Donald Trump vs Bernie Sanders Rap Battle, 600th Debate Spectacular
Debate Rounds (4)
To celebrate the landmark occasion I have decided to host a political rap battle with the one and only Airmax1227, since only he has both the rap battle skills and the worthiness to throw down in this, my 600th and final debate
I'm Imabench and I will be representing Donald Trump.
Airmax1227 will be representing Bernie Sanders
4000 characters per round.
Full 72 hours between rounds.
First round is for acceptance only.
Voting will be decided by one judge and one judge only. This judge will have sole discretion in deciding who wins this rap battle, may the force be with him.
Time to get going and stump, my opponent's Trump, so get ready to feel the Bern.
And all the haters think my - Supporters are racists,
This country"s number one - That's how it"s always been
If you vote me for Prez - Then I'll make it great again
My name is Donald Trump - and I"m the Alpha Male
If I'm up against Hillary - I'll chuck her a** in jail
She thinks she can beat me? She might as well bail
She can't even figure out - How to use her email
I lead in every poll - I dominate debates
When Thett3 watches me - He likes to mast-ur-bate
My poll lead is massive - Ted Cruz can go bite me
Who is Lindsey Graham and what the hell's a Chris Christie?
Rubio and Huckabee? - Perry, Carson, Kasich?
All of them can take a knee - And suck my orange d*ck
I'm a billionaire tycoon - And I'm really, really rich
Jeb Bush is a baby - And all he does is B*TCH
But this crazy nut Bernie - Holy crap is this guy old
He reminds me of a house - That is overrun with mold
He's ancient, he's slow - And his speeches really blow
If he thinks he can rap, then I'll show them who's a pro
Bernie is a lunatic - He wants to tax everything
What we really need to do - Is cut our damn spending
He wants to tax the mega rich - He wants Medicare for all
All I wanna do is build a motherf*cking wall
This country needs a leader - Who will never retreat
Bernie hides in a corner - When you mention 'Wall Street'
He hates all the bankers - Thinks THEYRE the enemy
I know every one of them - Theyre all a friend to me
We need to secure our borders - And put China in its place,
Say 'no deal' to Iran - And blow ISIS into space
And what is Bernie's plan to - Solving all these problems?
'Tax the 1% and hope that that will somehow solve them!'
If Bernie becomes prez - Then trust me we're screwed
I could never live in a country - That is run by the jews
He's going bald and senile - His fans live in denial
I would move to Canada - ......But only for a while
So elect me as Prez - Im the man for the job
We'll kick out Obama - Make the whiny liberals sob
Im one of a kind - Aint nobody like me
And If i'm the nominee - Ill kick the sh** out of Bernie
I'm an old school politico, fightin' the status quo, from morning 'til dawn,
Fightin' the lobby, like it's my hobby, but still stay off my lawn,
Been here awhile, so I've got the flash and the style, to take down The Don.
You know my name, because I play the game, yeah, I'm the next Prez,
This bloviating jokster, less useful than an antique coaster, he'll sink like the Exxon Valdez,
Bombastic ranter, with his unique banter, especially funny when he's chillin' in Juarez,
But I get it, and don't forget it, just listen to everything that this fool says.
I'm an outside shot, but I'm the best you've got, since Hils offering up secrets of state,
Can't figure out e-mail, should be going to jail, I'm this nations best ultimate fate,
I am the political mind, the rest should be fined, and we shouldn't have to wait,
I'm the independent, against an eventual defendant, so get on board before it's too late.
I'm the best of the Dem pool, not a corporate tool, just give me your vote,
Fightin' billionaires, make sure everyone shares, I'll give you their coat,
Let's sail to prosperity, by government charity, just get in the boat,
I'm the candidate for reform, changin up what's the norm, but I don't like to gloat.
You calling me old, don't be so cold, it means politics is a game I know how to play,
Can't say the same for you, so don't hate on this Jew, I know how I can make you pay,
So you've never been elected, keep on being rejected, What else is there to say,
I fight establishment goons, and the bloviating loons, so I can make the Trump go away.
I'm the real player, in the senate and as a mayor, don't forget I've been to the show,
Trumps a birther, probly a flat earther, the prez campaign is the only part he'll ever know,
I'm a leader cuz I've lead, Trump just runs for prez instead, I've got more skill in just my big toe,
Trump you've got some game, but only cuz we know your name, so it's now time for you to go.
Time to rebuild this great nation, take out the crooks on vacation, tax and spend,
Help the middle class, boot out Trump on his mass, we can be great again my friend,
Trump is a fool, a corporate tool, time to send him to school, and let's continue that trend,
Trump and Hil are done, dump the senate and congress for fun, and only ask will it Blend?
