The Instigator
MattHarrison
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
PatJC123
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

I would make a better emperor of earth than you

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 7/29/2014 Category: Politics
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 514 times Debate No: 59731
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (4)
Votes (1)

 

MattHarrison

Pro

I would be, the title is right.
PatJC123

Con

And then I said to him "You filthy peasant. Get away from my horse, you mongrel. You'll get his hooves dirty!" Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. You want to debate my regality? Let the games begin...
Debate Round No. 1
MattHarrison

Pro

Well first of all you don't own a horse you stole mine, you ruined his hooves.
Regardless, I will begin with the personality traits I possess that you don't. I come from a more pure breed than you , making you a mut compared to me. Also on the topics of me being genetically superior to Con, I do not possess a certain disgusting genetic trait that the opposition has, a widows peak. This makes him barely a human being, and in fact my friends, not genetically fit for emperor of earth. Do we really want a person with a pointy hair-line, and impure heritage ruling our lands. Your ancestors should be ashamed of you...
On a final note for this argument, my friend on the opposition also finds issues when it comes to moral integrity. He is, IN FACT, a loose woman. I can even quote him as saying, "I am a loose woman." We need a man of a higher moral standard to rule earth. Vote Matt, or else...
PatJC123

Con

Before I begin, I would like to make it very clear that MattHarrison also has a widows peak. He is insecure with himself, so much so that he chooses to attack others to make himself feel above them, and so he thinks he's not like the majority of human beings.
On the topic of my heritage, it matters little in terms of ability to rule the Earth. In fact, if it does at all, I would be in a position of advantage, as I have more varied genes, allowing me to connect with a wider group of people because we share the same blood.
Also, I hold more desirable political views that most Americans agree with. "Why Americans? We're talking about the world.", you say? Well, America is the only part that matters, and will be one of the only parts left once my reign is over. Anyway, I support gay marijuana marriage, gun control, no gun control, free Nutella for all, and free access to Joan Rivers' hot steamy late-menopausal vaginal cavity! Also, as Emperor of Everything, widows peaks would be required by law by punishment of violent penetration followed by death. This would force my opponent to either admit the existence of his widow's peak, or perish at the hands of Edward, our well-endowed executioner. This would be funny for everyone, making me the better king.
Debate Round No. 2
MattHarrison

Pro

Lies! You have no proof that I have a widow's peak, you slandering piece of dry white meat. You also claim that Edward is well endowed, when Edward is ACTUALLY played by Robert Pattinson. In fact, the average genitalia size of a male from the UK, such as R-Pattz, is approximately 5.1 inches. This is not very well-endowed, as my opponent would lead you to believe. My final rebuttal to my unattractive opponent, would be why just Joan River's old muff? Why not also Bette White's and Madonna's? The public has an unadulterated right to post-menopausal pink tacos.
As for political ideology, I am far superior. I describe myself as a laissez-faire authoritarian. I believe in the right of a global emperor to deflower EVERY bride before she is wed, that way she may be pure the rest of her life. Also, it is of utmost importance for myself to get a flying mansion, so my subjects know through this figurative language that I am above them, and am always watching. I do believe in economic laissez-faire, but businesses will have to pay me so I do not have their CEO's assassinated.
Boom-Shakalaka
PatJC123

Con

My opponent's political platform is one which is not suitable for a world emperor. For instance, he clearly cannot distinguish between different people with the same first name. The executioner, Edward, who is not an actor who is portrayed by actor Robert Pattinson, is not who Harrison thinks he is. In actuality, Edward's disco stick is of a length and girth unmeasureable by regular human means. His tallywhacker of justice is one which would make the "torture" process one which is very... interesting.
As for his domestic policy, I also have the upper hand, as I would be more in favor of taking out all the whites. Out of all the ethnic groups, they pose the largest threat to my empire, in terms of both economic and cultural stability. All of the world's greatest wars, famines, and revolutions have occured at the hand of white people. Taking them off the planet would assure a peaceful and easy-to-rule Earth, without the ugly whites infesting its most beautifl landscapes. My opponent, a cracker himself, would be first on the list of caucasians sent via poorly-built rocket ship to the edge of the atmosphere, where they would then be pushed out by mutant dog-henchemen into a great fall to the ground. Their burning corpses falling from the stratosphere would make for a lovely light show for all my colored subjects, and we would watch on, laughing, drinking, and having wild, unprotected intercourse. In this instance, Edward would be made "Chief Minister to the Sex", and would oversee said orgies.
Debate Round No. 3
MattHarrison

Pro

MattHarrison forfeited this round.
PatJC123

Con

PatJC123 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
4 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Posted by Aerogant 3 years ago
Aerogant
Either friends having fun, or a troll on the same account. Either way, they are entertaining.
Posted by PatJC123 3 years ago
PatJC123
I'm not
Posted by MattHarrison 3 years ago
MattHarrison
No
Posted by ben671176 3 years ago
ben671176
I feel like you are the same person.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by bladerunner060 3 years ago
bladerunner060
MattHarrisonPatJC123Tied
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Total points awarded:00 
Reasons for voting decision: This debate was quite troll-y, and I could not see any kind of clear winner. I'm nulling this vote.