I Will Lose This Debate
Debate Rounds (4)
THIS IS A TROLL DEBATE DESIGNED WITH A WIN-WIN SITUATION FOR ME....
In this debate, I will argue that I shall lose or tie in this debate (through votes, nothing else). Position Con will argue that I will somehow win this debate. Again, this is a troll debate, so if I win through votes, then I technically win the debate, but am wrong about the topic. If my opponent wins through votes, then I shall be right, and I get to feel good about myself (lol I know I'm weird), but my opponent technically wins. Anyone who can outsmart this type of crazy logic, I bow down to you (figuratively speaking):D
First round is acceptance, but I'm also giving my opponent the option of starting argumentation on the first round, because I really have no argument in mind right now, and I'm hoping my opponent will give me some ideas (see? I'm losing already, due to lack of preparation and invalid argumentation).
If anyone accepts, please try not to forfeit any rounds because I want to make this fun for both parties, but also funny to readers, and not just a whole bunch of forfeiting. Thanks!!!
Pro thinks that Pro will lose this debate. Now, usuallly, I don't debate with delusional opponents, but Pro is so arousing and enticing in personality and charm that I had no choice. In fact, how can someone with such a magnitude of attraction possibly lose anything akin to a debate, such as a debate, which I will refer to as a debate?
Pro has such a beautiful and striking aesthetic that even through all the rainbows and unicorns, I can see it. Wait, what? What rainbows and unicorns? What's going on? Perhaps I'll make that the first part of my debate.
Rainbows and Unicorns
The fact that interaction with Pro is creating instances of what most would consider rainbows and unicorns to the point of them becoming abundant entities should, through the sheer connotation of rainbows and unicorns, have you, the audience, understand the pure scalar quantity to which my opponent's charm resides.
You're seeing it too, right? Of course, you are. That is an axiom. A law of the universe. When God or quantum fluctuations or whatever you think made this universe made this universe, it was decreed the following: F=ma. E=m(c^2). Interaction with AngelofDeath will result in the random spawning of rainbows and unicorns due to sheer happiness from interacting with AngelofDeath.
Fortuity of Failure
When people like someone, they are inclined to be more fond of them , so invoking rainbows and unicorns comes to an extent that forces each Voter's hand to cause Pro to win! There is no Fortuity of Failure here! Let there be no doubt that Pro will, in fact, WIN this debate!
THE UNICORNS ARE ALSO A GOOD SOURCE OF POTASSIUM! HOW COULD YOU VOTE AGAINST SOMEONE WHO GIVES YOU A HAPPY SOURCE OF POTASSIUM!? YOU HYPOTHETICAL, RHETORICAL MONSTER! OH MAN, VOLDEMORT WAS THE SH*T!
Furthermore, there are certain perks to my opponent's condition.
The Media's Makings of Medical Madness!
A Beautiful Mind is on IMDB's Top 250 Films list. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Fight Club is in the Top 10. What do all these feature in common very heavily? Clinical insanity! People LOVE crazy in the media! And my opponent is CRAZY! DELUSIONAL! Pro, and I'm serious here, THINKS THAT THE PRO SIDE WILL LOSE! No, seriously! I know, I know, clearly a few screws loose. But just think of what that means! People will love Pro! How could Pro possibly lose!? This is so evidently an open-and-shut case that despite the brevity and concision of it, I will conclude my debate here, hastily and, strangely, wisely.
I would first like to thank my opponent for agreeing to debate me on this impossibility of a topic, and may the losing loser who can lose better lose (me). :D jk
My rebuttals to all Con's points? Welp, here I go....
I have a terrible personality, contrary to what Con may think. In fact, I cuss people out all the time and threaten to rip out their throats then stick it up their a$$ if they don't shut up.... that in itself is rude and NOT rainbow and unicorn material. (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DOCK OFF POINTS HERE FROM LACK OF PROPER CONDUCT.... hello? I just cussed and made violent threats....)
As to Con calling me beautiful? Thanks, but I am ugly as f*ck.... (I cussed again!!!!) which is one of the reasons why I ave been single since the day I was born; the other is because I have terrible personality. (not to mention my parents won't let me date anyway)
Another point that my opponent makes is that interaction with me will "result in the random spawning of rainbows and unicorns due to sheer happiness from interacting with" me. Lol yeah right, the only thing you'd spawn from interacting with me is blood, guts, and a taste for DEATH. Happiness? Only if you enjoy watching others getting ripped into shreds by a woodchopper.
I believe this means my opponent's sources are either invalid or made up, which, according to his next argument, means that he should automatically get points for his "failure" which makes him automatically lovable.
