The Instigator
imabench
Pro (for)
Losing
5 Points
The Contender
DakotaKrafick
Con (against)
Winning
9 Points

HAVING ONE TESTICLE IS BETTER THAN HAVING THREE TESTICLES!!!!! (Oh yes I did)

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 5 votes the winner is...
DakotaKrafick
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/2/2012 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 15,797 times Debate No: 21671
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (28)
Votes (5)

 

imabench

Pro

YOU READ THE TITLE RIGHT PEOPLE!!!!!! I AM HERE TO ARGUE THAT HAVING ONE TESTICLE IS BETTER THAN HAVING THREE TESTICLES!!!!!!!

The Pro (me) is arguing that one testicle is better,
The Con (con) is arguing that having three testicles is better.

Try to keep it clean
4 rounds
1st round acceptance
6,000 characters
This debate is meant to be entertaining and informative at the same time

Testicles: Those things male humans have that are the real sperm banks
Better: More advantagous or beneficial than the other option

ABSOLUTELY NO PICTURES OF PEOPLE WITH 1 OR 3 TESTICLES IN THIS DEBATE



DakotaKrafick

Con

I accept and will be arguing that, contrary to my opponent's beliefs, it is better to be a non-stop machine of sexual vigor than what can only be described as half a man. It's on like Donkey Kong, et al.


(Also, while I appreciate the rule at the end, I would prefer there to be no nude pictures of men with two testicles either.)


Debate Round No. 1
imabench

Pro

Reasons why having one testicle is better than having three testicles

1) More space in your underwear
If you have one testicle, then all of your underwear would probably become a little more spacious and comfortable. Having three testicles though and its gonna get crowded down there

2) Easier to ride a horse.
Riding a horse without a saddle is very painful to men, mostly because you have a 300 pound horse and a 140 pound you mash your own nuts between these to over and over..... With one testicle angled the right direction horseback riding can become a lot more comfortable..... With three testicles though you will feel like you are getting kicked in the nuts every time the horse gallops.

3) Smaller target
Lets say you really annoy a woman, whether it be accidentally or on purpose. The number one tool women use to mess with men besides playing mind games is a good old fashioned foot to the nuts... Now if you have only one testicle then the target she has to put you in serious pain just got quite a bit smaller and quite a bit easier to defend against. With three balls though the target you have is only going to get LARGER which increases your chance of you ending up on the floor in pain probably coughing up blood....

4) Its easier to explain to women
Lets say your about to go reproduce with a woman, but when your in your natural form she notices something is a little wrong south of the border..... With one testicle you could argue that you had to get it removed because of testicular cancer or you lost in it an accident (there was an episode of scrubs where turk had one of his testicles removed because his son kicked it very hard) Both of these do happen and it could still be overcome and result in the rest of the night ending in reproduction.......... With THREE testicles though its a little harder to explain to a girl since the only way you can get a third ball is if something is very wrong with you or if something happened causing one ball to divide into two smaller mutant balls left with one normal sized ball along with the sha-bang-a-bang (penis) on top of that.

Point is its a lot easier to explain to a girl why you have one testicle instead of three, and its also more likely to get over it and get back on track with one testicle than with three....

5) Support groups
There are more support groups for men who have lost 1 ball or only have 1 ball then there are about men who have 3 balls. So if you are under stress about your situation below the border, there are more people out there willing to help you if you have 1 testicle than if you had 3

https://www.google.com...

https://www.google.com...

75,400,000 results for support groups for men with 1 ball
54,100,000 results for support groups for men with 3 balls
DakotaKrafick

Con

Thank you, Pro, for your insightfully feminine response. I must concede that having one testicle does appear to be better if you're a pantyhose-wearing, pony-rider who gets into catfights with other girls and needs to visit a support group to let your Cub Scout tears flow while you wave a fist angrily at the ceiling, shouting "Why, God? Why have you cursed me to this life of being not quite a woman, but not quite a man either?"

Here are my reasons for why having an inhumanely large sack of testosterone is better:

1. Better to have too many than too few

So, big guy, find yourself in a pickle for having an odd number of gonads? If that number happens to be three, then fear not! It's a snap to snip away any unwanted testis so you can finally join the parties of normal, two-testicled men and women (adjectives not meant to also modify "women"). Oh, what's that? You only have one? Well, then don't cancel your appointment to that support group for virgins because you'd be hard-pressed to find a willing genitalia donor. Yeah, good luck with that, champ.

