The Instigator
Truth_seeker
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Free_Th1nker
Con (against)
Winning
6 Points

Flirting is dangerous

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
Free_Th1nker
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 7/13/2014 Category: Society
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 929 times Debate No: 58911
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (1)
Votes (2)

 

Truth_seeker

Pro

Flirting is dangerous and should not be practiced among singles for various reasons. The only exceptions are when your already in a relationship.

Flirting can tempt people to have sex, flirting also fails to build an emotional connection and focuses on flattery, physical beauty, sexuality, false compliments, spark feelings of infatuation, the list goes on. Flirting also makes you seem not genuine. I mean, i find myself flirting with girls and behind their backs, i brag about it and talk about how i could "get" that girl like it's nothing as if she were a prize. Makes me seem like i just want to get into a girl's panties.

Flirting causes people to be passive rather than actively aggressive in their pursuits. If someone flirts, they have the option of flirting all day then the next, rejecting your offer to date them. The "signals" are also meaningless. Everyone gives "signals" and doesn't really mean anything. Friends give "signals" and so on, but once the signals stop, that's it, you probably will assume that he/she stopped liking you and then it goes into the friendzone or no zone. If you want to date someone or tell them your feelings: be upfront about it.

Yea yea..you find yourself going back n' forth all day, you all hype, etc. He says something romantic, she says something that brightens his day, etc. and there is not enough build up with the friendship and actual getting to know each other.Relationships that work are not characterized by "back n' forth flirting", but by actually getting down to it.

You drift off into la-la land, with flowery language, a guy/girl can simply be making it up simply to get what they want. It's not real intimacy, it's fake by itself. You don't know if they are actually serious. I found myself to be lying to people i liked to get what i wanted.

That being said, flirting should only be confined to a relationship as you know you got your mate locked and secured.
Free_Th1nker

Con

The essence of your proposition that "flirting is dangerous" is vague in itself because flirtation and danger are relative. What you consider flirting, someone else may consider regular interaction between two people.

For example, I would agree that flirting is dangerous if you are flirting with a notorious rapist.

However, that is usually never the case. Flirting is an evaluation of whether or not your initial sexual attraction to another person should be followed by emotional and physical intimacy. Flirting is an opportunity to express to someone your personality to prove to them you have substance beyond your physical appearance.

Flirting does not tempt people to have sex, but rather it evaluates one's temptation to pursue someone physically based on how they present themselves. I would agree that flirting centers around flattery, but to say the compliments are always false is simply wrong. I would argue people are typically genuine in their compliments of someone they are trying court, otherwise they would not be flirting in the first place. Furthermore, what is wrong with two people who are sexually attracted to each other having casual sex, as long as they do it in a safe and consensual manner?

If you flirt with a girl and brag about it behind her back about how you could "get" with her, you are objectifying her, treating her like a "prize" and absolutely giving off the impression that you just want to get in her pants, which I can only assume is partially legitimate because you say you found yourself "lying to people [you] liked to get what [you] wanted." If your idea of flirtation is fueled by deceit and selfishness, that is fine, but you cannot assume that all people act like this when they flirt with someone.

Flirting is actually the active pursuit of someone they wish to court. To be passive would be to not approach the person and, ultimately, never form a connection with them because you never approached them in the first place. How can you decide you want to form a relationship with someone without first establishing that there is a consensual emotional and physical connection between the two of you? For example, two friends do not decide to form a relationship and then figure out whether or not there is a legitimate emotional and physical attraction. Those things are established before they agree to be in a relationship and are established through flirting.

Signals are absolutely not meaningless. Symbolic interactionism is the core of micro-social interactions. Whether the signal is a casual wink, a brush on the arm, or a display such as giving a bouquet of flowers, the signal has significant meaning. Signals like these are a form of flirtation. When these signals begin to wither away, you cannot assume the person has stopped liking you. Most of time, displays of affection lessen as the comfortability with someone increases. As you become more secure and comfortable with the relationship you are in, the less likely you are to go out of your way to prove your emotional and physical attraction because your partner already knows how you feel. You said it best yourself "if you want to date someone...be upfront about it." Exactly my point. Flirtation is the best way to be upfront with your attraction to another person. If you are not socially interacting with someone, you are not being upfront with your feelings.

