The Instigator
MassiveDump
Pro (for)
Winning
6 Points
The Contender
Citrakayah
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

GWL_CPA Cannot See Why Kids Love the Taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
MassiveDump
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/15/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 4,297 times Debate No: 34797
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (17)
Votes (2)

 

MassiveDump

Pro

Allow me to introduce you to GWL_CPA.


[http://www.debate.org...]

As you can see, he is a dog.

And, according to his profile, he is a 64 year-old dog.

A canine specimen of that age, along with colorblindness and nearsightedness, would most likely me unable to see decent political views, let alone why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Now, this is the cereal in question:


It's very popular among children, obviously, because of the cinnamon swirls in every bite.

But there's the problem: GWL doesn't give seven sh!ts about children. He wouldn't care if all youth were suddenly wiped off the face of the planet because to him, they're all on weed so they can GTFO.

Which, would usually lead him to posting a link to a video about weed, rather than arguing coherently.

So, along with his poor dog vision amplified by a ridiculous age for a dog, his apathy also prevents him from ever wanting to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

And if it wasn't hard enough for GWL_CPA to see the cinnamon swirls in every bite, it also must be considered that many great minds throughout history couldn't see why kids loved the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch simply because they were just to old to understand. These great minds include Shakespeare, Thomas Jefferson, and '70s black-sploitation star Dolemite.


And in his prime, Dolemite wasn't even all that old. But considering that in dog years, GWL is two hundred sixty-nine (lol 69) years old, it is very, very unlikely that he is within the proper age to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast crunch.

Recap

-
GWL has extremely poor vision.
-GWL wouldn't care to see it, even if he was able to.
-People far younger than GWL couldn't understand it, so how could he?

Conclusion

GWL_CPA cannot see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Kellog's Cinnamon Toast Crunch, part of a complete breakfast.
Citrakayah

Con

I bow towards my great honored opponent, but he does not face a snowball’s change in Hell against I: Slayer of a Thousand Bad Arguments, He Who Stalks the Forums, Great Thread-Ninja of Interception, Fang of the Oppressed, Claw of the Proletariat, and Bane of the Capitalist Dollar-Humping Slugs.

Introduction

Okay, firstly, I totally agree that GWL_CPA is a dog (he used to be an anthro pig with a cigar, but now he’s a dog). Similarly, I am a cheetah, Imabench is a Pirate and presumably a Pastafarian[1], MassiveDump is a ginger, and Subutai is a shapeshifter whose forms include an equals sign, some dude on a horse, and apparently a bubble tank used for studying particle physics[2].

And clearly GWL_CPA is very old for a dog. Impossibly old, in fact. The oldest dog on record was a mere half of his age[3]. Clearly GWL_CPA has a few tricks up his sleeve. Except he doesn’t have sleeves, ‘cause he’s a dog. I suppose he could be a furry and have sleeves that way[4], but that would probably be too gay for him[5]. And no, that link is not to gay furry porn. Sorry to disappoint all of you.

Establishing the Existence of the Undead

From MassiveDump’s own testimony[6], we know that he has no soul. Yet he continues to post, to debate, to make jokes. How is this possible? Surely, since the soul is merely the existence of a consciousness, and MassiveDump is clearly conscious, MassiveDump has a soul?

Well, clearly this view must be incorrect. Therefore, Dungeons and Dragons. MassiveDump has no soul because he fell in battle against a balor during an expedition to the Abyss as part of the Army of a Thousand Paladins (before my opponent objects that he was never a paladin, I would like to point out that he was actually a manservant), and that balor had a Balor’s Sword of Soul Stealing (a Large +3 vorpal bastard sword[7]). MassiveDump was subsequently restored to health by the loyal members of his party, but lost his soul, and his activity on Debate.Org is an attempt to learn more about the world so that h may defeat the balor and reclaim his soul; though the clock is running out and he runs the risk of reveling in his soulless state and doing great damage to this world.

Therefore, the undead exist. Anyone who denies their existence is clearly delusional and may be dismissed, as they deny something as self-evident as the color of the sky (usually gray when overcast).

