I would make a better emperor of earth than you
Debate Rounds (4)
Regardless, I will begin with the personality traits I possess that you don't. I come from a more pure breed than you , making you a mut compared to me. Also on the topics of me being genetically superior to Con, I do not possess a certain disgusting genetic trait that the opposition has, a widows peak. This makes him barely a human being, and in fact my friends, not genetically fit for emperor of earth. Do we really want a person with a pointy hair-line, and impure heritage ruling our lands. Your ancestors should be ashamed of you...
On a final note for this argument, my friend on the opposition also finds issues when it comes to moral integrity. He is, IN FACT, a loose woman. I can even quote him as saying, "I am a loose woman." We need a man of a higher moral standard to rule earth. Vote Matt, or else...
On the topic of my heritage, it matters little in terms of ability to rule the Earth. In fact, if it does at all, I would be in a position of advantage, as I have more varied genes, allowing me to connect with a wider group of people because we share the same blood.
Also, I hold more desirable political views that most Americans agree with. "Why Americans? We're talking about the world.", you say? Well, America is the only part that matters, and will be one of the only parts left once my reign is over. Anyway, I support gay marijuana marriage, gun control, no gun control, free Nutella for all, and free access to Joan Rivers' hot steamy late-menopausal vaginal cavity! Also, as Emperor of Everything, widows peaks would be required by law by punishment of violent penetration followed by death. This would force my opponent to either admit the existence of his widow's peak, or perish at the hands of Edward, our well-endowed executioner. This would be funny for everyone, making me the better king.
As for political ideology, I am far superior. I describe myself as a laissez-faire authoritarian. I believe in the right of a global emperor to deflower EVERY bride before she is wed, that way she may be pure the rest of her life. Also, it is of utmost importance for myself to get a flying mansion, so my subjects know through this figurative language that I am above them, and am always watching. I do believe in economic laissez-faire, but businesses will have to pay me so I do not have their CEO's assassinated.
As for his domestic policy, I also have the upper hand, as I would be more in favor of taking out all the whites. Out of all the ethnic groups, they pose the largest threat to my empire, in terms of both economic and cultural stability. All of the world's greatest wars, famines, and revolutions have occured at the hand of white people. Taking them off the planet would assure a peaceful and easy-to-rule Earth, without the ugly whites infesting its most beautifl landscapes. My opponent, a cracker himself, would be first on the list of caucasians sent via poorly-built rocket ship to the edge of the atmosphere, where they would then be pushed out by mutant dog-henchemen into a great fall to the ground. Their burning corpses falling from the stratosphere would make for a lovely light show for all my colored subjects, and we would watch on, laughing, drinking, and having wild, unprotected intercourse. In this instance, Edward would be made "Chief Minister to the Sex", and would oversee said orgies.
MattHarrison forfeited this round.
PatJC123 forfeited this round.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by bladerunner060 2 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: This debate was quite troll-y, and I could not see any kind of clear winner. I'm nulling this vote.
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