Point is, you can always go from three to two if you want, but you can't go from one to two (at least not as easily).

2. Spermatozoa Count (hey, I learned a new word!)

That's right, as my opponent said, testis have the monopoly on sperm production, which means having three of these bad boys will effectively transform your tra-la-la into a shotgun of pure ecstasy. This is better in multiple (and manly) ways:

1. Higher chance of sex
Women from all around the world (and even some men) will fly first-class Delta to your front door to experience your cojones' irresistible power. As Confucius once said, "In the world of two-testicled men, the three-testicled man is a real baller."

2. Higher chance of pregnancy
Alright, now you've decided your raving gigolo days are over and want to settle down and start a family. Being divinely blessed with three testicles is undoubtedly better as it produces and allows for many more of God's wonderful creations to swim determinedly to the egg cell at the finish line and instantly create a brand-new smiling baby! With only one measly testicle, God will look upon your pathetic swag futilely attempting to procreate and frown disapprovingly (and then probably put a curse on your crops or something).

3. Higher chance of wet dreams
Even if you're not sexually active, having a surplus of eager-to-be-free sperm can cause wet dreams, those fantastic sensations of spontaneous orgasms during sleep. We can only assume that single-testid men dream about being alone and unable to even sexually woo his own hand long enough to masturbate.

In conclusion, like Musketeers and matching lotto tickets, having three testicles is simply better than having only one. I will save my refutations for the next round, so the ball's in your court now, imabench (cheesy pun very much intended).




Debate Round No. 2
imabench

Pro

1) Better to have too many than too few

Surgery Wise you have a point in that one can be easily removed, but what if you only have one large one and two smaller ones? Now you have to choose between being slightly heavier on one side than another or go small just to keep them even, which would put the person in charge in a difficult position.

You claim that the only way for people with one ball to fix the problem surgically is too wait for a testicular transplant, not true at all!
" if having an empty scrotum on one side bothers you, you can ask the urologist about having an artificial implant to give the appearance and feel of a normal testicle. These are either silicone, or a silicone bag filled with saline (similar to a breast implant)."

http://www.embarrassingproblems.com...
Close your eyes and skip to the very bottom on that source to avoid laughing at the images.....

Point is that if you have one ball, it can be fixed rather easily and cheaply compared to having three balls which has many other problems and the surgery is a lot more expensive.

The Con said that having three testicles is better than having one since you can just get one removed. That is true but you must also take into account the fact that having three testicles means you are at a higher risk for testicular cancer than just having 1....
http://www.steadyhealth.com...

2) Sperm count
- 1 - Higher chance of sex
The Con says that women and men from all around the world will fly to your front door to have sex with you since you have three testicles. The Con has not taken into effect how high gas prices are ($4 and climbing) which clearly shows how women and men will not fly around the world to meet you

- 2 - Higher chance of pregnancy
I extend my argument about how having three balls is worse than having one since having three means you are more at risk for catching the STD called "children". After all it is well known that unprotected sx can lead to both the male and the female becoming infected with "children"

- 3 - Higher chance of wet dreams
Because everybody likes waking up in the morning with a pool of semen in their underwear......

I await the Con's refutations of my arguments.
DakotaKrafick

Con

I'm not sure if there's a direct correlation between number of testicles and number of brain cells, but my opponent seems to think so, because most of his arguments seem to revolve around our hypothetical men getting into situations they feel would better prepare themselves for casting in the next Jackass movie.

Refuting Arguments

1. More space in your underwear

Clearly, many people would see this as a benefit for three-testid men. Like a peacock gallantly showcasing its feathers to potential mates, women will are much more likely to take notice and become infatuated with the male if his junk appears larger than it really is. This is much akin to women purposely wearing bras that are too small to increase the aesthetics of their endowments.

But if my opponent finds the benefit of being asked to take at least three women home with him every time he struts his stuff in public, then I suggest he just change out of his briefs and get some boxers.

2. Easier to ride a horse

This argument is very similar to "Without some kind of iron plating to protect your ding-dong, repeatedly tapping it with a hammer can cause severe pain. But that pain will be lessened or perhaps nonexistent with only one testicle". Maybe instead of experimenting with how lenient natural selection is with its test subjects, you should stop treating your testicles like punching bags.

In other words, wear a saddle.

3. Smaller target

Again, stop putting yourself in situations that can only be described by an unbiased passer-by as "What the hell was he thinking?" Don't tell a girl about which porn star she reminds you of or how you would rearrange the alphabet if given the chance and you'll be fine.