Why GWL_CPA Is A Revenant

In Dungeons and Dragons terms, a revenant is a creature raised from the dead, with a singular purpose[8]. It is granted immortality and undead status for the purpose of the pursuit of its goal. This can be anything from protecting a person, to getting vengeance, to doing an act of great good. In GWL_CPA’s case, it is vengeance. Evidence for this includes:

  1. GWL_CPA is 269 in dog years. As you have noted, this is an abnormally lengthy amount of time for a dog to be alive. A clear explanation is that he isn’t alive, he’s undead.
  2. GWL_CPA possesses a rabid hatred of marijuana. The very word sends him into jowl-shaking rage with saliva spewing everywhere. Also, he barks at marijuana. Clearly this is a dog driven by a purpose.
  3. GWL_CPA claims to be more mature than you or I. Mature means aged. Aged can mean, in the context of cheese or meat, to be buried underground or put in some dark location and left there. This meaning of aged applies to the undead.
  4. GWL_CPA can type despite being a dog. This suggests that he has telekinesis, hinting at a supernatural origin.
  5. Only an undead dog could be so damn ugly.

GWL_CPA, as you may remember, claims to have smoked marijuana (somehow accomplishing this without opposable thumbs, as he is high) and eventually realized that it was a bad idea. This is a lie. Rather, GWL_CPA operated heavy machinery while high and without opposable thumbs. Therefore, he died by being decapitated by an automatic loom. While dead, GWL_CPA came before the Raven Queen, whom as we all know judges the dead[9]. Even back then he was a bit of a jerk, so he was rude to the Raven Queen and referred to the several thousand year-old goddess as a tart.

That was a bad idea.

The Raven Queen brought him back to life, but only in an undead state, and cast Tralqoisiatohoiehroashfaidtihlasoiyu’s Paralyzing Mindfvck on him. GWL_CPA made his Fortitude save to avoid paralysis, but blew his Will save by rolling a natural 1 (and Wisdom was his stat anyway, so he never had a high Will save bonus to begin with), and suffered 1d8 permanent damage to his Charisma, Intelligence, and Wisdom scores, which all have negative modifiers now because, somehow, the 1d8 rolled a nine.

GWL_CPA blames marijuana for his current sorry state, and due to his vastly decreased intelligence, he has decided that all young people are punks. In GWL_CPA’s mind, or what passes for it, punks like cereal and cinnamon. Also weed, gay marriage, and global warming.

And as we all know, the undead have the eldritch light of the Lower Planes burning in their eyes, and so have no trouble seeing even after the crows have eaten their eyeballs. They can also see in full-color, which was rather nice for GWL_CPA, who, after all, was a dog.

On The Best Way To Defeat Punks

In GWL_CPA’s mind, the best way to defeat punks is to poison them. This is because punks are scary, wear hoodies, and talk like gangstas. GWL_CPA feels nervous around punks. Especially when they’re black or Hispanic[10]. Best to destroy them without every getting too close. They might flip him off, or, because all gays are punks, they might recruit him and turn him gay.

Punks like cereal and cinnamon. This is common knowledge and I should hope I do not have to make this obvious for my opponent.

Therefore, best to poison their cereal.

To do that he has to have an understanding of why kids (who are all punks) like certain cereals; if he did not have this understanding he could not decide which cereals to poison as effectively. While he could analyze statistics, GWL_CPA is not very smart and therefore does not trust any statistics except for those he gathers himself, because he’s convinced that he has ‘experience’ and is therefore superior.

Therefore, GWL_CPA can see why kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

References:

  1. http://en.wikipedia.org...
  2. http://covertress.blogspot.com...
  3. http://www.omg-facts.com...
  4. http://raxkiyamato.deviantart.com...
  5. http://www.visi.com...
  6. http://www.debate.org...
  7. http://www.angelfire.com...
  8. http://en.wikipedia.org...
  9. http://en.wikipedia.org...
  10. http://www.debate.org...
Debate Round No. 1
MassiveDump

Pro

Why I Don't Have a Soul

My opponent's claim is that I don't have a soul because I was killed by the balor brought back from the dead in exchange for my soul. I therefore have been tyring to learn human ways to get get my revenge, hence the reason I'm on debate.org. This claim is wrong.

