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Creative Writing Debate

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/15/2013 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,261 times Debate No: 31341
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (12)
Votes (1)




Round one is for acceptance, the rest are each a chapter.

We will each write a story, the voters will decide which was better.


First round acceptance. I am fuking pumped!
Debate Round No. 1


Not Alone


Chapter One: The Fall of a Superpower

What began as another Spring morning was a day that would change the course of history forever. It was the year 2015, and President Obama had finalized his two major reforms. Using executive orders, he bypassed the Supreme Court, as well as congress, and passed the Gun-Control bill, as well as the Home-Front bill. The latter banned all assault rifles, shotguns, many hunting rifles, and many higher caliber pistols. The second brought home all over seas troops, and I'll admit, it was an emotional day. Families across the country were united, and for a while, most people were content. The gun ban wasn't popular, but the government paid good money for them, and so many people just let their freedoms evaporate. After about 6 months, 30% of the gun owning population still hadn't sold their guns back, and that's where this story begins.

After a final warning, ignored by many, President Obama began his assault on the owners. Sending Army Rangers into homes, firefights could be heard nationwide. The gun owners were no match for the army, but they fought with heart. After roughly 800,000 casulaties, many remaining gun owners gave in, handing over their arms, and returning to their homes. My father was one of those who refused to comply, and is now in a better place. The loss shook my family, but it was to be shaken even worse.

One December 23rd, 2015, Russian submarines torpedoed and sank three major American air craft carriers. Their intentions unknown, Obama reluctantly signed the declaration of war with Russia. My brother had enlisted, and he went overseas to fight for what freedom America still had. "Why did he go?" I would ask my mother. "Because he has to." She would always reply. I sat by my window every night, praying he would come home safely. Then, on April 13th of the next year, we heard the bombings. Running outside, we saw the sky full of smoke, jets boomed across the blue canvas, and atrillery shells exploded everywhere.

My neighbor ran across to our lawn to meet us. "Hey, hey... Did you guys see that? It's like Red Dawn, or something!" I was only 15, at the time, but I had seen my fair share of movies. "The Russians are doing this?" I asked. "That's what the news said." He replied. I looked back up at the sky, it was horrible,but also the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. "Sure would help if we still has our guns, wouldn't it?" I nodded, how would we possibly defend oursleves? Just then, out of sheer irony, my neighbors house exploded with such force that it pushed us both to the ground. He looked at it, shocked. "Wha-wha-what the hell?!?" He screamed. "I just-I jus... I just hooked up my new X-Box!" I looked at him with a annoyed expression. "What?" He yelled, "Your house didn't just get blown to hell!" We ran into my house, grabbed some food, and ran back into the street. "Why would they want to invade, I mean, what did we do?" I yelled. "Like a rifle behind every balde of grass.." he muttered. "What?" I asked. "There was a Japanese Commander back in World War II, he said that it would be stupid to invade America because it was like there was a rifle behind every blade of grass... I guess that the Reds are taking this as an opportunity to hit us while we're down. No guns, what was Washington thinking?" I looked down at my feet, wishing my brother was here, I felt a tear in my eye. "Hey, hey, hey!" he yelled. "You see what's going on? The world has gone to sh*t! This is no time for crying, understand me? Now where is your mom?" I took a deep breath , and looked at him. "I don't know, she should be here." I looked back at the sky. "Well, whatever is going down, we have to be ready for it. You're a soldier now, we don't have time for crying, understand?" I nodded. "Good, let's go downtown, we'll figure out more of what's happening. "We got into his car, and started to drive. "World War 3..." He said. "Sh*t."





Chapter 1

Dan ran down the steps of his house, flipping on the lights as he went past them. None of the lights seemed to fully light up, but he didn't care; he needed to find a phone.

Dan made a dash for his wall phone. It was anchient, same as the house, but it should be able to patch a signal long enough. He flipped it almost too easily and hit 911. Nothing happened. Looking up, he saw the cord was cut.

"No... no. No, no, No NO NO!" Dan ran for the door. He lunged and grabbed for the handle-click. The lock flipped as he touched the cold metal. Sweat ran down his face, soaking his shirt. He turned back around.

An axe layed in front of him, blood stained on the blade. The blood of his wife. Dan's eyes jumped up to look around.

