The Instigator
blueconvertible
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Dan4reason
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

In a custody battle between adoptive and biological parents, adoptive parents should get custody?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/5/2013 Category: Society
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 889 times Debate No: 40042
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (3)
Votes (0)

 

blueconvertible

Pro

Take into considerations that the child has stayed with the adoptive parents for years. I believe that the adoptive parents should get custody since they've been their for the child in its needs. Where as the biological parents has only a bloodline connection to the child and that's all.
Dan4reason

Con

I will accept Pro's challenge. Notice that my opponent said that in a custody battle between adoptive and biological parents, adoptive parents should get custody, not that adoptive parents should have a greater priority in a custody battle. In my opinion, there are many cases where biological parents are more fit to raise a child than the adoptive parents. Well, I will be waiting for my opponent's arguments in the next round.
Debate Round No. 1
blueconvertible

Pro

But again take into consideration that the child has lived for year with the adoptive family and has grown with them and has learned to feel secure with them. He/she has learned ever since it has started to talk to associate certain relationshilps with the adoptive family (ex. brothers, sisters, mother, father, etc.) so what kind of psychological impact will the child have if all of a sudden we tell the child that the relationships that it has created is no longer his/her and instead it's this new set of family that he/she has to reassociate those relations to. Plus where was the biological family when the child was sick, going through the milestones of life, and learning the wrongs from the rights? I'll be waiting for the opponents reply.
Dan4reason

Con

In many cases, if the child has lived for years with their adoptive parent, then the adoptive parents should have priority, however, in some cases the biological parents can provide a better life for their children than the adoptive parents can. For example, if there are tensions in the adoptive home or the children are not adapting well to their new environment, then it is a great idea for them to move back in with their real parents if their parents have things figured out.
Debate Round No. 2
blueconvertible

Pro

But doesn't everyone, whether your in an adoptive family environment or in a biological family environment, have tensions in their everyday family life, does that mean that you'll walk away from that family and start living in someone else's house? No, I hope not because then that will mean that you'll have to switch houses everyday or every hour of the day. Instead we, as children, learn to adjust to the complications of the family and rework our lifestyle to suit the adjusted environment so that we as a family can be family again. Plus having the biological family reenter a child's life isn't healthy for the child anyway because having another family raise the child through the hard times and then once those stages of the child's life is over then the biological family decides to just step in and take over? It's not like building a house where one person starts the foundation and then another person comes in and does the electrical work because the builders aren't capable of doing the electrical work. Think about it.
Dan4reason

Con

But doesn't everyone, whether your in an adoptive family environment or in a biological family environment, have tensions in their everyday family life, does that mean that you'll walk away from that family and start living in someone else's house? No, I hope not because then that will mean that you'll have to switch houses everyday or every hour of the day. Instead we, as children, learn to adjust to the complications of the family and rework our lifestyle to suit the adjusted environment so that we as a family can be family again. Plus having the biological family reenter a child's life isn't healthy for the child anyway because having another family raise the child through the hard times and then once those stages of the child's life is over then the biological family decides to just step in and take over? It's not like building a house where one person starts the foundation and then another person comes in and does the electrical work because the builders aren't capable of doing the electrical work. Think about it.

My aunt adopted children from Russia, and she had quite a bit of trouble with them. In fact, the situation was so bad that she almost gave them up. Sometimes there can be real tensions in a household that can go way beyond normal tensions. If the children who are being adopted, went into adoption when they are older, then they are far more likely to have serious problems with the adopting parents. The household may not suit their situation very well. Sometimes the parents are not being good parents, but are not bad enough to lose the children.
Debate Round No. 3
blueconvertible

Pro

"Sometimes the parents are not being good parents, but are not bad enough to lose the children." Here you are contradicting yourself since you are saying that the adoptive parents aren't bad enough to lose the child. But wait the reason that the child is having issues adopting to the adoptive family when they are adopted at an older age is because they aren't used to living in a society therefore the child should be taught with patience on how to live with the rules of society. Be aware that this process may take years or months depending on how the child's past was at the orphanage or with the previous families that it may have lived with. I'm sure with patience and trying to understand what is causing the child to react in the negative way that it does will help create a family that is filled with love and care.
Dan4reason

Con

"Sometimes the parents are not being good parents, but are not bad enough to lose the children." Here you are contradicting yourself since you are saying that the adoptive parents aren't bad enough to lose the child.

The parents may not be bad enough to lose the children because of bad conduct, but they are bad enough so that if the original parents wanted the children back, and the original parents have straitened things out, then it would be a good idea to return the children to their parents. That is what I mean.