I agree that a consensual, intimate relationship can only thrive with a solid foundation of friendship and commonalities, but in order for a relationship to reach any form of consensual, physical intimacy, there needs to be a period between friendship and the relationship where the persons involved can evaluate what type of relationship they wish to pursue.

In closing, I would like to argue that flirtation extends beyond simply giving each other compliments on physical attributes. Flirtation involves a great element of wit, intelligence, and charisma. To belittle flirtation to a back and forth exchange of petty, romantic compliments over a period of time is false, unless the scenario you're envisioning is the typical "one night stand with a stranger" situation, in which case flirtation is used just to sleep with someone. However, I'll restate: What is dangerous about two consenting adults having safe, consensual sex?

I look forward to hearing your response because this is a topic I had not invested too much time into thinking about. I hope your perspective will help me form a more complete view on flirtation.
Debate Round No. 1
Truth_seeker

Pro

Thank you for accepting this debate, if you can convince me otherwise, i will side with you.

While that may be the case, it typically doesn't come off that way. What if you flirt just to have sex? No one can tell your reasons for flirting. Any relationship based on flirting is just a waste of time. Friendships on the other hand are very effective as they are the basis for marriages. People who are married have very good friendships because in friendships it's harder for a person to play you for a fool than it is for someone who has the patience to evaluate you from a distance. Being a good friend will determine whether you will be a good mate.

I agree, genuine compliments do exist, however i would not consider them to be flirting. I can compliment my friends and i have no attraction to them. Having casual sex is unwise as trust can easily be broken and STD's can be spread not to mention alot of emotional damage that comes when a person isn't in love.

"If your idea of flirtation is fueled by deceit and selfishness, that is fine, but you cannot assume that all people act like this when they flirt with someone." Maybe that is true, but based on observations, the most successful relationships aren't based on flirting, they're based on a solid friendship (my sister is an example.)

"Flirting is actually the active pursuit of someone they wish to court. To be passive would be to not approach the person and, ultimately, never form a connection with them because you never approached them in the first place. How can you decide you want to form a relationship with someone without first establishing that there is a consensual emotional and physical connection between the two of you? For example, two friends do not decide to form a relationship and then figure out whether or not there is a legitimate emotional and physical attraction. Those things are established before they agree to be in a relationship and are established through flirting."

2 friends are better off building that emotional connection and finding out their qualities over a long period of time and then deciding to go further vs. 2 people who just met, flirted, and got into a relationship after 2 weeks.

"Signals are absolutely not meaningless. Symbolic interactionism is the core of micro-social interactions. Whether the signal is a casual wink, a brush on the arm, or a display such as giving a bouquet of flowers, the signal has significant meaning. Signals like these are a form of flirtation. When these signals begin to wither away, you cannot assume the person has stopped liking you. Most of time, displays of affection lessen as the comfortability with someone increases. As you become more secure and comfortable with the relationship you are in, the less likely you are to go out of your way to prove your emotional and physical attraction because your partner already knows how you feel. You said it best yourself "if you want to date someone...be upfront about it." Exactly my point. Flirtation is the best way to be upfront with your attraction to another person. If you are not socially interacting with someone, you are not being upfront with your feelings."

By being upfront, i mean you either tell them you like them or you ask. With flirting, the answer is hidden and the other person is put in a position where they can choose to deflect your suspicions by denying these "signals" as anything significant to hide their feelings.

"I agree that a consensual, intimate relationship can only thrive with a solid foundation of friendship and commonalities, but in order for a relationship to reach any form of consensual, physical intimacy, there needs to be a period between friendship and the relationship where the persons involved can evaluate what type of relationship they wish to pursue."

That should already be established way before the relationship. I noticed that the girls i flirted with didn't have the essential qualities i was looking for in a mate. If i had waited, i would've seen they were not meant for me. Flirting can blind you to the truth. Yes, you can be physically and emotionally attracted to someone, but you don't have to let them know. Simply wait and see them for who they really are.

