The Instigator
Pro (for)
3 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
3 Points

Haiku Battle - Personal Insults

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Post Voting Period
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after 1 vote the winner is...
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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/25/2010 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 5,215 times Debate No: 13214
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (22)
Votes (1)




I thank my opponent and the audience in advance for allowing me to open this debate.

The topic of this debate is: "Haiku Battle - Personal Insults."

Essentially, my opponent and I will create traditional 5-7-5 haikus with the ultimate purpose of insulting each other. While my opponent and I may create some "offensive" material for the haikus, I would like the viewers and my adversary to understand that I do not mean for anything in this battle to be taken "personally." Instead, look at this simply as a way to have some fun with poetry and to become a little more light-hearted.

My opponent may not delete any profile summaries, photo albums, personal information, or the like once he or she accepts this debate. It is only fair. I will delete none of my information either; however, I must warn you that a lot of it is outdated. Some of my profile summaries are quite inaccurate, and I do in fact support drug legalization.

If someone without much personal information (or none at all) accepts this debate, well, I have the ability to delete all of my information.

Each person will be able to create five haikus per round. Note that five is the maximum, not the required amount.

I think I have covered the important aspects of this debate.

I would appreciate it if my opponent only accepts in his/her first round, and allows me to start the official battle.

If my opponent wants to start, he/she may do so in the first round, but he/she must forfeit the last round of this debate. Failure to apply to the aforementioned standards results in a loss.

Voters should not judge this battle too critically. I believe my opponent and I will respect each other, but will obviously try to "lovingly insult" one another.

Thus, I find it appropriate not to cast a Conduct vote, unless either one of us acts quite rudely or refuses to follow directions.

Additionally, there is no point in casting a Spelling / Grammar vote, unless either one of us types up battles that are difficult to read. I assume that neither of us will have trouble with this.

There is no point in casting a Sources vote either. The only reason why someone should vote for Sources is if one of us posts a video, gives a certain article reference, etc. However, I will notify the voters that I do not plan on using any outside information. My opponent may do so if he/she wishes, but I don't think we need to involve any outside information.

Therefore, the voters really should just cast a vote for the Convincing Arguments category. Simply vote for the person who gives an overall better performance.

I thank my opponent and the audience.


I accept.

There is no need for my opponent to delete his personal information off his profile; I shall not be referring to it. I will, however, do a little digging in his past debates; he is welcome to do as he wishes.

Looking forward to four rounds of metered fun :)

Debate Round No. 1


I thank my opponent for accepting.

He's in haiku hell,

Can't escape, not through the mind,

Which he endeavors. [1]

He stresses logic,

But fails at displaying it,

Wants right, but is wrong. [2]

He goes either way,

Just plays with words, not people,

Can't get the action. [3]

Much too arrogant,

Thinks he can win with cute twists,

Knows not of what comes. [4]

Insecure at heart,

Feels that reason and God match,

Needs false hope to live. [5]


[1] "The mind is its own place, and can make a heaven of hell; a hell of heaven..."

[2] "I believe that logic is sufficient, without resorting to abuse of the reasoner. And I believe that correct logic, regardless of the subject or the real-life verity of the conclusion, is a beautiful thing."

[3] "either side" ; "playing with words."

[4] "I enjoy twisting other people's words."

[5] "I believe in one God, as defined in the Bible by orthodox Christianity. I affirm the Nicene Creed."

Thank you.


I thank my opponent for this debate.

Preys on the weakest,

Hoping to boost his percent;

Takes cheap shots at noobs.

Admits his failure,

Publicly apologized;

He's bad at debate.

Paradoxed soul

Thnks he's both dead and alive;

His haiku is dead.

The undead poet

Has dead people for his friends;

Franklin would be shocked.

The dead man gravely

Admits his true worthlessness;

He's a sorry man.



3. At 9/30/2010 9:05:55 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
"You are Daryll Philbin, the Bodyguard, You are protective of the office workers, and will die saving them. You may protect one player per night. When that person is targeted to be killed, both you and the attacker will survive. You may not protect anyone else after this. You win when all anti-town parties have been eliminated."

