The Instigator
imachair
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
imabench
Pro (for)
Winning
8 Points

I am a chair and you are a bench

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
imabench
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/23/2012 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 3,693 times Debate No: 23117
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (42)
Votes (2)

 

imachair

Con

I am a narwhal and you are a God. You must argue according to topic, so you must argue:
'imachair is a chair and imabench is a bench'
other than that its on like donkey kong
imabench

Pro

I have no idea what the resolution is or why I even accepted this debate in the first place but dammit I am not going to take this from a lesser version of me and my own name!

Challenge accepted, state your case

Debate Round No. 1
imachair

Con

Okay my fellow niggah.
You must argue that you are a bench, and that I am a chair, while I argue that we are not, but rather I am a narwhal and you are God.
I will start with how you are god.
1. I am atheist, but will change, to take on you as my God, so you = God
2. Gods have been alive for longer than little narwhals like myself. You have been on DDO for longer than me so you = God
3. God is a guy. You are a guy.
4. You are not emma watson. God is not emma watson. you are god
5. Asians exist
6. No God has proven existance in history. You have none either. Untill i made you god
7. You are a virgin. God is a virgin. You are god.
8. I say you are god. I am not lying. You = God
9. 69
10. You can not be a bench as you can type
12. Eleven does not exist
imabench

Pro

I will respond to imachair's 11 points then use 11 of my own points to show that he is a chair and I am a bench

"1. I am atheist, but will change, to take on you as my God, so you = God"
I see where you are going with this, this would make me your God. Not anyone elses God, just yours. But that still counts, and my narcissism is now satisfied, so this point stands.

"2. Gods have been alive for longer than little narwhals like myself. You have been on DDO for longer than me so you = God"
Alright but I have been here for a blink of an eye in the history of DDO, if I am God, then that would make others who have been here a Great God, after that there comes Ultra God, and then Master God. In between those though there are a host of other specialized Gods which include Safari God, Level God, Lure God, Moon God, Friend God, Love God, Heavy God, Fast God, Compe God, Premier God, Repeat God, Timer God, Nest God, Net God, Dive God, Luxury God, Heal God, Quick God, Dusk God, Cherish God, and Then there is Park God.

For those of you who dont know whaty I just did I took every name for a pokeball and put the word "God" at the end of it, its all listed here
http://www.comicvine.com...

"3. God is a guy. You are a guy"
I wouldnt be so sure about the first one. Have you ever read the old Testament? God has lots of rules, always making men suffer, God was ruthless, and cannot be pleased. All of those are signs that God could very well be a woman.

"4. You are not emma watson. God is not emma watson. you are god"
God could be a chick, see #3

"5. Asians exist"
Are you talking about the Asians who make my Iphone or the Asians who answer my phone when I call customer support who cant speak English to save their f*cking life?

"6. No God has proven existance in history. You have none either. Until i made you god"
God has been proven to exist though. According to his profile hes a 39 year old guy who lives out in Texas but he hasnt been online in 3 years
http://www.debate.org...

Here he proves he is God by arguing that Evolution is indeed true
http://www.debate.org...

"7. You are a virgin. God is a virgin. You are god."
WHAT THE HELL MAN, Im trying to maintain my image to other people here on DDO once people find out im still a virgin theyre going to realize that I might have been lying about the fling I had with Emma Roberts!

"8. I say you are god. I am not lying. You = God"
I already showed you that God lives in Texas, you might not be lying you just may be misunderstood

"9. 69"
I agree

"10. You can not be a bench as you can type"
My last name is Bench, Im not the kind of Bench you sit on but I am a Bench technically, so the fact that I can type does not mean I cannot be a Bench.

"12. Eleven does not exist"
I agree

============================================================================

Now for my Questions to the Con

============================================================================

1) You are not a narwhal because your profile picture is of a Koala Bear.
http://www.debate.org...

2) If I am God then how come I got my a** kicked in debates 36 times?

