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Do you feel some girls/women are right by saying they have harder jobs by being full time mothers?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 12/30/2013 Category: Society
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 544 times Debate No: 43129
Debate Rounds (3)
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Votes (2)




I completely understand that having children is a job and is tiering but I don't understand these women that say their job as a full time mum is harder than other jobs.

They choose to have children and that is their own decision so by doing that they know what it entails. (If they have had an unplanned pregnancy then that's just unfortunate) But in terms of the women that choose to have kids It's not like there aren't enough books out there and advice on the internet, not including all the people that will tell them what it's like.

There are a couple of girls I know that say they work harder by being mums and I don't think that's true at all. I feel I work just as hard in my job if not more, I've worked extremely hard to get where I am, I do long hours, into the night, weekends, miss the usual holidays like Xmas and New Years spending with my husband due to work unlike mums that will more than likely be at home.

I used to see one of the girls as a friend before she had children, and now she thinks and speaks down to everyone else as if she is superior to them and works harder just because she's now a mum, as I work around 70 hours a week and there are thousands out there that work the same if not more I don't feel some women have the right to do this.

I believe there are women and men out there that have jobs harder than being a full time stay at home mum, labour intensive jobs and high powering managerial jobs. I disagree completely when women say they have the hardest jobs in the world being mothers.


Being a mother can be one of the hardest jobs in the world.

Let's start out by defining what we mean by "hard." By "hard" I don't mean non-rewarding. In fact, I would argue that motherhood can be one of the most rewarding "jobs" there is. By "hard" I don't mean intellectually complicated. You don't need a PhD to raise a child. In fact, for the majority of human history, mothers received almost little to no education.

By "hard" I mean it is one of the most time-consuming, labor intensive, self sacrificing jobs there is. In fact, one of the reasons my ideal is to stay at home full time (I work part time because we can't afford me to stay home full time) is because I believe taking on job plus motherhood is the equivalent of having two full-time jobs.

Now certainly we have eased some of the burdens of motherhood. We have daycare, nannies, long institutionalized school days that transfer our parental responsibilities to other individuals. Often these paid workers we transfer our responsibilities do are severely underpaid. Why are they underpaid? Because if we paid them according to the value their services can provide, we wouldn't be able to afford their services. And to pinch pennies even more, we've created systems that (except for a nanny) stretch an adult's limits based on legal standards of caregiver to child ratios.

I would list the following unique qualities of motherhood that make it one of the hardest "jobs":

1. What our bodies go through in pregnancy, the extreme being high risk pregnancies.

2. Giving birth.

3. Loving someone so much who is yet so vulnerable that while in today's world it is less likely, you could watch this fragile being die after you've already given so much in the pregnancy and birth or months or years down the road.

4. The menial tasks aren't difficult but can really wear on you.

5. Once you've embraced parenthood, there is no bailing out. This is a 24 hour job for, now-a-days more than 18 years. You're on-call in the middle of the night, whether its a baby crying, a young child having a nightmare, a teenager staying out past curfew leaving you anxious and perhaps angry.

6. Parenting books really don't offer all of the solutions. They offer ideas, but to sell themselves they often idealize their results.

7. Chances are, you'll always feel judged as a parent. Part of this is because there are so many parenting books that some people get so sold on their style of parenting, that they my sneer at you or make some comment intending you to hear. Some people will think you're spoiling your kids, others will think you're neglecting your kids, others will think you're too strict. You will be judged by how your children behave. "She's acting that way because you give into her too much. She's spoiled." "He's acting that way because he has a need you're not addressing. You're being too strict."

I'm not at all saying the work isn't rewarding. Kids can be fun. If you're a stay-at-home parent, you control your entire schedule and can adjust it easily. In fact, if anything, I often feel that work just robs me of time I ought to be spending with my daughter. That's not to say I don't need a break, but while I know several women who work to get a break from their kids, that's not a break in my book.
Debate Round No. 1


Well in terms of your definition of hard there are many terms in which it can be used. Hard physical work, hard mental work.

When you describe what hard means in terms of motherhood I agree it is time consuming, labour intensive and self sacrificing but it is no harder than other jobs.

My father owns a company which employs 6,000+ staff and I am one of the marketing managers. I own shares in the business also, I work usually from 6am till 11pm 6 days a week, on the 7th day about half those hours, the other half of the day where I would usually be at work I do the normal household chores and see friends and family. Even when I'm not physically at work I am mentally working all the time.

I have about 2 hours of that 6-11 working to have lunch & dinner and some kind of break. Yes I get about a solid 5 hours sleep but can you honestly tell me that for a stay a home mum they are constantly on the go for 17 hours a day like I am mentally working. I'm sure it doesn't take that much brain cell to change a nappy or give a bottle.

