In a relationship, your happiness is most important
Debate Rounds (5)
Second-fourth-rebuttal and counterclaims
Pro-agrees with the title,con disagrees
You are wrong and I will prove it.
Since you are a Christian, would Bible verses be okay?
All Pro says (for argument) is:
"Firstly, In any relationship, the other persons [sic] happiness is important, because their happiness relies on your happiness,and vice versa. So if you aren't happy, no one is happy. Your move(that is the center of my thought)"
Okay. So if I am married, my happiness depends on my wife's happiness?
I hope you've thought a little about that. Some arguments don't have to be refuted, they just have to be stated.
But, if you still don't get it, I'll refute anyway.
Relationships are centered around love. Love as in affection and caring for the other person, not as in sex. If you love that person, you should care about him/her and do what will make him/her happy or what will most benefit him/her. Why? Because what will make YOU happy won't always make the other happy, and what will benefit You won't always benefit him/her.
If a husband has an adulterous affair, will that make him happy?
Will it make the wife happy?
But why not? If the husband is happy the wife will also be happy, right? Nope. The wife wants the husband to be faithful to her. She doesn't want him to be extra "happy" if that "happiness" is at her expense.
Doing what will make YOU happy, regardless of the consequences, is stupid selfishness.
Doing what will make your wife/friend/neighbor happy, presuming it benefits them, is love, sacrificial love if it doesn't benefit you.
"If you aren't happy no one is?"
The world does not revolve around you or me, or him or her. If I make myself "unhappy" by paying what I owe to my creditor, he/she will probably be happy. That's just one example.
Pro, you need to learn that love is not just about making you feel better. It is about caring for others.
Yes, possibly, but as I pointed out that is not always the case. Anyway, if you really love someone you should do what will benefit him/her rather than what will benefit you with the rationalization that since you are happy the other person will be too.
Example: My X hates baseball. I love baseball (not really). I watch baseball because it makes me happy but at the same time I make X unhappy. If I care more about X's happiness than about mine I will switch off the baseball. If I don't, I'll keep watching. The latter is called SELFISHNESS, caring more about your own happiness than that of anyone else.
You say: Worry about your own happiness and the other person's happiness will take care of itself.
I say: Worry about the other person's happiness and your own happiness will take care of itself.
You see, love is all about caring for others. Without love (and, incidentally, God) life is meaningless, or at least depressing. In fact, if you really love someone, doing what they want rather than what you want will be really what you want to do, because you love them so much. Love is not about getting what you can. It is about giving what you can.
"If your ex cares about you being happy, it should make her happy. If not, she is not perfect for you?"
Really? That's the best you got? No wonder the divorce rate is at 50%! If my wife doesn't like everything I like (not that I'm married) then she's not "perfect" for me. If she doesn't like baseball, then, well, on to the next girl. No matter that she's got a charming personality, beauty, a great character, and likes just about everything else I'm interested in.
How about this? If you actually care about your wife (or ex, but saying ex implies the relationship is over) then how about you do what makes her happy instead of just doing what makes you happy and expecting her to agree with you?
Goodness. You're expecting the other person to do precisely what you're not prepared to do. Love is about giving and caring, not just about getting.
Why would you call me ma'am? Actually, I don't want to know.
Instead of worrying about keeping yourself happy so X will be happy, it is more logical to just worry about keeping X happy, and, since you love her so much, keeping X happy will keep you happy.
Again, thinking your own happiness is the most important thing is selfishness, which isn't great for relationships. I hope it is obvious who won this debate.
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