Gay Marriage should be legalized soon but Straight Marriage should be illegalized immediately
Debate Rounds (4)
Hello, My name is Imabench,
AND THIS IS YOUR WEEKLY IMABENCH TROLL DEBATE :D
This weeks topic, Gay Marriage (man and man or woman and woman) should be illegalized sometime in the near future (like in a month), but straight marriage (man and a woman) should be ILLEGALIZED IMMEDIATELY. Any idiot can argue on whether or not gay marriage should be legal, but it takes a true dumba** like me to argue that straight marriage shouldnt be legal at all ;D. I will introduce arguments in later rounds though.
There are only 2 parameters for this debate.
- Con must agree that Mitt Romney is a really sh*tty person to go up against Obama
- Con must agree that Rick Santorum was a crack head
First round is acceptance only, LET THE DEBATE BEGIN!
Yes Mitt Romney is shitty against badass Obama and Santorum was an evangelical crack head
I will be arguing that neither gay or heterosexual marriage should be legal
1) Why not?
2) They should have the right to, they are people to and they deserve more of a right to get married out of true love then a heterosexual couple who hate each other
3) nobody gives a f*ck about what the bible says because the verse that says that gay marriage is an abomination because the Bible is a really f*cked up book....
4) It would be fun to watch homophobes hide in fear
5) It would bother a certain number of conservatives on this site, and it would amuse me
6) Gay guys are the ultimate chick magnets and having gays around immediately improves your chances of getting laid.
7) Guys can finally live in a marriage where they dont want to kill themselves every time they wake up
and most importantly
8) If two women get married, and they get into a fight, we can figure out which one wins! (My bet is that its the one in the kitchen, the one who cleans the most, or the one who makes sandwiches the best)
(If the latter is the true reason then I would also like to mention that Royal would be able to win a fight against LDF because Royal is great at making sandwiches)
Now then, reasons why straight marriage should be banned...
1) They rarely work out. 50% of all marriages end in divorce so either you get divorced, or your wife does
2) If marriage wasnt recognized between heterosexuals then men would get more action all the time. Lets face it the minute you say "I Do" you also say "No you dont" to your penis cause the amount of action he gets in the future just plummeted to zero. If straight marriage were illegal though women would put out more to make sure their men stay and live with them (which would still be allowed)
3) Women and men fight all the f*cking time, they are not meant to live in the same house together because men are naturally filthy whereas women are clean. Meanwhile in the bathroom a mans bathroom is sparse and open whereas a woman's bathroom is covered in so much crap that you cant even take a sh*t on the toilet because your sister likes to leave her toe painting sh*t on the toilet where she paints them and when you put it back where it belongs she gets pissed off at you for no reason. Now you use your parents bathroom since your sister is such a b*tch but your parents wont let you and you would use your little brothers but it smells like piss and so now you have to take a sh*t and cant go anywhere......
4) Straight Marriage is a socialist society where only a fraction of people make all the money but then that money is redistributed among people who are lazy and dont do anything, meaning that capitalists naturally would support the abolition of heterosexual marriage
5) Heterosexual marriage is a leading cause of the STD known as "children" which is a burden on the entire society.
6) Heterosexual marriage causes tensions between the mom and dad where mom b*tches all the time about stuff and the dad then goes out getting hammered drunk and coming home with his "friends" who smell like booze and titty bars...
These are my reasons for why gay marriage should be legal but straight marriage should not. I may add more arguments later, but for now I will allow the con to offer counter arguments.
1) Why not? I'll tell you why not! Because marriage in general whether you are straight or gay is almost always a bad idea.
Marriage causes all these annoying legal obligations and finances on property that you can avoid by simply living together.
Weddings also cause the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" philosophy because if you're a husband and your wife has like those annoying gossiping friends who brag about how much money they get their man to blow on them, then of course your wallet is going to start hurting really really badly....
Fiance: "Hey Mary I heard you got engaged"
Mary: "My husband got me an 10,000 dollar wedding ring! Oh how much did yours cost?"
Fiance: (All of a sudden feeling embarrassed) "Uh...it cost 11,00 dollars! (lying)
You see what happens? And all this shallow nonsense could be avoided
This is typically how those annoying friends of your fiance would look like
2) No, neither sexual orientation should have the option of marriage for it is like having the option to pay to have an awkward family dinner with your girlfriend's/boyfriend's parents
3) No certainly I don't give a f*ck what "the Conservative Douchebag Handybook" says either but instead of looking at gay people not being able to marry as a bad thing look at it as lucky. Straight people are jealous of gay people not having to face that awkward question of their partner wanting to marry
Gay people exp:
Frank: "I wanna marry you!"
