Epic Rap Battles of History: The Joker VS. Batman
Debate Rounds (5)
Why So Serious, Batman?
This is a rap battle. Because we are the same, Batman. We ate both just FREAKS. But I wouldn't kill you. What would I do without you?
FIRST ROUND= ACCEPTANCE
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? WELL YOU WILL HERE.
No vulgarity, Bats. We both know how much I hate that.
You may use your wonderful toys here. By toys I mean rhymes. IF YOU HAVE ANY! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
YOU GET AN ASSISTANT IN THE 3rd ROUND:
Mine will be Two-Face. Your's is Your choice! How wonderful!
HAHA. But you may only pick out of these: ROBIN or ALFRED.
I see you make a rhyme, but no rhythm, which leads me to believe that you're going through a schism, but you may just have to take a step or two back, and allow me to deliever this lyrical slap.
I'm serious because you've become a real menace, attacking innocent people and paying no penance.
You have no fear because you're a twisted maniac, although your insanity is nothing against a brainiac.
Every day, you kill just to provoke a fight, but you'll soon find your butt handed to you by the Dark Knight.
You're a sick man messed up in the mind, where your sanity went, I can't find.
Crown Prince of Crime? More like the Fresh-Prince of Bel-Air, not surprising, with that mop you call hair.
This battle was over before it begun! My rhymes are sending you on the run, and when it's all said and done, we'll look back on this day, and see that I won.
Oh Batman, it's seem as if you've forgot, that it's your fault that I am who you are not. My white skin is because of you, same with the hair. It is something you have done to me which I cannot repair. My insanity that is as dirty as a profanity is because of you, too; if it wasn't for you, Gotham's crime level would be in the few. Half of gotham's villains are basically your fault, and you're the reason my sanity is at a halt.
You're the reason I fell into that acid tub. But the games have just begun, bub. Take it away, two-face!
REMEMBER BATMAN, NEXT ROUND ROBIN OR ALFRED WILL RAP, BUT NOT YOU.
It seems most of your rap was complaining about one thing, so much that you ceased to rap and started to sing, addicted to me like a baby with a teething ring.
Oh, it seems you are whining to me, about you overreacting and getting insanity.
But it would do you good to know, that you will reap the seeds you've sown.
Since you're a villain gone mad with power, I've made it my job to make you cower.
You say the crime rate is my fault, but nobody asked you to begin you assault, so I suggest you take that with a grain of salt.
It seems you are a maladjusted individual, with the grudges you hold becoming residual, so much that it permanently screws up your brain, so badly it puts James Holmes to shame.
So with that I end this rap, after I've clearly drawn your demise a map, so try to beat me, I doubt you can, for what you seem to forget, is that I'M THE BATMAN.
AUTHORS NOTE: Haha. Too bad for you. You missed your chance to rap as Robin or Alfred. But I didn't miss my chance, so please give a warm welcome my good buddy: TWO-FACE!!!!! P.S. This is the only round Two-Face will be in. The joker will be next round.
Yo, yeah, I am two-faced. And my rhymes are much more than just "fast-paced". I'm the line between evil and good; defeating me is something that you never could. I'm so slick, my rhymes will make you sick. I'm the master of disaster, and the cause of your death. I'll be spittin' out rhymes tell my very last breath. My alignment is Neutral, meaning I fight for both sides. Such as Joker and you, but now I'm choosing of the evil of the two. Seems like you were talkin' to joker in your last response, because you missed your chance to play differently in this nonce. Therefore, you better give up for your strengths are few, and bow down to the clown prince of crime and the man of two!
Authors note: No, actually, I didn't miss my chance. You said "the next round", not "the next half of the current round".
At any rate, let's go back to normal for the remaining rounds.
Hello, it's me, the british servant of the bat, coming to deliver you a destructive rap.
Oh look who we have here, a hideous beast, what happened to you, did the vultures have a feast?
Look at you, Two-Face, you're just a disgrace. I'm here to put the Joker's lap dog in his place.
In case you didn't notice, the lap dog is you, the one who looks worse than the waste in the loo!
I can't help but notice the peculiar relationship the joker has with master.
It seems almost fragile, similar to plaster.
I don't necessarily think they are enemies. They are more like the clown fish and the anenome.
Although the Joker treats him like an annoying older brother, neither one can live, without the other.
Anyway, back to the so called "man", who can't even keep his life-story in a can.
Like anyone wants to hear about your alignment, perhaps your personality is like your face, in desperate need of refinement.
It's nice to see you've picked the side of the Joker, who turned traitor on you like a Wall Street broker.
It seems you are not good at picing friends. Perhaps it is time to make amends? Oh wait, I forgot, master told me to give it to you straight, we've got bigger fish to fry, we've got villians to deface, nobody has time for a traitor with a double-face.
Author's Note: Terribly sorry to confuse you. What I meant when I said next round in round 3 was your next rebuttal, and that is why two-face spoke in round 4. Also at the beginning I said you would have an assistant in round 3, I did mean just you. Mine was in round 4. Anyways, it was good to hear from Alfred, so here's the joker!
Hahaha Batman, thinking you're so cool, but you're just a fool. With many a hap and your little old british chap. I've got so much more than crumpets and tea, you see, tee hee hee! I'm still the clown prince of crime. You aren't the prince of anything, last time I looked. So sit back and watch, 'cause you're gonna get hooked. You're a member of the justice league, but you're getting so old that I'm getting some fatigue.
Alfred, you say Two-Face's face is bad, but just look at yours, old lad. It's god wrinkles, and it's giving me the tinkles.Get ready for round 5, batman, but being good is something to which you could never strive.
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You dare insult my british servant, you, who can't even use detergent?
You may be the crown prince of crime, but you're gonna do a lot of hard time.
What do you mean the last time you looked? Why should I trust any statement from the mouth of a crook?
Why do you looked so shocked, so tense? Didn't you know you are a common criminal, no more no less?
That's right, I'm a member of the justice league, tell me, when have you ever not been picked last for a team?
Oh yeah, never, because you're a criminal no one will remember. My name will go down as history, as a man who solved a great many mysteries, while you will be written as a screwed up man, with nothing to show but a few card, and a van.
I don't want to be a prince, I don't need any fame, because I'm not that selfish, and a don't need everyone to know my name, because I'm not a attention hog, and I'm not a celeberty. Hey, I just had an epiphane, the reason you hide behind a mask of insanity, is to hide a rather small trait of masculinity, I mean, seriously, with all that make up, you look like a botched up sex-changed tranny.
Now that this rap is completely finished, with my raps being like popeye with spinach, I think we need to come to a concession, that perhaps your Joker face hides sexual tension, which is why you are always giving in to other urges, to dismiss the fact that you are a virgin, that will never get laid, and while my raps get better, yours continue to fade.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Cobo 3 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: Lyrically speaking Pro didn't come out solid in the first round and every round the Con came out stronger. I will give the pro some credit as their verses were improving as the battle went on, but that was in part from the Con's verses being consistently strong.
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