I don't have a soul, because I'm a ginger.




Gingers are indeed born without souls[1]. They have never had, and can never get, a soul.

Therefore, my opponent has no evidence that the undead exist. And even if they did, GWL would not be one, and here's why:

Why GWL_CPA would NOT be a Revenant

Let's look at the reasons for my opponent's assumption that GWL is a revenant point-by-point:

1. "GWL_CPA is 269 in dog years. As you have noted, this is an abnormally lengthy amount of time for a dog to be alive."

...And by this my opponent believes that the only explanation is that he is a revenant. However, being that he has no evidence for their existance, it's just as (if not more) likely that GWL_CPA is a Time Lord. Since Time Lords can regenerate[2], they can live for an infiite amount of time.

This would also explain his regeneration from a humanoid pig-like creature into a dog form.

2. "GWL_CPA possesses a rabid hatred of marijuana... clearly this is a dog driven by a purpose."

All dogs are driven by a purpose. Air-Bud's purpose was to win just about every sports game there ever was[3]. Clifford's purpose was to randomly grow into the size of a mammoth[4]. And Snoop's purpose was to turn into a lion and sing reggae[5].

Having one specific purpose does not necessarily make a dog a revenant.

3. "Aged can mean, in the context of cheese or meat, to be buried underground or put in some dark location and left there. This meaning of aged applies to the undead."

But GWL is not a cheese, nor a meat. He is a Time Lord dog, Nuff said.

4. "GWL_CPA can type despite being a dog. This suggests that he has telekinesis, hinting at a supernatural origin."

Assuming the more likely, that he is a Time Lord, it's quite obvious that GWL types by using his sonic chewtoy.

5. "Only an undead dog could be so damn ugly."

UGLY IS SUBJECTIVE, SIR. I HAPPEN TO THINK HE'S FLIPPING ADORABLE.

There are many legends of GWL's coming to be on debate.org; there's no way of knowing which one's true. However, considering that he's most likely a time lord of animal origin, the legend of GrumpyHoof.

It's basically a story of how he started out as a pony, got zapped by Celestia, regenerated into a pig and what not, But I won't get into lengthy stories.

But my point is, GWL is more likely the rare breed of animal time lord than a revenant, considering all the things going against him on that subject, also considering revenants may not exist at all.

Therefore, in his current state, he has normal old dog vision and thus can't see why kids love the taste of Cinammon Toast Crunch.

GWL_CPA Does Not Need to See Why Kids Love the Taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch to Poison their cereal.

My opponent's logic is flawed on this matter. He claims that for GWL to poison the cereals of punks, he has to know why they like certain kinds. This is not the case. To be successful in poisoning part of one's complete breakfast, he only needs to know which kinds kids like.

Indeed, He knows that kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but he can't for the ridiculously long life of him see why.

See my second contention in Round 1 that also explains why he could give two sh!ts why.

Therefore, this contention of my opponent's does not prove that GWL_CPA can see why kid slove the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch[6].

And Let's Not Forget:

Remember my third contention in Round 1? Great minds like William Shakespeare, Thomas Jefferson, and '70s black-sploitation star Dolemite couldn't see why kids loved the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.



Do we really expect an upright idiot like GWL to understand? Of course not.

Therefore, GWL_CPA cannot see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Part of a complete breakfast.



Refer to This Stuff:

[1] http://www.jlowman.com...
[2] http://en.wikipedia.org...;
[3] http://airbud.com...
[4] http://en.wikipedia.org...;
[5] https://en.wikipedia.org...
[6] http://ppinadvocates.files.wordpress.com...;
Citrakayah

Con



Why He Has A Soul


Pro’s source argues that gingers should more or less go extinct. This means there will be no more attractive redheads, or at least far fewer of them. Therefore, Pro’s source is evil and, by logical extention, wrong. Nothing more needs to be said, but I’ll say it anyway.


