The Instigator
brian_eggleston
Pro (for)
Winning
12 Points
The Contender
tvellalott
Con (against)
Losing
3 Points

Her Majesty the Queen is a worthy owner of all Britain's wild swans

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
brian_eggleston
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/10/2012 Category: Politics
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,354 times Debate No: 23532
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (7)
Votes (4)

 

brian_eggleston

Pro

No doubt most of you read Britain's leading revolutionary anti-capitalist newspaper, The Socialist Worker, from cover to cover every week, but for those few who do not (and if not, why not, may I ask?) please find reproduced hereunder a short article from this week's edition which is entitled ‘What have toffs done to Cambridge swan?'

"Concern is mounting for a swan that has been moved to a ‘secret location' — after attacking posh Cambridge University rowers.

The class warrior bird had been launching himself at many of the 2,000 poshos who regularly row on the river, capsizing some of their boats.

The toff rowers even nicknamed it 'Mr Asbo' and wrote to the queen to demand it be killed.

Officials say they didn't get their wish — but suspiciously its current whereabouts remain unknown."

By way of explanation for non-British readers, by the way, a ‘toff' is an upper class person and an ‘Asbo' is an anti-social behaviour court order issued to restrict the social activities of someone who makes a nuisance of themselves in public.

In addition, many foreigners may not be aware that all wild swans are considered the personal possessions of the reigning monarch – it has been that way since the 12th Century (2) - and that is why the snobbish students appealed to the Queen, rather than any government authority, to demand that the socialist swan be killed.

Thankfully, the Queen did not cave in to the toffs' demands and the bird has escaped the vengeance of the posh boaters – though it seems it has had to go into hiding for its own safety.

Quite rightly, in this case, Her Majesty put nine hundred years of tradition before the spiteful demands of a bunch of nautical Hooray Henrys and, by so doing, demonstrated that she is a worthy owner of all Britain's wild swans and should remain so – at least until the Glorious Revolution takes place, of course!

Thank you.

(1) http://www.socialistworker.co.uk...
(2) http://www.royal.gov.uk...
tvellalott

Con

OPENING
My opponent, (who appears to be some sort of boot licking, monarchist suckhole and thus should be ignored anyway) has stated that because the Queen has denied the request for the immediate execution of known terrorist, Mr. Asbo, she has somehow demonstrated that she is indeed worthy of continued ownership of this misrepresented minority group.

How wrong he is.

ARGUMENTS
Mr. Asbo is a terrorist!

I need not explain the definition of a terrorist. Anyone who uses fear tactics to get what they want is a terrorist and this psychotic swan is no exception. According to my opponents own sources, the swan would attack people who tried to make use of the public river for rowing, trying to drive them out of the area. This is clearly appealing and no leaniance should be granted!

It then follows that...

The queen is a terrorist sympathiser!
Since we can see that the terrorist was not only not apprehended, but was escorted by public servents to some secret location for his own protection, it's clear the queen supports the actions of the criminal.
I ask you, dear reader...
Should such a dispicable individual be granted any power over a potential army of terrorists? The answer is clearly no.


SOME MORE ARGUMENTS
Who the hell does the Queen think she is, anyway, the old whore?

This is not really any argument, but nevertheless...
Why should some rich, old, dittering, old, alcoholic be granted any kind of special treatment by a country she does next to nothing for? A country who she owes her fortune and health to? I assert that the PEOPLE OF ENGLAND should be granted collective ownership of the swans.

CONCLUSION
This brown-nosed attempt by my opponent to get into the Queens good graces is transparent and pathetic. I can personally reveal to you, the people of DDO, that Brian has an extreme fetish for wearing swan feathered underpants and this is clearly an attempt to procure said feathers through less than reputable means.

If you love freedom and hate terrorists, vote Con!
Debate Round No. 1
brian_eggleston

Pro

Many thanks to TVL for accepting this debate.

Unfortunately, I don't have the opportunity to reply to his arguments to the extent they deserve, but, in short, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom-fighter: and Mr Asbo was simply defending his territory from a bunch of over-privileged toffs.

By the way, I'm not a monarchist - who in their right mind would opt for an all-powerful, unelected head of state? However, Queen Elizabeth II is a benign old lady without a bad word to say about anybody and she cares about swans, so she's a good egg in my opinion - not so sure about her son and his horse-faced wife though.

By the way, doesn't everybody wear swan-feather underpants? Surely it's not just me.

Save Mr. Asbo, vote Pro.

Thank you.
tvellalott

Con

Well, well, Captain Priviledge decided to respond...

Let's get this over with...

CONCLUSION
My opponent has tried some ridiculous fallacy to try and paint this war criminal swan as some kind of hero. Well that's not going to fly here bucko. That swan is a menace and needs to be destroyed! It's very existence fulfills my burden of proof; that not only should the swans be returned to the people, but that the Queen and Mr. Asstomouth should both be publicly executed by way of hot oil poured down their throats!

I must apologize I can't elaborate any more but I'm writing this on my iPhone and it's very difficult.

Peace out.
Debate Round No. 2
7 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
tvellalott
You mean the second hand iPhone 3g my girlfriend gave me for Christmas? Yes, I'm such a toff. :P
Posted by brian_eggleston 5 years ago
brian_eggleston
TVL - you've got an i-Phone: you toff!
Posted by brian_eggleston 5 years ago
brian_eggleston
No, not at all TV, I've just haven't had the time to respond yet!
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
tvellalott
Hopefully you don't take offense to my argument Brian. It's supposed to be tongue in cheek.
Posted by Thaddeus 5 years ago
Thaddeus
Dan, the Queen does own all the swans. The debate is about whether she should.
Posted by tvellalott 5 years ago
tvellalott
I can dig it.
Posted by dan564891 5 years ago
dan564891
I'm sorry... just to clarify... you're arguing that the Queen owns the swans ?
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by ConservativePolitico 5 years ago
ConservativePolitico
brian_egglestontvellalottTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Opening argument for Pro took the debate. He showed how tradition and law trump the desires of the populace. Interesting debate...
Vote Placed by bossyburrito 5 years ago
bossyburrito
brian_egglestontvellalottTied
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Reasons for voting decision: The swan was a freedom fighter!
Vote Placed by Greyparrot 5 years ago
Greyparrot
brian_egglestontvellalottTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Swayed by the swan.
Vote Placed by Travniki 5 years ago
Travniki
brian_egglestontvellalottTied
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Total points awarded:33 
Reasons for voting decision: Excellent arguments on both sides, it come down to how to interpret Mr.Asbo. Both sides did a great job