The Instigator
Pro (for)
0 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
0 Points

I should learn the Cup Song

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/28/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 915 times Debate No: 31803
Debate Rounds (3)
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This is the first debate between ScipioDumbass and myself, hopefully the first in a series of legendary debates. Anyway the first topic is whether I should learn the Cup Song or not.

Round 1: Acceptance
Round 2: Main Argument
Round 3: Rebuttal & Conclusion


I'd like to thank my opponent for challenging me to such a riveting topic. I wholeheartedly accept this offer and understand that my position is con. I approve the debate structure.

Thus I am voting that "SlappyBag" (the instigator and pro of this debate) should not learn the cup song.

Although the instigator has not made it clear what this said "cup song" is, I choose to define it as the combination of singing and tapping/banging of a rhythmic nature associated with the song "When I'm Gone." by Lulu and the Lampshade's. The "learning" consists of both the vocal and percussion elements (in coordination with each other). Although this lack of definition was a bit sloppy of my opponent, I urge all readers to not judge him on this. We are not here to argue semantics, rather to simply come to a conclusion.

I wish him the very best.
Debate Round No. 1


My opponent makes an interesting point. "p" appears to be a very valid conclusion to make from this situation, but if you take a closer look at my opponent's round 2 argument you will find that he has in fact hinted at "penis". You may call me a madman, but this implication is quite obvious if you read between the line(s).

Yet I am not quite sure what my opponent attempts to achieve with this line of arguement. Is it perchance an ad hominem? An attempt to slant me in order to win this futile arguement!? If anything this simply solidifies my own position while weakening my opponent's arguement.

But what does my opponent truly mean by "p" (which I have shown truly be the word "penis" in disguise). Does he mean to intimidate me with the size of his schlong, or perchance he is implying that I have no penis. Does he think that if his penis learnt the cup song, then we could come to agreement!? Or is he trying to evade this arguement and change the topic of this debate to the "penis song"!?!?!
Since I am not my opponent, and can not read his mind, I must simply asssume that he means all of the above. So I must follow with my rebuttal to all of these points:

1.) The size of his penis intimidates me.
I just got my ruler out and I can tell you that anything 5cm long does not intimidate me.

2.)I have no penis
Proof by contradiction: Assume I have no penis. If I had no penis then I would not be able to go to the toilet, unless I were a woman. While I am not an expert on femininity, I can safely conclude that even if I did not have a penis, my facial hair, broad shoulders, excessive hair growth, lack of female breasts, non-wide hips and the presence of a ball sack indicate that I am indeed a man and not a woman. So if I had no penis I would not be able to go to the toilet, so my bladder would have burst by now. This is clearly not the case since I am currently having a riveting arguement with myse..uh... my opponent, and not dying. Therefore I must have a penis. QED

3.)If his penis learnt the cup song everything would be alright
Not only would this be highly disturbing but also very impressive, so if you could actually show me this then I must concede defeat. Up until this time though I perceive this argument as invalid. (also proof of Sacha Baron Cohen's penis in Bruno is an exception and we will consider this case an "outlier").

4.)Changing the topic to "I should learn the penis song" instead of "I should learn the cup song"
This is not only a direct violation of code 47 of, but a complete outrage! I shall not stand up for this blasphemy! Changing the topic mid debate!?!? What does this joker think he is doing. Clearly his argument is now utterly flawed.
Also I would be willing to have another debate on the penis song, seeing as it is actually a fairly good song (by Macklemore) but that is beside the point, since this is not another debate.

Upon realising that I have violated the debate rules posted by OP, I must excuse myself. I was caught up in the moment of this rivetting argument and could not help but rebut my opponent's case here and now. I deeply apologise, however seeing the amount of violations my opponent has encountered, to the almighty being itself, I believe this should be no problem in helping you to your conclusion.

NOW for my case.

1.)Many people know the cup song. If you are one of those many people does that not make you a sheep in today's society. In this modern world we need independent thinkers, not sheep. Per chance there will be a false shepherd one day who will lead us all astray, and if we are all little lambs then what can we do but forsake ourselves!?!

2.)I believe my opponent has great social influence over others, so if he learns the song, his thousands of followers will follow him and lead us all to the situation in case 1. "the Domino effect"

3.)There are so many amazing things that we can do in this day and age! Why would you waste your time learning a song which thousands of others before you have already done!? Rather you should spend the time learning a language, meeting up with friends, enjoying the beauties of mother nature and living the life!?! What will this lengthy process of learning the cup song bring you but a momentary satisfaction, followed by deep depression at the life that you are wasting!?!?

I wish my opponent lots of luck in his rebuttals!
Debate Round No. 2


Good point. I will give you that one.
Debate Round No. 3
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