Or, rather, CopperCab will.


Why GWL_CPA Is Too A Revenant



  1. Except I do have evidence that revenants exist. Dungeons and Dragons says they do. Now, on its own, that would be no proof at all! However, sworn testimony from poorly-drawn witches prove that they believe in the power of Dungeons and Dragons[1]. If Dungeons and Dragons was false, it would have no power. Therefore, Dungeons and Dragons is true. And, in any event, a Time Lord would not be racist, and GWL_CPA is.

  2. I submit as evidence the dog I live with, who sleeps, barks at mailmen, closing doors, hoses that have just been turned on, doorbells, people standing at doors, people who are not standing at doors, empty space, cats, squirrels, and on one famous occasion, a potted philodendron[2]. Also, Snoop isn’t a dog. He’s a person in a dog suit in a human suit, obviously.

  3. He is made of meat. All biological lifeforms are made of meat. We are born meat and we die meat, and are therefore very embarrassing to sophisticated aliens[3].

  4. How uncouth. A Time Lord would not chew on their sonic whatsit.

  5. I would suggest, in that case, that Pro seek psychological counseling to determine why he has a love of ugly dogs.


If he’s a dog and can regenerate, why wouldn’t this old dog with a failing body, arthritis (in al probability), and ugly looks kill himself and give himself a better body? Like say a liver fluke? Furthermore, if he is a dog Time Lord, why can’t he heal his eyes?


Seeing Why Kids Love The Taste Of Cinnamon Toast Crunch To Poison Their Cereal


Nope. Short of GWL_CPA walking around with a syringe and injecting boxes with rat poison, the only choice is to poison the stuff at the source. And to do that it would be easier to make his own cereal and sell it. To do that he has to know what kids like.


It’s true that GWL_CPA doesn’t like children. He does care about them, though. He cares about killing them as effectively as possible (also barking at them, but that’s another matter).




  1. http://www.humpin.org...

  2. personal experience

  3. http://en.wikipedia.org...

Debate Round No. 2
MassiveDump

Pro

Revenants Do Not Exist

My opponent just made an accurate claim that gingers do have souls. That said, he has no evidence for the existence of revenants.

Therefore, GWL-CPA is not a revenant.

Therefore, he is not on a mission to poison cereals.

Therefore, he has no reason to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Therefore, there's no evidence available that he can see why. Only evidence that he can't.

GWL-CPA Would Not Be a Revenant

1. Dungeons and Dragons is a game. If this troll debate took place in Fantasyland, that would be a rational argument. But this debate is a big bowl of reality. That said, it is more likely that he's a Time Lord. That said, some Time Lords are racist. The Master wanted to wipe out all of humanity. That's just a big bowl of racist right there.

2. My opponent's statement about his dog confuse me. I'll presume he means that that's his dog's mission. Thank you for supporting my case, Con. My opponent also overlooks the fourth layer of Snoop. He's actually a dog in a human suit in a dog suit in a human suit who was reincarnated into a lion. And that was his mission. All dogs have missions, not just revenants. Let's stay on topic here, Con.

3. Look, whether GWL is meat or not, "aged" is a term used in life as well as in being buried. My opponent has no case here.

4. Was that... was that a penis joke? Anyway, what I was trying to get at is that Time Dogs can type without fingers. My opponent ignored that (with apparently a penis joke).

5. Ugly is still subjective. No proof provided that he is guaranteed ugly.

My opponent then asks why he doesn't regenerate to heal his eyes. As if regeneration is even voluntary at all. Not one of the eleven (soon twelve) doctors ever said, "Well, broke my leg! I'll just regenerate now by my own free will!" No.

No.

...

...

...

...

...

...

No.

Things are Gettin' Cereal Up In Here

"he has to know what kids like."

Yes. He does. Thank you, Con, for once again establishing that. He does not, however, need to know why kids like it. That is what my opponent needs to prove right now.

What My Opponent Has Ignored:

There is still not a single adult, not one, who could see why kids loved the taste of Kellog's Cinnamon Toast Crunch. GWL-CPA is still no exception to this.

tl;dr: Why the Resolution is Still Intact

Because rather that attacking what I've proven at the source, Con beats around the bush with fantasy games and meat accusations.

