The Instigator
joetehgirl
Pro (for)
Winning
16 Points
The Contender
Sweatingjojo
Con (against)
Losing
14 Points

Ethan will get laid before Rohan.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/17/2008 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 9 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 1,158 times Debate No: 3675
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (5)
Votes (7)

 

joetehgirl

Pro

Just so people know, this is debate that's just for fun.
anyway, let's get started:
I stand in concurrence wif the statement that "Ethan will get laid before Rohan"
Before i continue, i would like to offer the following definitions:
Ethan: the twitchy, McCain-loving, skinny little kid in the LR4N6 team whose description will remain vague in order to protect him from sexual predators (who would be inclined to rape him since he's just too sexy for his pants.)
Rohan: the tall, Republican-wanna be in the LR4N6 team whose description will also remain vague for his own safety...and becasue he doesn't know we're debating this right now. ahaha.
get laid: the act of having sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite gender.

Contentions:
1. Ethan is currently loved and adored by most people, especially those of the female species....er, gender. He has many friends and few serious enemies. also, many girls love Ethan. As observed today, two asian girls fought over Ethan's attention and love during debate club even though Ethan did nothing to provoke them and was simply trying to do work. This only proves that Ethan is just too sexy for his pants.

2. In comparison, Rohan is unloved by girls. Though it must be admitted that Rohan has many friends, he lacks the skill to obtain any female admirers. If you look around during an average day, ethan gets more action than Rohan ever will hope to get.
Sweatingjojo

Con

My argument rests on the fact that Rohan is considerably less awkward than Ethan.
Although ethan may be cute as a button, Rohan will be the one who will get some, because he doesn't act like an idiot.
There is simply no denying that Rohan has more potential to pick up chicas than ethan does, because of Rohan's ability to charm people, and Ethan's inability to make basic conversation.
Ethan twitches a lot too, and although I guess that could add to the cuteness factor, its actually really weird, and would definitely impede in his ability to get it on.
Rohan, doesn't twitch.
Also, Rohan is tall, and slender, and Indian.
Ethan is small, and white.
Rohan is a vegetarian as well, which many chicks dig.
Ethan on the other hand loves eating him some meat.

3 reasons, ethan's got no game, Rohan is more physically attractive, and Rohan is a vegetarian.
Ethan will not be the first to get laid, between him and Rohan.
Debate Round No. 1
joetehgirl

Pro

My opponent states that "Although ethan may be cute as a button, Rohan will be the one who will get some, because he doesn't act like an idiot." However, if that were true, why is it that more girls can be seen crowding around Ethan and committing sexually inappropriate acts to Ethan while Rohan sits in a little corner singing the "pickle ball" song?

My opponent also aruges that Rohan has the "ability to charm people" while Ethan lacks the ability "to make basic conversation." However, Ethan is actually rather social in that he regularly has a few parties every now and then and many people go to it and have a groovy time.

Though it is true that Ethan does indeed twitch alot, that is exactly what makes him so unique and adorable whereas guys like Rohan are so common they're on sale, 50% off. Buy one get one free. if you know what i mean.
Rohan, doesn't twitch.

Also, race has nothing to do wif the matter. Simply because Ethan is white does not mean he can't have as much fun during sexual love-making time as Rohan. As a matter of fact, more people wish to commit happy fun-time wif Ethan since he's so silly and cute and overall groovy. A recent survey taken by local statistician and researcher, Professor T. N., states that "2 out of 3 girls in LR4N6 finds Ethan to be ridiculously adorable." Also, I happen to be a vegetarian and i can safely say that being a vegetarian is a limited factor in the getting-laid process. Not many people will run up searching for vegetarians to bang, whereas everyone practically throws themself at Ethan.

Furthermore, Ethan has already been shown to get more girls than Rohan, which my opponent fails to argue against. Though in THEORY, perhaps Rohan might possibly somehow have a change, it doesn't matter because we're debating about the real world, not the imaginary world. And in the REAL world, Ethan's the one having girls run out of nowhere and sit on his lap while Rohan's having fun wif Gerard, whom no one cares about.