All around the walls, covering furnature, the stairs were a mixture of the same three sentences: There is no escape. Kill yourself. You are already dead.

Dan froze, and felt cold hands gripping his shoulders with an immovable force. He was forced back against the wall, then pushed down onto his chest on the ground. One hand held him down, the other pulled his head back by his hair. Dan's neck hung over the axe.

There was nobody in the room, nobody listening in his neighborhood, nobody to save him, and still Dan screamed as if it was worth anything.

Then deaffening silence passed over the night.


"So what do you think? You don't really believe it is haunted do you?" Josh said on the phone with his wife.

Josh had just moved to California, and bought the cheapest house on the market. Suprisingly it was the nicest one in the develomement. He was sent early by his wife to get it ready for her and their son.

Josh got out of his car and walked to the door, fumbling with the keys on his way. He unlocked and opened the door, walking into the house.

"Okay honney, I just got inside. It is really spacious, but no sign of ghosts."

"Are you sure?" His wife asked.

"Hold on... GHOSTY! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!... Nope, no ghost. Love you, see you when you get here."

"Love you too." She hung up.

"Ghosts," Josh said to himself, chuckling under his breath.

And that was the last straw.
Debate Round No. 2


Chapter II:Manhood

Have you ever tried to write something, homework, a story, a letter, but you couldn't because you were in a car? And you hit bumps, left smudges, and it looked so sloppy you had to just give up? That's how Alex felt. The war fitted truck bounced up and down over the rocky road, as Alex tried to finish his letter. They were soldiers, all of them. And even though they were terrifed, they were all commited. Alex looked around at his peers, he smiled. They were his boys, he thought. He had done alright with them. He gave up writing and stuffed his pencil and paper back into his jacket. Every soldier was armed, some only had pistols, and some had everything you could imagine. This was war, and war takes guns. As you may have guessed, this is in the future, Alex was the boy. He grew into a man, a warrior. He had fought, killed, and nearly died for the flag that he wore on his arm, he fought for freedom. He noticed one of his men shaking, he put his hand on him. "You alright, Private?" The man looked up at him. "Yes-Yessir Leutienant!" He responded. " Alex patted his shoulder, and sat back. The war wasn't going very well. The Russians owned D.C., New York, basically all of New England. Alex grunted, Russians. He despised them, loathed them. He wasn't sure who he loathed more however, the Russians, or the government that had let him down.

The truck rolled to a stop. They had arrived at Bravo Base, the last foothold they had west of the Mississppi. He snapped to attention, "Sir!" He yelled as General Jacobs walked towards him. "At ease, Copperfield." Alex handed the General the laptop he had escorted to them. "Here sir, we got it." The general smiled. "Their weapon...You got it pretty easy, I hear." Alex looked down, "Actually sir, we lost Bradley." The general opened the laptop. "I'm sorry to hear that Leutenient. So explain this whole weapon to me, a nuclear EMP" Alex nodded, "Yes sir, as soon as they turn it on, all our tech will go dead, including our nukes. Once it's operational, we won't have a chance." The general coughed. "Well, we better make sure it doens't become operational. I'm putting you on it Copperfield, you will get to D.C., and stop that bomb from going functional." Alex responded, "Sir, yes sir!" The general walked back towards his tent, Alex followed. "I'm sending you with some SEALs, and a few Rangers, that's all we got left for special task forces." Alex smiled. "That will be more than enough sir." "I thought you would say that." The general said. "The team is all ready for you, they're in the next tent." Alex walked to where the general pointed. When he enetered he found himself in the presence of some of the most feared men in the world. There were about eleven total, four SEALs, and seven Rangers. They were all gearing up, Heavy Vests, Holsters, silencers, everything they thought they might need. "So you're him?" One of the SEALs asked, "Alex Copperfield, war hero." The others looked in awe, several approached him, they shook hands. "I'm David," the first SEAL said, "This is Buck, Isaac, and John." Alex shook several more hands, each had a firmer grip than the last. "So, an unbeatable weapon," David said, "This'll be good." The SEAL named Buck spoke up, "D*mn Russians, how did they develope that?" Alex turned to him, "It isn't that impressive of technology, but they know we don't want to EMP our own soil. So they developed it first, besides, we're gonna' be the ulitmate weapon." The men all nodded, one even shouted "HOORAH!"

