In Retrospect Girls > Guys
Debate Rounds (4)
THIS IS A TROLL DEBATE.
I am not claiming nor do I believe this is empirical
This is for Sh*ts and giggles. This is a comparative debate where I shall take the feminine side and claim they are better and my contender shall don the cap of masculinity.
According to the Abrahamic religions, Adam and Eve were the first humans. Note that I said "Adam and Eve" and not "Eve and Adam". Also, Eve was just Adam's ribs. Now, it is obvious that God, a divine being, thinks that guys are better than girls. Why should we doubt a divine being? Along with that, consider the majestic penis and the "patriarchy". It shall be clear that men are the superior sex.
First, consider the majestic penis. Towering over six inches tall (well, one inch in my case, but I digress), it is a majestic construction of divine origin. It is constructed so that it will stay in a compact place when not used, and rise to its full glory when it is needed. Now, consider its counterpart, the vagina. The vagina's only purpose is to hold the penis, a mere sheath for the majestic sword of Excalibur. What does the vagina has that the penis does not? Nothing, as a vagina is, to use the most true definition, just a hole.
Then, the patriarchy. Since almost the beginning of time, men has ruled over women. We've seen this all over the world, regardless of culture or race. Is it a natural course, for men to be better than women? I'm not saying it... but I'm holding up a big neon sign saying it. Is this a misogynistic way of thinking? Yes, but I have to be misogynistic for the purposes of this debate. Again, consider the warriors, the leaders, the priests... all men. Women may say that they actually rule over us because they nag so much, but we only give them lip service in exchange for some other lip service.
The inherent superiority of the penis and men's better social standing obviously leads to the fact that boys rule and girls drool. It is merely biological fact, like young earth creationism or unicorns. Or young earth creationist unicorns. However, we cannot get rid of women; our sandwich supply would be greatly compromised. Thank you.
DISCLAIMER: I'm not actually misogynistic, I promise! I felt really horrible saying all this stuff. Bla bla bla, my actual opinion is that all genders are inherently equal.
Alright Lets do this
God is obviously a woman
So Adam being listed before even is irrelevant because the effing creator of everything is a chick. I mean think about it, what other reasons can there be for her slaughtering children and women alike, and then telling everyone she loves them. I mean it could be that she is Bipolar but that is a slim chance. The more realistic conclusion is that she is on her period. It also explains her fixation with the color of red. It would also explain how she has a son Jesus. Jesus is not a metaphorical alter ego of a male God, eff no. God inseminated herself and gave birth to Jesus literally, and then sent him to earth to be re conceived by another virgin to mimic the act. It makes perfect sense.
Penus vs Va j j
My wonderful opponent trys his hardest to say that the vagina is nothing but a sheathe for our tiny little dagger. That when aroused we can get hard and slay some shzz. This is possibly the case but think about it. What makes you horneh to begin with if you are a dude? A girl duh -.-. I mean there are some gay people but not enough to matter. Only like 5 percent of the worlds populations of dudes like riding poles. I mean there is nothing wroth with slapping each others swords up against each other until a bountiful mist flows forth, but for a majority of the word this is not the case. The va j j is not the sheathe for our sword but it is the weakness of it.
If our penor goes into a girl, for most guys whom have no experience it is only a matter of experience. Even for guys whom claim the title of champions and stallions, you only get a few hours. At some point her luscious fortune cookie will leave our majestic sword limp and null.
Man has Ruled over Women
LOLOLOLOL. WTF is my dude thinking. Go buy something without telling your wife or girlfriend. You will get an earful. You can't even give her a proper pimpslap anymore with these feminist running around. Behind every man of power, there is a woman controlling him. Why? Because man lust for the cookie, and the woman has it.
I mean how can you compare a good looking guy to a good looking girl.
Look at this, I mean who would you rather see hunched over the side of your car.
