The Instigator
smaher1
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Mak-zie
Con (against)
Winning
6 Points

Does age matter in relationships?

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
Mak-zie
Started: 1/27/2012 Category: Society
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 32,114 times Debate No: 20707
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (10)
Votes (2)

 

smaher1

Pro

Age does matter in relationships because if your young and dating someone a couple years older then what you are. Maturity is a big factor in serious relationships. If your a girl and dating someone older the guy could take advantage of you or abusive you just because you are younger. I believe that you should be close and age and if your younger then 18 you shouldn't be dating someone that ins't in your high school.
Mak-zie

Con

I would like to take this first round to clear which side I'm on and to dispute some of my opponent's arguments, as follows:
1. I agree that maturity is a serious factor in relationships, but would like to point out that it is not nessacarily determind by age. For example, a fifty-year-old and a twenty-year-old could be in a relationship and at the same maturity level.
2. If you're in a relationship with a guy or girl that takes advantage of you or abuses you, it makes no difference what you're situation is, they'll do that no matter what, and that's not a good person to be in a relationship with anyway.

Besides, the only thing that should matter in a relationship is love, and if they truly love each other, nothing else should matter.
Debate Round No. 1
smaher1

Pro

I agree with your argument that love should matter in the relationship but if you are dating someone much older then you they can have a lot of emotional baggage. A lot of problems or emotional baggage that can drag you down. The verbally abuse of their actions, if they are younger the older person most likely won't want to listen to what they have to say or take advice from someone who is younger then them.

The maturity of the the two people is definitely a main part. If there is a huge dating and their sexual active. Age matters and vary is relationships. If the girls to young people may take that as the guy she wants to have sex with her and she will get a hard time about it. The girl might be to young to be able to handle it all, and it could lead to many difficult times in the relationships. I don't believe just because you like someone that much and they are that much older then you that it will work. It's harder if there is such a huge age difference.
Mak-zie

Con

Emotional Baggage-Painful memories, mistrust and hurt carried around from past sexual or emotional rejection.
http://www.urbandictionary.com...
Rebuttals:
1. "A lot of problems or emotional baggage that can drag you down."- Anyone can have emotional baggage, it's not just older people. A younger person can be at a higher emotional level than the older person (like I said before), and have more emotional baggage.
2. "If they are younger the older person most likely won't want to listen to what they have to say or take advice from someone who is younger then them."- That "dominant partner" struggle is present in any relationship-whether the partner is smarter, more mature, or older, there's one in every relationship. They just have to overcome it.
3. The second of my opponent's paragraphs I had already explained in the first round. (See maturity)

Arguments:
1. The bottom line is, every relationship has things to overcome, but if they can overcome them, it only makes the relationship stronger.
http://www.notjustthekitchen.com...
2. And believe it or not, relationships with age gaps are very common these days. The way you were raised just determines if you accept it or not.
"There is no such thing as young or old, only younger and older. You will always have someone younger than you and you will always have someone older than you."
http://latestdud.hubpages.com...
Debate Round No. 2
smaher1

Pro

The younger lover can be immature. Sometimes, young lovers are such perfectionists that they seek all sorts of things that you can't give. This is why, if you want to go out with someone younger, make sure that he or she is mature for his or her age. The life experience is definately a big part of the relationship. Usually by mid to late 20's you have basically seen most everything in your life a time or two. 18 year olds, for their own sake, I hope have not seen most of that.

Arguments:
1. There will always be someone older or younger but it's usually not over anywhere between 3-5 years difference.

The most important factor to understand is that although our bodies will show our age to a certain degree, age is most significant when it relates to maturity. Whether you find yourself to be the younger or the older person in a relationship, take into account whether your maturity levels match. You may find in life that a fifty year old and a thirty year old can be very similar in regard to their maturity level. This all depends on their life experiences, personal outlooks and goals.
link:http://www.realsexedfacts.com...
Mak-zie

Con

Match.com has found that relationships actually work best when the male is older.

And, tests at Georgia Health Services University show that "overall studies show there isn't much difference between couples in age-discrepant relationships and those who aren't," according to Dr. Mirsad Serdarevic.
http://chronicle.augusta.com...

I can't stress enough that age makes little or no difference on the relationship. The only problem that it might have are people frowning upon their age difference, but true love overcomes it, as it does in all relationships.
Debate Round No. 3
smaher1

Pro

I agree completely that in a relationship the male should be older, it usually works better but I don't think if the male is that much older that it would work out so well.

Despite our fascination with them, then, big age gaps aren't common. Whether or not they work depends on normal relationships rules. Kutcher once said, "The real trick is putting yourself around people you admire.

link: http://www.guardian.co.uk...
Mak-zie

Con

Points on which my opponent and I have agreed on:
1. Love matters in relationships.
2. That relationships work best when the male is older.

