The Instigator
kbub
Pro (for)
Winning
49 Points
The Contender
NightofTheLivingCats
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

DDOlympics: Storytelling: PRELIMS 1

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 8 votes the winner is...
kbub
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/13/2014 Category: Games
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 6,787 times Debate No: 45787
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (150)
Votes (8)

 

kbub

Pro

PLEASE DO NOT VOTE UNLESS YOU ARE AN OFFICIAL DDOLYMPIC JUDGE.

Greetings! It seems that we are paired to participate in a storytelling event.

We will each have two rounds with 10,000 characters to narrate an isolated story (one story per debater, continued in both rounds).

NightofTheLivingCats may go ahead and start (no acceptance), but s/he must concede the last round so that we each have an equal number of stories. Forfeits (except the last round) should count as an automatic loss.

Thank you so much! I'm really looking forward to this competition. Good luck!

There will be no theme for this debate.

Please vote on the best overall story. The only section that needs to be voted on is "arguments," unless there is egregious misconduct or plagiarism (which would constitute a 7-point loss for that individual). No points taken off for grammar/spelling (although this may factor into your argument vote), sources, or conduct.
NightofTheLivingCats

Con

As kbub said, I may start next round.
Debate Round No. 1
kbub

Pro

NightofTheLivingCats spoke correctly. I will begin presently.


******

Forget-Me-Not

Part One: At a Glance

If you can read this account then you are either impossibly clever or have already learned the truth. If it is the latter I offer my deepest condolences and what small comforts might be shared with miserable company. If you have managed to decode this forgotten art, perhaps using a piece of ancient technology, I beseech you to halt this narrative and try, for your own sake try, to forget.

I lay with my palms facedown on the bleach-black road, recruiting its latent heat to combat the nipping wind. I inhaled deeply. A breeze brought fresh, unidentified scents, tainted slightly by the musty aroma that gathers in the cracks of the road. I exhaled, and I imagined the wisp of vapor I'd released. I opened my eyes to catch the barest traces of the cloud before it faded into a blue and grey background. My gaze advanced several paces before it halted at a blue and grey skyline--grey from the squarish hollow mountains (we call them "grand caves") interrupting a great faultless cloth of polite blue.

Near one of my hands breathed a woman I knew. She was curled like a fetus, covered in rough cloth that she had torn from the wall of a cave. She also chose to rest in the warmth. I flicked my gaze back to the horizon. Why was I here? I knew why I was reclined on the road, of course; warm naps seem to fend off hunger. However, I had forgotten what had possessed me to live so far into the Land of the Caves. The rugged rock formations like the road stretched for days, making growing difficult. I examined the shapely hollow caves, as if for an answer. At the day's end, sometimes the whole Land would catch fire as the caves would seize and loose the sky's fiery hues. I recalled the awe that would sweep over me on such occasions, and a sense of meaning it would inspire. It is hard to imagine such grandeur as accidentenal. I liked how small the grand caves and the sky made me feel, for thier inexplicable scale made their creator seem that much more magnificent.

I sat up and walked to the traps. The sides of the road were lined with trees. Beyond those trees, if you know the way, you can reach the grand caves quite quickly. I meandered through the forest, cautious of the roots, my fellow adventurers, who hardly showed such courtesy to my feet. Although I had frequented the path, I managed to gather a handful of tasty tree droppings that I had missed on previous journeys. The base of the caves came into view as their peaks seemed to diminish. The trap I made from a curious entryway into the grand cave marked "S" "E" "A" "R" "S." This grand cave, like several others, could be breached using a three-part system of clear, mobile walls. However, this entrance, as far as I know, is unique. When I first approached the entrance, the wall in front of me moved away from me without my coercion, and the wall to my rear revolved toward my back. My ensuing panic was short-lived, since the walls halted when I had entered the grand cave. In order to exit, however, I had to forcibly push the wall-piece with my arms, like the other tri-wall entrances I was more familiar with. Subsequent trials lead me to discover that I only need step near the wall for it to begin revolving, whereas on my exist I consistently had to rely on my strength. I had used this devise to entrap small, furry animals. I would place seeds near the wall of the entrance, and as the animals approached the bait the walls would suddenly revolve. I had blocked the entrance into the grand cave, so that if the furry creature did not espace the approaching door, they would be stuck in the cell between the walls.