3) If being a virgin makes me God then all of the Jonas Brothers could be seen as God because those ladies still haven't gotten laid yet.

4) I already explained that Im not God in another debate where I argued that the Quantum Cosmological Differentiation summarizes how the supposed conflict between early neolithic polytheist religious beliefs combined with the eventual evolution to a monotheistic one at a time preceding the scientific advances of the Morphological age of humanity could potentially cause confliction in the argument that there is a clear and single path to the conclusion that there is a resolution to the creator-endeavor paradox...... Duh

http://www.debate.org...

5) If you are a narwhal then you must know who narwhals descended from, so who did narwhals descend from?

6) Nobody has been able to defeat Barack Obama in a presidential Election before, Mitt Romney will not be able to either, does that make Barack Obama God?

7) God may be a virgin or he may not be a virgin, it doesnt say anything on his profile
http://www.debate.org...

If we want to find out though you can search the Bible but I wouldnt try to. That book is kind of old and has some crazy stuff in it, did you know that the Bible says that Gay Marriage is a sin? How f*cked up is that!

8) I read in a Snapple that Joseph Kony invented the first "No Child Left Behind" policy

9) You can be called a chair because your profile identifies your username as imachair, meaning that people can use slang or a nickname to identify you, that word may very well be "chair". I Doubt you are a chair I can sit in, but technically you are a chair.

10) The biggest thing that supports my case that I am a bench and that my opponent is a chair is listed in point #11

12) F*ck number 11
Debate Round No. 2
imachair

Con

Since I have 8000 characters, I will first rebut your rebuttals! REBUTTCEPTION (not to be confused with buttception, an extravagant porno). I cant be fvcked to copy paste all your arguments so here are the responses
1.I am glad you accept this point. Do you therefore accept you are God!!!
2. Well you can be the Virgin God. No problem
3.According to how sexist the bible, and therefore God, are, and all the evidence that supports being male. If you don't believe me, read the source below.
Source: BIBLE (this should count as a source when it comes to voting
4. God could not be a 'chick'. A chick is the offspring of a chicken, and you are not a chicken. You are however God.
5.I am talking about the little Asian boys you can buy on the Internet for personal pleasures. My favourite is some good, prime Taiwanese meat, if you know what I mean. It is more expensive but I think it is worth it.
6.That must be a false God (yes this surprises me too), as you are the only true God
7.SORRY! I meant to say that God bangs chicks all night every night and you do too. Therefore, you are God. If you disagree with this, then it will go back to initial argument and your rep will suffer.
8.If the you 'you said in you might not be lying you just may be misunderstood' refers to this false Texas bloke, you are wrong. He is mentally retarded and lying. I say he is retarded as he calls himself god despite the fact you are god.
Source for quote http://www.debate.org...
9. You agree with this. Therefore you agree you are god.
10. You say I am A bench. I will define the word for you incase you are a special child like myself. A bench during the day is a place for happy families to sit. At night it is a place for hobos who need some sleep, sex with crackwhores and to spew on.
12. See my argument 9. Same thing
=========fancy======Line=======thing=====you=========did
Now for my responses to your main arguments. Still cant be fvcked to copy paste
1. Your profile pic is Jack sparrow. Is that to say your not a bench? I like koalas, and their tasty, tasty meat.
2. You get your 'a**' kicked because an ant is easy to accidentally kick. That is what you were referring to, yes?
3. Those ladies were brought up in Mexico. Sh!t goes down in Mexico, if you know what I mean. In case you don't, they had their lady parts filled with cement so they cant help it
4.tits look nice
5.Narwhals descended from unicorns, before they were wiped out by the black leprocons in the Babushka war of 1996. Obviously.
6. You and obama...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ARE BROTHERS!!!! so you can both be God
7.You are God. You can change the bible, but choose not to just to troll me. You made the bilble that way to win this debate you could see in the future.
8. I read that on a condom packet. What? You dont know they have facts on them? I'm not surprised
9.My nickname is either PeeTitty (from my freinds) or Daddy (from... um... other people) not chair, and I am not a chair by name or anything else
10. No i disagree. Just google Julia Gillard to find out what I mean.
12. I will fvck #11 if you want me to. Who is she? It better not be a he...
======fancy=======sophisticanated====line=========
MORE ARGUEMENTS!!! Just a couple coz I can
1. I am a narwhal because I bacon at midnight. Comment if you get that someone, because most people wont.
2. Your pic is of Jack Sparrow. You must obviously be that deranged pirate, and not a bench
3. George Clooney
4.God can work miracles. I heard you once got a girl to kiss you O.o
5. I have a long, sharp stick coming out of my forehead
6. I have the appearance of a Narwhal
7.Check out Marijuana Bandaids on youtube (the old tv ad). It supports my arguement
8.6 is divisable by 3. COINCIDINCE? I think not. You are God
Spell check is a treck so screw that
imabench

