Dolphins enjoy wearing turtleneck sweaters
Debate Rounds (3)
-All shall be revealed when my opponent is decided upon.-
With that, I leave it to my opponent to describe the rules of this debate.
- Moving on to my opponents other senseless claims we find that my opponent believes dolphins to be greatly fond of the "monocle" and "top hats" and in some cases they don the attire of "rebellious teens" tossing aside the assumption that my opponents tells no lies I must ask my opponent for the proof of this claim. for without such evidence i will be forced to question this point for the rest of my life, most likely to go completely unanswered for many years.-
- As to the rules of this debate... you know the moose, there are no rules. Now for my evidence-
-I have created this debate with the easily questioned claim that dolphins do enjoy the wearing of turtleneck sweaters. Though many of you may question the validness of this claim I can assure you that it is without false.  As you can see in the picture I bring forth, the dolphin is clearly seen with a great and illustrious smile whilst wearing one of the finest turtleneck sweaters seen on this side of the solar system, Upon resting your eyes on such a sight, how do you possibly deny that dolphins enjoy the touch of a turtleneck sweaters fine fabric upon them, of this.. I ask my opponent.-
-Also on a side note we have this . In this picture we see the one and only spider-man enlisting the great dolphin species to help him in his great advertising for his latest line of fabulous clothing articles. If you have ever seen one of his many commercials then you would know that spider-man has a famous quote said once during each commercial to provide the audience with a great life lesson, here is a commercial for your viewing posted above... As you can see his insurmountable greatness left us all with a life changeing quote.. "everybody gets one" This leaves his audience to question how they live life.. and reminds them all that everybody gets one life, and that you must live it to the fullest. The dolphin signifies the freedom of which to enjoy all of life as free as can be and that no matter what, enjoy what you ave, and what the dolphins have.. are freedom, the open ocean, the speed of a raging giraffe, and turtleneck sweaters... -
-So i ask of my opponent one question. Do you still believe that a dolphin can not enjoy the comfort of a turtleneck sweater?-
-I await my opponents surely crushing response-
 The video
Dolphins are considered the most intelligent creatures in the sea. This, however, does not seem to satisfy our ocean dwelling friends as they have always desired to be the most intelligent creatures in the world and indeed replace man in that respect. In fact, at a dolphinarium, a man standing by the pool's window noticed that a dolphin calf was watching him. When he released a puff of smoke from his cigarette, the dolphin immediately swam off to her mother, returned and released a mouthful of milk, causing a similar effect to the cigarette smoke. With this in mind, it is conceivable that the Dolphins burning desire to emulate man would push him to the extreme measure of actually wearing a turtleneck sweater. There are, however, problems with this. (7)
First let's examine the evidence presented by my opponent which is a ‘staged" picture of a dolphin with a woven article of clothing around its "neck". While I concede that this is indeed fabric of some sort, it cannot be a turtleneck sweater. The deep blue water in the background of this so-called evidence indicates this picture was taken in the Caribbean or perhaps even southern Florida. It is common knowledge that the hot arid climate in either of these locations would prohibit the wearing of a sweater let alone the enjoyment of wearing this article of clothing by these intelligent creatures.
Miriam -Webster defines a sweater as: 1: one that sweats or causes sweating 2 a : a knitted or crocheted jacket b : a heavy jersey worn in ice hockey.
Since our "Delphinus capensis" or long nose dolphin friends do not sweat or participate in ice hockey my opponent would have you believe that this is a knitted or crocheted jacket.
Miriam- Webster defines a jacket as: 1 a : a garment for the upper body usually having a front opening, collar, lapels, sleeves, and pockets.
It is clear from the picture submitted that the garment worn in my opponents picture clearly does not meet the definition as it does not have sleeves because our dolphin friend does not have arms to fill them.
As to my assertion that dolphins actually prefer top hats and monocles, let me elaborate. Being at the top of the intellectual food chain mandates that dolphins consider themselves superior to their fellow oceanic dwellers. I submit that it is only logical, that a creature with such great intelligence would not lower itself, by wearing an article clothing such as a turtleneck sweater commonly worn by those of lesser intellectual and social stature. I respectfully submit the following articles as evidence to back up my claims.
5.http://girl-on-the-moon.deviantart.com... (can you find the dolphin?)
The overwhelming evidence that has been submitted answers, once and for all, the question that has plagued mankind for generations. The issue can finally be put to rest that dolphins do not wear, and could not enjoy wearing turtleneck sweaters. It has been shown through evidentiary submittals that dolphins indeed prefer tophats and monocles, except for those rebellious youngsters. It must be stated, however, that I did not happen upon this debate by accident, I found it on porpoise.
frenchmoosetwo forfeited this round.
For the voters, let me submit a final piece of evidence. Here we have a dolphin-human hybrid who obviously inherited his fine dolphins' sense of fashion. He is not wearing a turtleneck sweater.
However, my dear opponent, let me assure you not to be disheartened by my overwhelming amount of evidence proving that dolphins in fact wear top hats and monocles rather than turtleneck sweaters. We can always take great solace that dolphins will continue to wear top hats and monocles as long as tree-toed sloths will wear polo shirts and visors.
Thank you to my opponent and any readers we may have. I hope you will remember my argument as well as my opponent's forfeiture.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Cliff.Stamp 5 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: Enjoyable performance from both, this would have been hard to decide without the forfeit 3:1 for Con.
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