God exists-joke debate

This is a joke debate, to see who can come up with the worst/funniest arguments for/against God.

God for this debate is defined as the supreme being who you must believe in or else you'll go to hell.

Ad hom attacks are permitted and encouraged.

First round is for acceptance. If you use the first round for anything other than acceptance God will kill you and you're going to hell.

Okay, I found this when I was looking at your profile and the challenge just seemed too good to not grab it immediately while it was still out there. I will present my opening arguments here.

Opening Arguments:

There is no proof that God exists

If there was one supreme being why would people of different religions believe different things? Every religion has their own beliefs which clearly contradict those of other religions.

God is the reverse of dog

If god is really supreme, why would he choose a name that is an anagram of "dog". I don't believe that a supreme being would want to be associated with an animal.

"Tom" in Tom and Jerry Cartoons always goes to hell no matter how nice he is to Jerry

If god was supreme, he would have forgiven Tom at least once and let him go to heaven. Instead he sends Tom to a boiling pit in hell every single time.

Conclusion

There is no god. period.

Now I'm just bracing myself for the ad-hom.

Wow. First of all, my heathen, satan worshipping opponent is going to hell because he didnt use to opening round for acceptance. Also, if you believe anything any of his arguments say thats satan temtping you and you're going to hell.

I would want to thank him for a good round, I would be lying and liars go to hell.

I know that God exists because I went back in time via my time machine and met Jesus and watched him die on the cross. I video taped it but God took away my camera, the stupid jerk. I shouldnt have said that. I didnt mean it. Hopefully I wont go to hell. Oh well. Anyway, God took away my camera so as proof I'm going to say that I went back in time and witnessed my Opponents birth in London, England on June 17th 1983. He was born to a mother named josephine who was 24 at the time, and a father named Hanz who was 26. His grandfathers fought on opposite sides in the batttle of the Bulge. If he denies any of this, its because hes a filthy heathen liar. I was there. God exists. I know. Vote pro or go to hell.

Also, I am a prophet from God. Heres some more proof of this: As you read this sentence, you will feel an itch somewhere on your body. I used my divine powers given from God to make that happen.

Oh, and we know God exists because the bible says so.

Now I'll take down the heathens stupid arguments. BTW when did we stop burning these people at the stake? seriously, since when is it ok to question God? Man, I hate secular people. If you disagree, go to hell.

There is no proof that God exists

yeah well there isnt any proof he doesnt exist either!!

God is the reverse of dog

dogs are mans best friends. this just supports my side. God loves us so he gave us dogs and named them after him.

"Tom" in Tom and Jerry Cartoons always goes to hell no matter how nice he is to Jerry

Tom is a cat. cats hate dogs. dogs ar supreme beings sent from God. Thats why he goes to hell.


Vote pro or have fun in eternal damnation forever.

F-16_Fighting_Falcon forfeited this round.
















































Just kidding.
This is the ultimate ad-hom attack on Pro. Since ad-hom attacks are encouraged in this "joke" debate by Pro, I will be a jerk and save all my points for the last round when Pro can't respond. Vote Con for being a jerk.

Here, I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that god doesn't exist.

Arguments

1) I am not in hell despite posting opening arguments in the first round. It has been two rounds and I am still on Earth typing this round, so Pro's contention is negated.

2) Pro claims that dogs are supreme beings. If there were true, god's wife would be a bitch since female dogs are known as bitches. Unless Pro is ready to claim that god's wife is a bitch and Jesus is a puppy, god does not exist.

3) Pro's picture shows a naked guy sitting on a bunch of other naked guys. It looks more like a war crime committed during the Iraq war than "god" which Pro claims it is.

4) If god existed, would he have created someone like my opponent whose life's ambition is to catch as many people as he can and give them the Death Penalty? I wonder where Con is going to go after putting so many people to death.

5) My opponent's state's motto is: "Kill a Texan, we, as the State of Texas, will kill you back!" [1]. If a god existed, he would have allowed neither my opponent nor the state of Texas to exist. Since Texas exists, as does my opponent, God does not exist.

6) The devil exists as shown here, http://bit.ly...;
If God really was supreme, he would have killed the devil by now but he hasn't, hence God doesn't exist.

These point together prove that there is no god. Vote Con for screwing Pro out of a chance to respond to my arguments as well as proving that there is no god.

Sources
[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com...