In conclusion, flirting doesn't produce a productive relationship. Rather than send "signals", you could be investing in getting to know their qualities, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, etc. that is showing off your attractive qualities far effective than just mere signals. You could focus on establishing a great friendship, not sending roses, winks, kisses, pics, etc. to show you have interest in finding out to see if maybe that person would make a potential mate when there is no solid friendship. Flirting should only be reserved for people who are already in a relationship as it demonstrates that each partner finds the other desirable.
Free_Th1nker

Con

Q: What if you flirt just to have sex?
A: If you flirt just to have sex, you're flirting to achieve sexual pleasure. You can call that selfish if you like, but as long as the sex is safe and consensual there is nothing wrong with it.

I argue that long-term, committed relationships (monogamous or polygamous, it's your preference) are not rooted in flirtation. The types of relationships, if you can call them that, rooted in flirtation with no basis of preliminary friendship are one night stands. However, even one night stands are not an entire waste of time, if you achieve your goal of sexual pleasure for a night. Of course with one night stands or casual sex comes the risk of STDs, but a better way to prevent STDs from casual sex is to educate people on birth control methods and the STDs themselves. Your marriage argument is a bit misguided because marriage is not an institution of love in the United States. The divorce rates for first, second, and third marriages are 50%, 67%, and 75% respectively. Of course friendship and honesty are the foundations of any good relationship, but this does not make flirting dangerous. Flirting is a necessary phase of any relationship because if you cannot find a way to express your interest in someone through flattery and genuine compliments the relationship will not progress past that initial friendship.

Genuine compliments and flirting are not mutually exclusive. Someone can give you a genuine compliment with flirtatious connotation. Someone can give you a genuine compliment without flirtatious connotation. Likewise, someone can give you a deceitful compliment with flirtatious connotation and someone can give you a deceitful compliment without flirtatious connotation.

The danger isn't in flirting, it's in putting your trust in someone who you have a one night stand with or have casual sex with. It's upon the individual to place a certain amount of trust in someone else. To put all of your trust in someone who you are not committed to is foolish in itself. Additionally, no one is entitled to having their trust in an individual kept in tact by that individual. Flirtation is not dangerous, but the people you choose to flirt with and pursue sexually can be dangerous.

"2 friends are better off building that emotional connection and finding out their qualities over a long period of time and then deciding to go further vs. 2 people who just met, flirted, and got into a relationship after 2 weeks."
---I completely agree, but this does not support the idea that flirtation is dangerous. It supports the idea that getting into premature relationships designed to fail is dangerous.

Signals can be very upfront. For example, asking for a phone number is a very upfront signal that you wish to court someone. You can deflect these signals to hide your true feelings, but then you are not flirting.

If you're championing the flirtation is bad, it's rather hypocritical that you made relationship decisions based on flirtation with any particular woman (unless this is a new opinion of you formulated after these failures). That being said, premature infatuation is the result of your problems. This can result from misinterpreted flirtation, of course, but it can also result from misinterpreted friendships. The commonality is misinterpretation. It is upon the individual to make the correct assessment of the individual they desire.

Flirting is a method of getting to know someone's personal qualities, mainly their wit, articulation, intelligence, and charisma. Likes and dislikes can also be derived from flirtation, it really just depends on the content of your conversation.

In summary:
1. I hope by "Maybe that is true, but based on observations, the most successful relationships aren't based on flirting, they're based on a solid friendship (my sister is an example.)" you are not stating you're having a physically intimate relationship with your sister. I don't believe you did, but your sentence structure is suspect.
2. It is upon the individual to assess the person they desire. Flirtation is a method of doing this. Misinterpretations exist in all forms of communication, but you are only acknowledging misinterpretation in regards to flirting and are rather adamant that most flirtation will result in misinterpretation of relationship. However, flirtation is a necessary stage in all relationships where an individual can evaluate another individual in order to determine whether or not they want to pursue a physically and emotionally intimate relationship.
Debate Round No. 2
Truth_seeker

Pro

A one night stand is just a one night stand. You can have sex, but it's only for 1 night, you don't even need to flirt to have those. Simply ask away and it'll happen, but no relationships are involved. It doesn't have to fall into marriage, just into a relationship. You can compliment each other while still being friends and it would still progress into a relationship. With flirting, you give off the impression that your "in love" and i don't really trust those kinds of compliments.

