The Instigator
BigSky
Pro (for)
Winning
6 Points
The Contender
philochristos
Con (against)
Losing
3 Points

God Exists (nonsensical debate)

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
BigSky
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/28/2013 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 3,353 times Debate No: 30831
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (9)
Votes (3)

 

BigSky

Pro

I will try to prove God's existence using completely nonsensical arguments. My opponent will do the same except for why he doesn't exist.

The person with the less credible arguments wins.
philochristos

Con

I couldn't resist accepting. Good luck to you!
Debate Round No. 1
BigSky

Pro

Thank you my opponent for accepting this debate, it will prove futile however as God's existence is obviously obvious. Most people ask me how I know a God exists, and I always respond, because of the bible!


TheBible


The bible has various excerpts which prove without a doubt there is a God. Here are a few examples:


John 4:21 states that "On December 21, 2012, I will condemn all atheists to eternal torment in hell." If God didn't exist, then we would still have atheists! My heart goes out to the theist relatives of the poor atheists who were killed on December 21.


Mark 2: 10 states that "Abortion is bad, bad people have abortions, and abortions kill babies! Amen I say to you, do not have an abortion!" Since there weren't professionally done abortions in the time of Christ, how else would the Bible have known that an Abortion is so easy to have these days? Even Pope John Paul the Third agrees that God exists! That certainly proves it!


Tommy 1:17 says that "I am real, you must believe in me!" God is real because God said he is real, and those who say God isn't real can go jump a bridge.



Other Proofs of God's existence


Without God, we wouldn't have several things we have!

1) Optimus Prime! If we didn't have a kind and loving God, then the Autobots would have undoubtedly joined the decepticons, seeing as how there would be no moral right to freedom!


2) Gay People! Without a creator, we would probably all be straight, seeing as how there would be no anti-Gay movement to rebel against! Which is really the only reason we have gay people!


3) Church! Everybody loves church, and without a God to worship, we wouldn't be able to worship a God. Especially after the war of 1999, where we fought for freedom against the evil Mexican Jews of the southern pacific! God bless the Americans who dies to triumph over the Mexican Jews!


4) Scented Candles! Without God, we wouldn't have scented candles, because in the Bible, Moses said, "The Avengers have protected your home, but they have not provided you with scented candles! Worship me and you will receive an endless supply of scented candles, and we certainly have!


Conclusion

Not enough people believe in God, and it is quite sad after all the things he has done for us.

Join me now in a belief in God, to abolish Christian Slavery in Montana, and regain control over the Capitol city from the Mexican Jews!

1) See this shotgun?

2) Therefore, God exists.



















philochristos

Con

Argument from a monkey's uncle

1. If God exists, then I'll be a monkey's uncle.

2. I will never be a monkey's uncle.

3. Therefore, God does not exist.

Ontological argument against God.

Dog is a being than which none worse can be conceived.

If Dog only existed in the mind, but not in reality, then Dog wouldn't be the worst conceivable being because a worse being could be conceived, namely, one that exists in reality.

Therefore, Dog exists in reality.

God is the greatest conceivable being (GCB). A being that could prevent the GCB from existing would be worse than a being who could not. Since Dog is the worst conceivable being, he must have the ability to prevent the GCB from existing. And since he's such a nasty unscrupulous fellow, that's exactly what he'd do. Therefore, God does not exist.

Argument from Chuck Norris

1. God does not exist.

2. Chuck Norris.

3. Therefore, I am right, and you are wrong.

Argument from the horse shoe

1. Since the nail was lost, the horse shoe was lost.

2. Since the horse shoe was lost, then the battle was lost.

3. Since the battle was lost, the war was lost.

4. Since the war was lost, then atheists were right.

5. Since the atheists were right, there is no God.

6. Therefore, since the nail was lost, there is no God.

7. Therefore, there is no God.

Argument from unchangeable cats

1. If there were a God, then he could turn cats into dragons.

2. No cat has ever been turned into a dragon.

3. Therefore, there is no God.

Argument from yesterday

1. If there had been a God yesterday, then he would've known that there was a God today.

2. Since there is no God today, God could not have known yesterday that there was (after all, knowledge is justified true belief).

3. Therefore, there was no God yesterday.

If there were no God yesterday, then there couldn't possibly be a God today because gods cannot pop into being uncaused out of nothing. Only a god that already exists would have any hope of bringing a God into being, but since there was no God yesterday, there can't be a God today either.