Rebuttals:
"Despite our fascination with them, then, big age gaps aren't common. Whether or not they work depends on normal relationships rules."
Statistics show that there are exactly 858,000 married couples in the U.S. where the husband is 15-19 years older than his wife.
Statistics show that there are exactly 161,000 married couples in the U.S. where the wife is 15-19 years older than her husband.
http://www.mindtheagegap.com...
Debate Round No. 4
smaher1

Pro

We both agree on: love matters in a relationship and that relationships are better when the male is older.

In the United States, men are usually are older than women at first marriage. For 44% of the births occurring in 1988, for example, the father was three or more years older than the mother. Sixty percent of mothers aged 15-17 and 51% of those aged 18-19 reported that the father of their child was at least three years older than they were.

I agree that there can be at least two or three years different but I just don't agree to be anywhere between five to ten years age difference.

*When adolescents younger than 18 are involved with men who are substantially older than they are, differences between partners in such factors as maturity, life experience, social position, financial resources and physical size may make such relationships inherently unequal, and the young women may therefore be vulnerable to abuse and exploitation by their partners.

link:http://www.guttmacher.org...
Mak-zie

Con

My opponent has re-stated a lot of their arguments, so I will re-state my rebuttals:

1. I agree that maturity is a serious factor in relationships, but would like to point out that it is not nessacarily determind by age. For example, a fifty-year-old and a twenty-year-old could be in a relationship and at the same maturity level.
2. If you're in a relationship with a guy or girl that takes advantage of you or abuses you, it makes no difference what you're situation is, they'll do that no matter what, and that's not a good person to be in a relationship with anyway.
3. Anyone can have emotional baggage, it's not just older people. A younger person can be at a higher emotional level than the older person, and have more emotional baggage.
4. That "dominant partner" struggle is present in any relationship-whether the partner is smarter, more mature, or older, there's one in every relationship. They just have to overcome it.
5. Relationships with age gaps are very common these days. The way you were raised just determines if you accept it or not.
6. Love is the only factor that should really matter in relationships.

So, in conclusion, age does not matter in relationships. The only determining factor is love and happiness. And for us to say it is wrong for a 45-year-old to be married to a 23-year-old is wrong. It is not our place for us to judge them just as it is not our place to judge two married people that are different races.

Also, please note that my opponent said this: "Whether or not they work depends on normal relationships rules. Kutcher once said, The real trick is putting yourself around people you admire."-My opponent is saying here that age-gap-relationships can work, depending on who you put yourself around, people who will not accept it or those people who really love you that will accept and support what you do no matter what.

Finally to close this debate: "In fact their age gap may actually make them more evenly matched," as said by the Christian dating guide. I wish my opponent the best.
http://www.christian-dating-guide.com...
Debate Round No. 5
10 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by miel 6 months ago
miel
I need an idea guys. What if the woman is 8 years older than a guy?
Posted by L.will 1 year ago
L.will
"Match.com has found that relationships actually work best when the male is older."
Could Mak-zie possibly cite this? I'm working on a research paper and can't locate this information at Match.com.
Posted by crystal22 1 year ago
crystal22
I am 18 years old and i am dating a 27 year old. I think i am more mature then him sometimes. but i would have to agree that the maturity level is really all that matters. if you love someone then that is all that should matter and if you surround yourslef with people who are ok with it then it will work out. we have been together for 9 months now and things are better than ever. He has never physically or mentally abused me. and everyone in my lie is ok with our relationship. also my parents were 9 years apart and they have been together 20 years and they are still together and going strong. so in my opinion age really doesnt matter its just the way you were raised and people will think what they want but if your happy and the people who matter i your life are happy for you then it will work. i have seen it and i am now experiencing it.
Posted by Orphan 2 years ago
Orphan
Depends relationship based. Love: does not matter. Experimental: matter may. Other purposes: possibly. Circumstance makes topic vague.
Posted by Jbrownell 2 years ago
Jbrownell
I think that age does matter in a relationship. When there is a huge age gap in a relationship, those two people have different maturity levels and are at different points in there life. I think that the relationship wouldnt last if they were at different maturity levels.
Posted by kelsey.elly 2 years ago
kelsey.elly
I think age matters but only because of maturity levels and where you are at in your life. A 14 year old and a 80 year old dating wouldn't work because they are at different points in their life. That relationship would not last.
Posted by syrjasam 2 years ago
syrjasam
I think it does matter. Just imagine a 14 year old dating a 80 year old
Posted by Dirtboy345 2 years ago
Dirtboy345
I feel that age definitely does matter in a relationship, moreso when you're young rather than old though.
Posted by smaher1 2 years ago
smaher1
okay!!
Posted by lannan13 2 years ago
lannan13
I'll take you on in an Abortion debate
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by PlanetTutTutTurtle 2 years ago
PlanetTutTutTurtle
smaher1Mak-zieTied
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Reasons for voting decision: I agreed with Pro before but Con won me over with better arguments and better sources. Tied on spelling and grammar.
Vote Placed by Jhate 2 years ago
Jhate
smaher1Mak-zieTied
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Reasons for voting decision: i cant one side this haha good debate im pulled a little bit towards con but pro is just as convincing good job to both, ill give both apoint