Alex was ready, he had his personal favorites; his always beloved Desert Eagle, his modified AK-47, and his silenced FAL. Like something out of fiction, they were going to drop out of orbit using suits called F-MOES's. Fully Manual Orbital Entry Suits. Once the team had reached the Space Station, they would put the suits on. The thick synthetic material would completely absorb the shock of the impact to earth, taken they weren't shot before they landed. If the team tried to enter the enemy territory any other way, they would be shot down before they could reach the capital. This way, they would enter less visibly, the suits were like active camo, once you reached mock 3, you were invisible. The team stepped aboard their shuttle, it would take the team to the Station. Alex had actually never been in space before, so this was quite a scary experience for him, he'd rather run into combat unarmed, than risk leaving the atmosphere.

The ride was bearable, but only barely. Alex felt sick the whole way up, and didn't say a word to any of his peers. The ship connected with the station, and finally, he could step off the d*mn ship. The men quickly suited up, their F-MOES morphed to their bodies, and they were directed into the air lock, where they would jump from. The door closed, and there was no light. One of the soldiers joked, "I'm guessing now wouldn't be a good time to take a piss?" Everyone laughed, everyone except Alex, who felt he was going to piss himself. The door opened, and they could see the whole earth. It was the most beautiful thing Alex had ever seen. The instructor spoke to them in their helmets, "Make sure when you land, it's a solid belly-flop. Any other landing will snap you into pieces. When I say jump, you jump, if you jump at the wrong time, you'll end up in the Atlantic Ocean. Everyone ready?" He waited five minuted before saying, "GO!" They all jumped, the mission had begun.



Chapter 2

Josh waited. He sat at the door, waiting not moving, staring at the door. Everything had beed strange at the house, all possible coincidences, but now he couldn't leave the house. So he sat at the door and every 10 minutes or so he would get an idea, try it, and fail. Then he would sit back down and think. Everyonceandaw hile he thought he saw something or heard something, but there wasn't anything he could find to help him get out.

Then they messed with him. He felt queezy then had a headache, but never did a presence go away. Sometimes he got the feeling he was being watched, but never was anyone there.

Then he got an idea. He wanted to believe there was another way, but he decided to go out a window.

He went over to a window and it opened. He grabbed the bottom part of the frame and twisted around, still facing the window. He could see back inside the house and he smiled turning around.

And he froze. He was still in the house. He turned around and the open window led back outside.

Josh wasn't safe, and he would have taken his own life if he didn't have to warn his family. He knew they were coming soon, so he grabbed the axe from the closet and hunkered in a corner.

No one would be safe.


Josh waited for over a day of torture, voices in his head, and he had grown used to obeying. Anything to get out.

Then he heard the car. He got up to yell for them to stop, he waved frantically, but he couldn't get their attention and they kept walking to the door. You cannot leave. They cannot hear you. Anything to get out. Josh was entranced by the voice.

His wife walked in the door.

"Honey, what happened? You look pale."

"Nothing." He whispered, eyes blank and staring at open space. His wife and son walked past him and into the kitchen to unpack. Josh stood there, exactly like he was when the door opened. Anything to get out. "Hehe. He he he." Josh chuckled, his town sounding more and more hysterical with each breath. "Everything will be just... fine."

And with that Josh went back up to his room.
Debate Round No. 3


Chapter 3: The Call of Duty

Warning! Violent Content!]