I saw one such creature clawing at the blocked entrance. The grand cave had multiple entrances, allowing me to approach the trapped animal. I carried a black hard rod that I had discovered in the cave. I was always amazed at the uniformity of the caves, yet another piece of evidence for Creation. I entered the trap and quickly closed the blockage behind me. I brutally knocked the creature senseless, and wiped the floor and rod with cloth found inside the grand gave. If the entrance were not clean, I found that the animals would become suspicious of the seeds and ignore them. I replenished the bait with the seeds I had found and pushed my way out of the grand gave.

I retrieved my case of flammables and poured out some clear liquid from a red carton into a small hole in the flaky ground. I had already prepared sticks and a flat rock in the hole. I found my second rod and began to strike the two together, releasing a small spurt of light. The liquid caught fire, and then the sticks. I tore at the skin of the dead creature will the flames settled to coals. I brushed some of the coals away, clearing the rock, and then dropped the carcass on the rock. The blood hissed. The one who lay on the road next to me approached. She had no doubt smelled the smoke. I gathered the carcass remains into two piles. She sat down and began to eat.

"Will you give thanks?" I asked. She paused, looked at me, and resumed chewing.

"Please?" I mumbled. She looked at me long in the face. I turned away.

She sighed, and raised a scrap of food to the sky. I mimicked her. We both faced a particular queer grand cave. "Thank you," we murmured, and buried the scrap with our hands while we sat. We returned to our food. I stared at the top of the building we had saluted while I ate. Though she mostly focused on the task at hand, she would also occasionally glance at the conspicuous heights of the conspicuous grand cave. I chewed, swallowed, and mused.

An enormous clang pierced the quiet. Her head whipped around. My gaze did not flaulter, being already, conviniently, directed at the site of the interrupted peace.

******
NightofTheLivingCats

Con

It is apparently a fine World after all.


It was on a clear Wednesday that Batman was sitting on a bench near the Jefferson Memorial. Batman has a suitcase, along with a buddy sitting across the room.


"Where is everyone?" Batman thought to himself. Batman looks at his watch. It said 5:30 PM. The game was going to start now. Everyone was going to be here right now, but as Batman glances to the side, he sees FDR.

“Batman, it is a pleasure to meet you in person, as you can guess, I am FDR.".

Batman returns the formalities.

"It is quite a pleasure, now, FDR, as we are waiting still, please sit."

FDR remains seated in his wheelchair, and pulls out a flask of brandy.

The rest players begin to arrive.

First Hitler arrives.

Then Winston Churchill walks in.

and finally Stalin arrives. He is seen arguing with Churchill.

Batman begins to talk.

“Now I hope you remember what you are here for. We are here for the best d amn game of Hide and Seek this world will ever know.”

The players lightly clap.

“Now, I will explain the rules again. You may hide in the city of Washington D.C. There are no limits to where you hide; given your hiding space is in the city limit. H ell, you can even hide in the White House. You should also bear in mind that the game lasts for 6 days. You will find that you need a food source. You may go anywhere for this. I will give you $400 dollars for this purpose. The game ends at 5:30 PM Tuesday. Understand? In addition, there are more rules. You may not have any of your personal belongings. They will be given back to you after the game is over. Also, when I begin counting to 100, the game starts. ”

As Batman spoke the last sentences he had taken the player’s contraband.

FDR had nothing, besides his wheelchair.

Both Churchill and Stalin had cigars; but Stalin must have liked his smokes with vodka, because he was drinking it as Batman spoke.

Hitler had his mustache ripped off.

As Batman finished his collection, whether he noticed or not, a crowd was forming. Faint whispers could be heard.

“What’s happening?”

“This seems exciting enough to me.”

Things were going to get exciting for the Washington D.C when Batman began to count.

And then Batman began to count.

“One,”

And the game was on.

Day One

Hitler randomly chose a location to begin running, and soon reaches the main streets of D.C. Hitler didn’t know what to do. He was pretty much in enemy lands. Further more, Hitler knew that if he is to win and be glory to Nazi Germany, he better have a plan. Hitler thought of a plan, and ran in a darken alley.

*******************

Meanwhile, Churchill ran to the most crowded place he could find easily. As if the streets are this packed he thought. Churchill jumped over a car and into an alley. Churchill had to make some ground before h can rest, and after he made some turns, Churchill slammed into something, and that thing, was Adolf Hitler.

“FVCK! It’s you.”

“Hey, easy. I come in peace, mate.”

“…Mind if you provide evidence?”

“Yeah man. Hey, we can both win if we join up and work together.”