Obviously, Ethan can, and will, get laid before Rohan can. Jesus himself told me so. It says so here, right in the Bible, the book of Ethan, psalm 38792374: "And so the Lord (and Jesus) said unto Ethan, 'Thou shalt recieve unto thine being the joyous love-making of many women before that of Rohan.'"

Thus, the obvious answer here is to vote Pro.
Sweatingjojo

Con

Although it is obvious that Ethan has girls come to him, that does not mean that he has any more sexual prowess than Rohan.
Also, Rohan is a better debater, which makes other debate girls attracted to him, because they want some of the debate skill goodness to be passed unto them vaginally.
Also, it should be noted that in the most recent party that was held by ethan, only one girl attended, setting the ratio of boys to girls at about 8 to 1. This one girl even left early.
Rohan's most recent party had a better boys to girls ratio, of about 4 to 1. This exhibits Rohan's increased ability to get some.
Ethan's twitching is most definetly off putting, as quoted by an English teacher who has a college degree that, 'it is weird.'
Girls don't like things that are really weird, especially when it involves things like eating paper, or pencils.
Weird.
Rohan is on a sports team, and not just any sports team, but a co-ed sports team.
This gives him many opprotunities to woo not only the girl in the stands flashing him, but also the girl on the bench, giving his "back" a "massage" after a "hard" match.
Rohan has much greater potential.
I have a quote from noted evolutionary sociologist J.H. that "2 out of 3 girls in LR4N6 are asian, therefore predispositioned to do things that don't make sense, such as go for a twitching retarded kid."

Gerard also got to third base with one out of three of the girls, so I win.
Debate Round No. 2
joetehgirl

Pro

I would like to point out that both Ethan AND Rohan are awesome debaters and either way, if girls wanted to have Rohan's debating powers "passed onto them vaginally" then why hasn't Rohan gotten any action yet?
Also, if you don't measure an individual's ability to get girls at least to SOME degree by how girls react to an individual already, what else do you meausre it by? While you state that Rohan could get it on, ethan's the one actually LIVING IT. Girls always hug and chase after Ethan. As quoted from the colleage, D.P., of the local statistician and researcher, T.N., "Ethan, will you marry me?" How many other girls are that hungry for a piece of Rohan? The answer, my friends, is ZERO.

My opponent states that "Rohan's most recent party had a better boys to girls ratio, of about 4 to 1." However, these statistcs are skewed in that only five people were invited to begin with. Also, during Ethan's end of the year party of 07, the ratio of boys to girls was about even.

Secondly, the opinion of the English teacher whom my opponent cited in his previous speech can be ignored since said English teacher is about twice the age of both Ethan and Rohan, and thus would have to be a pedifile in order to find Ethan's strangeness cute.

Though it must be admitted that SOME girls might not be able to appreciate the unique and enigmatic aura that comes with a guy who eats pencils and paper, a majority of girls have been shown to like Ethan for his adorable curious habits and oddities. Ethan's strange actions produce a sense of curiousity amongst members of the female gender, giving him an enigmatic presense and dreamy mysteriousness that just increases his sexing potential and boosting his bang-able percentage from 98.6% to 130%, as estimated from http://bpg.stastistics.com....

My opponent argues that Rohan is on a sports team and thus has more of a chance of getting some ntss ntss time. However, i would like to inform my opponent that Ethan is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and can kick Rohan's badminton-team butt.

