The Instigator
Wallstreetatheist
Pro (for)
Winning
19 Points
The Contender
cheesedingo1
Con (against)
Losing
11 Points

In human reproduction, vaginal birth is superior to anal birth.

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 7 votes the winner is...
Wallstreetatheist
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/20/2012 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 8,543 times Debate No: 23007
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (25)
Votes (7)

 

Wallstreetatheist

Pro

Resolution:
In human reproduction, vaginal birth is superior to anal birth.

Rounds:
1 - Acceptance
2 - Main argument
3 - Rebuttals and insults

Rules:
THERE ARE NO RULES
cheesedingo1

Con

Oh, Im SOOOO taking this one. Ok, my name is Cheeseding1, and I accept your challenge! First of all, I would request defenitions for terms on this.




ANAL BIRTH FOR THE WIN!
Debate Round No. 1
Wallstreetatheist

Pro

Vaginal birth will always be superior for these reasons:


1) Cleanliness
2) Vaginal elasticity
3) Infant Cognitive Development
4) Doctor Salary
5) Infant Future Paycheck Potential
6) Infant Love-Making Potential


That's all that I had time for :(

To the CON!
cheesedingo1

Con

Well, for this round I will do what my opponent does so we can have a somewhat close debate.

Anal birth is far superior because:

1) It hurts less (For all you guys, you have a big deuce once in a while. Now imagine that coming out the FRONT, except BIGGER, and SQUIRMING, and CRYING.For all you girls who haven't experienced it yet, its the same thing, except out your muffin)

2) It doesn't mess up the goodie box. (People go more for the front than the back)

3) Its new, unique, and a good way to start conversations. I mean, "I found a cute scarf at the Gap" is boring. How about "my baby came out my bum!" that sounds WAY cooler!

4) You get to freak out your kids in 20 years.

Mom: Honey, I need to tell you something.
Son: What mom?
Mom:...... You came out my bum.
Son: I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

5) Show's that women are badass (literally)


ANAL BIRTH FOR THE WIN!
Debate Round No. 2
Wallstreetatheist

Pro

I'll start out with refutation:

RC1: "[Anal Birth] hurts less"
Now any female reading this knows from her comprehensive rape history that a 2.7"-wide purple-headed yogurt-thrower is more painful when jammed into a turd cutter than in a Notorious B.I.G. Now Imagine that the 2.7" pain inducing sex experience is a birthing experience with an 8" baby. Which would be more painful, the elastic lips of joy or the constricting trench of hades? "The latter ladder later method." -Arthur Laffer.


Now let's examine the face of someone enjoying vaginal sex, then contrast it with the face of ANAL:
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This is the face of pleasure: VAGINAL.
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This is the face of pain: ANAL.
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RC2: "It doesn't mess up the goodie box."
For many MSM couples and even heterosexual and lesbian couples, the stench trench is the "goodie box." They put it in the dirty hole for fun, and once the birthing process permanently loosens the muscle tissue of the anoooose, their fun time will be a hole (pun) lot less fun.

RC3: "Its new, unique, and a good way to start conversations."
It is a new phenomenon, but that doesn't make it better. Another new phenomenon: AIDS. Is AIDS better than non-AIDS, just 'cause it was the hip new trend? No. Things are superior to other things for good reasons, not arbitrary temporal ones. The anal birthing process is not unique:

"The sweeping new birthing method across America is anal birth. A recent Pew Research poll found that 8% of American children are born from the patented anal-departation method. I personally think that this all too common trend is a massive hazard to the welfare of humanity due to its bizarre birth defects of children sufferng from multiple-*sshole disorder in which several anal cavities are gerrymandered throughout the body, resulting in displacement, and even face buttholes." -Dr. Percy Stinkton, author of The Dirty Birth

Also, no one wants to hear about your butthole, to be quite honest.

RC4: "You get to freak out your kids in 20 years."
What a terrible thing to have to break to your kids. It's just like the orphanage or mutant stories that kids dread.