GWL-CPA Cannot See Why Kids Love the Taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Citrakayah

Con

Oh Yes They Do

Revenants exist because Dungeons and Dragons is true. Again, if gingers have souls, which Pro has just admitted, that means that Pro was de-souled somehow. Pro has given no other explanation, therefore my explanation is conceded to. But I have more evidence of the existence of revenants.

Oh Yes He Would Be
  1. 1. Oh, so Dungeons and Dragons can't be real, but Time Lords can be? Hah. I submit that someone flying around in a police box with a sonic whatsit is far less likely than Dungeons and Dragons being a cover for a secret Satanic cult influencing our children, sapping at civilization, engaging in unspeakable sex orgies, and sweating profusely while wearing heavy black robes. As far as the Master, he was speciest, not racist.
  2. Nope, that's not my dog's mission. He's too damn dumb to have a mission. He's got like Int 1!
  3. And how could he be reincarnated with his memories intact unless he had reincarnate[1] cast upon him? More proof that Dungeons and Dragons is absolute truth. I mean, really. Clear evidence.
  4. No it was not. My opponent is therefore perverted and I move that all his arguments be dismissed on the grounds of extreme perversion. In any event, the sonic whatsits have psychic links. Unless GWL_CPA is that incoherent inside his head, then he should be more coherant when posting. And which is more likely? That he is incoherent in his mind, or that it made perfect sense in his mind but doesn't upon posting?
  5. Subjective my a$$[2].

The doctors were perfectly capable of committing suicide and then regenerating, though.

Things Are Pretty Cerealing Indeed

Again, he has to make his own cereal. To maximize the ability of his cereal to attract kids, he has to know what kinds of things they like. The reason kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch is because it has cinnamon and sugar. That's it. By knowing that kids like this, he knows why they like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Therefore, he can poison the cereal of children more effectively.

Oh Yeah?

What about the marketers?

  1. http://www.reddit.com...
  2. http://www.memecenter.com...
Debate Round No. 3
MassiveDump

Pro

The Existence of Revenants

Disregard what I said in Round Three as is was the wrong way to go about attacking this contention. Rather, I will proceed to rebut what my opponent said in Round Two in a different manner.

First, he states the following:

"Therefore, Pro’s source is evil and, by logical extention, wrong."

Okay, even in a humor debate, I can't call that logic valid.

Secondly, He uses CopperCab to explain how gingers do have souls. The main problem with this is, CopperCab suffers from WTS, or White Trash Syndrome. It's a chronic disease that causes symptoms including incoherent rambling that cannot be taken seriously.

What I'm trying to say is that he's a fat white kid with some problems he needs to work out, not a source.

But, WTS does exist. Just ask my buddy Morgan Freeman:



My opponent still has no solid evidence that Revenents exist at all.

Nuh-Uh (GWL Would Not Be a Revenant)

1. Time Lords are supported by temporal science and other good science things. Dungeons and Dragons is just a game for people with imaginations. Science Fiction always trumps Fantasy. Deal with it. Even heard of the "human race?" Being a speciest is being a racist. Therefore, timelords can be racist.

2. There are no dumb dogs, only dumb owners. Unless my opponent concedes that he's a complete idiot and does not deserve to win this debate, his dog has a mission. Therefore, all dogs have missions, not just Revenant dogs.

3. Time Lords have their memories intact after regenerating. My opponent has no substantial proof here that GWL would be a revenant if they existed.

4. I'm not sure what exactly my opponent is trying to prove here, but my point still stands. The more likely outcome is that he is a Time Dog because Revenants don't exist. Therefore, he can type with his Sonic Chewtoy.

5. Well sh!t, some some ugliness is more subjective that others. But after my opponent posted that, I only find GWL even more flipping adorable.

"You see these eyes? These are old eyes. And they don't see sh!t." -The Doctor.

This quote clearly illustrates why GWL can't get his vision back by simply regenerating.

