The Instigator
bearsfan
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
sherlockmethod
Pro (for)
Winning
20 Points

Free Hat!

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/8/2009 Category: Politics
Updated: 8 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 1,898 times Debate No: 9169
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (15)
Votes (5)

 

bearsfan

Con

Hat McCullough is a convicted murderer of twenty-three toddlers and babies. He admits to doing so in self defense. My opponent has to prove, using our justice system, that Hat should be freed. You can't say that it is good because it reduces the population or other arguments like it because it doesn't get him out of jail. Don't free Hat.

By the way, this happens to be from an episode of South Park so please don't go looking for a real toddler murderer with a large following because you won't find one (I hope).
sherlockmethod

Pro

U.S. v Hat McCollough
Court of Appeals (The instigator did not specify a jurisdiction. Since our "justice system" must be used, I will choose the Model Penal Code as the binding authority for this matter.)

Comes now the defendant, by counsel Sherlockmethod:

If it pleases the Court,
I come to you following a travesty of justice. Hat McCollough was sentenced to prison for the murder of twenty three children in violation of the US Constitution. This crime is no crime at all. According to In re Winship, 397 U.S. 358, the prosecution must persuade the factfinder "beyond a reasonable doubt of every fact necessary to constitute the crime charged." EVERY fact. The Model penal code offers this definition of murder:
Section 210.2 Murder
(1)A person is guilty of criminal homicide if he purposely, knowingly, recklessly or negligently causes the death of another human being.

According to the Model Penal Code, a human being is:
Section 210.0
(1)"human being" means a person who has been born and is alive.

Section 210.0 provides the definitions for articles 210-213 so it is controlling.

Members of the Court, Hat McCollough was never born and is not alive. He is a drawing, animated, but still a drawing. The state cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he is a human being.

If the Court erroneously finds Hat McCollough to be a person then I submit to this learned panel that the "infants and toddlers" in question are not human beings either. Mr. McCollough cannot be said to be a murderer when the drawings in question are not human beings. The state cannot meet its burden, and no reasonable jury can conclude otherwise without violating the US Constitution itself. This Court should … must find the state did not meet its burden, nor can it, and dismiss this case altogether.

Thank You.
Debate Round No. 1
bearsfan

Con

The trial already happened. He is in jail, and you have to prove that he should be released, not that he should never have been sent to jail in the first place.

That trial was very, very good, but does not do anything because in the world of South Park, he is in prison for life. He plead guilty, there was enough evidence to send him to jail, and he is there.

He said he did it in self-defense, but a grown man can easily overpower a baby. The only line he spoke in the episode was "Kill the babies, rape the virgins!" Does this sound like a man that should be freed from jail? I certainly don't think so. He still wants to kill babies. This is a sick man, and he needs to be kept away from society in either an asylum or jail. Since he is in jail, he should stay there.
sherlockmethod

Pro

"The trial already happened."

Correct, you informed us in the first round that Hat is a convicted murderer. If he was convicted then a trail took place and he was found guilty. No problems here.

"[H]e is in jail"

Correct again.

"[Y]ou have to prove that he should be released, not that he should never have been sent to jail in the first place."

I did. I showed with very clear statutory authority that Mr. McCoullogh was tried, found guilty, and jailed in violation of the U.S. Constitution. Because his Constitutional rights were violated he should be released from prison. The U.S. Constitution applies as Pro stipulated in his opening round that I must prove Hat should be released using our justice system.

Con offered no rebuttal concerning the bedrock issue here, which is simply, Hat is not a person under the law, his victims are not human beings under the law; therefore, he cannot be found guilty of murder as the State cannot prove every element of the crime.

I need not offer any further points as I have shown why Hat should be released, and Con has not offered any evidence to say otherwise.

Con should cut Hat some slack here, remember:

"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way" Jessica Rabbit.
Debate Round No. 2
bearsfan

Con

Hat is a terrible person and should be locked up forever. You say I have no proof, here it is. http://www.southparkstudios.com... Watch the episode and find out that you are wrong. To everyone who votes, please watch this episode.

After watching this episode, you should have no doubt in your mind that that Hat is guilty and should be locked up forever.
sherlockmethod

Pro

In Conclusion,

My opponent had a legal argument to present, but did not do so. He claims my client, Hat McCoullogh, is a bad person. He may be drawn bad, but he is not a person under the law; therefore, my argument stands. My opponent never showed that Hat committed a crime at all under our justice system. I presented ample evidence that he could not be found guilty of murder as the State cannot meet its burden.

My opponent presented no rebuttal to the fact that Hat is not a person, nor are his victims human beings under the Model Penal Code murder statute.

As Pro, I showed Hat could not be found guilty of the crime of murder and should be released from prison immediately. I also urge voters to watch the episode as it presents a fantastic satire of the causes many take on without regard to the consequences. That aside, this resolution is affirmed in full form and I urge a vote for Pro.

Very Truly Yours,

Sherlockmethod.

P.S. My opponent had a legal argument, a weak one, but still he could have fought. Please see Article I, section 9 of the U.S. Constitution.

. . . After leaving his response, DDO user Sherlockmethod walks away, removing his skin to show he is of the race self proclaimed as Crab People. "They look like crabs and talk like people". Snip Snip.
Debate Round No. 3
15 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by mongeese 8 years ago
mongeese
B/A - CON/PRO
Arguments - PRO
Legal arguments vs. appeal to emotion.
Sources - PRO
Constitution.
Posted by wjmelements 8 years ago
wjmelements
Good job, SM.
Posted by Xer 8 years ago
Xer
Lol sherlock. I thought you were gunna be serious. As soon as you talked about the definition of human being I knew where you were going.

Good job.
Posted by bearsfan 8 years ago
bearsfan
Have none of you seen that episode? Here is a link to watch it online http://www.southparkstudios.com...

Click on "WATCH THIS FULL EPISODE" under the picture.
Posted by sherlockmethod 8 years ago
sherlockmethod
Thank you, mongeese!
Posted by mongeese 8 years ago
mongeese
That was amazing.
Posted by sherlockmethod 8 years ago
sherlockmethod
I never do the silly ones, why not just one ...?
Posted by Rezzealaux 8 years ago
Rezzealaux
I came in looking for my free hat. Then I read the opening argument and major disappointments.
Posted by lillunchboxbandit 8 years ago
lillunchboxbandit
Hold up, from South Park!? So this guy is fake!? How lame. All this over a cartoon. For shame.
Posted by wjmelements 8 years ago
wjmelements
Why do we have to prove that Hat should be freed "under our [current] justice system"? Why can't we just prove that there shouldn't be a justice system to put Hat in jail? 'twould be more interesting.
5 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Vote Placed by Rezzealaux 8 years ago
Rezzealaux
bearsfansherlockmethodTied
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Vote Placed by mongoose 8 years ago
mongoose
bearsfansherlockmethodTied
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Vote Placed by mongeese 8 years ago
mongeese
bearsfansherlockmethodTied
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Vote Placed by RoyLatham 8 years ago
RoyLatham
bearsfansherlockmethodTied
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Vote Placed by patsox834 8 years ago
patsox834
bearsfansherlockmethodTied
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