The Instigator
caty44444444
Con (against)
Losing
1 Points
The Contender
lord_megatron
Pro (for)
Winning
3 Points

Family is more important than friends

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
lord_megatron
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/25/2016 Category: People
Updated: 12 months ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 568 times Debate No: 91811
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (10)
Votes (1)

 

caty44444444

Con

Good Morning/Afternoon,
Ladies and gentleman,

Family is not more important than friends because you can choose your friends but you're stuck with your family. We argue that friends are necessary for our emotional and social wellbeing throughout life. Family is important when you are young because they physically look after you, but as you get older - and that is most of your life - family takes a backseat to friends, as we don't need them to look after us. In fact, family is the cause of many problems, and we are stuck with them

In my first round I will be talk about the emotional benefits of friends and in my second round I will talk about the social benefits of friends. And in my third round I will sum up my arguments.

And now to begin my case. Friends are like counsellors - friends share deepest secrets with each other - the secrets that nobody knows not even the family. Friends feel relaxed together - they participate in activities together, they share similar interests and spend lots of time together. Because of this trust develops - you develop confidence, whereas in families there is often competition between siblings for the parents attention. Your sibling often dobs on you to get the upper hand. You sibling may have totally different interests, but you're stuck with them - but friends and compatibility, you choose.

Secondly, friends are generally in the same age group as you and understand the complications in you're life. They too are going through exams, bullying, puberty, romance, marriage, divorce, parenthood etc. They share your experiences and are more tolerant of how you handle things than family are - who are more likely to boss you, preach at you and put you down for your problems. I'd choose a friend for support but I'm stuck with my family. Lastly, you choose friends that understand you, they get you. They may not be exactly like but they respect you, and don't take you for granted. They don't tell you to do chores or expect you to be brilliant. Because you choose each other, you respect each other - more so than if you are stuck with a family member you don't get along with.

Family is not more important than friends, simply because you don't get to choose them - you're stuck with what you're born with - no say in the matter - no control. But friends, you have a choice here, you can pick the ones that make you happy, support you and share you're ups and downs. They are human superglue. I choose friends forever.

This concludes my first round of this debate. I'd like to thank my opponent for accepting this debate challenge. I appreciate any comments and votes. Feel free to challenge me to future debates. Thankyou once again!

Happy Debating,
Caty44444444
lord_megatron

Pro

Since, there is no format for the debate, I would start with the argument and rebuttals in round 1.
Family is more important than friends as family is always with you, friends aren't.
"We argue that friends are necessary for our emotional and social well being throughout life. Family is important when you are young because they physically look after you, but as you get older - and that is most of your life - family takes a backseat to friends, as we don't need them to look after us. In fact, family is the cause of many problems, and we are stuck with them"
Friends cause much more problems than family does. And family has stuck with you through your younger years, yet this is what we think of them when we get old? Old family members can often give valuable advice to help you out in your life, and friends don't help you in any way. Peer pressure happens when your friends force you to do something because everyone does it, and if you don't give into peer-pressure, you are bullied. You might say those aren't true friends, but they are humans as well, and it is common throughout life. Your family won't judge you too much on your choices such as not watching the popular movies or liking lengthy books, but your friends definitely would. Plus, to keep up your social appearances you have to take up lot of stress as well. With family you can be more free as they know you from the start.