Just in general girls have better body parts. Guys have an awkward slant of skin hanging off of them that can get hard and hairy. Most are hairy because guys are two effin lazy to shave. Girls have lush tender boobss, and keep themselves nice and neat. They are just virtually more appealing all around.
Do I even need to get into this. Have you ever made a girl finish? Compare that to a guy. We let out a huff and a gruff and gg its over. A swig of sperm or a stream of wonder that lasts for about all of 2 seconds. Then we pass out. Girls tingle , tense up, and flip out. Some girls can have orgasms that last 13-15 minuets. They can even have multiple ones if you do your job right . This is virtually no comparison.
Girls have all power of guys. They use their body parts and mind games to utterly destroy us. We are powerless against them. They look, feel, and taste better. They own us in every way.
Let us also remember that Christianity is not the only religion in the world. Zeus and Jupiter were men. Two of the most influential civilizations, the Greeks and Romans, worshiped men! So, men are so awesome that men are worshiped as gods, regardless of cultural or geographic differences.
Also, my opponent says that the vagina (just say it!) is the penis's weakness. The penis is obviously not a weapon to be waved around aimlessly. It is a powerful, precise weapon. The long reload time is necessary to contain the power of the penis. My opponent has also ignored masturbation, which does not need a woman to occur.
My opponent also seems to misunderstand what I mean by men ruling over women. Until recent times, men were the leaders in the army, the government, and the clergy. And they still mostly are. A relevant xkcd, 898, talks about this . The alt-text is also relevant. However, the alt-text obviously says that the ruler of the world is whoever has enough money to buy ad time on Dora the Explorer. And who has the money? Men. The comic itself is also relevant, as it says that the man controlling the entire nuclear arsenal is actually the engineer who installed the red button. My opponent is saying that the women are like the engineer. There is not a single shred of evidence for this, however! Not a single shred! And again, who are the engineers? Mostly men.
And comparisons between gender attractiveness is irrelevant. For some reason, I am unable to see the pictures that she posted, probably due to technical difficulties. However, guys are as fawned over as girls are. I mean, look at Benedict Cumberbatch.  I'm a straight guy, but I can totally understand why I would hit that. My opponent is, ironically, not thinking of women at all! Women get attracted to guys too! That awkward slant of skin? That could be a turn-on for a woman! So, women are far from holding down the sexy market.
Thus, it is clear that men are the superior sex. Girls are obviously infected with gross cooties. Gross, anti-leadership cooties.
God is a Man
My adversary appeals to modern logic in a failure of an attempt to show that God is in fact a Man. He also appeals to Occam's razor. This at his heart wrong and a fallacy. The simplest theory is that God is a woman. Just because people think God is a man means nothing. No one has ever seen God personally. They can only assume he is a man. Are you claiming that God shat out a son? LOL
Failure of Logic. Guys can not have kids. God is a woman and she gave birth to Jesus. Occam's razor actual benefits my argument.
The Penis is a Weapon
I have no idea what argument my adversary is trying to bring up here. Saying that due to a massive reload time, after a nice wonder cumcannon speaks volumes of its power. This is a failure of a weapon, it does nothing but manage to get you sticky and then you have to wait anywhere from 10 minuets to an hour to use it again.
He completely ignores the fact that a vagina is the prime weakness of a penis. The second a penis goes into its sheath it starts to shrivel up and fail. It gets majestically hard and then after a brief while the vagina wins. The penis turns limp and lets out a tiny squirt in a cry of failure.
Men Ruling Over Women
My adversary claims there is no shred of evidence in where a women rules over a man. Has he never heard of the fuking amazon. This is where wonder woman came from herself (at least I think). It is entirely run by women alone and any men who enter there are subjected to abuse. 
My adversary is appealing t the past to make an argument for the present. Saying anderson silva is a better fighter than george st pierre is entirely different than saying anderson silva in his prime was a better than george st pierre. We are debating that Girls > Guys. This is a modern debate and one that addresses the present. Saying because men once rules over women, is a fallacy in this type of a debate. The fact is we cant even call a girl hot without getting a sexual harassment suit put on us now. 
