The Instigator
patsox834
Pro (for)
Losing
13 Points
The Contender
i_defy_the_norm
Con (against)
Winning
14 Points

Found Poem Battle.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/29/2009 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 2,668 times Debate No: 8832
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (19)
Votes (4)

 

patsox834

Pro

Found poetry: http://en.wikipedia.org...

Both myself and my opponent will have to show what we're referencing -- for example, if I reference a song by Pink Floyd, then I'll post a link to the lyrics; if I reference a bunch of song titles by a band, then I'll post a link to their discography.

We can write about whatever we want, whether it's entirely frivolous or something more serious. There doesn't necessarily need to be any rhyme scheme present, either.

Obviously, the person who comes up with the better found poems is the winner.

I'm intentionally not defining what makes one poem "better" than another; I'm leaving that up to the individual readers to decide. I'd also ask that whoever votes posts a rationale for that vote.

...this is merely an introduction -- but my opponent can start if he/she chooses to. I don't have a problem if they use their first round as an introduction of sorts, either.

So yeah...good luck to whoever accepts.
i_defy_the_norm

Con

I am proud to accept this interesting debate! I am going to let my opponent start the battle first. And good luck to you patsox834.
Debate Round No. 1
patsox834

Pro

Thanks for accepting.

Alright, to start, I'll go with something short, just to help my opponent get the feel (I hope this works):

Dance on fire as the spirit of radio intends -- but beware...when the music stops, there's a message from the underworld: god called in sick today...so tell all the people: no one here gets out alive -- the screams of the butterfly lament the end...turn out the lights; the music's over.

Your time is gonna come...but in *my* time of dying, just take my body home. I want nobody to mourn.

...

Ok, there are a nice few references here.

Firstly, I referenced the Doors many times. I used some of the lyrics from the song When the Music's Over, as well as the song's Tell All the People, Five to One, and the End. I also used "Lament," from the American Prayer album.

That can all be found here: http://www.oldielyrics.com...

I also briefly referenced Rush, and their song "the Spirit of Radio."

I referenced Led Zeppelin, as well; I used lyrics from the song "In My Time of Dying," and used the title of their song "Your Time is Gonna Come."

http://www.sing365.com...

Lastly, I also referenced AFI and the obscure punk band Agent Orange.

AFI: http://www.metrolyrics.com...

Agent Orange: http://www.last.fm...

That about covers it. I'll give my opponent the spotlight.
i_defy_the_norm

Con

This is going to be very short and...not so sweet. The short poem comes from a mixture of five songs. They have been rearranged quite a bit, but all of the text comes from these songs:

Rapture by the band Hurt: http://www.metrolyrics.com...
Got Jealous by Hurt: http://www.metrolyrics.com...
Cold Inside by Hurt: http://www.metrolyrics.com...
Weak and Powerless by A Perfect Circle: http://www.lyricsfreak.com...
And Vicarious (track number 1) by Tool: http://toolshed.down.net...

******************

They said I would be safe
They lie
They put me away in a cage,
Cold on the inside

The doctor said, "forget your pain.
Pull your head out of your haze."

I dig my own grave

And they will watch me die
Debate Round No. 2
patsox834

Pro

...we've got a bigger problem now...

I am governor Tommy Jordan -- I will command all of you one day; soon I will be president.

Zen fascists will control you...you will close your eyes and wear your happy face; come quietly to the master race.

Totalitarian news speak looks nice, you say? If you frown, then you will pay!

Now it is 1984; big bro and his double speak knocks at your front door. Come to the camp; meditate in school...but don't worry, it's only a shower...never frown and get a pretty flower.

Mellow out, you little clowns...for you will die if you mess with president Jordan. If you mess with president Jordan.

Jordan's utopia uber alles.

...

Ok, this will require a bit of an explanation. It's short -- but it's not simple.

Firstly, most of the words are a rearrangement of the Dead Kennedys song "California Uber Alles." However, the name "Tommy Jordan" comes from two different sources: the Buckethead song "Jordan," and an album by the Who entitled "Tommy." And the opening line (we've got a bigger problem now) is a title of a Dead Kennedys song.