"And now to begin my case. Friends are like counsellors - friends share deepest secrets with each other - the secrets that nobody knows not even the family. Friends feel relaxed together - they participate in activities together, they share similar interests and spend lots of time together. Because of this trust develops - you develop confidence, whereas in families there is often competition between siblings for the parents attention. Your sibling often dobs on you to get the upper hand. You sibling may have totally different interests, but you're stuck with them - but friends and compatibility, you choose."
Sharing of secrets can cause trouble as some friends often do blackmailing for their own benefit. And a fallout could result in your secret exposed out of spite. I don't have a sibling, but I know they can be annoying. However, every person knows it is more likely that your friends would betray you rather than your family. Plus, most friends have diverse interests as well as similar ones. And your family can have similar interests due to the same genes and more or less same exposure to different stuff. With friends, you have to develop trust, but you can trust your family members without question.
"Family is not more important than friends, simply because you don't get to choose them - you're stuck with what you're born with - no say in the matter - no control. But friends, you have a choice here, you can pick the ones that make you happy, support you and share your ups and downs. They are human superglue. I choose friends forever."
It has often happened that either us or our friends have changed due to growth in personality, and that so called
"compatibility" falls out. On the other hand, even if your family member's' personality changes, you are with them and can try to fix the crack, or simply wait it out for them to become compatible.
As for emotional and social wellbeing, friends are the one we have fights with, and nearly every enemy once tried to be our friend, or vice-versa. The betrayal of a friend can hurt a lot. Also, friends are the one we pick up our bad habits from. If you are with the group that is into smoking or drinking, eventually you will be coerced into drinking or smoking or be distanced from the group. As well as picking up a few new games, although that is good enough.
Sometimes, just for the need of having a friend, you stick out with someone you don't like and get bothered for a horrible amount of time. Either you confront the fake friend and he turns into your enemy, or you tolerate him. Both cases is a negative outcome. According to me, friends provide more stress than fun, and I am gladly spending my summer break alone at home playing online games all day. Socialization is overrated.
Debate Round No. 1
caty44444444

Con

Good Morning/Afternoon,
Ladies and gentlemen,

The opposition stated that parents can help you when you are going through tough times at school, example, bullying, but I believe that this is not necessarily helpful. Parents can often interfere with problems at school and we are, in fact, better off without them, figuring out the resolutions ourselves.

The opposition also stated that friends often blackmail you. But this is NOT true. Friends are people who you trust and if they blackmail you they are not friends. There is a difference between friends, bullies and acquaintances. If a person blackmails you, they are certainly NOT considered your friend.

And now to continue my argument,
Friends enhance our social life in many ways that your family doesn't. Friends can expose you to different cultures and religions and lifestyles. Having a friend of a different faith to your own encourages you to become more knowledgeable and more tolerant. Rather than sticking to your own kind and closing your mind, a friend of a different faith expresses you to the real world full of different people and different beliefs. This encourages you to become more tolerant, more thinking, more caring for all people not just your own people. You can choose to have an open outlook by choosing your friends but may be stuck with your family's narrow perspective - as we see with certain religious groups like the Amish or many rigid, fundamental, groups.

Friends can expose you to a more multicultural life. We can have friends from different cultures and so learn to enjoy a richer life full of new food, new clothes,. new lifestyles, new stories, new perspectives. Sure your family could take you to a Vietnamese restaurant but having a Vietnamese friend and eating at their house is far more authentic. You meet their family, you talk to the mother about the food, you talk about life in Vietnam, maybe, about their reason for coming here, maybe, about changes they made. This is far richer than going to a Vietnamese restaurant with your family and talking about the same boring stuff again. I choose my friends but I'm stuck with my family.

Friends can increase your social life by introducing you to their friends. This is great because now you have an even greater choice of people in your circle - people who can introduce to new activities like joining them at a concert you may never of considered. You might travel overseas with them and share a lifetime of memories and adventures. Because you choose your friends choose someone who is like minded and will more likely enjoy your travels than being stuck with a family dragging you to places THEY want to visit.

Friends are more fun. They are the company you choose. Families want to protect you by building a fence around you, but a friend builds the gate opening to a bigger, more exciting, more tolerant, more life enhancing world. And for this reason I prefer to choose my friends rather than be stuck with my family.

Thanks for accepting this challenge and good luck for the future of this debate.