My adversary brings up a point that women should also be taken into consideration, and that they are attracted to men as well. As if this is some type of lethal blow. I mean think about it. How many girls just end up saying "fuk guys" and start rubbing cookies with each other.
just look at this fact
"Among adults who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual, bisexuals comprise a slight majority (1.8% compared to 1.7% who identify as lesbian or gay); women are substantially more likely than men to identify as bisexual; estimates of those who report any lifetime same-sex sexual behavior and any same-sex sexual attraction are substantially higher than estimates of those who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. " 
WOMEN ARE ALMOST TWICE AS LIKELY IN SOME CASES TO BE BI SEXUAL. MEANING THEY CANT EVEN RESIT THE URGE TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN.
Women are not just attractive to men, but even to each other. Truth hurts.
I mean how can you even compare a boob to a penis. A penis is a large hump of skin that awkwardly hangs down out of nowhere. On top of that we have to ask a girl to put it in her mouth which most of them hate. I mean even guys hate it.
What happens if you kick a guy in the balls?
Check that youtube video at the top right but he falls over and crys in pain most of the time. Even that guy fell down and he was a boss. With every kick his balls jiggled around like loose marbles.
Now what happens if you kick a girl in the crotch? Nothing it stings a little and she gets back up and kicks your balls in. While it may hurt her a little, she does not posses nearly the weakness a guy does.
My adversary drops this point all together.
Girls can have multiple orgasms and even have orgasms that last up to 15 minuets. We have a brief buddle of white water drip out and its GG. Girls own us in this aspect and even my adversary has conceded this point.
I never said nor implied that God "shat out a son", as you say. I am claiming that God impregnated Mary with divine powers (or an old-fashioned turkey baster), and then SHE birthed Jesus. Besides that, what about other religions? Almost all major religions, present and past, either do not explicitly state the deity's gender, like Christianity, or say that the major god is a male, like Greek and Roman mythology. My opponent never addressed other religions. How intolerant of him/her.
By saying that the penis is a weapon, I mean that the penis is more majestic than the vagina. The phallic shape as a whole reflects proud heritage and genetics, standing tall against all adversaries.  Nothing that is shaped like a vagina compares to the military might of the penis.
The Amazons would be a good example of a matriarchal society, that is true. However, the Amazons are largely fictional and were never an influential civilization. Compare that to the Greeks, where we get much of today's knowledge about the Amazons. The Greeks still influence us today, with the foundation of math, science, philosophy, and other studies being formed in (extremely male-dominated) Greece. The Amazons' legacy? A superhero whose weakness is BDSM. Come on, they aren't even trying.
While my opponent says that the past is irrelevant, it is far from it. Again, my opponent has a disturbing habit of abandoning thousands of years of consensus in favor of some baseless rhetoric. The past must be seen, as it still echoes in our world today. Men still rule in more ways than one, because girls drool. The US Congress has 102 women out of 535 Congress members. That's less than a fifth of the US Congress made up of women. Face it, men ruled, and still rule, for thousands of years because men are better. Again, anti-leadership cooties.
My opponent is unable to look at the past, not even at her opening argument. She says, "there are some gay people but not enough to matter" in her opening argument, but then turns around and say that the fact that there are more bisexual females mean that girls are inherently sexier. I thought bisexuals were just a part of a group that are "not enough to matter". On page 6 of the full UCLA report that my opponent cited, there was also an interesting statistic: Gay men compose a larger ratio of the male LGBT population than gay women do for the female LGBT population. Thus, if she says that bisexuals are bisexual because they can't resist women, doesn't that also apply to male gays? Guys have a better ability to attract guys completely, while most of the time, the female body is just a distraction or a choice.
My opponent also never addresses the point of money and Dora advertisements. Who has the money rules the world, and who has the money? Men. How did men get more money that women? Because men are better, that's what. There's the gender pay gap, where men earn more money than women for the same work hours.  That shows that men are better at acquiring money, because we're better as a whole.