Unicorns also, I believe, do not have a good source of potassium, due to the fact that no one has ever eaten or even SEEN an ACTUAL UNICORN BEFORE... Except Voldemort and all the Hogwarts kids who took Hagrid's Wild Beasts class, all of whom are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. YES THEY ARE, J. K. ROWLING MADE THEM UP. YES, I DID JUST BURST YOUR HAPPY LITTLE BUBBLE. IT'S CUZ IM A B*TCH LIKE THAT.
Guess what? this isnt the media. this is SPARTAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol jk (do i get less points for straying off topic and improper grammar and spelling?) actually, this is 'murica where ppl hate evryone diffrnt and if ur cray-cray then u gonna hav haters. (#AsianGoingGhetto lol im weirddddddd)
ummmm.... if i giv invalid sources i can lose right? so here ya go....
me, a harvard grad with doctorate (im 14 btw)
yo mama, whos just really fat
jesus, even tho im half agnostic, half atheist
some random hobo off the street
I believe if i forfeit the nxt round, i could possibly get points docked for lak of propr conduct.... but since im sayin this now, if i dont forfeit, id be lying, which is nvr proper conduct.... ^_^ i know, MIND F*CKKKKK
Clearly, Pro's post is very unpleasant. I mean, look at it, with all that cursing and lack of conduct.
Which can only mean ONE THING.
WE'RE ALL DELUSIONAL TOO! We have no choice but to take the reasonable assumption that we're delusional enough to think that Pro would ever say such horrid things! It's impossible that Pro would claim such a sacrilegious behavior, and once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Being that we, too, are delusional, this makes us as delusional as my opponent, who, in the insanity afflicted, claims to be even capable of losing this debate! My opponent will obviously win, for now Pro has the backing of fellow delusional people!
We're all in a state of a dream at this point! I mean, it's so obvious. Look at this non sequitir: "...actually, this is 'murica where ppl hate evryone diffrnt and if ur cray-cray then u gonna hav haters." That makes no sense. When things make no sense, you're obviously dreaming. My opponent has such an enticing personality that you dream of my opponent constantly! It's hard to blame you. Good ol' Pro, making us delusional.
And to say that Voldemort and gang are all fictional!? Lying!? I told you. DELUSIONAL. So, we can only conclude that Pro will win this debate for Pro losing is also a delusional concept!
Furthermore, observe this. "Happiness? Only if you enjoy watching others getting ripped into shreds by a woodchopper." Ugh. How did Pro know!? Only someone capable of winning this debate would be skillful enough to know what I want and the way to my heart so easily. Clearly, Pro is going to win this debate.
All of CON's arguments are ad hominem. Therefore, you shouldn't listen to him. Listen to me and VOTE CON. I have not used any ad hominem based fallacies and backed up my arguments with death threats. Hence, I will lose due to bad conduct (Come on, DEATH THREATS? how much worse can you get?). Also, I lied according to my last round. Remember when i said i would forfeit this round? well i didnt, so that makes me a liar. and liars should be punished. so punish me by voting con. notice how im not capitalizing or using proper grammar anymore. here i will, insert a comma-splice, because, it is, fun to, be weird, like this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, lol
Plus Con gave an actual reliable source while I made up stuff off the top of my head. So he should recieve points for good conduct (he keeps complimenting me), good grammar (duh), better arguments (I haven't been making any arguments at alllllll), and better sources (he actually has legit solurces, unlike me).
TheShadowCupcake forfeited this round.
Due to the fact that my opponent forfeited the last round, I feel obligated to not post too many extra argumentations so that he may catch up.(I am semi-nice after all, under my death mask :D)
I would also encourage my opponent to post whatever new arguments he wants to in the last round cuz like, duh, I'm supposed to lose ;P lol (and I'm too lazy to come up with anything new that i could have used to support why I should lose, but that's irrelevant). So yeah....
Over to my opponent! Good luck and thanks for this opportunity to debate you! ^_^
My opponent concedes at being semi-nice, so I suppose I won't need to argue what happened in Round 4.
Round 3 has some precious gems. Pro can make sources from the top of the head. Improvising the TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE. In this sense, Pro is actually an intervening GOD! VOTE PRO or BE SMITED! Pro will most definitely win this debate, now! How can my sources be reliable at this point!?
Look at that grammar, too. You can totally make out what he's saying, can't you? Isn't it strange? That's because his charm is like a worm, working its way into your consciousness and making you know exactly what he means. That level of charm mustn't be unrewarded. Give that God a cookie!
Furthermore, liars ought not to be punished! In fact, they ought to be rewarded! This is the reasoning we've used for millennia! Why else would we make games like "Bible Study (BS)," "Mafia," and "A Game I Made Up, I'm Totally Lying About The Existence Of It Anyway Though?" Exactly! We want people to be rewarded! The Cheater High of lying is just so absolutely needed in all our lives that it's encouraged! Encourage Pro! Thank you for lying to us!
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