But wait the reason that the child is having issues adopting to the adoptive family when they are adopted at an older age is because they aren't used to living in a society therefore the child should be taught with patience on how to live with the rules of society. Be aware that this process may take years or months depending on how the child's past was at the orphanage or with the previous families that it may have lived with. I'm sure with patience and trying to understand what is causing the child to react in the negative way that it does will help create a family that is filled with love and care.

I wish these situations always worked that way. I really do. However, in real world situations, sometimes the children really don't want to live in the lifestyle that has been selected for them. In extreme cases, these children may have been bullied, and have been living an a gang environment in their orphanages. Many of these older children are prone to theft, inappropriate sexual activity, and minor physical violence. In more minor cases children may have more minor cases of these problems, and may just not like the environment that they are being raised. For example children who are used to living in Russian cities will not always adapt well to conservative, religious, rural parents in the United States.
Debate Round No. 4
blueconvertible

Pro

sometimes the children really don't want to live in the lifestyle that has been selected for them. In extreme cases, these children may have been bullied, and have been living an a gang environment in their orphanages. Many of these older children are prone to theft, inappropriate sexual activity, and minor physical violence. In more minor cases children may have more minor cases of these problems,

I don't think so I believe that it's the fear or the hauntedness of the past lifestyle that is haunting them and is not able to have them let go of their past. In the situations that you've stated these often result in going to prison and facing the lifestyle there and then coming back to that same horrible situations as before. Then the repeatition continues but if we try and provide the child with therapy and counseling by having them go through this process and having the parents show them that life isn't really about the past and that it's time to start over on a clean slate and create a new successful life. Then with the assurence and support the child will be able to get back to the reality that it's living in right now.
Let me try to relate what I'm sayig to something else like a PTSD veteran when it comes back home it's in denial of the reality that it has come back to
but with the patients and support of their family they are able to come back around for the better.
Dan4reason

Con

It difficult to say that in 100% of cases where the children have been living with adoptive parents for several years, that in a custody battle with the biological parents, the adoptive parents should always win. There are several kinds of problems that can happen in an adoptive situation. Sometimes the problem is with the adoptive parents. Maybe they are too strict, and not loving enough, have too radical a lifestyle, or just have an incompatible lifestyle from what the children are used to. Maybe for example the children were raised in the cities and are Muslim, but the parents are Rural Mormons. These problems have the potential to cause some serious damage.

Maybe the children have minor or major problems, and these problems are being aggravated by their new living situation. These problems can include minor physical violence, stealing, and sexual looseness. In these cases it may sometimes be best to get the children back to their biological parents who are from a similar background and may have a greater emotional connection. All I am saying is that I am sure we can find at least one case where the biological parents should win the case.

Take the example of the Muslim children with the Mormon family. Lets say these children were with their real parents until around 6 years old when their real parents fell on hard times and they were with their adoptive parents until 9. Now the real parents are doing well again and want their children back. The religious differences between the children and their adoptive parents is causing a lot of fighting and the adoptive parents don't really treat them like their children although they fulfill the basic duties of parents.

The conflict is not enough be a domestic endangerment situation but enough in my mind for the biological parents to have priority. Professional counseling can only go so far only works some of the time.

Well, that it is. I hope you have enjoyed this debate and hope to get some votes!
Debate Round No. 5
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by blueconvertible 3 years ago
blueconvertible
But again take into consideration that the child has lived for year with the adoptive family and has grown with them and has learned to feel secure with them. He/she has learned ever since it has started to talk to associate certain relationshilps with the adoptive family (ex. brothers, sisters, mother, father, etc.) so what kind of psychological impact will the child have if all of a sudden we tell the child that the relationships that it has created is no longer his/her and instead it's this new set of family that he/she has to reassociate those relations to. Plus where was the biological family when the child was sick, going through the milestones of life, and learning the wrongs from the rights? I'll be waiting for the opponents reply.
Posted by blueconvertible 3 years ago
blueconvertible
I'm taking about the first part of your statement: the fact that it'll be wrong for the biological parents to retrieve their child from the adoptive parents.
Posted by Disquisition 3 years ago
Disquisition
Are you arguing why it would be wrong for the biological parents to retrieve their children from the adoptive parents or do you want to talk about the legislative process of adoption, which usually require the biological parents to waive their parental rights when the child is born (in most states).

I'd rather debate about the reasons and implications of child custody, disregarding the legislation around adoption since it is usually mutually agreed upon by both parties.
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