Pro

His 11 points

1) "Do you therefore accept you are God!!!"

Nope, I told you he lives in Texas :)

2) "Well you can be the Virgin God. No problem"

QUIT WRECKING MY REPUTATION MAN!!!!! Fine there DDO now you know, Im a virgin..... Im not a Virgin God though because the title of "Virgin God" belongs to the biggest virgin in the world, and that would be Justin Bieber

3) "According to how sexist the bible, and therefore God, are, and all the evidence that supports being male."

Whoa whoa whoa, I said that God acts female and can be female, I never said that hes sexist. That is bad conduct Pro, NO.......... NO.......... You Dont Do That!......... Now go to your room

4) "God could not be a 'chick'. A chick is the offspring of a chicken"

Let me rephrase then, God could be a woman

5) "I am talking about the little Asian boys you can buy on the Internet for personal pleasures. My favourite is some good, prime Taiwanese meat, if you know what I mean"

Note to self, keep Imabench away from the Tiawanese meat I bought at PF Changs....

6) "That must be a false God, as you are the only true God"

I once again refer to my 36 losses as proof that I am not God, I am ranked 19th overall in total losses actually,
http://www.debate.org...

7) "SORRY! I meant to say that God bangs chicks all night every night and you do too"

HOW DARE YOU, I DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH BABY CHICKENS AT ALL. Sick mother f*cker......

8) "He is mentally retarded and lying"

Do you have any proof that he is mentally retarded? I for one am certain that God is a man of wisdom and kindness so You better have some proof showing otherwise....

9) "You agree with this. Therefore you agree you are god."

I agree with the 69 position only because that is the greatest freedom of speech you or a woman could ever get.....

10) "I will define the word for you incase you are a special child like myself"

HEY, WATCH WHAT YOU SAY. I AM NOT............. A CHILD............ Imabench ;D

"A bench during the day is a place for happy families to sit. At night it is a place for hobos who need some sleep, sex with crackwhores and to spew on."

Yeah thats my brother though not me..... I am a bench but I am not similar to every other bench out there....

========================================================================================================================================================

My 11 points

1) "Your profile pic is Jack sparrow. Is that to say your not a bench? I like koalas, and their tasty, tasty meat."

I am a human whose last name is Bench who is using this as my profile picture, unless youre last name happens to be Narwhal and you like eating Koala bears (unlikely) then this is a moot point

2) "You get your 'a**' kicked because an ant is easy to accidentally kick."

No I was referring to A-s-s, but with the language barrier I just abbreviate it like that since people usually get what it says. Wait a second how the f*ck is it easy to kick an ant???

3) "Those ladies were brought up in Mexico. Sh!t goes down in Mexico, if you know what I mean. In case you don't, they had their lady parts filled with cement so they cant help it"

I WISH that the Jonas Brothers had cement shoved up their vagina's but sadly Mexico is too poor to afford cement.