Though you cite a quote that argues that 2 out of the 3 girls in LR4N6 are asian, the "noted evolutionary sociologist" can't possibly hope to compete against Jesus, who also said that evolution is stupid and that Evolutionary Sociologists with the initials J.H. are helpers of Satan, similar to Santa's helpers with the only difference being that rahter than aiding in the process of giving gifts to little children and living in the North Pole, helpers of satan refuse to acknowledge their incorrect beliefs about Rohan vs. Ethan, as well as steal the souls of countless individuals...and eat baby cats.

vote pro.
Sweatingjojo

Con

First thing's first,
Rohan has WON MORE ROUNDS than ethan has, so clearly he is superior.
The reason why he has not passed on his debate prowess vaginally yet is because of the fact of the matter, which is that the debate girls so far, as Thomas Jefferson stated in his writings "mentally... handicapped" And the idea that the girls that ethan has follow him is proof that he is better is invalid simply because the girls that DO follow him are predispositoned to do things that don't make sense. Also, I have a quote from Ethan himself stating that "I... would... only... do... a girl... who wasn't... pre...dis...position...ed... to do... things that... don't... make sense." He wouldn't do the girls that follow him around, because of their inability to make sense. Even if those girls wanted him, ethan would be wearing a chastity belt, so it wouldn't work.

Although rohan has no potential mates now, he has better potential because he is infact sexier.
Local sexologist Ethan C (yes, the same ethan) said about Rohan 'My, what a fine specimen.'
At Ethan's year end party, there was free soda, which all girls love.
All girls, on the other hand do not love Ethan.
In fact, no girls have time to love ethan, because they're all banging Rohan.
The english teacher of which I cited is of course a proper source, as it indicates that Ethan has no longer term potential for getting a mate.

Actually, there is that one girl who always says "I want my Rohan, and then proceedes to hug him."
This is proof that Rohan gets it indeed.
Rohan actually has the power to eat ethan alive with his badminton skills.
Also, whenever I try to get ethan into a fight with other people that are much bigger than him (like Rohan for instance)in gym class, ethan always backs away, indicating that his black belt is not in Taekwondo, but rather in being a virgin forever.
I continue to affirm the idea that vegetarianism is a plus to getting laid.
Besides, you've admitted many a time that "I have a soft spot for bacon."
what the hell kind of vegetarian likes bacon?
Not you, because you aren't a vegetarian.
Therefore, your opinion on the matter is invalid.

Rohan is also Hindu, which makes girls hot in the pants, because he does something 'unique, but not weird, like eating pencils.'
Ethan is protestant.
Boring.

Also, the evolutionary sociologist need not answer to Jesus because in the old testament, which everyone knows to be up to 45% more true than the new one, (as quoted by God) says that people who are 'not only boring, but also weird, shalt never get laidth, and so shalt die in hell alone.'
This applies to ethan, and not rohan.
My final point, proving Rohan's superiority and also greater ability to get girls is that
Rohan has Super Smash Brothers: Brawl.
Ethan has the older SSB for the Gamecube.
Girls like newer stuff, and are 85%more likely to go to third base on a first date if you tell them that you have super smash brothers: Brawl.*

*As explained by Genesis 1:1, King James Edition

Vote Neg.
Debate Round No. 3
5 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Posted by gahbage 9 years ago
gahbage
its ray
and just because i'm over ethan's house, i am not biased. lol
Posted by joetehgirl 9 years ago
joetehgirl
tru dat, ethan. tru dat.
ahaha if only Rohan had a debate.org account...ahaha.
Posted by LR4N6FTW4EVA 9 years ago
LR4N6FTW4EVA
I have to vote for me, as I am the sexier one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by joetehgirl 9 years ago
joetehgirl
well i'll have you know, i haven't eaten bacon since last summer and i only had it ONCE. it wasn't like i totally broke the vegetarian law...
besides, what do YOU know about being a vegetarian, you Meaty Mcmeat eating Meatface.
Posted by philadam 9 years ago
philadam
u guys both sound like dorks
funny debate though
7 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Vote Placed by pcmbrown 7 years ago
pcmbrown
joetehgirlSweatingjojoTied
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Vote Placed by JBlake 8 years ago
JBlake
joetehgirlSweatingjojoTied
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Vote Placed by Sweatingjojo 8 years ago
Sweatingjojo
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Vote Placed by gahbage 9 years ago
gahbage
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Vote Placed by DrAlexander 9 years ago
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Vote Placed by joetehgirl 9 years ago
joetehgirl
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Vote Placed by philadam 9 years ago
philadam
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