Thus, voter, it is clear that men are the superior sex. I encourage all to think about this long and hard. The truth will soon become clear, that GUYS are WHOO BEST! PARTY TIME. Thank you, and good day.
What other religions? I don't know if my adversary has heart but Christianity is the one true religion. All this Islam crap is false. He has obviously never been to a Sunday morning service. Christ is the one true God, praise him or burn in hell.
Now going back to God being a girl. My adversary claims that got boned marry to get her pregnant. This is still a failure of logic. Think about Jesus was around before marry was born. Even the bible has the God , the son , And the holy spirit. So Jesus would have had to have been around mary was born, so the question is how did he get there .
AGAIN he was birthed by his mother. I'm not sure what this holy spirit thing is, but it is totally irrelevant to the argument at hand. God is in fact a woman and that is the only sensible way to see him having a son. If both God and Jesus have been around forever, he could not simply create mary and then bone her and make her give birth to Jesus. That would be a fallacy since Jesus existed prior to this. God could not simply shat out a son, granted it is a possibility but this is not proven by an scripture. The most logical conclusion is to assume that God is a woman and she inseminated herself with the holy spirit, giving birth to Christ.
Men Have Power and Money
Let me direct quote my adversary here
"Who has the money rules the world, and who has the money? Men. How did men get more money that women?"
STOP RIGHT THERE
Dear holy fuk this is a total fail. While my adversary says that men have lots of money he is clearly forgetting Oprah. Oprah says
"She is a independent black woman and she dont need no man"
Just her networth alone is 2.9 billion dollars. She is actually getting close to warren buffet. Almost half his net worth. She also achieved this wealth in almost half the amount of time. Again saying women dont have money IS A JOKE.
Even if Men have money, guess who spends it? Fuking women. They do what they want. Some studies show that women buy 7 items to 1 compared to a men .
Women are smarter.
Sad but true. 25 percent fewer men graduate college than women 
The Penis is a Weapon
This logic blows my balls off. My adversary says that by weapon he means majestic. WTF is this? WTF x 1000 to the fith power is he talking about. A weapon by definition is mean to harm people 
Saying its majestic is a total failure of logic here. Like its so beautiful its going to hurt you.....yeah right. Its a giant stump with hair on top of it. That is effing majestic right?
Freak no, the vagina is much more pretty. Nice little slit , with a present inside after you open it. Reminds you of Christmas.
My adversary concedes this point. He says this i a good example theoretically but they do not actually exist. I think my adversary smoked a joint before he said this, because it is backed by no evidence at all. He has obviously never watched justice league,
Points my adversary has dropped
The Penis has a weakness and it is the vagina
Women on average are more attractive than men
Women have better orgasms
Boobs > Penis
More girls are attracted to other girls, than guys are to guys. This obviously means that even women cant resit each other.
Women have a higher tolerance for pain
Just from the multiple dropped points, and many failures my adversary has tried to throw out we can clearly see that most girls are a girls btch. They spend our money, control us with sex, and spit on our heart. They take a massive dump in our wallets and control us in every way. They own us and soon will own the world
Just ask Hillary Clinton, she probably will be your next president.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by YYW 2 years ago
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Reasons for voting decision: I just practically don't even know what to do with this debate. The arguments about God were really bizarre, but the arguments about "parts" are something that while I think PRO technically 'won' -he could never persuade me to agree with -especially given that (at least in the shaving issue), PRO really is making an assumption that principally applies to straight guys only. The men ruling over women argument was mostly a wash, because it was mostly beyond the scope of the resolution. Sources to to CON, however, because he included evidence which talked about men's collective relative economic and political power and influence -but arguments to PRO because he showed that despite that, women still "take a massive dump in our wallets and control us in every way," negating that impact. Says PRO: "They own us and soon will own the world."
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