Churchill was at a lost. He wanted to win, and he was willing to work with the most dubious of characters.

Churchill reached out and shaken Hitler’s hand.

“Alright then. I’ll stick around for a short while.”

It just like that, Hitler steps to the side to reveal a sewer.

Hitler began to talk how he found the sewer and how he plans on using the sewer to one part of the city to another, although, Hitler had other plans. Hitler motioned Churchill to follow him and he led the duo down the sewer drain. Churchill began to felt uneasy being in a weaken spot, and protested to Hitler.

“What do you plan on going? Batman is sure to find us if we don’t bunker down.”

“Not really. I have a plan and a place where we would hide for a bit. Not really a concern for me.”

“Wait, where are you even going?”

Hitler laughed, but began to choke on the fumes of sh!t in the sewer. Churchill propped open the sewer lid to let fresh air in.

“I don’t think we should be here.”

“I agree.”

Hitler and Churchill talked their next move.

“Well, I don’t we just hide in a backstreet?”

“I don’t know. The Media is bound to find us, and when they do, so will Batman.”

“What should we do then?”

“Kill Minorities?”

Churchill was going to return with a zinger, when he heard;

“Oh my God! Is that Batman?”

Batman has arrived.

“Sh!t Hitler what do we do know?”

“Follow me.”

Hitler and Churchill ran through back alleys. Batman was only nearby. And some citizens were bashfully pointing in the player’s direction. Hitler opened another entrance to the sewer and dropped in.

Churchill had no choice. He went in.

As Hitler planned and Churchill gambled, the other players would begin to truly play into their personalities.

******

Across the city, FDR is on a subway to the inner-city. FDR silently reads the Newspaper.

“GUN SHOOTING IN HAWAII”

“WELFARE FRAUD STER CAUGHT IN NEW YORK”

“DOGECOIN EXPANDING”

FDR exchanges looks with other passengers, and by the looks of it, they knew him, and FDR had to move when he had his stop. FDR knew what he had to do. He had to pay his respects at the Holocaust Museum. FDR looks out the window, and wonders about his fate. FDR is thinking of the other players and trying to think of where they might be.

FDR waited for the train to slow down, and at that moment, he jumped off the train.

************

Batman has long since given up on Hitler and Churchill and now is after a new prey.

******

Stalin was sliding through the crowds of D.C and is now on the streets of Pennsylvania Avenue. Stalin was getting the attention he didn’t want, nor did he need. He had to be urgent. Stalin jumped the nearest fence and made his way into a door. After stealthy making his way into the centre of the building, the most grand of options appeared. He was in the Oval Office. And who else was in the room? The American President, that’s who. Stalin takes the chance and kidnaps the President, and takes a gun off from the desk.

Stalin forces the President to show the way to Marine One. And a short walk there, Stalin is boarding the Helicopter.

Stalin thought he heard jolly laughter from the pilot, who patted him on the back and said,

“Ha ah. Oh if all Americans had your balls, the world would be a better place.”

Stalin agreed.

“What can I say? Living in a arctic wasteland does that to you.”

The voice responds.

“But sadly, you’re out.”

That voice was Batman.

Debate Round No. 2
kbub

Pro

By the way, I reserve copyright and my other related rights in writing this short story. Please don't copy it.

Part Two: Myosotis

She reached for a rod. I searched the tree-line with my eyes, as if to gauge forest's reacted to the auditory intrusion.
A second clash announced itself, and a third confirmed it wasn't an echo. The tone warbled eerily. A fourth. A fifth. A sixth. The procession of clanging endured. The sound lingered too long in the emptiness.

A flutter. The inhabitants of the heights began their exodus. A part of me wanted to follow. I looked across the fire, I saw her gaze trained toward the unique grand cave. She pointed. Following her finger, I gasped at the sheer number of small silhouettes rising from the ground surrounding the cave. It looked like raindrops, now black with earth, returning to their once-forgotten home in the clouds.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I was ungrateful."

"Nonsense," I replied. I wanted to say more, but I was suddenly taken aback to discover a tear on her cheek, despite her composed demeanor. We watched the the raindrops in silence.

I will narrate as best I remember of what our experiences following these strange sounds; however, I cannot properly explain our decision that immediately followed the frightening clashes. I was chocked with an overwhelming dread, frozen with anxiety, and tickled with curiosity. Perhaps in my indecision I followed her; perhaps she followed me.