4. "I enjoy Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and Benjamin Franklin. There are so many amazing historical people, it truly is hard to decide."

5. "I gravely apologize... I really am sorry."
Debate Round No. 2


studentathletechristian8 forfeited this round.


This round does not exist, as explained in the comments section. Voters, please do not consider this round when deciding.

Debate Round No. 3


I had one goal here,

To be part of the top ten,

Which I've accomplished.

I am man enough,

To admit my faults, weakness,

I have matured well.

A man quite confused,

He creates his haiku sh!t,

With laxative help.

Too constipated,

He's backed up, dry, and shaking,

Just seeing my flow.

His sh!t flows here, there,

From his brain, to this battle,

Shouldn't try, but quit.

I thank my opponent for his understanding nature.


The half-dead poet
Writes his putrescent haiku;
It should be buried.

Please note, if you would,
The grace of the words I use;
Ignorance blocks him.

The stench of bad verse
Rises from his putrid pen;
I loathe his haiku.

I wish I were free
From reading his rank haiku;
Pity me, and leave.
Debate Round No. 4


He cannot match my
Talent in flow and diction;
His words rest in peace.

He put up a fight,
But misery and failure
Were his broad results.

Verse carries no stench,
Nor does it rise from my keys,
He's deeply confused.

His bland metaphors
Bore me and force me to puke
On his words and schemes.

Ignore my insults,
And I have still won, you see,
From C's ghastly rhymes.

I thank my opponent for the debate.


The mocking voice cries
From a barren wilderness;
My foe is alone.

Alone and witless,
Hardly fit to write his verse;
His haiku shows it.

Bland and pointless, dull,
His lines lie lighter than dust
On my careless soul.

His clumsy haiku
Ruined his hope of winning;
I pity his loss.

Quickly I'll forget
His pointless insults and lies;
His haiku sooner.

SAC8, this has been fun. I thank you for this debate, and hope to match wits again soon!

Debate Round No. 5
22 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by studentathletechristian8 7 years ago
Nor did I. Just part of the battle. Good luck ;)
Posted by Chrysippus 7 years ago
I sure did. Didn't mean a word of it, btw.
Posted by studentathletechristian8 7 years ago
Thanks. It was fun; hope you enjoyed it.
Posted by Chrysippus 7 years ago
Putting this in my sig, so people will know it exists.
Posted by studentathletechristian8 7 years ago
Posted by Chrysippus 7 years ago
The conduct point, as ever, is entirely up to the whim of the voter.

I certainly understand the difficulty of limited time. Round forgone.
Posted by studentathletechristian8 7 years ago
I really didn't mean to forfeit.

I heavily apologize. I haven't had much time to dedicate to this site within the last week.

Would you be willing to sacrifice a round so that we can pick it back up in the Fourth Round?

You will win the Conduct point for the battle.
Posted by Chrysippus 7 years ago
Wow... I thought you were serious! I think you succeeded :)
Posted by studentathletechristian8 7 years ago
I wasn't planning on it, C. I was merely trying to startle you ;)
Posted by Chrysippus 7 years ago
I've not tried to "get away" with anything. I've posted five haiku that, in all good faith, counted 5 - 7 - 5 when I speak them. I am not trying to gain any unfair advantage, as when Cody pointed out that he does not pronounce "paradoxed" that way, I conceded the point. I do not concede the debate. Penalizing one error in four possible rounds of poetry with loss of the debate is cheap; and I doubt the voters will give it to you on that.

"Voters should not judge this battle too critically. I believe my opponent and I will respect each other, but will obviously try to "lovingly insult" one another."

I do respect you, sac8, but I will not concede the debate after the second round on a technicality.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by WrathofGod 7 years ago
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:-Vote Checkmark-1 point
Made more convincing arguments:Vote Checkmark--3 points
Used the most reliable sources:-Vote Checkmark-2 points
Total points awarded:33