Joe: (Uh-oh) "We can't! I would love to but it's against the law!"
(See how it worked out)
Straight people exp:
Jenny: "Let's marry!"
Tom: (Uh-oh) "Straight people can't marry! It's against the law!"
Jenny: "No it's not!"
4) Yes it would be fun to see homophobes hide in fear but we have to pretend we are more refined and civilized than that
5) See point 4
6) Well you see getting laid doesn't have anything to do with marriage. You can hang around gay guys to get you laid without having them get married. And also, saying that you want to get married to have sex is like getting on an airplane for the free packet of peanuts they give out
7) Well what if they can't stand that guy they are married to either
8) Well that can apply to straight marriage too
Well for the latter I agree that straight marriage should be banned too. So anything that you say that is sh1tty about straight marriage can also apply to gay marriage. So I can't really argue against these points. I am arguing that neither gay or straight marriage should be legal as I said earlier in the first round
"1) Why not? I'll tell you why not! Because marriage in general whether you are straight or gay is almost always a bad idea."
Straight people marriage is a nightmare but Gay marriage is just like having a guy or a girl having a roommate, except that the two roommates like to f***.
"Marriage causes all these annoying legal obligations and finances on property that you can avoid by simply living together."
Yes but heres the thing, thats already how it is. Straight people are allowed to live with girls and not be married, however gays can do the same thing but they actually WANT marriage to be an option so that they can refuse it anyways.
Ever complain about something that you dont want just to make a point? Gay Marriage is just like one of those things.
Weddings also cause the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" philosophy
Nobody cares about the Jonas Brothers, those virgins are a stain on the music industry and every day a national tragedy happens when those 3 are found ALIVE in their apartments.
(Same thing with different girl)
"neither sexual orientation should have the option of marriage for it is like having the option to pay to have an awkward family dinner with your girlfriend's/boyfriend's parents"
All dinners are awkward though because all parents are psychotic!!! ESPECIALLY when meeting new people.
(See video above)
"I don't give a f*ck what "the Conservative Douchebag Handybook" says either but instead of looking at gay people not being able to marry as a bad thing look at it as lucky"
If gays want to have the ability to be miserable as f*ck then we should give them the option! SAY NO TO AN OPPRESSIVE GOVERNMENT!!!!!!
"Straight people are jealous of gay people not having to face that awkward question of their partner wanting to marry"
No, Straight people are jealous of gay people because ALL SMOKING HOT WOMEN ONLY FALL FOR GAY GUYS FOR SOME F*CKING REASON AND ITS BULLSH*T
" it would be fun to see homophobes hide in fear but we have to pretend we are more refined and civilized than that"
Man f*ck being civilized, how can be we be civilized when the f*cking Kardashian's are rich for no f*cking reason!?!??! Being civilized sucks, it forces you to be politically correct and doesnt let people say what they want.
I THINK THAT SANTORUM SHOULDNT
CRITICIZE GAYS UNTIL HE TRIES
SHOVING A DILDO UP HIS A** FIRST!!!!!
THERE I SAID IT. In a "civilized" culture I wouldnt have been able to say that though I would have had to keep my mouth shut. Being Civilized means shutting the f*ck up AND I WONT STAND FOR IT
"Well you see getting laid doesn't have anything to do with marriage"
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???? Women let guys f*ck them WAAAAAAAAAAY less once they are married to them, its common psychology, if you like a man then you let him have sex with you so you dont lose him, if your married to him then you beat the game so now you dont have to have sex with him. Its Marriage logic 101!
" saying that you want to get married to have sex is like getting on an airplane for the free packet of peanuts they give out"
EXACTLY which is why Marriage should be outlawed for straight people!
"Well what if they can't stand that guy they are married to either"
Tell them your straight, that solves everything
"I am arguing that neither gay or straight marriage should be legal as I said earlier in the first round"
Well read the debate resolution skippy cause your conceding half of your argument by saying that straight people shouldnt get married either.
1) No if they are married and they are treated with the same benefits as straight marriage than they shall have a nightmare too. Marriage will be a "sexless" nightmare regardless of sexual orientation
2) But....there's not point in that
3) LOOL my opponent here is clearly mistaken
Jonas Brothers does not equal the Joneses philosophy
And Justin Beiber does not equal the Jonas Brothers (There is a difference between one little queermo selling sex to little girls and three little queermos selling sex to little girls)
But I feel a little bad for the JonA$$ Brothers because Mickey Mouse forces them to be stupid and beats the sh1t out of them!!!
4) Yes all family dinners are awkward which is why no one should have to pay to have one!!