I am constantly writing, emailing, texting, giving presentations, having meetings, on the phone, speaking to staff, speaking to other companies, flying off to hotels to meet other managers and see other companies, giving more presentations, sorting advertising, doing press releases....the list is endless and yes I understand the list of motherhood chores is also endless but only for about 2/3 years, it then gets easier once the child goes to nursery, then pre school, then school, collage, university & off in their own lives. So about 18/20 years, but that isn't 18/20 years constant work like the first two years are because it gets so much easier.

I also have to miss some of the precious days of the year like valentines day, Christmas, Easter, New Years, mothers and Father's Day to soon with my own parents, birthdays etc. because of my job, being a stay at home mother will nine times out of ten mean they are around for occasions like this where as I am not.

Pregnancy can be hard for some but fine for most, you also get the help of mid-wives, doctors and nurses throughout this 'experience'. Do you not think it's hard for men and women in jobs such as the police force, air ambulance service, fire department, these workers who apparently don't work harder than full time mothers put their lives at risk every single day and they don't scream and shout about the fact they they work the hardest. They have so many risks and daily fears about what could happen, and I appreciate that a mother will have daily fears about something happening to her child but I'm sorry it doesn't even come close to those kinds of jobs.

Birth I can understand is hard, for a few hours, it's then over and done with and 99% of women say the pain goes away so quickly and by the end of the day they can't remember what it's like and say they would do it all over again.

Nannies and child care services are defiantly not underpaid, my sister does not see the point in going back to work because the amount she will earn a work in a week will just pay for the child care costs because they are so expensive. If they are private daycare centres and nannies which most are they charge more than enough for their services.

I know I work harder than stay at home mums and I know there are thousands more men and women out there that also do, but we don't go around saying it. I don't understand why some women feel the need to have to let everyone else know that they think being a full time mum is the hardest job in the world because I'm sorry but it 100% is not the hardest job around, mothers in the 40's, 50's and 60's had it harder than mothers these days and they just got on with it and I can assure you they would always say their husbands who got up to go and work in such places like the coal mines did a harder job. I don't see why today's generation of mothers feel the need to now say they are the now the ones with the harder jobs!


Addressing the points you made:

1. I don't see how whether or not having a child is a choice pertains to this argument.

2. Much of your argument revolves around repeating over and over how many hours you work at your current job and the number of tasks you need to complete. Since my first response ended up beyond the character limit, I'm going to try to stick to the point.

So the major point I'd like to address is that having kids causes ordinary tasks to take ten ties longer. Whether you're dealing the the fatigue the pregnancy causes, the more frequent trips to the bathroom, the all day vomiting (the term morning sickness is very misleading), or dealing with a non-cooporative toddler, it takes time. I could probably have some other categories for older children, but I am currently only the mother of a two year old, so I'm going to stick to my experience.

Now, yes, a stay-at-home mother is available for the Holidays. Afterall, a stay at home mother stays at home. But what is given up? Well, with a toddler, there's often no such thing as using the toilet by yourself. No, your son or daughter insists on sitting there with you. Now, this is sort of a good thing as it can be a lesson in toilet training and can get them motivated to sit on the potty themselves. My own daughter is getting closer to being fully trained. Its a mixture of "Oh my gosh that's so gross" and "Oh, that's sort of cute" when she insists I have to put my hands on her tummy and squeeze it to help her push. Then she talks to me about how the daddy poo poo is coming out and how "Oh here comes the baby poo poo. Look, its a baby poo poo." And you have to smile and say "Yeah! That's great." while the smell of feces is reaching your noise.

Its not that it isn't rewarding. This is a job you don't get paid to do. Its a job you do purely out of love for your child and that love is very special. And probably the hardest thing about it is that so much of what you do ISN'T for yourself. You're not serving the customer in the hope that they'll come back or in the hope of getting a raise. This isn't some business you started that could fail and result in you starting a different business or using your experience to get hired elsewhere. So the risk involved in screwing things up is very unique and feels a lot different.