4. It's easier to explain to women

My opponent says once you start getting jiggy with the jig-a-ling, it'll be easier to explain why you only have one testicle than three, and this is probably true since having only one testicle is more common. But good luck explaining to her about how you once had testicular cancer and needed a major surgery to remove it before it swelled to the size of a balloon, or how it got shot off behind enemy lines in Vietnam while still keeping her (and yourself) sexually interested.

5. Support groups

My opponent claims that the number of search results found on Google when you type in "Support groups for men with X number of balls" shares a perfectly direct relationship with the number of support groups actually exist for that demographic. Well, below is a Google search for "support group for men with two heads" and it got over 200 million search results, far more than either of my opponent's. Does that mean there are actually 200 million support groups for men with two heads? Probably not...

http://www.google.com...;

(If the link doesn't work, just try it for yourself on Google)

Refuting Refutations

1. Better to have too many than too few

Surgery Wise you have a point in that one can be easily removed, but what if you only have one large one and two smaller ones?

According to the logic of all of your previous arguments, it would be better to keep the two smaller ones. My opponent concedes surgery to remove a testicle is easier than surgery to gain a testicle.

He goes on to say that you can have a fake testicle surgercially added, but it won't produce sperm or feel like a real testicle at all. C'mon fellas, we all know the real deal is better than silicon. We want to be able to play with real boobage, so why should we expect the women to feel any different about our testis?

2. Sperm Count
a. More Sex

My opponent says the high gas prices will stop people from trying to experience the greatest sex of their lives, but clearly my opponent underestimates the power of lust. With three testis at your disposal, your orgasms will make the Big Bang envy you, and people will sell their own bone marrow on the black market to experience your magic if they have to.

b. More fertility

Pro is now suddenly against reproduction, even though he was talking about that in his "It's easier to explain to women" argument. Even ignoring the contradiction, though, if you don't want kids, then wear a rubber. But if you DO want kids, then having three testicles is clearly better.

Also, with higher fertility, you can sell your sperm for much more at a sperm bank.

c. Wet dreams

To this point, my opponent says "Because everyone likes [orgasming]". Sounds more like an agreement than a refutation, so I'll leave it at that.


Debate Round No. 3
imabench

Pro

1) More space in your underwear.

The Con ignores this issue and instead focuses on how if you whip out your abnormal testicles in public that women would come running. Only problem with that though is that whipping out any part of your junk to try to get women is completely illegal (unless your Brett Favre)

Point is, you cant take women out if society says you cant whip it out.

2) Easier to ride a horse

The Con says you can avoid this by buying a saddle....... fair enough, but what about other siuations where men have to ride things?
Bikes do a number on your nuts
Pogo sticks could be bad
Skateboard accidents can threaten your junk
Riding motorcycles can do a number on your below-the-belt buddies

There are many things you can ride that do a number on your testicles, in any case having one can be better than having three for the cause of less pain.

3) Smaller target for angry women
"Don't tell a girl about which porn star she reminds you of"

THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY I HAVE A RIGHT TO WALK UP TO ANY GIRL ON THE STREET AND ELABORATE ON WHICH PORN STAR THEY REMIND ME OF AND WHICH SEX POSITION I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH THEM PERFORM. Nonetheless, Con cannot deny that 1 testicle is a smaller target to hit then having three.

4) Its easier to explain to women
"My opponent says once you start getting jiggy with the jig-a-ling, it'll be easier to explain why you only have one testicle than three, and this is probably true"

BAM, concession.

5) Support groups
" "support group for men with two heads" and it got over 200 million search results"

MEN WITH TWO HEADS IS A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM, JUST ASK THIS GUY
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============================================================================

1) Corrective surgery
"C'mon fellas, we all know the real deal is better than silicon. We want to be able to play with real boobage, so why should we expect the women to feel any different about our testis?"

Silicon Boobs arent meant for touching and playing with, theyre made for LOOKING, LIKE BALLS.

2) More Sex
"My opponent says the high gas prices will stop people from trying to experience the greatest sex of their lives, but clearly my opponent underestimates the power of lust"

Maybe you havent seen gas prices lately
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I dont think lust outweighs gas prices.....

B) Fertility
One testicle is better than three because its easier to explain to women to GET LAID, NOT REPRODUCE. Having thee testicles is not better for sperm count and heres why......