The part about 1984 and "big bro" are recognizable references to the novel "1984," which was written by George Orwell. The part about totalitarian news speak is also a direct reference to 1984...as is the little part about "double think."

For the parts about news speak, totalitarianism, and double think, I went here: http://en.wikipedia.org...

For the Dead Kennedys' lyrics, I went here: http://www.azlyrics.com...

I couldn't think of a good way to end it off, so I went to my iTunes, and looked at some song names. I came across one called "the Man From Utopia" by Frank Zappa, and I thought "utopia" would fit in well, and add a little twist of irony, considering my poem is clearly about a dystopia.

I should also point out that the words "uber alles" aren't only a reference to the Dead Kennedys -- but they were also part of the German national anthem under Hitler's regime. The anthem had the lyrics "Deutschland uber alles," which essentially means Germany over all.

There were also some other pretty obvious references to Nazi Germany. Such as the parts about camps and showers.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

...

But yeah, to explain further, this poem is essentially a satire of government. It mocks right-wingers by taking their viewpoint.

It's also an apolitical poem; its message is that with too much government in our lives, we become too dependent on them and trust them too much, and thus, we sacrifice our individuality and rationality...and when that happens, we're really not very far from an Orwellian society.

Ok, back to my opponent.
i_defy_the_norm

Con

Here goes:

***********

I'm waiting in my cold cell
Reflecting on my life
My world comes crashing down
The priest comes to read me the last rites

Tears fall but why am I crying?
I'm the only one to blame
Say my prayers
"Hallowed be thy name"

This party's over
My life drifts before me
I don't want an end to my story

Dying scares me
'Cause it screams the truth
Will you remember me?
There's no use

************

The first stanza primarily from the song Hallowed Be Thy Name by Iron Maiden (http://www.metrolyrics.com...), but the third line comes from Apocolyptica's I'm Not Jesus (http://www.metrolyrics.com...). The second stanza comes from both of those songs and Sober by Pink (http://www.metrolyrics.com...). The rest of the poem continues to come from just those three songs focusing more on Hallowed Be Thy Name and Sober.
Debate Round No. 3
patsox834

Pro

Alright...I'm going to start off with the explanation first. This poem is a little odd...it's a tribute to Buckethead; it tells his story -- most of my sources are related to him somehow: his songs, his bio, and his album titles. So yeah...I figured I should say that first, so people won't be like "what in the blue hell is this?"

And now we begin.

...

Welcome to Bucketheadland.

Somewhere over the slaughterhouse on inbred mountain while in the night of the slunk, the ballad of Buckethead is sung from a coop.

No one understood him...kids even lit him on fire that time. To this very day, Bucket does not like to be shocked with a cattle prod.

Through the smell of burning cartilage and a knothole in the fence, Bucket would watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Giant Robot and do the Bucketbot jig. He got a little guitar; he sat and watched movies while moving his fingers, and all of a sudden there was music.

Buckethead practiced so much he started to get real good.

One night, somebody threw a bucket of fried chicken into the coop -- but Buckethead couldn't put the chicken back together again. He took his guitar, put the bucket on his head, and ran to the cemetery.

All the angels and grey people in the jowls of the cemetery listened to Bucket's beautiful music; they stood there speechless.

For Christmas, Buckethead even got a shovel so he could look for more friends in the cemetery! Jump man Jordan even showed him how to sneak into Disneyland disguised as a Haunted Mansion ghost. He was the luckiest boy he knew; everyday was like Halloween.

Disneyland was the greatest city he'd ever been to; he loved it so much he burned down his coop.

Bucketheadland opened in 1989. The rides its famous for were made out of rusty tractor parts, and a bunch of sticks and animal bones tied together with spider silk. Buckethead even built a huge cemetery in the middle with the statues and tombstones lined up to create the best acoustics.

Buckethead traveled around the world for 13 years. From Nottingham Lace to the Bermuda triangle. Buckethead made many new friends; he learned the secrets of embalming and martial arts. Buckethead recorded new albums with his friends. All of these adventures helped Bucketheadland grow into the world of dreams and nightmares that we all know and love.

NOTE: Some and events may have been altered chronologically. Stories may be apocryphal, hypothetical, metaphorical or completely made up.

...