5) Well then that should go for straight people too
6) Lool I'm sensing some personal problems....oooh SHIIITTT
7) Well....obviously I'm much more sophisticated and classy....
I think that that Santorum comment should be better worded as "I have a thought that maybe perhaps that Santorum should obstain from critisizing homosexuals until he attempts to insert a sex device up his rectum." I think that sounds a lot more pleasant...DON'T YOU?? :D
No being civilized just means you look cooler
8) Lool well I guess i just worded that statement retarded. I meant that you saying that girls would f*ck guys that hang out with gay guys has nothing to do with gay people being married, you can hang out with a gay guy without them being married, so it was a non sequitur
9) AND GAY PEOPLE
10) Also for straight marriage: tell them you're gay and that will solve everything
11) I am going against the premise by saying that "no I don't agree that gay marriage should be legalized and straight marriage should be illegalized, I think that neither gay marriage nor straight marriage should be legal"
1) Marriage is a sexless doom for everyone, straight people learned that the hard way, if gays though still choose to fight for gay marriage rights then we might as well give in to their demands and legalize it since they want it so bad. If they want to be miserable, fine, it will actually make them happy for some reason.
2) Marriage does complicate things, but if gays want to complcate their lives they can because this is America!
3) Jonas Brothers, Joneses philosophy, Jehovas Witnesses, its all the same thing the point is that weddings do make things worse and we can now save straight people from them. Gay people though love weddings (according to my dictionary of stereotypes) and they should have a right to get married if they want to, if they regret it we can liberate them too but that will come later.
4) Family dinners are awkward but its because parents are crazy as sh*t not because marriage makes them awkward.
5) Marriage will already be banned for straight people because straight people have learned a valuable lesson on how tortuous marriage can be. It is a natural cycle of wanting something, then not want it after a while, and the cycle cant be skipped. Gays should start the process of enjoying the right to marry and then regretting it ebcause its a lesson that people must learn naturally.
6) Its not just my personal problems alright, the only time that women ever put out anymore is if you blow a crap ton of money on them, and the more christian they are the bigger of a pain in the a** it becomes. But guys can play all their cards right and then have it all undone because her friends like to gossip and talk sh*t about you that isnt true and whatever it is they do talk about it suddenly becomes a deal breaker to the person who you are really into.
7) Being civilized blows, and anyone who has ever enjoyed wearing sweatpants in public knows how awesome it is to not have to worry about people judging you. Being civilized means that you cant express yourself, it means you have to choose words carefully so that what you truly feel isnt what others hear. Being civilized shouldnt have priority over being free to say whatever it is that is on your mind, and being civilized means that I cant yell out whatever I am thinking of which is why being uncivilized is better.
Civilized version: "I do believe that America is rather beneficial to the outcome of the world and those who disagree do not know what is best for them"
Uncivilized Version: "AMERICA, F*CK YEAH!!!!!"
See the difference?
"No being civilized just means you look cooler"
No it doesnt, it makes you look like a d-bag.....
8) "girls would f*ck guys that hang out with gay guys has nothing to do with gay people being married"
If gay marriage is legal then more people would express who they are and come out about being gay.... That would allow straight people to get laid since more gay guys = more chances for men to get laid. Its simple mathmatics
9) I CAN YELL THINGS BY TYPING IN ALL CAPS TOO
10) Guys cant fake being gay, gay guys can fake being straight though. Its common stereotypes AND mathematics.
I thank the con for a wonderful debate and I thank the voters for reading :D
1) But it's like this. If gay people learned from straight people that marriage sucks, then they should prevent themselves from endless torture, wasted money and plenty of money. We should spread the horror of marriage to raise awareness
2) Same for straight people I guess
3) Then we can save gay people from them too! Straight women according to my dictionary of stereotypes also love weddings but that doesn't discourage the fact that weddings blow hard
4) If you're married I'm thinking you would have to go to those awkward dinner a lot more often. And yes it's also because parents are crazy as f*ck
5) Spread awareness about how much marraige sucks so that gay people won't have to endure the painful endless suffering and torture that straight people had to deal with
6) Sounds like personal problemss.....
7) No being civilized for me just means to be polite, well mannered and humane. I for one wear whatever the hell I want and express myself the way I want to, but my mannerisms are still polite because I like treating people kindly.
Like all you need is love maaaaaaan
8) I guess I'll give you this one
10) No I'm pretty sure guys can fake being gay
I thank Pro for this cool debate and I shall await for the decisions of my fellow brethren ;D
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by miketheman1200 4 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: con pretty much gave up towards the end. Sources goes to pro for the one or two he had. Conduct to yarely, I still lol'd at the rick santorum thing. imabench was able to make more arguments, while con wasnt able to effectivley refute them.
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