Imagine if ince in a while a sperm comes along, but its a really really really evil sperm. Lets call it a "Kony" Sperm, imagine now that you have three testicles how many more "Kony" sperm will be produced.

Three testicles = more evil sperm
One Testicle = less evil sperm

C) Wet Dreams
More testicles do lead to mroe wet dreams, but consider how horny you will get about ANYTHING.

- You had a dream and you saw a Squirrel? BOOM EJACULATION
- You had a dream where you touched a warm rock? BOOM LIFTOFF
- You had a dream about an 80 year old Nun? RELEASE THE KRACKEN
- You had a dream about your own brother? NOW YOUR SWIMMING IN SPERM
- You had a dream about Lou Dobbs talking about illegal immigration to Larry King who for once decided to not wear suspenders but your distracted by the ticker at the bottom about how apparently Obama Bitch slapped Newt Gingrich and you want to watch that, and as your watching the TV in your dream you point the remote to change the channel but you drop the remote and you go to pick it up but then suddenly that crazy white girl from "The Grudge" is staring at you. BAM ERECTION AND FULL ON OOZING OF REPRODUCTIVE SLIME INTO YOUR UNDERPANTS TRIGGERING SUDDEN AWAKENING FROM THE DREAM YOU WERE HAVING WHERE YOU WAKE UP IN HORROR REALIZING YOUR THIRD TESTICLE JUST MADE YOU SUB CONSCIOUSLY MASTURBATE TO THE UGLY WHITE GIRL FROM THE GRUDGE

I thank the Con for a great debate, I thank any voters who actually read this, I hope you got a good laugh out of it :)
DakotaKrafick

Con

1. Less impressive-looking junk

Pro seems to think I said to take out your junk in crowded areas and do the helicopter with it or something. Needless to say, this is probably the most disturbing misunderstanding that imabench could have made.

What I said was that IF you insist on going out in public wearing tight underwear, then having three testicles would be better to showcase your endowments to the opposite sex (or the same sex). But IF you don't like how tight your tight underwear is, then wear something less tight.

2. Easier to ride ponies

Pro concedes it would be a good idea to just use a saddle, problem solved, but he goes on to paint other possible scenarios where having one testicle might prove advantageous, such as pogo-sticking and getting into skateboarding accidents. Firstly, getting hit in the nuts is going to hurt so much it'll numb your other senses, so it'll hardly matter if you had one, two, or three, as long as you've hit puberty.

Secondly, Christ-on-a-stick man, stop reenacting stunts from the Jackass movies and you'll be fine! Don't stick your junk in a blender, or try to do curl-ups with your erections, or test which one a hungry piranha would go after first: a regular hotdog or your natural hotdog. Just because your one-testid self is physically inadequate doesn't mean you have to be mentally inept, too.

3. Smaller target for porn-star doppelgangers

Of course you're free to exercise your all-American right to tell a girl all about the sex positions you want to see her in; just expect her to, in turn, exercise her right to kick you in the nuts for being a complete douchebag. Again, having one testicle is only better if you intentionally seek out hazardous situations to subject your family jewels to.

4. Easier to explain to women

BAM, read-one-sentence-then-claims-victory-without-bothering-to-even-address-anything-else-that-was-said-despite-the-fact-it-clearly-refuted-the-point-of-your-argument. If your potential sex partner wants to know why you only have one testicle, and you start to go on a long tangent about how your platoon was trapped behind enemy lines for three weeks, surviving off of decaying rat meat, when suddenly you got shot in the balls, blood everywhere, you crying and praying to God, your partner is either...

1. Not going to be turned on anymore.
or
2. Someone who you want to be as far away from as physically possible.

On the other hand, if you had three testicles and she asked why, you could just say "Because I'm a baller, that's why" and then sexy time will commence.

5. Support groups



I think it's fair to say my opponent's Google shenanigans have been thoroughly refuted (if nothing else because Willy Wonka > MIB2).

1. Better to have too many than too few

My opponent says silicon boobs aren't meant for touching, but only looking at. That's the problem. We want something to play with, not just stare at, otherwise your girlfriend might as well be just another model in that lingerie magazine you have under your mattress.

Besides, this argument was about how the surgery to remove a ball is easier than the surgery to add one, and my opponent conceded to this in round three.

2a. More sex

I don't underestimate gas prices; certainly, they are too high. But I don't underestimate sex, either. Sex has been revered, celebrated, and sought after more commonly and more vigorously than anything else in the history of living organisms.



Sorry, imabench, you can't have a piece because you prioritized saving a few bucks on gas over the greatest physical pleasure your existence is capable of.