Ok. A lot of this came from here: http://www.bucketheadland.com...

I mixed and matched the lines, as well as adding in some Buckethead's songs and albums.

Inbred Mountain, Bermuda Triangle, Somewhere Over the Slaughterhouse, and Bucketheadland are all albums of his.

The line "welcome to Buckethead land" is featured in the opening seconds of the opening track to the album -- Park Theme (intro.)

Jowls, Night of the Slunk, Nottingham Lace, the Ballad of Buckethead, Bucketbot's Jig, Jump Man, and Jordan are all songs of his.

http://en.wikipedia.org...

I also used this random song a little, just so I had a source that wasn't Buckethead related: http://www.metrolyrics.com...
i_defy_the_norm

Con

I'm going to post my sources first. I purposefully chose the song J*** In My Pants (http://www.metrolyrics.com...) because of some of the excellent word choices. My poem, however, is not funny like the song and is actually quite romantic.

The next two songs are love songs, so they are more "appropriate" some might say.
Celine Dion- My Heart Will Go On (http://www.metrolyrics.com...)
Barbra Streisand- Evergreen (http://www.metrolyrics.com...)

The next song is romantic, but not like the last two.
Crazytown- Butterfly (http://www.metrolyrics.com...)

The poem:

************

My heart is still
When you whisper in my ear
I have a found a rose
To keep near

Our love is unrehearsed...soft...ageless
Time will take us

But you will still be my love

My butterfly
My baby
My angel
My lady

...my love
Debate Round No. 4
patsox834

Pro

This one is gonna be a little short.

...

Battle: music, Canadian, found poem, rap, ska.

Shooter McGavin was right: The Republican Party ideological stance makes more sense than that of the Democratic Party.

Red Sox freak: patsox834.

Strange art: i_defy_the_norm.

iamadragon: Lance Chavez Q. "Immortal Flash" Dikembe-Gonzalez.

Debates. People. Forums.

Debate.org.

...

This found poem was obviously about this site. I just took random things I found from browsing some pages, and started typing.

The first part is a reference to the "battle" debates, obviously.

"Shooter McGavin was right," and "The Republican Party ideological stance makes more sense than that of the Democratic Party" are titles of debates.

Red Sox freak is the name of a member of this site.

The strange art part came about because i_defy_the_norm has a "strange art" photo album thing.

The odd arrangement of names I put after iamadragon's name are what he has under "name" on his profile.
i_defy_the_norm

Con

i_defy_the_norm forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
19 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by i_defy_the_norm 7 years ago
i_defy_the_norm
sorry about forfeiting that last round. i ran out of time. then camp. so i've been without internet access for three weeks. but before that it was a good battle.
Posted by i_defy_the_norm 7 years ago
i_defy_the_norm
never mind. it is no longer relevant
Posted by i_defy_the_norm 7 years ago
i_defy_the_norm
can you use a word twice if it's only given once in the original work? repeat it basically?
Posted by i_defy_the_norm 7 years ago
i_defy_the_norm
thank you thank you. i try. haha
Posted by patsox834 7 years ago
patsox834
Ha, that one was even more "depressing" than the last one. Good stuff, though.
Posted by i_defy_the_norm 7 years ago
i_defy_the_norm
depressing I know. i had odd inspiration. lol
Posted by patsox834 7 years ago
patsox834
Haha, it looks fine to me.
Posted by i_defy_the_norm 7 years ago
i_defy_the_norm
let me know if i did something wrong
Posted by patsox834 7 years ago
patsox834
Haha, no. I just put the asterisks around it for emphasis. The song name is In My Time Of Dying.
Posted by i_defy_the_norm 7 years ago
i_defy_the_norm
when you put the astericks around the word "my," is that a word you added that was not in any original work?
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by emigre 7 years ago
emigre
patsox834i_defy_the_normTied
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Total points awarded:07 
Vote Placed by LightningRod 7 years ago
LightningRod
patsox834i_defy_the_normTied
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Vote Placed by Charlie_Danger 7 years ago
Charlie_Danger
patsox834i_defy_the_normTied
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Vote Placed by patsox834 7 years ago
patsox834
patsox834i_defy_the_normTied
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Total points awarded:70