If that's the case then i'd rather flirt with someone who i am committed to just so that things are easier. If a girl or guy want sex, it's going to be alot harder if you made them go through the friendzone and meet the parents wouldn't you agree?

"I completely agree, but this does not support the idea that flirtation is dangerous. It supports the idea that getting into premature relationships designed to fail is dangerous." How do i know when the right time for flirting begins? How can i trust the other person? Flirting usually starts at the very beginning doesn't it? Why start flirting during a good friendship? Why not ask the other person out?

"Signals can be very upfront. For example, asking for a phone number is a very upfront signal that you wish to court someone. You can deflect these signals to hide your true feelings, but then you are not flirting."

While yes, this is true, the other person can simply give you a false number or make up a reason to not call you or explain why she can't use her number when in reality, it's not the truth. It's much easier to simply ask the girl/guy for courting than to attempt to give the subtle implication.

"If you're championing the flirtation is bad, it's rather hypocritical that you made relationship decisions based on flirtation with any particular woman (unless this is a new opinion of you formulated after these failures). "

This is a new opinion i have based on failures...if it can be misinterpreted why bother flirting? Misrepresentation is clarified by effective communication (asking what they mean, etc.) If that's been established, there's no point in flirting. If it's a misinterpreted friendship, perhaps it's not a friendship to begin with. Girls can be just as vile and deceptive as men can. Sorry, been played once, never getting played again...

Flirting tends to lean towards the areas (looks, interests, etc.) of a potential mate, not a friend. It takes a friend to have the patience and learn everything they need to know before jumping into a relationship.
Free_Th1nker

Con

Although I've never been personally involved in a one night stand, I think I can safely assert that you cannot just ask to have one with someone and it'll happen, unless either, or both, are intoxicated, at which point they are legally unable to consent to sexual intercourse. Once again, the compliments you give to a friend can still be flirtatious or lead to flirtatious behavior. For example, if a woman says to a man, "Wow, you're really good at ping pong!" it typically follows that the man would ask if she wanted to play with him. This could certainly be interpreted as flirting, but it is really dependent on the context of the situation, the relationship between the two people, and their body language. You don't necessarily give off the impression that you're in love with someone while you flirt, but rather you give off the impression that you wish to pursue them beyond friendship or just staring at them from across the room.

I would agree that it's harder to have sex with someone if you drag them through the metaphorical "friend zone" and make them meet your parents, but I think our consensus on that actually supports my side of the argument. Flirtation allows you and your potential partner, or partners, to evaluate each other to see whether or not you wish to proceed out of the "friend zone" or beyond just being strangers.

Your questions: "How do i know when the right time for flirting begins? How can i trust the other person?"
My answer: I can't answer these for you. I can't tell you when it is the right time for you to start flirting and I can't tell you how to trust another human being because I am not you. These things vary from person to person. There is no black and white answer; it's all gray.
(My advice: If you were looking for it, here it is. Flirt when it feels right to you. Don't flirt when it doesn't feel right. Don't trust everything someone tells you at face value, but do not distrust to the point where you cannot maintain a healthy friendship or relationship.)

Your question: "Why start flirting during a good friendship? Why not ask the other person out?"
My Answer: Flirt to evaluate the situation. Flirt to determine whether or not there is a mutual connection between you and the other person, or people, to pursue a more intimate relationship. If the other person flirts back and it appears earnest, do not hesitate if it is what you both desire.

Good point on the fake number; an excellent rebuttal to the evidently poor example I gave. Let me give a better one. It is anecdotal, but still an objective point: At a party once, I was approached by a young woman while I was playing water pong. She said, "You're cute, I bet you are really good at this," and grabbed my arm as she said it. Flirtatious and upfront, combining dialogue with the symbolic action of grabbing the arm.