My face was flushed. I was breathing quickly, as if we had run instead of strolled. The unique grand cave seemed grander up close. The grand cave was a sharp hill that wore three hard tree-like junctures reaching toward the shy. I was swept with the sensation of being insignificant. The walls to the entrance were already cracked open.

"COME IN." A voice boomed. I did not move. Neither did she.

"Please." The voice was softer. I swallowed. She walked to the wall. She looked back--her expression was filled with regret. She moved inside. I could not bare the thought of remaining outside alone. I scuttled after her.

The inside of the cave was enormous--the heights seemed as tall as the sky. The interior walls were adorned with images that I could not identify immediately. My breathing was out of control. Before me was complete and noncontroversial proof for the existence of a creator. I felt small and naked, guilty and afraid. I could not know what the creator had heard me whisper in the night. They say that no words escape those ears.

"OPEN THE DOOR." The voice came from everywhere in the room. I did not know what the voice meant. "STOP,' the voice commanded. I halted. So did she. "YOU BY THE ENTRANCE. TURN. AND STOP. NO, BACK A LITTLE...NOW. YOU ARE FACING THE DOOR." I did not know what a "door" was, but I was facing another entrance. I approached it and pushed the wall open. "GO UP THE STAIRS." There were a series of inclines that spiraled upward. Many grand caves had similar objects. We understood what we had to do.

The climb seemed endless. When we reached the heights, a somewhat muffled voice reached me from behind another entrance. "Come in," the voice said.

"Who are you?" She asked, shaking.

"I am Myosotis, the One-Who-Remembers." The voice replied. "I am God."

*****

Myosotis sat slouched so low that her head was in competition with her knees. Her face was very pale--I had never seen a face so white. Under her eyes was a deep purple that gave the impression of that her skull was pulling at her eyes from behind. In front of her eyes were the outline of two squares the rested on her nose. Her hands sat on a small box that lay on her lab. "Hi," she suggested.

"Hi, hello," we responded.

"Do you want to hear a story?" God asked. "Yes," I replied. I was not about to refuse God.

"I'm so sorry," a familiar voice blurted. God turned to her, amused. "It is I who should be sorry, you know."

"Are you the creator?" I asked. Myosotis looked at me. I felt uncomfortable by her gaze. "Yes, I suppose in a way I am," God mused. "Would you like to hear my story? First, though, you must choose. I can bestow on you wisdom, but you must forfeit happiness. I will tell you all that happened, and afterward you can be like me--a God. However, this knowledge will make you miserable. Are you willing to accept this gift?"

Admittedly, God did not look particularly wise. One of God's fingers began exploring her nose absentmindedly.

I remembered the sky turn the Land into fire. I recalled the breeze on the gnarled tree. "I accept," said I.

"I accept." She did not sound confident.

"Very well." Myosotis straightened up.

"I am the One-Who-Has-Not_Forgotten. I can tell you how each piece of this city was meant to be used. I have a laptop on my lap. You heard my voice earlier through speakers that were powered by electricity. People used to believe that the apocalypse would bring decay and violence, but they were mistaken. The death of old world came without a single causality."

God looked at me. "Do you know why?" I told her I did not.

God resumed: "The human species operates under a system called evolution. It's not really a thing-in-itself--it's more a description of something that just happens. What people didn't understand about evolution, however, was that it doesn't just apply to biology. Evolution is everywhere--in our culture, in our epistemology, in our language. In biological evolution, many genes struggle to maintain their immortality. Those genes that did not do so were never heard from again, so we only talk about the genes that care about their immortality.

"The evolution of the consciousness works in much the same way. Instead of genes, however, the evolution of consciousness works to make ideas immortal. These ideas make their home in your anatomy and make up your mind. By sharing your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs, your love, your hate, you are participating in the immortality of ideas without even realizing it. The impact of these thoughts are carried by those you meet. Your consciousness is transferred to every person this person meets. Some call this transfer 'effects,' and others 'karma.'

"The human species was on the one hand highly-successful--we created this city as you see it. All of these skyscrapers are ours. We constructed them from the ground. We made the art that you see in this building. We have achieved complete dominance over nature--'godhood,' if you will. However, in achieving full knowledge of nature and therefore complete power over nature, we also began to exploit nature. The means by which we achieved dominion was wrecking havoc on our vassal earth--cycles of competition and mastery was bringing a slow death to us all. What was even more disturbing was the fact that we had the knowledge to watch it happen, but could not prevent it. We were forced by ourselves to watch ourselves execute ourselves--our knowledge that had been our means of achieving comfort was now tortured us--though we had become the most powerful beings on the planet, we were held captive by our own godawful 'means.' Remember this: your actions always infect your soul.