GWL Still Can't See Why

"The reason kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch is because it has cinnamon and sugar."

That is so false, it makes me want to puke. The real reaon why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch is specifically because of the cinnamon swirls in every bite. If it JUST had cinnamon and sugar arranged in any way at all, it wouldn't be as delicious.

GWL has no reason to know that it's because of the swirls. He can just throw the poison right in there without knowing why.
Effectiveness means nothing, poison is poison.

No Grown-Up Can See Why

"What about the marketers?"

THE MARKETERS ARE CHILDREN!


Therefore, due to an immense lack of evidence to prove otherwise, GWL-CPA cannot see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Crave those crazy squares.
Citrakayah

Con


Yes, Revenants Totally Exist


I totally agree that what Pro said in Round Three was the wrong way to go about attacking my contention. Unfortunately for him, this new approach is also a bad method.


Pro argues that my logic is not valid. Very well, therefore: Pro’s source is evil, and by illogical extension, valid. My statement is one of pure illogic, and thus is perfectly logical. Why?


Humor often relies on illogical concepts Therefore, in a humor debate, it is logical to use illogical arguments. Therefore, the only logical thing is to be illogical. By being logical, Pro is actually degrading his own argument.


There is no evidence that CopperCab suffers from WTS. I demand a doctor’s certificate. Also, if Pro would know if he would have a soul, CopperCab would know if he did too. Since he knows he does, gingers can have souls.


Uh-Huh



  1. Hah. Science fiction is just fantasy, but instead of waving your hands around and teleporting, you have a ‘teleportation device’ which consists of large amounts of technobabble with some buzzwords mixed in. And Doctor Who is more fantasy than most science fiction. For instance, the morphic field[1] and the fundamental entities such as the White Guardian[2]. Meanwhile, Time Lords cause all sorts of antics. Such as a killer Christmas star[3], the Titanic buzzing the Royal Palace[4], the assassination of the President of the United States[5], and the entire Earth being stolen by Daleks[6]. None of these things has happened, therefore Daleks do not exist. Timelords cannot be racist because the human race isn’t actually a race, it is a species.

  2. Oh please. There are totally dumb dogs. For instance, there is a bridge that dogs like to commit suicide off of. If they survive, they will climb back up and jump off again[7]. These are dogs that have no psychological problems, too.

  3. I wasn’t talking about GWL, I was talking about Snoop Lion, who Pro says was reincarnated as a reggae-singing lion. Standard models of reincarnation have the reincarnated soul lose memories. Dungeons and Dragons does not, if reincarnate is cast upon the body.

  4. Apparently my opponent doesn’t understand me, and I’m not sure how to make what I’m saying any clearer.

  5. Okay, the fact that you find him more flipping in comparison to Dog From Hell suggests that maybe he’s actually pretty ugly.


Source? And regeneration can heal broken wrists, why not eyes[8]?


GWL Can Too See Why


Well, the important part is the cinnamon. Blind taste tests show it! And as I said, GWL can’t poison existing cereal, since it’s less effective than making his own poisoned cereal.


Child Labor


Are you implying that the makers of Cinnamon Toast Crunch profit from child labor?




  1. http://tardis.wikia.com...

  2. http://tardis.wikia.com...

  3. http://tardis.wikia.com...

  4. http://tardis.wikia.com...

  5. http://tardis.wikia.com...

  6. http://tardis.wikia.com...

  7. http://en.wikipedia.org...

  8. http://tardis.wikia.com...

Debate Round No. 4
MassiveDump

Pro

Revenants Do Not Exist

"Pro argues that my logic is not valid. Very well, therefore: Pro’s source is evil, and by illogical
extension, valid
. My statement is one of pure illogic, and thus is perfectly logical. Why?"

The validity of a source has never been determined by whether or not it is evil. If a source is evil, it can still be either wrong or valid. There's no logic behind what my opponent stated in the first place.

"Humor often relies on illogical concepts Therefore, in a humor debate, it is logical to use illogical arguments."