The world was a dazzling white, condensation appeared on the glass panel of Alex's HUD. It was truly the most amazing experience he had ever had, and if he hadn't been at war with merciless communists, he would have enjoyed it more. Every part of his body ached, the force from the fall made him feel sick, but then he passed out of the cloud, and Alex gasped. He could see all of D.C. from his altitude, it was awesome, but horrbile. There was fire everywhere, he could see armies of men marching down most public roads, convoys of tanks and nuclear artilley, the Russians were well prepared for a battle, but they would not get to have it, not if Alex had a say. His HUD read 20,000 feet, then 15,000, they were rapidly accelerating, he turned his head slightly to the right, and saw his compatriots, they were as awestruck as he was. No parachute, no parachute, this was crazy. The altitude dropped from 2,000 feet, to 1,000 feet, and then... nothing. Everything was black, he couldn't see, he wondered if he was dead, but then, as if in answer to his question, he heard his radio come to life. "Son of a b*tch that sucked!" Yelled David. Alex wiggled a litte, wondering if he could move, he suprised himself when he could. Standing up, he saw why everything was black, he was in a crater, about ten feet deep. He quickly climbed out, and found himself in a neighborhood. He spoke into his radio, "David, where are you guys? Buck, come in?" David answered, "Yeah I'm here, and I see Buck over in front of me, we're in a car dealership, how about you?" "I'm in a neighborhood, seems deserted. Rendevous at the marker I'm sending you." Alex typed coordinates into his keypad on his arm, then pulled his supply bag out of the crater. Pulling out his weapons, he checked for damage, when he saw none, he began to walk down the road.

"This is really weird," he said. "There's nobody around, I expected heavy resistance." David's voice crackled over the radio. "Well we got some, about twenty reds, coming our way, just a second." ALex heard gunfire, and several yells, until... "Stupid Americans, actually attempting to stop us." The voice had a distinct Russian accent. "Now listen very well, I will find all of you, and kill you like I did your friend here. You make bad decision coming into my territory you capitalist pigs." The transmission ended. "No,no..." Alex muttered, "D*MMIT!" He kicked a rock. "How the hell did they find us so quickly?" He began to run down the road, looked up and down the intersecting street, and followed a sign that said, "White House, 1 mile."

After about ten minutes of enraged sprinting, Alex felt a bullet graze his arm, and he dove sideways behind a truck. "This is Copperfield, do I have any back up left? Over!" He poked over the car to see thirty armed soviets headed in his direction. He popped of a few shots, which scattered them, and he began to pick them off one at a time. Headshot, headshot, headshot, each round from his desert eagle met its mark. He ducked to reload, and felt the truck vibrate with machinegun fire as the rounds pierced it. He pulled a grenade from his vest, and looked in the rear view mirror of the truck, he saw a group slowly approaching. He pulled the pin, and let it cook: 2 seconds, three seconds... and he tossed it over behind his head, and heard screaming as the shrapnel found its victims. He stood up again to check, and a foot came flying into his chest, making him stagger backword, and gasp for air. He pulled his knife, and ran at the attacker. The Russian soldier landed a quick punch to Alex's jaw, but ALex returned the favor with a stab to the agressor's thigh, he screamed. He pulled the blade and lunged it into the attacker's chest. He was dead. Alex collapsed, gasping for oxygen, there still had to be what, atleast ten more. He reached for his gun, and felt a sharp stinging pain in his shoulder, and he blacked out.

He woke up strapped to a hospital bed, he had no clothes except his underwear, and a doctor sat in a chair across the room from him. "So, you finally have woken up?" the man said. "Now, you can help me to find something I need." He grabbed a drill and inserted a large drillbit into, clicked the trigger to make sure it worked, and then approached Alex. He struggled, but he couldn't move. "Now, if you tell me what I need to know, you die quickly. If not, this will be very unpleasant. Now, where is the intel you stole from us?" Alex didn't respond. "As you wish." The Russian replied. He pulled the trigger and drilled into Alex's right bicep. "AAHHAHHHAHHAH!" Alex screamed. Blood squirted everywhere. Alex blacked out again.

He dreamed he was a boy again. Playing with legos with his mother, drinking milk, living peacefully.

He woke up to hear, "Tell me where the intel is, you dog!"

"NOOOOO!" Alex yelled. The doctor leaned in, but Alex was ready, he flung his head forward into the doctor, head butting him. He then gave the man a swift kick, and he was out. The bloody drill landed on Alex's thigh, he wiggled, trying to reach it. A man flung open the door and punched Alex across the jaw. For the third time, he blacked out.



THEVIRUS forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4


Send me a message if you want the end of the story.


Chapter 3

Josh waited with the axe in front of the door. Nobody came to his house without an invitation from him.

"Honey what are you doing?!" his wife screamed.

"Protecting the family. everything will be just fine."

“I invited some people over, they aren’t dangerous.”