Time for this election, trump just offers deflection, so vote for what's right,
I've got the past, Trump's popularity wont last, I offer a future that is far more bright,
I've got the vision, to make every decision, Trumps got the speech, but I've got the sight,
Trump can keep up the talk, and I'll keep walking the walk, yeah, I'm up for this fight.
Next thing you'll say is you got skills like Lebron.
I've met with the Don, I do business with him
To say you're alike only makes you look dim
The Don has got style - The Don has got class
Every person he knows - Likes to kiss, his, a**
But nobody respects YOU - Nobody fears YOU
Cause who could ever fear - Some bald-headed Jew?
You'll rebuild America - Via tax and spend?
Socialism is simply - A damn stupid trend
If you want high taxes - Then f*ck off to Europe
You can come back home, when you learn to MAN UP
'Feel the bern'? You think that that's clever?
Maybe to losers getting high in Denver
This is America - The home of the brave
And your little fans - Need to learn to behave
And what's this I hear - About 'welcoming Muslims?'
All they do is cause - People mo' problems
This nation was founded - By Christians and whites
Letting in Muslims just - Simply aint right
You talk mad sh** for some,
Loser from Vermont.
What's that state got that I could,
Ever even want?
Your state is expendable,
Its income is negligible
And your lines are so bad, that
None of it is legible
You think that you're strong - Yet you cant climb a ladder
Your speeches get hijacked - By 'Black Lives Matter'
If that happened with me - Id throw them all in jail
And then laugh as they cry - Because they cant pay bail
I got Palin in my corner - And the GOP in horror
And you can bet your a** - That I'll lock up the border
I got a revolution - And I'm leading in the polls
Your 'revolution' only makes my eyes roll
I'm so far ahead - It's not even a race
But Bernie cant get his a** - Out of second place
You're losing to Clinton, Bill's crazy old wife
And you cant win a state, to save your old life.
Yeah you got New Hampshire - But hey, so did I
And in South Carolina - Im riding at a high
But you're getting whipped - And by Hillary too
If you choose to drop out - it was nice knowing you ;*
Let's break it down, I'll beat this clown, I've got the ambition,
Trump sayin' stuff, hopin' that's enough, but I'll bring it to fruition,
I'm antique cool, giving away free school, no more payin' tuition.
Don's got style? I've got the Fonz on speed-dial, can't touch this swag,
The chosen in my corner, dig it up like Jack Horner, this thing's in the bag,
Trump only talkn' smack, sounds like he's smokin' the crack, yeah he's a drag,
But don't anyone worry, soon he'll be in a hurry, to be waving the white flag.
Surrendering to Sanders, like anyone else that he slanders, it's a sure bet,
Trump can talk all day, with nothing to say, I haven't heard him say something yet,
Scared of the "others", trying to deport all your mothers, The Don's the real threat,
He's sayin' I'm old, giving you all fools gold, while he's just selling you debt.
I'll be creating jobs, ruminating like Hobbes, while you are just perspired,
Don't think I'm clever, get used to saying never, your time here has expired,
You keep getting burned, I've got the resume' earned, and the knowledge required,
You know what it's about, cuz the people will all shout, "Hey Donnie, you're fired".
Talking smack about my state, think that'll make me irate, which state is yours?
I've been elected to work, no one's selecting this jerk, so go finish your chores,
Think that's an order, you are just closing the border, while I'm opening up doors.
Time for you to cease, since I'll be making peace, while you are just starting wars.
You've got Palin backing your run, HA! don't make me laugh son, I've already got the best,
Wozniak the Apple guy, Jessie Ventura I don't know why, but let's go through the rest,
Both Ben and Jerry, gettin' endorsed by the dairy, so ice cream will help on this quest,
Patch Adams is for Sanders, I'd probly get Ned Flanders, as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can attest.
But why stop there, I've got my fair share, so many endorsements to make me thrive,
I'm sure you're annoyed, I've got Roger Waters from Pink Floyd, your corner is barely alive,
Ronda Rousey ya know, plus NFL's Chad Ochocinco, yeah, that's number eighty-five,
Guess I'm not too wiley, since I don't got Bill O'reilly, but I still know how to do it live.
I'll leave it there, since it's just so unfair, your Palin got trumped oh so hard,
I'm changing the rules, Trump's playin for fools, I'll beat him until he gets scarred,
He'll play the whole deck, but just look like a wreck, until he's played his last card,
Don't like my style, then just stay awhile, I'm Berning you up 'til you're charred.