2b. More fertility


My opponent makes a very convincing argument about evil Kony sperms. And by "convincing", I mean "what the hell". Imabench clearly fails to take into account the production of good sperm. So obviously...

Three testicles: more good sperm.
One testicle: less good sperm.

He seems to have dropped the point about IF you want kids, having three testis is better. And if you don't, then you should just wear a condom. Another point for me, boo-ya.

2c. Wet dreams

I don't know what the hell kind of porn imabench gets off to, but if his list of wet dreams is any indication, then I will adamantly stay away from his browser's search history. Normal people get horny to and have wet dreams about girls, not horror films or squirrels.

Conclusion

Having one testicle has been shown to be sometimes better if you intentionally seek out dangerous situations for your own balls' safety. However, I have shown that having three testicles is better for activities that testicles are actually used for: sex. So it all comes down to which is better, getting kicked in the nut(s) or having sex? I'm sure the audience will realize it's no contest.

Thanks, imabench, and the viewers! Hope you had a good laugh or two.


Debate Round No. 4
28 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by The_Serb 9 months ago
The_Serb
when I was tortured, by muslim soldiers in Bosnia, many years ago, I am now glad that I did not have three testicles for them to beat, crush and electrocute for hours on end. Two balls of pain was quite enough, thank you
Posted by shanegray 1 year ago
shanegray
obama has three testicals
Posted by thigner 1 year ago
thigner
Just one thing is clear that I'm blessed to have two testicles because it means I don't need to argue or do debate on this website that desperate subject.

That's conclusion here.
We are blessed to have two. not one or three
Posted by Microsuck 2 years ago
Microsuck
Thank you both for giving me a nice belly laugh this morning.
Posted by Zaradi 2 years ago
Zaradi
I just realized that giving realistic votes on joke debates are freaking hard xD
How I end up voting on this debate (since you guys don't explain how I evaluate your arguments xD) is by looking at each side's case at the end of the round and who's winning each point. From the way I see it, Con's winning both point 4 and 5 on the pro's case, and pro's winning the last point on the con's case. Two points to one. So I give args to con. Everything else is equal.

If I were to give a vote in the same seriousness that you guys debated, I would've voted how TUF voted.
Posted by imabench 2 years ago
imabench
Awesome
Posted by DakotaKrafick 2 years ago
DakotaKrafick
Consider this comment the internet equivalent to a manly fist-bump, my friend.
Posted by Zaradi 2 years ago
Zaradi
Oh god. I'm gonna need a bit to a) stop laughing so damn hard and b) figure out what the hell happened xD
Posted by imabench 2 years ago
imabench
i wish i could give you a manly handshake/hug right now, let as watch DDO feast on this magnificent debate we have just presented them!
Posted by DakotaKrafick 2 years ago
DakotaKrafick
Good show, old chap, good show.
5 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Vote Placed by Yep 2 years ago
Yep
imabenchDakotaKrafickTied
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Total points awarded:20 
Reasons for voting decision: No clear winner, However i do believe children are STD's also, how has no one given sources to pro? Way more sources on pro side sorry con it's a tie in my book. This debate was hilarious, but also based off of personnel preference, most judges are guys thinking of 3 vs 1 testicles and if they'd like it more. Either way tie in my book, Sources to pro.
Vote Placed by BlackVoid 2 years ago
BlackVoid
imabenchDakotaKrafickTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Lolz, epic debate. Imabench was pretty funny and I loved his gas price pics. But as far as winning goes, Pro's arguments were just extremely outlandish and unlikely, as Con pointed out. Con's points were a bit more realistic and down to Earth which makes them easy to vote on. E.g, wet dreams happen more often than being kicked in the balls. Also, nice cake pic from Con.
Vote Placed by Zaradi 2 years ago
Zaradi
imabenchDakotaKrafickTied
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Reasons for voting decision: RFD in comments
Vote Placed by TUF 2 years ago
TUF
imabenchDakotaKrafickTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Woo hoo what a fun debate! I can't decide on a winner, because you both were so damn funny. I give three points to both of you. Very funny, and the pictures added emphasis too. Lol @ Imabench's *sha-bang-bang* and DakotaKrafick's *tralala* references to a penis. MWAHAHAHAHA I love these debates for comic relief.
Vote Placed by vmpire321 2 years ago
vmpire321
imabenchDakotaKrafickTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Can't vote. But casting my vote for the hell of it.