“So you are trying to kill us? Yes… you wish to kill our boy. You are trying to rip apart our family by killing me.”

“No!” she said. “How could you think that?”

Josh continued, ignoring her. “Then we must kill you first and protect our boy.”

“No. Please… don’t hurt me!” Josh’s wife was crying, and blocking the stairs.

“Yes. You must go.” With a grin Josh started walking towards his wife.


The boy watched his mother get slaughtered, and heard a voice calling to him.

“Come out come out. Daddy doesn’t want to hurt you.”

The boy was startled, and fell from his hiding place.

“Son… stay there, and listen to me. Go to bed, you are safe now.”

The kid got up and ran. Josh chased him until he caught him, and carried him back to his bed.

“You need to learn to listen to your parents.”

Josh found some duct tape and taped his son to the bed.

He left to close the door, but felt a tug on him. Soon it was unbearable, and was pushing him back to his son.

You cannot leave. “No. No, no, no.” Anything to get out.

His arms raised the axe as he stood next to his son’s bed.

A tear ran down his cheek.

And then he murdered his own son.

Chapter 4

Josh stood, weeping over his torn up son. You cannot leave. "I know..." They cannot hear you. "I know..." Anything to get out.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!" Josh yelled to the air.

Josh walked down the stairs and slit his hand open. He wrote a message in his own blood, smeared and dark:

You cannot leave. They cannot hear you. Anything to get out.

He added his own part: Stay away and live.

After Josh had written this all around the house, lightheadedly he grabbed the box of matches and everything flamable in the house. He threw everything in a pile on the floor and started torching his home.

Josh stood there, flesh burning, absolutely still, watching the flames surround him. The pain was unbearable, and still he smiled. Just as the flames reached the top of the stairs, a gust of wind stamped it out.

His warnings were gone.

His flesh was still burned.

We will not leave. Every killing to ever happen in that house flashed in front of him. He watched chronologically, so he was almost excited when he watched his wife and then son get slaughtered. But it did not end. The final death he was forced to watch...

Was his own.

Josh shook his head to clear the visions, but opened his eyes to find himself pinned on his back.

The axe was falling towards his head, and Josh screamed for the last time.
Debate Round No. 5
12 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by THEVIRUS 3 years ago
Dammit! FUK TIME LIMITS. BigSky... can you allow the FF to not count (please say so in your round five)? I will post Ch. 3 w/ Ch. 4. I ran short on time and didn't get home from school fast enough to type up my rnd 4.
Posted by BigSky 3 years ago
I was like 14, that was like three years ago.
Posted by Reni-1_3 3 years ago
@virus same age when I first saw it, then I've seen it a few times after that
Posted by THEVIRUS 3 years ago
How old were you guys when you saw it (im 14 now)
Posted by Reni-1_3 3 years ago
haha yeah it's pretty intense i'd say, def' on my favorite scary movies list
Posted by BigSky 3 years ago
I crapped myself during that movie. :)
Posted by Reni-1_3 3 years ago
HA i will wait until voting to choose whose story is better, but yes 1408 is a pretty scary movie, we are both talking about the haunted hotel room right? well anyways yeah watch it at night with the lights off and all that, well it's not as much scary, but hella trippy which makes it scarier see? You'll just have to watch it haha
Posted by THEVIRUS 3 years ago
How did chapter 1 go for me? And do you think 1408 would scare the sh!t out of me? Was it really scary? My friend said it wasn't but that he watched it during the day in the summer so it wasn't really scary to him
Posted by Reni-1_3 3 years ago
1408 was great! (hey that rhymed) I love horror stories, but i'm not very much skilled in writing in the essence of fear
Posted by THEVIRUS 3 years ago
I have actually only watched one full horror movie (the shining) and it was good. I have seen some clips of 1408 online (I wanna see that movie) and plan on watching the Bates Motel on tv (and at some point Psycho)
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by lannan13 3 years ago
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:Vote Checkmark--1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:Vote Checkmark--3 points
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Total points awarded:40 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct goes to Pro because of the FF, I believe that Pro's stories were more entertaining and that I was right then watching it all hapen, Con made a good effort and it was a hard decission but when things boil down I believe Pro wins this debate.