Id like to thank you all - For reading along
Even if you're here - Cause you can't find your bong
But before I sign off - Id just like, to, say
That I am the winner - Of this battle today
Bernie's rhymes are whack - They can't be deciphered
He sounds like Clinton - If you somehow drugged her
Now I'm not Bill Cosby - I dont swing like that
But I would still prefer - To beat her with a bat
I'm gonna win it all - Coming this November
I'll beat the GOP - Which we'll all remember
But on the other side - You won't see Bernie
He'll lose to Hillary - Which I can guarantee
I won in New Hampshire - And I'm leading everywhere
Bernie won there too - Now he's leading nowhere
This guy is a hack! - He's Senile! A tool!
If he thinks he'll win - Then he's surely a fool
His entire platform - Is to tax and spend,
He uses the word 'free' - And does it to no end
He has no idea what - Makes America is rich
If you don't elect me - We'll become Europe's b*tch
I wont let that happen - I'll make America great
Our leaders may be stupid - But its not too late
Whem I become prez - Which can only be fate
I'll fix everything - Even Bernie's prostate
Shout out to Scalia - The conservative O.G..................................... (OG = Original Gangsta')
The man died today - As right wing as can be
A true conservative - And a favorite to me
Let us pause and say - May he rest in peace
Speaking of dying - Let's look at our age
I may be Sixty-Nine - But man I can rage
But Bernie over there - Is now Seventy-Four
He could very well die - Before we hit July 4!
So for one last time - I'll repeat my stances
I'll lock down our borders - And I'll cut all our taxes
I'll get tough with China - Blow Isis into space
And make whites feel like - The superior race
Bernie is a moron - No idea what to do
He's a damn socialist - And he's one of the Jews
Everyone else running - Against me they all lose
I'm the very best - You can ask Fox News
If it's truly your last, in an historical past, then you've ended in your prime.
If there's really no more, life's a little bit more of a chore, and that is a crime,
It's been fun, but I guess you are done, so I'll continue to school you at rhyme.
Don't like my verses, I know who the worst is, I'm the best and couldn't be greater,
It's just something habitual, a smoothly genuine ritual, so don't be a true hater,
You're getting solidly beat, before your electoral defeat, just call me the dictator,
I'm red white and blue, apple pie with liberty too, and you're just a traitor.
I've got the policies, to be the big cheese, while you've only got the substance-less speech,
I've got the inside game, the three point name, and you've heard 'bout the long reach,
I can win votes in my sleep, take a nap in an electoral sweep, then just tan on the beach,
My supporters know this, the Bern man can't miss, I've got a voice that they just want to preach.
I'm good enough to say relax, win even when promising to tax, I just simply can't lose,
Can't be taken down, insert any random noun, I got the money, the skills, and I got the Jews,
I'll take on Trump, get a big polling bump, beat Hillary, Jeb and then defeat Ted Cruz,
I've got the style, been here for awhile, we all know which is clearly the right man to choose.
Agreed on your Scalia remembrance, nothing here but deference, the man played his role,
Genuine to his vision, in each court decision, while I may disagree that is certainly the goal,
Perhaps a conservative ideologue, but that creates the needed dialogue, until it took its toll,
But I'm not here for the court, nothing of the sort, so let's carry on with this Don Trump troll.
This guy hasn't governed for an hour, and now he wants power, that's what we should fear,
I might be a bit unorthodox, might like bagels with lox, but I still get all the fans to cheer,
You're just a flashy candidate, some love and some hate, but this is the end of your political career,
This guy with the history, or this Don that's a mystery, I think it's obvious that the decision is clear.
So you think I'm old, yeah we've already been told, I will outlast whatever you bring,
I know foreign affairs, you'll just face constant blank stares, even if you've got the bling,
I'm running for president, not just White House resident, this isn't just my election fling,
Repeat and rinse, you are the bloviating prince, while I'll still always remain the king.
Time to bring the ending segue, before we go away, it's really been fun and great,
You've clearly felt The Bern, so I hope you will finally learn, before it's too late,
I'm the man for the job, Trump's just an outspoken slob, and that is his very best trait,
Vote the very best, ignore the craziness of the rest, and finally thanks for this debate.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by TBR 8 months ago
|Who won the debate:||-||-|
Reasons for voting decision: From the very beginning I found that Pro's lines were much easier to read than Con's. It was very easy to tap my foot along to Pro's lines while reading them, whereas con went with a completely different layout for his lyrics that did not flow smoothly at all. In terms of actual savagery, Pro also wins on this point, since Con's confusing wordplay often took the burn out of the shots they fired back at Trump. The disses themselves were great on both sides, its just that Con's layout made it so that Pro did not 'Feel the Burn' from them.... I whole-heartedly believe Pro won the debate, but I have to rule this as a tie because I am a shill for Bernie Sanders and cannot tolerate any criticism of him or his policies. Fantastic debate still, instant Hall of Fame contender.
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