The Instigator
resolutionsmasher
Pro (for)
Winning
43 Points
The Contender
crackofdawn_Jr
Con (against)
Losing
16 Points

Funniest quotes.

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 9 votes the winner is...
resolutionsmasher
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/2/2009 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 8 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,278 times Debate No: 7193
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (10)
Votes (9)

 

resolutionsmasher

Pro

"Everyone's perspective is wierd to everyone else's. For instance, a basketball is just a normal tool of play. Well Helen Keller thinks we're all stupid because it's her favorite book and you shouldn't throw it around like that!"
-Dan Cook-
crackofdawn_Jr

Con

How many quotes am I allowed to put in a round? For now I'll just put one.

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
Debate Round No. 1
resolutionsmasher

Pro

Girlfriends are typically a lot like your mom. You can always expect to know what their thinking and you can always expect to not like it. This joke goes over well in Arkansas because their girlfriend is REALLY like their mom, oh wait, it is their mom." -Ron White-

Oh and we'll do five in the last two rounds but up until then we'll do it one by one.
crackofdawn_Jr

Con

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
-Homer J. Simpson
Debate Round No. 2
resolutionsmasher

Pro

"Dude 1: Hey what ya got there?
Dude 2: I'm sellin' cotton candy.
Dude 1: What's in it?
Dude 2: A lot of cyanide with a pinch of happiness.
Dude 1: Holy crap!? Physical happiness!!! I'll take seven!!!"
-Cyanide & Happiness-
crackofdawn_Jr

Con

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose."
-Dennis Miller
Debate Round No. 3
resolutionsmasher

Pro

"Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal." -Demetri Martin-

"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack." -Demetri Martin-

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button" -Sam Levenson-
crackofdawn_Jr

Con

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

"What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
-Homer Simpson
Debate Round No. 4
resolutionsmasher

Pro

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
crackofdawn_Jr

Con

"Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back."

"He's got a photographic mind. Too bad it never developed."

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Good debate. :)
Debate Round No. 5
10 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by wjmelements 8 years ago
wjmelements
"Good debate. :)"

I despise these 'debates'. There are no arguments.

These don't belong on this website.
Posted by crackofdawn_Jr 8 years ago
crackofdawn_Jr
PoeJoe, it was just something fun to do. Since overall I don't care THAT much about win percentage I just wanted to do something for fun.
Posted by resolutionsmasher 8 years ago
resolutionsmasher
Who asked you PoeJoe.
The site let me post it so it's a debate.
Posted by PoeJoe 8 years ago
PoeJoe
This is not a debate.
Posted by s0m31john 8 years ago
s0m31john
"I'm not condoning rape. Obviously you should never rape anyone...unless you have a reason, like you wanna #$%^ somebody and they won't let you, in which case, uh, what other option do you have?"
-Louis CK

I win.
Posted by trendem 8 years ago
trendem
I'll vote based on 2 criteria:
(a) Originality:
I had never heard most of the quotes from Pro, so he wins here.
(b) Funniness:
I really liked Pro's quote about a heart attack during charades. Originality probably ties into funniness, as the quotes you've heard before have less of an impact.
Posted by crackofdawn_Jr 8 years ago
crackofdawn_Jr
Woh, I'm down 12-0 already? The debate ended like 30 seconds ago.
Posted by crackofdawn_Jr 8 years ago
crackofdawn_Jr
Lol, sorry. You could just make your own.
Posted by theitalianstallion 8 years ago
theitalianstallion
Curse you Crackofdawn!! Just as I was trying to accept this debate, you did!!

Oh well, I'll find another.
Posted by crackofdawn_Jr 8 years ago
crackofdawn_Jr
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
-Homer J. Simpson
9 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 9 records.
Vote Placed by bookwormbill111 8 years ago
bookwormbill111
resolutionsmashercrackofdawn_JrTied
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Vote Placed by Diebold 8 years ago
Diebold
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Vote Placed by beccanixx 8 years ago
beccanixx
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Vote Placed by cool_dude 8 years ago
cool_dude
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Vote Placed by rougeagent21 8 years ago
rougeagent21
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Vote Placed by s0m31john 8 years ago
s0m31john
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Vote Placed by saamanthagrl 8 years ago
saamanthagrl
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Vote Placed by SaraMarie 8 years ago
SaraMarie
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Vote Placed by resolutionsmasher 8 years ago
resolutionsmasher
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