Your question: "if it can be misinterpreted why bother flirting?"
My Answer: If friendship can misinterpreted, why bother having friends? There is no form of communication that is effective 100% of time. If you ask someone directly what they mean, they can still give you an answer filled with deceit and malice.

Yes, women and men can be equally vile and deceptive, but that's irrelevant to this debate.

Once again, flirtation can be a tool of evaluation after a friendship has been established. This is typically the case. Two friends begin to start flirting and a relationship follows. This may be a gross generalization, and I typically do not like to generalize, but I do not believe relationships typical follow the pattern of: 1. eye contact; 2. flirtation; 3. mutual establishment of a relationship; 4. becoming friends.

To add a new point of contention: flirting is fun. Whether it be a one night interaction; whether it be a short-lived exchange of flattery; whether it be an on-again-off-again interaction; whether it be consistent flirtation for a long period of time; flirtation is fun. It's nice to be complimented. It's nice to be noticed once in awhile. If you flirt with someone just for a night, you can walk away feeling good about yourself even if that feeling is short-lived. After all, humans are social creatures who need acknowledgement in one form or another. Unfortunate personal experiences should not deviate your opinion on social interaction so heavily.
Debate Round No. 3
Truth_seeker

Pro

"For example, if a woman says to a man, "Wow, you're really good at ping pong!" it typically follows that the man would ask if she wanted to play with him. This could certainly be interpreted as flirting, but it is really dependent on the context of the situation, the relationship between the two people, and their body language. You don't necessarily give off the impression that you're in love with someone while you flirt, but rather you give off the impression that you wish to pursue them beyond friendship or just staring at them from across the room."

And why would a woman stare at a man she barely knows? How can you pursue a relationship beyond friendship if you both aren't even friends in the first place?

"I would agree that it's harder to have sex with someone if you drag them through the metaphorical "friend zone" and make them meet your parents, but I think our consensus on that actually supports my side of the argument. Flirtation allows you and your potential partner, or partners, to evaluate each other to see whether or not you wish to proceed out of the "friend zone" or beyond just being strangers."

Not me, i have an ideal concept of what i look for in a woman and if you don't meet that criteria, your staying in the friend zone. I make an evaluation based on observations of trust, loyalty, kindness, etc. If a girl expects me to compliment her looks, it comes off as superficial and it gives me impression that she has nothing else to offer but looks. As far as i know, i have never heard any compliments about my qualities as a sign of interest for the most part. I appreciate compliments on my hair, looks, etc. but don't want to be flattered, i want to be recognized for who i am and what i do.

Trust is given at a minimum. When girls come to me and seek a premature relationship, i question their integrity, intentions, morals, and character vs. a girl who simply expects nothing but genuine friendship and if everything goes well, seeks a relationship. Furthermore, flirting comes off as being a game of feelings. People can also flirt without the intention of actually getting into a relationship (I stand guilty of this too) and say "Oh i'm sorry..i'm not ready for a relationship.." I've noticed women/girls with boys basically inviting me to flirt with them and i suspect that eventually, they'll either cheat or tell me "Sorry, i have a boyfriend.." But they see no problem in flirting because after all, it was all harmless, it won't hurt the man because he doesn't have feelings, isn't that what society imposes upon us?...I don't roll that way and won't fall for that..

" It is anecdotal, but still an objective point: At a party once, I was approached by a young woman while I was playing water pong. She said, "You're cute, I bet you are really good at this," and grabbed my arm as she said it. Flirtatious and upfront, combining dialogue with the symbolic action of grabbing the arm."

Again, the compliment "your cute" (superficial compliment) I bet you are really good at this (flattery) and grabbing your arm would give me a bad impression. The touch barrier should be respected and broken gradually, so if a girl touches me the wrong way, it gives me the impression she wants sensuality. Another example of why flirting is superficial, not a great idea to introduce to a premature friendship/relationship.

"If friendship can misinterpreted, why bother having friends? There is no form of communication that is effective 100% of time. If you ask someone directly what they mean, they can still give you an answer filled with deceit and malice."

My friends clarify what they say when asked and my friends haven't really given me such a tone, maybe harshness, but out of being honest with their advice.