Kind Regards,
Caty44444444
lord_megatron

Pro

"Parents can often interfere with problems at school and we are, in fact, better off without them, figuring out the resolutions ourselves."
Say that to the suicide victims. Bullying can crush your self-confidence if you are not in a position to do something about. As seen in the movie Karate Kid, the Chinese kids beat him up and he didn't tell his mother, which resulted in the worse. He got tutored in martial arts, but Miyagi had become like a father he never had. If he hadn't went to an adult, he would have got beaten up for the worse.
"There is a difference between friends, bullies and acquaintances. If a person blackmails you, they are certainly NOT considered your friend."
What con doesn't realize that is people change, and so do relationships. An old acquaintance may become a friend, and an old friend may become a bully. As time passes, people change too. And many friends blackmail just for the fun of it. Suppose I know some bad secret of my friend and I accidentally spill it, my friend can turn into my enemy and blackmail or bully me. Or different interests could lead to a friendship break out and therefore bullying. I lost my friend when I got to know he watched Star wars. I found Star wars pathetic, we had an argument and I have bullied him ever since.
"Sure your family could take you to a Vietnamese restaurant but having a Vietnamese friend and eating at their house is far more authentic. "
Once again, I will bring up the point of peer pressure. What if you change your entire culture and habits just because of the influence of the friend? What if your cultures clash (say, Hindu vs Muslim), and you change sides just so you can continue your friendship? We must never suppress our identity for our friends. On the other hand, our family has the same culture, so no one is going to judge you for being a Muslim or a Pagan.
"Friends can increase your social life by introducing you to their friends"
Exactly, that is the worst. It often happens I have a good friend, but my friend has another friend who I don't like. It really causes a problem. All this tangled webs and all, there is nothing like that in a family, nothing that vast and complicated at least. Plus, you have to keep up social appearances with friends, like saying that you know about all the cool and popular stuff. Someone may simply hate superhero movies, but it is hard to express that among a group of fans. Or liking 1d movies. Some people have such interests that are not accepted by society.
Plus, people in the police, government, secret services etc. can't afford more friends as they may reveal information to the enemy. Someone in the family has always been influenced by you and therefore may not be against your ideologies, and anyways family is always a small circle but there are often a whole big group of friends.
Friends will not always have your back, but family will. Just look at GTA San Andreas, Ryder and Big Smoke were in our brotherhood, but in the end only our real brother Sweet has our back, while our friends betrayed us for power.
Moreover, whenever you ask for a favor from a friend you are supposed to give him a favor later on. In Family this doesn't happen. Has your mom asked you to clear your dues?
Just ask an orphan how much he would like to have a family. An orphan has all the friends in the world, but he will always long for a family. You think friends can ever fill the gap of family? Family can take the place of friends, but friends can't take the place of family. The best part about a family is no one will judge you and make fun of you for your eccentric choices. Also, your family never gives up on you, while your friends' may think there is no scope for you. Plus, I hate paying for friends as well, like watching a movie or buying stuff, while in a family the money technically belongs to every member.
For your open-mindedness point, it really depends upon the parent. Many parents often have liberal views on religion and faith and wouldn't want you to take it too seriously, while it is possible to have a conservative friend. Also, you may have a friend who is trying to impose his faith upon others, such as atheists. Also, if your friend circle is all atheist but you are say Christian, you may want to convert to atheism even though you don't fully agree with their ideologies. Peer pressure and bullying are the main problems of being too much into friends. Fake friends are a problem as well.
Debate Round No. 2
caty44444444

Con

Also: No new arguments can be published in this round, only a summary/conclusion. Thanks


Good morning/afternoon,
Ladies and gentlemen,

The opposition clearly does not understand the difference between 'friends' and 'acquaintances'. The Pro stated that friends may introduce you to bad or mean friends, but then they are simply not friends. You either get along with someone, as a friend, or don't get along with someone, as an acquaintance.

Continuing on about friends and acquaintances, the Pro stated that friends may become acquaintances and vice-versa. But then their friends at times and acquaintances at times. Of course, every friend starts out as an acquaintance but a friend can't become an acquaintance. They may be a long lost friend but you0 ,will still know them dearly.

If you are changing your religion to fit in with a friend what bad does that do. Peer pressure, technically, does not exist. People do things at their own will. If a friend forces you to do something you don't want to do, they are not a friend. You may have thought they were originally a friend, but, they were never a friend.

And now to conclude my case,
In my first round, I pointed out that most of your life you are not a child so you don't need your family to look after you. As you get older friends naturally become more important then family in influencing your emotional life. Friends become your counsellor, your psychologist, your confidant, your mentor (sometimes). The person who is on your side not the brother or sister who wants mummy's attention and sacrifices you for it. A friend supports you emotionally - that's why we choose them rather than being stuck with a jealous family member.

I also stated that because friends are usually round about the same age, they go through life's dramas together at similar times - dramas like puberty, marriage, having babies. So friends are more tolerant of your problems and less judgmental and preachy - because they're probably experiencing the same issues. None of the"when I was young, I..." lectures from parents. That's why people gravitate to friends than being stuck around critical families. Friends are less likely to take you for granted.