Therefore, there is no God yesterday, today, or forever.

Debate Round No. 2
BigSky

Pro

“Argument from a monkey's uncle”

My opponent has not
provided adequate proof that he is not a Monkey’s Uncle, therefore, he must be
a monkey’s uncle. God said that all humans evolved randomly through a process
called evolution, he said that if creationist ever tell you to believe that a
God exists, to ignore them, and so I shall. Since we evolved from monkeys,
there is a 97.8% chance that my opponent was in fact a monkey’s uncle. I sure
know I am!

“Argument from Chuck Norris”

1)
If Chuck Norris says there is a God, there is a
God.

2)
If Chuck Norris told me I was a girl, I would be
a girl.

3)
If Chuck Norris voted on this debate, he would
vote in favor of God.

4)
Chuck Norris is never wrong.

5)
There is a God.

philochristos

Con


In this round, I will attempt to refute my opponent's arguments for God.


The argument from obvious obviousness


Pro claims that God's existence is obviously obvious, but since it's obvious that nothing can be obviously obvious, then obviously God can't exist.


The Bible


Pro has taken Tommy 1:17 out of context. It's true that it says, "I am real, you must believe in me." However, Pro mistakenly implies that God is the one who is speaking. In reality, it's Dog. And as we saw from my opening, Dog prevents God from existing.


Mark 2:10 does, in fact, warn against abortion, and it's true that there were no professional abortions in the time of Christ. However, this is no proof of God because the command was intended to apply to humans living another thousand years from now, not today. So Mark 2:10 was wrong after all; therefore, this is no proof of God.


The argument from John 4:21 is unsound due to false premise. There are still atheist. Dog, for example, is an atheist.


1. Optimus Prime.


While it may be true that Optimus Prime requires the existence of God, he is also inconsistent with the existence of God. So Optimus Prime actually renders the whole concept of God incoherent.


2. Gay people


I don't know why Pro thinks gay people require God. Considering all the vitriol people spew toward God, it seems like they'd be quite gay if it turned out God didn't exist.


3. Church


If there were no God, we'd live in a world without liars. Then one day Ricky Gervais would tell the world's first lie.[1] That would result in a church. So Pro is wrong.


4. Scented candles


Without God, we wouldn't have logic, and without logic, all the candles could melt even though there were no candles, and once the candles melted, God would no longer exist. Therefore, scented candles do not prove God.


Argument from shotgun


Some shot guns come with two barrels, which resembles a forked tongue, which is a metaphor for lying. Therefore, shotguns do not prove that God exists.


Conclusion


Darn the luck! I forgot my strongest argument against the existence of God. I'm going to add this for informational purposes alone. This should not count in the voting since it's in the last round and Pro won't have an opportunity to refute it.


The argument from rock paper scissors lizard Spock


Disagreements among friends can be settled by recourse to rock paper scissors lizard Spock.[2] Notice that God is absent from the equation. Since God is unnecessary in conflict resolution, the parsimonious conclusion is that there is no God.


Second conclusion


Thank you for coming to tonight's debate.




[1] http://www.imdb.com...



[2]




Debate Round No. 3
9 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 9 records.
Posted by PonyGirl 3 years ago
PonyGirl
Congrats on winning bigsky
Posted by BigSky 3 years ago
BigSky
I still dont understand how I came up with Mexican Jews...
Posted by philochristos 3 years ago
philochristos
Ditto.
Posted by BigSky 3 years ago
BigSky
Good Job my opponent
Posted by PonyGirl 3 years ago
PonyGirl
Well said like real judges.:) good luck!
Posted by BigSky 3 years ago
BigSky
yeah, we can do that
Posted by philochristos 3 years ago
philochristos
You know, we ought to use the last round to give non-sensical refutations of each other's arguments.
Posted by BigSky 3 years ago
BigSky
lol
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by johnlubba 3 years ago
johnlubba
BigSkyphilochristosTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: The truth is out there but lies are in your head....Terry Pratchet.
Vote Placed by AlwaysMoreThanYou 3 years ago
AlwaysMoreThanYou
BigSkyphilochristosTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Dog makes me think of Dogknox, and Dogknox exists, so God exists.
Vote Placed by Citrakayah 3 years ago
Citrakayah
BigSkyphilochristosTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: I personally found 'scented candles' funnier than the argument from Dog.