"Our consciousnesses could not function properly. In self-defense, some tried to deny that the prison existed. The evidence was overwhelming, however, and the hollowness of these bad faith arguments became apparent. Our consciousness, in desperation, moved at incredible speed, the likes of which our history books fail to mention. Our minds realized that we must overcome our who techno-epistemologic processing. People began to forget. Not everything; just the things that were destroying them. They began to burn themselves on toasters. They forgot what cars were for. They no longer used elevators.

"This was apparently just in time. Those who could not forget began to be so troubled by their own existences that they suffered from chronic clinical depression. Many committed suicide. Some, like me, remained. In this world I have all that we once desired. I have power. I can use cars and planes to traverse this globe at unheard of speeds. I can use weapons to recruit slaves and armies. I am a god. But in truth, I am paralyzed. I have nothing to do; I do not belong in this world. The only thing left I have to do is pass on my knowledge to naive fools like you before I die. I hate myself for it--by all rights you should be allowed to live without these burdens. However, forgetting does not erase our crimes. You may have forgotten technology, but you still remember violence, and you are starting to re-learn domination. I see dried blood on your rod. We will probably learn again, and again forget. Each cycle however will leave us one step closer to our doom. That is my excuse for telling you my story, but I'm afraid my motives are probably not so pure. This is probably my consciousness giving one last attempt to transfer my awful heritage."

"And I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, but I must show you this." She proceeded to show us images on what she called a "laptop." She later taught us to read and to write. I saw all of the horrible crimes of humanity's past. What was worse was we then knew how to use this knowledge. There was no longer any need to walk or scrounge for food. We could and did recruit other humans and nonhuman animals for our purposes. Nature bent to our wills. And we hated ourselves for it. My friend decided she could no longer stand this life, and left me alone. God had long since died of a flu.

I write this to you now while I am gazing at that same hateful blue-grey skyline, using some of the last electronics at my disposal. I hope and pray that you who reads this will live in a better world. Perhaps we've learned to end the cycles, or make the planet better. Perhaps not. In any case, I image I'll long be dead when you read this. And I mean to say with all my heart this one, utterly usefuless, hateful, spiteful, evil thing: I'm so sorry. With all my heart, I am so, so sorry. Live well. Godbless.


NightofTheLivingCats

Con

DDO and school work is becoming stressful. I must resign.

Vote kbub.

When I am finished with School, I would like to redebate you.
Debate Round No. 3
150 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Comrade_Silly_Otter 2 years ago
Comrade_Silly_Otter
Bwhahaha, Batman?!
Posted by kbub 2 years ago
kbub
Oh thanks! I really appreciate it!
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
@kbub I forgot to say that I loved your story piece. At first I felt bored with the first part of your story. But I loved the concept in the end. I liked the whole consciousness evolution idea and the message to change the world at the end. There was a lot of variety of vocab and i Iiked that too. thank you for the interesting story
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
I've decided. Yes, it should be allowed.
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
*by*
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
as suggested kbub
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
I can't decide if comment bombing and view generating should be banned in DDO.
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
I can't decide if comment bombing and view generating should be banned in DDO.
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
I can't decide if comment bombing and view generating should be banned in DDO.
Posted by Speakerfrthedead 2 years ago
Speakerfrthedead
I can't decide if comment bombing and view generating should be banned in DDO.
8 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Vote Placed by Wylted 2 years ago
Wylted
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Con, concedes.
Vote Placed by XLAV 2 years ago
XLAV
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Con forfeited.
Vote Placed by STALIN 2 years ago
STALIN
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Total points awarded:70 
Reasons for voting decision: "DDO and school work is becoming stressful. I must resign. Vote kbub."
Vote Placed by Krazzy_Player 2 years ago
Krazzy_Player
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Concession.
Vote Placed by Juan_Pablo 2 years ago
Juan_Pablo
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Con forfeited the debater. Kbub's story was genuinely going somewhere.
Vote Placed by PotBelliedGeek 2 years ago
PotBelliedGeek
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Con has resigned from this competition. All points to pro.
Vote Placed by tylergraham95 2 years ago
tylergraham95
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Concession
Vote Placed by SeventhProfessor 2 years ago
SeventhProfessor
kbubNightofTheLivingCatsTied
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Reasons for voting decision: CC