"I do not believe relationships typical follow the pattern of: 1. eye contact; 2. flirtation; 3. mutual establishment of a relationship; 4. becoming friends."

But you imply that relationships start with essentially just 1,2.3.

I'd rather have a wife to compliment everyday not just 1 night. I'd rather lovingly have sex with my wife, knowing she loves me back. I can get complimented everyday by my wife and everyone else not just once in a while, but on a consistent basis. I don't want an experience that is short-lived, i want something that will last a life-time. I'd feel so much better knowing that i worked so hard to perfect myself and maintain an earned relationship.
Free_Th1nker

Con

In this context, a woman, or a man, would stare at someone he/she barely knows because something about that person is attractive to them. Simple as that. You'll look at what you're attracted to. You can pursue a relationship beyond friendship if you aren't really friends in the first place; however, this relationship is more likely to fail without that initial friendship. Some relationships are purely for the sexual interaction between the two people and nothing more.

I'm glad you have an ideal concept. Most people do. I certainly do. Compliments are only superficial if the person making them is saying them superficially. However, that whole paragraph of subjectivity makes no attempt to support your argument that flirting is dangerous. Your experiences of flirtatious interaction are not representative of everyone. I'm sorry your experiences have made your skeptical of everyone who tries to flirt with you. That sucks, but does not support your argument. Do you have any arguments that are not based solely on your experiences with flirting?

Yes, flirting is a "game of feelings." The game is trying to figure out the other person's feelings while expressing yours in a respectful manner.

That's great that you believe the touch barrier should not be broken immediately. Once again, your personal feelings are not representative of everyone's feelings. Your opinion on the touch barrier does not support the argument that flirtation is dangerous.

Flirting can be superficial, flirting can be beneficial. Flirting allows you to evaluate the wit, intelligence, articulation, and charisma. Flirting allows you to evaluate how serious someone is about pursuing more intimate relations. Flirting isn't dangerous, people are dangerous.

The fact that your friends (again subjective) have to clarify what they say just proves that friendship can be misinterpreted.

You: "But you imply that relationships start with essentially just 1,2.3."

I don't imply anything by my statement. My implication was that the steps I laid out were unconventional.

You: "I'd rather have a wife to compliment everyday not just 1 night. I'd rather lovingly have sex with my wife, knowing she loves me back. I can get complimented everyday by my wife and everyone else not just once in a while, but on a consistent basis. I don't want an experience that is short-lived, i want something that will last a life-time. I'd feel so much better knowing that i worked so hard to perfect myself and maintain an earned relationship."

Flirting does not prevent you from this. I'll repeat: flirting is not dangerous. People are dangerous.

I don't really have anything else to add to this debate. I offered the position that flirtation is not dangerous because it allows you to evaluate the relationship you have with another person who you may want to pursue intimately. People who use social interaction to deceive and hurt others are what is dangerous, not flirting itself.

If you have an objective arguments left to debate, I'd love to hear them.
Debate Round No. 4
Truth_seeker

Pro

"In this context, a woman, or a man, would stare at someone he/she barely knows because something about that person is attractive to them. Simple as that. You'll look at what you're attracted to."

If they're attracted to something about a person that can only tell me one thing: looks which isn't mature to establish a relationship.

Maybe it's because i have different motives for not flirting, but based on what you told me, if you want a fling or a one night stand, by all means, flirt away and let people flatter and touch you, but i strongly advise anyone looking for a sincere long-lasting relationship to not engage in this kind of behavior based on subjective experiences.

"Flirting isn't dangerous, people are dangerous." I stated in the first round that unless it's within the boundaries of a relationship, it's dangerous.

"The fact that your friends (again subjective) have to clarify what they say just proves that friendship can be misinterpreted."

On the contrary, it's objective as you are asking the person of their views whereas in flirting, you seemingly have to "catch signals."

It seems like your repeating your claims of flirting being safe, but don't back it up with solid reasoning.