In my second round I told you how friends enhance your social life. They possibly expose you to different beliefs which broadens your outlook and lets you feel comfortable, opening your mind to all sorts of people rather than just your own people - your family.

I also talked about friend introducing you to a diverse multicultural lifestyle - about having authentic experiences with friends from different countries.

What about friends of friends? How wonderful to meet more friends through your friends. More friends to choose to travel with, have fun with, build a history of memories with. Friends make life better

And so ladies and gentlemen - blood may be thicker than water - but friends aren't like water, slipping between our fingers. They're more like glue, sticking and holding on because we choose them. For better to be able to choose your friends than be stuck with you're family.

And this concludes my part in this debate! Once again, thank you for accepting this debate, I wish good luck for the votes to come in and may the best debater win! :)

Happy Debating,
Caty44444444
lord_megatron

Pro

Con thinks of his friend as a sidekick that never lets him down, never bullies him, never has doubts, never had strong opinions, never does peer-pressure never does anything bad is all goody-toes while family as old annoying people who always are after his life. Also, he believes friends are a constant and are not growing people that change, and that if a friend does slip up, he is not a friend. Also, a friend is always aware about peer-pressure and bullying and wouldn't even slightly do it to con, and if does, "you are acquaintance-zoned"
Con says friends are like glue. I say yes, friends are like sticky glue that smells in your hands, is clingy, affects your skin and is hard to wash off.
I don't have a brother or sister, so I didn't justify their roles. Con didn't rebut my point about fake friends, betrayal, government jobs, eccentric interests and money problems. Family is blood, has stuck with you through all stages of life (mostly), you would betray them for a temporary friend? No, I won't. Vote for Pro.
Debate Round No. 3
10 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by lord_megatron 11 months ago
lord_megatron
We must not forget that most former friends can be damaging to our life as well
Posted by caty44444444 11 months ago
caty44444444
I know the Debate has ended, but just a fact, I wondered if you knew, was that, 1 in 3 families experience FAMILY abuse, and every 3 hours a woman is admitted to hospital due to FAMILY abuse. This was meant to be a rebuttal but I forgot, anyway. Thanks for debating me again
Posted by lord_megatron 11 months ago
lord_megatron
Not really I just take leverage of the topic thats all. I would have a hard time debating as con. I like friends as well, but family is family
Posted by caty44444444 11 months ago
caty44444444
You know, you're a really good debater, with some strong arguments. ps. I chose friends coz I prefer them anyway, even though family has stronger arguments.:)
Posted by lord_megatron 11 months ago
lord_megatron
hey no one voted on my first debate at all, at least you got some votes, although not in your favor
Posted by caty44444444 11 months ago
caty44444444
@Udel, thanks for voting, and can more people please vote on this debate, and can I just say, this is my FIRST debate, so don't expect it to be PERFECT. Anyway PLZ vote on this debate.
Posted by caty44444444 12 months ago
caty44444444
Thanks for accepting the challenge you put up a good fight too. Ps. This was my first debate, if you didn't know. :)
Posted by lord_megatron 12 months ago
lord_megatron
VERY FUN DEBATE man
Posted by mall 1 year ago
mall
Neither one is better than the other in general. It totally depends on each and every individuals's life circumstance .
Posted by caty44444444 1 year ago
caty44444444
Plz enter and accept my challenge. It would mean a lot to me
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Udel 12 months ago
Udel
caty44444444lord_megatronTied
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Total points awarded:13 
Reasons for voting decision: Con says friends are chosen, your age and make you feel relaxed. Pro said your family is always with you, being older helps with advice, friends are more likely to leave and family knows you best so you are most relaxed. Con says friends provide exposure to different things. Con says friends are more fun, Pro says friends will peer pressure you and friends change. Con said real friends won't pressure you and stick by you, which is different from acquaintances. Pro says that Con did not respond on friends leaving and betrayal, but Con did, and said real friends wouldn't do that. Though I didn't see Pro respond to Con's point about exposure to new things. But Con basically argued friends are more beneficial than family, whereas Pro argued why family is more iMPORTANT than friends. Con argued that friends make life better and don't take you for granted. Pro explained why fam is necessary. Arguments to Pro, Conduct to Con for Pro's tone and dismissive last round plus it was very close.