4) "tits look nice"

Well im not going to dispute that but this point shows how I am not God since the Quantum Cosmological Differentiation summarizes how the supposed conflict between early neolithic polytheist religious beliefs combined with the eventual evolution to a monotheistic one at a time preceding the scientific advances of the Morphological age of humanity...

5) "Narwhals descended from unicorns, before they were wiped out by the black leprocons in the Babushka war of 1996. Obviously."

You answered the question correctly..... F*ck

6) " You and Obama............. ARE BROTHERS!!!"

No we are not! I was born in Florida he was born in Kenya (allegedly)!!!!

7) "You are God. You can change the bible"

I am not God and I cannot change the Bible...... I tried to believe me but the Catholic Church refused to take that part about Gay Marriage being a sin out which is horse sh*t....

8) "I read that on a condom packet. What? You dont know they have facts on them? I'm not surprised"

I did know that, I like to make Condom balloons all the time and then give them to my little Brother to show Dad what he made, he always laughs his a** off even though my mom gets pissed ;D

9) "I am not a chair by name or anything else"

: Your name on DDO is imachair
: You are on DDO
: You are referred to as imachair
: Thus your name is chair

10) " I will fvck #11 if you want me to. Who is she? It better not be a he..."

Its a box of Tiawanese Chicken from P.F. Changs.....

========================================================================================================================================================

Con's extra arguments

1) "I am a narwhal because I bacon at midnight"

Pics or it didnt happen

2) "Your pic is of Jack Sparrow. You must obviously be that deranged pirate, and not a bench"

No, I only look up to a deranged pirate as a role model for when I troll noobs ;D

3) "George Clooney"

Pics or it didnt happen

4) "God can work miracles. I heard you once got a girl to kiss you O.o"

Getting a girl hammered isnt a "miracle" Its Florida it happens all the time....

5) "I have a long, sharp stick coming out of my forehead"

Pics or it didnt happen

6) "I have the appearance of a Narwhal"

Pics or it didnt happen

7) "Check out Marijuana Bandaids on youtube (the old tv ad). It supports my arguement"

ADVERTISING ON DDO IS FROWNED UPON

8) "6 is divisable by 3. COINCIDINCE? I think not. You are God"

Math never solves anything....

========================================================================================================================================================
Debate Round No. 3
imachair

Con

imachair forfeited this round.
imabench

Pro

Chair has dropped all arguments, thus my argument that he is a chair and that I am a bench is unrefuted while his arguments that he is a narwhal and I am God has been refuted.

I thank the Pro for this debate which is one of the best first debates I have ever witnessed and It was a pealsure to take part in it. I thank all of the voters for reading as well.

I now take my leave chair, but you will always remember this day as the day you almost defeated.....

Captain..... Jack.... Sparrow ;D

Vote Pro!
Debate Round No. 4
42 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by famer 5 years ago
famer
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by imabench 5 years ago
imabench
F*CK ME!!!

Nac
Posted by imaseat 5 years ago
imaseat
Guess what, I'm a seat!
Posted by imabench 5 years ago
imabench
http://www.debate.org...

Weekly troll debate is up :D
Posted by miketheman1200 5 years ago
miketheman1200
All of my lol
Posted by famer 5 years ago
famer
Lol, this debate has officially got 15 likes now ^.^
Posted by Multi_Pyrocytophage 5 years ago
Multi_Pyrocytophage
Lol I just failed.
Posted by 1dustpelt 5 years ago
1dustpelt
@Multi Really?!
Posted by Multi_Pyrocytophage 5 years ago
Multi_Pyrocytophage
Put it in your album and then you can copy paste it into the argument.
Posted by kyro90 5 years ago
kyro90
Fail. Nobody tell her. It will be funny.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by Jhate 5 years ago
Jhate
imachairimabenchTied
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
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Total points awarded:05 
Reasons for voting decision: forfeit haha imabench you are insane. Good arguments for a very pointless debate
Vote Placed by 1dustpelt 5 years ago
1dustpelt
imachairimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: trains