If a random woman especially taken woman comes up to me and flirts, she lost all my respect before it's already begun. She want some respect? Give me something to respect. It comes off as promiscuous honestly (never realized it til now). Show me some nobility, honesty, confidence, Love, strength in character, trustworthiness, qualities that will last. Complimenting a woman's looks may be in and of itself harmless, but when it's the main focus during flirting, it indicates that your judging a woman's self worth based on what you deem "beautiful" and would rather let her "sit there and look pretty." You don't acknowledge her accomplishments and efforts to be a better person as an individual. A woman flirtatiously saying "wow, you really strong!" is just as perverted as a guy's sexual comments as "Wow look at that body.." (sorry if i came off as aggressive)
Free_Th1nker

Con

All intimate, sexual relationships start with eye-to-eye physical attraction. The only two exceptions to this that come to mind are two blind people or two people who meet through an online dating service where they do not display pictures. You make the eye-to-eye contact, establish sexual attraction, and proceed to flirt with the person in order to evaluate if you want to proceed.

I guarantee you that the vast majority of people who are part of a long lasting relationship flirted in one form or another before the two decided to form an intimate relationship. I don't understand why you assume people must be genuine in their flirtation once they form a relationship.

My position has never been that "flirting is dangerous." I am debating your claim that "flirting is dangerous." My position is the rejection of your position. You make the claim, the burden of proof is on you.

As I'll say for the last time, flirting is a way of evaluating your decision to pursue someone whom you have a sexual attraction to. To not evaluate someone is dangerous.

I do not understand your disrespect for women who give off a promiscuous vibe, when you earlier stated how you have bragged about being able to get in a girl's pants. Hypocrisy.

You can flirt with a person without treating them as an object. Again, flirting can give you a gauge on the person's wit, intelligence, articulation, and charisma. This is a short list of qualities you can extract via flirting.

Personally, I'm offended when you accuse me, and others who have flirted with perfectly good intentions, of judging a woman's self worth by her appearance. To sit across the room and stare rather than approach a person in conversation is closer to objectification. Furthermore, commenting on one's physique is not perverted.

It is clear that your idea of flirting is purely back and forth conversation about physical attraction. For the last time I'll state that flirting can give you a gauge on the person's wit, intelligence, articulation, and charisma among other things. Your understanding of flirting is plagued by subjectivity.

To those who have made it through this whole debate: I would like you to consider that my opponent has made no objective arguments to support his original statement that "flirting is dangerous" or that "flirting is dangerous outside of the boundaries of a relationship." the arguments became progressively more subjective throughout the five rounds. My position was never to say that flirting is safe, but rather that flirting is not dangerous. However, it is far more dangerous to not evaluate the substance of someone you are sexually attracted to. Flirtation is an excellent way to preliminarily evaluate that person's wit, intelligence, and charisma.

Thank you to my opponent for allowing me the forum to debate and I appreciate his tolerance throughout the five rounds.
Debate Round No. 5
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by Astal3 2 years ago
Astal3
If no one accepts this in a few hours ill debate you. The thing you fail to take into account is basic human sociology and psychology. Flirting is what shows romantic interests and is a game of wit between two potential mates. In other words it is a test. Humans don't just start humping each other there has to be genuine attraction. Flirting is the process of deciding whether the your initial attraction was premature. Back in the day mutual benefit super-ceded attraction as a woman was literally incapable of supporting herself. That is clearly not the case in the modern world and a female only needs to mate out of desire not necessity. So flirting is absolutely fundamental to the relationship process and to state that flirting is not genuine is clearly off base. Even though people can feign interest to be polite there is no pretending or false feeling when they meet someone they truly are attracted to.

http://www.eharmony.com...
http://www.askmen.com...
http://www.boldsky.com...
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by FuzzyCatPotato 2 years ago
FuzzyCatPotato
Truth_seekerFree_Th1nkerTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Flirting key to relationships, relationships better than fvcking strangers (STDs, rape, etc.), relationsips key to stable marriages.
Vote Placed by Astal3 2 years ago
Astal3
Truth_seekerFree_Th1nkerTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Though pro did provide valid points those points are based on circumstance and personal moral. Con provided a better argument to the actual nature of flirting. Both sides were equally respectful and had their own strong points; but pro failed to provide the BOP that flirting in itself is dangerous and harmful.