3. BIRTH: The average birth for a first child is 12 to 18 hours. Some women have quick labors. Some women have even longer labors. Some women struggle to carry their babies to term. Some women go past their due date. Some women have spontaneous orgasms during birth (, some women suffer from post traumatic stress after birth. (

But regardless of what end of the spectrum a woman is on with her birth experience, it is an exceptional ordeal women have to go through. (

4. NANNIES AND CHILDCARE PROVIDERS: I am not sure what Nannies and other childcare providers cost in your country. In mine, the average hourly wage of a child-care worker is barely above minimum wage, making many of them work just at or above the poverty line. ( ( This low salary plus the high stress levels contributes to very high turnover rates ( (Source is pretty old but:

Yes, child-care today is very expensive, but it is not because the workers are getting paid a just and fair salary. (
A few key quotes from this article: "According to the Census, the price of professional childcare has been rising since the 1980s. Yet during that time, pay for professional childcare workers has stagnated. As the Census points out, care givers actually make less today, in real terms, than they did in 1990."

Factors that increase the cost: "If a center is required by law to have 25 square feet of space for every kid in a program, it can't ever downsize its building when rents rise. If it has to hire a care giver for every two children, it can't really achieve any economies of scale on labor to save money when other expenses go up. A comparative case in point:in Massachusetts, where child care centers must hire one teacher for every three infants, the price of care averaged more than $16,000 per year. In Mississippi, where centers must hire one teacher for every five infants, the price of care averaged less than $5,000."

TO CLOSE: I don't want to argue that being a mother is the worst and least fulfilling work there is. Its not. Its very fulfilling and fun. It just takes a lot out of you. Its something that if you do it full time, you're really putting your full self into. And if you're not doing that, than you're letting the daycare provider, the school teachers, and electronic gadgets raise your kids. That isn't to say that we should avoid such things like the plague. We all need a break from our kids. And, moreover, its definitely a job where you don't have a supervisor over your shoulder evaluating you on the quality of your work each month. If you set your kid in front of the TV for hours so you can play a video game, or surf the web, especially if you're home alone, no one is going to fire you from the job. The more you neglect your child, the greater increase in chance that a neighbor or relative might call social services, but maybe not. So its good and bad. You're not over-regulated. In fact, you're sort of under-regulated. And yet that gives you the freedom to parent according to your own style. It is largely up to your and your partner to decide how much of your time and energy you will put in your kids. So maybe a mom will work full time, sending their kid to a center. Maybe a mom will stay home, but the kids will only go away to school at 7 years old. And yet maybe still that Mom may decide to homeschool their kids.

And meanwhile one mom will have only one kid. Another will have 2 or 3. My parents had four. And while more rare in this day and age, I do know people who have 6 to 8 children. Usually when they get that large, the Mom is home full time and home schooling entirely.

So it certainly isn't some steady and constant difficulty that is universal among all mothers. But it is one of the hardest jobs there is.
Debate Round No. 2


Well I have to be honest and say that everything you wrote was a complete waste of time because at the end of all that you admitted that it isn't the hardest job in the world when you said 'but it is ONE of the hardest jobs there is'

I am not disputing that it isn't hard but there are jobs out there harder, yes I imagine it is up there as being hard work like my job, but there are jobs harder such as the police force, doctors, fire service, air ambulance service etc. and you have just said that is is ONE of the hard jobs but not the hardest.

So I think the debate is over and I think I've proven my point exactly.


You had phrased the argument as: "Do you feel some girls/women are right by saying they have harder jobs by being full time mothers?" From the first round, I stated clearly in the first line that being a mother "can be one of the hardest jobs there is."

I don't know anyone who claims that being a mother is the hardest job on the planet. I also would not argue that it is more difficult to be a police officer, a fire-fighter or a physician. I don't believe there is any way to objectively weigh the difficulty. Its one thing to say something is one of the hardest jobs. Its another thing to say that anything is the hardest.

And when it comes to other people talking about how hard their job as a mother is, there's a lot of detail you don't know. Parenthood isn't always straight forward with its levels of stress. You could end up with an easy child. You could end up with a baby who has colic. You could be a mother to one child. You could be a mother of 8 children. And then there is the individual mother. She may have a very natural instinct to her, a level of great confidence, or having a baby could make her anxious. Perhaps she lacks experience. I can tell you, many of those baby books out there can cause more stress than help. They can set you up for failure, make you worry about your child being abnormal at any time. You can listen to so much advise that you constantly feel insecure bout yourself especially if you have no previous experience with children.

So, really, who can judge on that narrow of a level?
Debate Round No. 3
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2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by kbub 2 years ago
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Total points awarded:05 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro won that the job of being a mother is one of the hardest. Therefore, women do have a harder time, as the topic states (it does not say that they have the "hardest" time). Pro won that it is harder than most jobs, which Con does not adequately address. Please try to address all of Pro's points, Con, instead of letting them drop under a single questionable generic rebuttal. Sources go to Pro who offered citations.
Vote Placed by KingDebater 2 years ago
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro conceded by admitting that being a mother isn't the hardest job there is.