The Instigator
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7 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
7 Points

Funnier Jokes Wins

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Post Voting Period
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after 3 votes the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/9/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,343 times Debate No: 32287
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (0)
Votes (3)




I love taking a brake from harsh banter back and forth in these debates. What better way then one of these?
Jokes begin in round two.
Dirty jokes allowed but not a lot of profanity if possible.
Thanks to whoever accepts this challenge, and good luck.


Woo! Let's get this on!

On a side note, I would just like to say that some jokes I use may be offensive(high magnitudes perhaps), so if anyone is offended I would like to say that I am not racist, sexist, prejudice, or any bigot of any kind. This is all for the sake of humour.
Debate Round No. 1


I completely agree with you.

A young boy and his friend are talking about ways to con people. His friend says that by saying the phrase, "I know the whole truth." has gotten him rich. The young boy Thinks about this and decides to check this out.

He goes to his mother and says, "I know the whole truth." His mother responds, "Don't tell your father." and gives him 10 dollars. He goes to his dad and says the same thing. He responds with, "Don't tell your mother." and hands him 20 dollars.

He decides to lengthen this and do this to the first adult he sees. He walks outside and sees the mail man. He walks up to him and says, "I know the whole truth." The mail man drops his bags, spreads his arms, and says, "SON!"


An elderly husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle, he thinks to himself, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, "This is truly amazing! I've got to ask them what their secret is."

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Sixty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
Debate Round No. 2


A man wakes up on his birthday, goes downstairs, and sees his wife. He decides to see if she remembered and goes and gives her a kiss. She says good morning, but says nothing about his birthday. His kids give no remark about his birthday either. He gets in his car, disappointed, and heads off to work.

There is heavy rain and a traffic jam, and he gets to work extremely late. When he gets to work, his boss yells at him and completely forgets his birthday as well. He is sent to his desk with paperwork that will take him hours to fill out.

That's when a pretty girl that works next to him gives him a box of chocolates with a happy b-day card. He smiles and ends up chatting with the woman for a half an hour. She then asks him if he wants to come to her apartment for a birthday present. He smiles and agrees.

When they get to the apartment, they have a couple glasses of wine, and talk about life for a couple hours. She then asks hi to excuse as he gets him a "birthday gift". She leaves for the bathroom, and five minutes later, she comes out with his family and co workers, and they all yell "Surprise!" to the man sitting naked on the couch.


Finally laid to rest in a sleek white casket, the late Steve Jobs is surrounded by mourners in a massive cathedral. As the afternoon sunlight shines down on him through intricate stained glass revealing a beautiful spectrum of colours, Mr. Jobs will be remembered in death as he was in life.
Overshadowed by windows.
Debate Round No. 3


Lol good one there. And for my third and last joke...

A blonde is distraught at the fact that he has been cheating on her behind her back. She goes to a gun shop and buys a revolver. She then sneaks through the back door, and catches him in the act of sleeping with another woman. She starts crying and puts the gun to her head. Her boyfriend yells out, "Don't do it! I'm sorry!" She replies with, "Shut up your next!"


Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it"s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
Debate Round No. 4
No comments have been posted on this debate.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by Smithereens 4 years ago
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: counter VB
Vote Placed by loveu157 4 years ago
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Total points awarded:70 
Reasons for voting decision: I thought he was creative and used ones I've never heard before. He did very well.
Vote Placed by Gondun 4 years ago
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Haha, that was pretty good. Well done to both of you.