And who decided this was a humor debate? All I said was, "Even in a joke debate, I can't call that valid." I never declared this a joke debate; it's not. I truly believe in my heart that GWL-CPA cannot see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"There is no evidence that CopperCab suffers from WTS. I demand a doctor’s certificate."

Okay, fine.

.

.

.

.

.



Satisfied?

"Also, if Pro would know if he would have a soul, CopperCab would know if he did too. Since he knows he does, gingers can have souls."

Yaaaaaay! More flawed logic!

But no. The reason one would know whether he had a soul or not is the same reason he would know whether he had two kidneys. It's medical fact. The reason Coppercab goes off about how gingers do have souls is because of pure rage fueled by his unfortunate case of WTS.

And actually, All of those arguments stray from the real issue. Con has stopped presenting evidence on the existence of revenants, and is now arguing that gingers have souls.

Even if Revenants Existed, GWL Would Not Be One

1. Basically, my opponent stated that because nothing in Doctor Who actually happened, Time Lords don't exist. However, that's not necessarily true. There are numerous occasions when all of reality was reset, causing none of the mentioned event to occur (i.e., the Pandorica flying into the exploding TARDIS[1]). Then, he says that Time Lords aren't racist because the human race is a species. But if that were true, it wouldn't be called a race, would it? At the same time, never in this whole debate has my opponent proven that all Time Lords are anatomically incapable of being racist.

Putting this alongside the evidence above that Revenant's definitely do not exist, GWL is more likely a Time Lord.

Or maybe just an old dog.

2. If all dogs would jump off the dog suicide bridge, then that suggests that all dogs are stupid. Even "Revenant" ones, therefore no dogs are stupid for their standard. Once again, however, my opponent strays from the point: All dogs have quests, not just "revenant" dogs.

3. My opponent took Snoop Lion's "reincarnation" seriously. Snoop Lion is still a dog, simply performing as a lion. But thanks to my opponent, this contention, too, is derailed.

4. Con concedes this point; extend it.

5. More flawed logic. Compared to the dog presented, GWL is cute. If revenants are ugly, GWL is not a revenant. But ugly is subjective, so my opponent has proven nothing.

From my opponent's source: "He heals her hand with a little of his regeneration energy, being scolded by River for wasting the energy."

It's a waste of regeneration energy to heal petty issues. A wiseass like GWL would know that.

GWL Has No Reason to Know Why

"GWL can’t poison existing cereal, since it’s less effective than making his own poisoned cereal."

Well, there we go. Kellogg made Cinnamon Toast Crunch, not GWL. Therefore, GWL doesn't poison Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Child Labor

"Are you implying that the makers of Cinnamon Toast Crunch profit from child labor?"

Yes.

Con concedes the following:

GWL's Vision is Too Poor

The Great Minds of History Couldn't See It; How Could He?

The Resolution Stands More Firm than Dwayne Johnson's Biceps.

Vote Pro.

Sources

[1] http://tardis.wikia.com...;
Citrakayah

Con

On The Existence of Revenants, OR Why My Opponent Is Wrong

In that case, we must ask what is evil. The ultimate in evil here on Earth is Nazis. Now, it's certainly true that if a Nazi said that gravity existed, we wouldn't all start floating. However, the crux of the problem here is that the Nazis weren't wrong about everything, they were wrong about things relating to their evilness. Pro's source wants to get rid of gingers. Because of the huge negative side-effects of eliminating gingers (i.e. eliminating attractive redheads), we must conclude that the source is evil. Since it is evil relating to its ideas about gingers, we have excellent reason not to trust it.

Um. Pro did. He called this a troll debate in R3.

Relating to Pro's picture:
  1. It has no signature.
  2. We have no proof MassiveDump is an M.D. And before someone thinks of it, MassiveDump is a single word and thus would be abbreviated M.
  3. He spelled 'physically' wrong.
  4. For MassiveDump to have written that in 2001, he would have had to be about four. I sincerely doubt that he was an M.D. at that age, therefore he has lied about his credentials, therefore he is evil and not to be trusted.

