and then moved their heads down near the grass, most certainly ready to charge if I did not move. I ran as fast as I could through the night as I heard loud footsteps, and I never returned to the vet hospital again. Please Cows, explain why cows would learn english to tell me to moove and kill that innocent horse?
CowsAgainstHumanity

Con

Insolent Human,
Anyone can clearly see that your arguments are ridiculous. I was there when you "visited" that horse, i was there, watching. I saw what you did. I saw things that i can never unsee. I saw you mutilate that poor mammal, and i saw start to chew on its flesh. You are disgusting! Then you blame the results of your sick mental disease on innocent creatures who only harm in self defense, or when provoked. You seriously need to rethink what you are saying here. When you went to "help" that horse, you tried to load it into your truck, then put it under a tarp. Now, pertaining to us telling you to moove, and looking threatening, we were trying to send you a message to leave that poor horse alone. The only thing that stopped you from turning that horse into stew is me sending a message to the police, but then you blamed the injuries the horse sustained, on a good race: cows.
I rest my case.
Debate Round No. 3
Uberdragon

Pro

This is the closing round.
Only two lines allowed for final rebuttal.
Three for conclusion.

I did not go to mutilate that horse, where's your proof you sheep shagger! I was just taking a tour for publicity and to support animal rights. Because all animals other than the self entitled cows should be able to vote.

In conclusion, you should not trust your cow because they want to end you. Eat all the beef you want friends, because if you don't the beef will eat you. The cows have been planning their white rebellion for years now, and we cannot stand for another bovan republic. Join arms with me, for cows are evil.
CowsAgainstHumanity

Con

If you support animal rights, then you shouldn't be so hateful towards cows. Honestly, it brings tears to my eyes. We cows love humans, though some may not love us. Cows are not evil, and I just understand what your hate for us spawns from.

To conclude, I really trust that eventually you'll realize that the bovine race wants to live in harmony with you. We don't hate you, want to rape you, or want to kill you. What we want is to be treated as equals, friends, even. We want to live along side you in a beautiful symbiotic relationship. Thank you.
Debate Round No. 4
No comments have been posted on this debate.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by bladerunner060 3 years ago
bladerunner060
UberdragonCowsAgainstHumanityTied
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Reasons for voting decision: A troll debate, of course. I don't really have an opinion one way or another on this one, and troll debates are almost always entirely subjective, so I'm just nulling it.