The Instigator
Jagnatz
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
ccstate4peat
Con (against)
Winning
28 Points

Funny Joke Contest

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
ccstate4peat
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/27/2009 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 819 times Debate No: 8438
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (3)
Votes (4)

 

Jagnatz

Pro

This debate was inspired by a debate you had recently created.
ccstate4peat

Con

Because you didn't post anything in the first round I will return the favor.
Debate Round No. 1
Jagnatz

Pro

A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news".
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible", said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

Two men were captured by a mysterious tribe. The chief told them that they must each choose a type of fruit. They would then be sodomized with that fruit by the members of the tribe and then released from captivity. But if either of them laughed, they would be hanged. The first person chose a cherry, but he failed the challenge and was executed. When arriving at the gates of heaven, God asks him why he had lost the challenge. The man replied "Ha! Ha! Ha! The other guy chose a watermelon!!"
ccstate4peat

Con

A guy gets pulled over because a cop sees him swerving all over the road.
The cop asks him to take a Breathalyzer test. The guy says "Oh no officer I can't do that."
The cop asks why and the guy responds, "I have Asthma and if I breathe into that I might have an asthma attack and die."
The cop asks if he can take him to the station to check his blood. The guy responds, "Oh no officer I can't do that."
The cop seems perturbed but asks why. The guy says, "I'm a hemophiliac and if you draw blood I would keep bleeding an I might die."
The cop asks him if he can walk down the white line on the road. The guy says, "Oh no officer I can't do that."
The cop is livid and yells, "WHY, WHY can't you do that? What possible reason could you have?" The guy responds, "Well I'm drunk."
Debate Round No. 2
Jagnatz

Pro

Jagnatz forfeited this round.
ccstate4peat

Con

This one guy's hunting dog dies so he needed to go get a new one.

He has an extremely pessimistic friend who says that won't find a new dog and if he does, it will not be a good dog.

While he is searching for a new dog, he comes across one that can walk on water.

It costs a fortune but he decides to buy it because he thinks that this might turn his pessimistic friend into a happy person.

The next day, the two go hunting and everytime either one of them shoots a duck, the dog walks on the water to get the duck.

At the end of the day, the guy asks the pessimist if he noticed anything about his dog.

The pessimist says, "Yeah, your dog can't swim."
Debate Round No. 3
Jagnatz

Pro

Jagnatz forfeited this round.
ccstate4peat

Con

Way to forfeit, Jag.
A guy walks into a bar and bets the bartender $50 that the dog can answer any question he asks it.
The bartender accepts the bet. The guy asks his dog what's on top of a house.
The dog says, "ROOF."
The bartender, obviously angry goes double or nothing, but he gets to ask the question.
He asks the dog who the greatest baseball player of all time is.
The dog responds in a voice much like a bark, "RUTH."
The bartender doesn't pay up and kicks them out of the bar.
When they get out of the bar the guy asks what he was doing.
The dog goes, "Should I have said DiMaggio?"
Debate Round No. 4
Jagnatz

Pro

Jagnatz forfeited this round.
ccstate4peat

Con

These aren't exactly jokes, but funny quotes. Jagnatz may want to consider coming back to this website.

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." (1996)

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Debate Round No. 5
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by mongeese 7 years ago
mongeese
I've already read the first two jokes before, but the third joke is new. And funny.
Posted by Jagnatz 7 years ago
Jagnatz
By the way, there is a text limit for each of us, making quality above quantity.
Posted by Jagnatz 7 years ago
Jagnatz
We each may post as many jokes as you want IN THE DEBATE section. Jokes in the comment section, I advise voters, NOT to consider them while voting.
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by KRFournier 7 years ago
KRFournier
Jagnatzccstate4peatTied
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Vote Placed by Maikuru 7 years ago
Maikuru
Jagnatzccstate4peatTied
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Vote Placed by Lexicaholic 7 years ago
Lexicaholic
Jagnatzccstate4peatTied
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Vote Placed by studentathletechristian8 7 years ago
studentathletechristian8
Jagnatzccstate4peatTied
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Total points awarded:07