Even If Revenants Did Not Exist, GWL Would Be One

I would like to ask a question? At what point did GWL_CPA make any fvcking sense? Ever? And what better expression of his utter stupidity and nonsense than to be something non-existent? Truly, that would be a feather in his cap (if he had a cap; dogs don't have caps).

  1. True. But Pro still hasn't accounted for the morphic field and all the other pseudoscientific garbage that Doctor Who features. And while it's true that reality has been reset, the Doctor came back almost immediately. Same episode, in fact. Then my opponent says that just because humans are called a race means they are. To this I would remind MassiveDump that we cannot shape reality with our wishes.
  2. Well, not all dogs would jump off the dog suicide bridge. And if dogs have quests, why do they suddenly abandon them to go jump off the dog suicide bridge? In any event, GWL is actually rather smart for a dog. That's 'cause he was human before and is only now an undead dog.
  3. Yes. Yes, I did. Pro can't suddenly take things back once he's said them.
  4. I didn't concede nothin'.
  5. That dog wasn't a revenant dog, that dog was a zombie dog. Zombie dogs are uglier than revenant dogs. Obviously.

But we've already decided that GWL is not a wisea$$. Quite the opposite. So he wouldn't know that.

Of Course He Does

Exactly. So he's got to know what makes Cinnamon Toast Crunch so delicious if he's to poison as many punks as possible. I don't understand how my opponent doesn't understand this.

Libel

Pro has no proof. I therefore shall be emailing this statement to Kellogg, who shall sue him.

The Resolution Has Been Knocked Down, Beaten Up, Dragged Through Dirt, And Told That It Has Been A Very Naughty Resolution.

Vote Con.

Debate Round No. 5
17 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Citrakayah 4 years ago
Citrakayah
Of which you are not one.
Posted by GWL-CPA 4 years ago
GWL-CPA
Total retards at this site, except for a few adults.
Posted by Citrakayah 4 years ago
Citrakayah
That would explain a great deal!
Posted by Ragnar 4 years ago
Ragnar
That age could be in dog years, making the user in question only about 9 in human years.
Posted by THE_OPINIONATOR 4 years ago
THE_OPINIONATOR
GWL-CPA clearly isn't grown up, I know no mature adult that calls people little turds...
Posted by MassiveDump 4 years ago
MassiveDump
Guess I'm not cool enough to know that super-popular slang term.
Posted by GWL-CPA 4 years ago
GWL-CPA
Jello Opinion, snot.
Posted by MassiveDump 4 years ago
MassiveDump
I'm new and what's a JO
Posted by Citrakayah 4 years ago
Citrakayah
You are one to talk, oh churlish creature of the night.
Posted by GWL-CPA 4 years ago
GWL-CPA
It is fun to see most all of the immature punks at this site gathered here.

You honor me with your nonsense.

Maybe some day you little thoughtless immature punks will grow up.

A total JO and a moron who thinks he is a fing cheetah. Two mindless turds.

But, have fun with your mindless attack on me.

Pathetic Turds.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by Ragnar 4 years ago
Ragnar
MassiveDumpCitrakayahTied
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Reasons for voting decision: lol... Anyway neither argument seemed to stay anywhere near the resolution, thus a bit of a fail debate (no votes from me). However why debate about a user who for all his great effort, has yet to win a single debate?
Vote Placed by JustinAMoffatt 4 years ago
JustinAMoffatt
MassiveDumpCitrakayahTied
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Total points awarded:60 
Reasons for voting decision: What a debate! This was riveting, from the opening arguments to the final, breathtaking statement. All in all, this round really changed my outlook on life drastically. I applaud the both of you. RFD Conduct - I didn't appreciate Con's rough treatment of the resolution. It was violent and quite barbaric. As a stringent supporter of resolution rights, I can't support it. S/G - gah both ur grammer sux Args- In the end, I was left with the impression that GWL_CPA didn't really need to know why kids loved Cinnamon Toast Crunch, just what was in it so he could replicate it. Con never countered Pro's point on this. Sources - Morgan Freeman. 'Nuff said. Oh, and the certificate looked legit to me. Having several friends who suffer from WTS, I consider myself quite the expert. Great job both of you.