RC5: "Show's that women are badass (literally)"
This Anal birthing method started in the lower San Franciscan gay communities and has spread throughout much of the world due to our interconnectivity by devices such as the internet where lolcats have persuaded young kids to try the practice when they come of age. Anyway, men, women, transvestites, goats, and Parsecians can all use this anal cavity breeding process to reproduce, so it's hardly a woman's issue.



MY CASE


Vaginal birth is definitely superior...

6) Vaginally birth substantially decreases the likelihood a person will give birth to an alien species through an evolutionary epigenenic fortification mechanism.

7) God wants you to put it in this hole, come in this hole, and come out of this hole, not the dirty one. He will turn you into stone if you disobey his comsic authoritarian regime's arbitrary moral demands!!! SEIG HEIL!!!!!

8) Vaginal birth allows you to attain the wizard's sleeve that so many young women desire and hope for when they are teens. If anal birth were truly superior, then why are 7.6% of women who use anal birth complaining about their tight vaginas?

9) The birth videos that you will eventually show people will look much more attractive when vaginal birth is used. Have you seen German shizer porn??? That is what every man, woman, and Korean child would be showing their friends, family, associates, internet acquaintances, librarians, masseuses, and classes, if anal birth took it to the next level in population utilization.

10) Your child would become a coprophilic (doodoo lvr <3) and look like this:







In conclusion, vaginal birth WILL ALWAYS BE SUPERIOR TO anal birth, because that is a dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty hole.


Thanks,
-WSA
cheesedingo1

Con

I start off by thanking my opponent for this interesting debate.

Now, onto my defense from his attacks.

RC1:Which would be more painful, the elastic lips of joy or the constricting trench of hades?

Well, honestly, this all matters on the woman. Some like the barn door, some like the back gate. To say that the entire population of women like vaginal over anal is a guess.

My opponent has absolutely no sources, except by some guy named Dr. Percy Stinkton, which i doubt is even real. I would like a site showing this, because i doubt there is a coincident that a guy with a last name "Stinkton" made an entire book about anal birth. Other than that, no sources, not even for his pictures. I will provide one: http://www.slate.com...
As this site says, "90%" of women recieve an orgasm from anal sex.

Now, for this site,
http://www.drphil.com...
this site from Dr. Phil says how 90% of women have trouble with getting an orgasm. That means that the people that recieve anal are the 10% that enjoy it, while the 90% of women with trouble are of the vaginal preference. This defeats my opponents pictures and argument on how vaginal is prefered. My opponent argued with his pictures that anal hurts, well, u gotta use lube.... maybe that's why it isn't working for you....

RC2: I was refering to the front as the "goodie box"....

RC3: AIDS is an STD, not a way to give birth. Want to know what else is new? iPhones. It's a "hip new trend" to have one. Just because it's new, doesn't make it bad. And I don't know about you, but people want to hear about my butthole.....

RC4: I think breaking it to them that they came out of your wispering eye and sucked your mom's breasts for the first 2 years of your life is damn traumatizing. All the sex talk that they tell you is dreadful and scary.

RC5: .....Men can't give birth to babies out of thier a$$. That is impossible. And i guess goats can be badass too.... And I looked up Parsecians, and It didn't come up with any results, so are you making stuff up now?

Now, onto my opponents case.

6) Aliens don't come out of your a$$. The closest thing it would come to would be a mutation of some sort, and it would only be an alien if you had sex with an alien..... are you just making stuff up as you go?

7) People have vaginal sex underage or while not in marraige, which go's against God, so that point is irrelivant.

8) IF they complain about it, then that's why they should just do anal, no? Isn't this helping my case? And only 7.6%?

9) I would be scared if anyone took video of themselves in birth. In health class, I watched a video where a baby was being born on camera. It was horrifying. Watching anyone on camera be born is scary and should not be witnessed, anal or vaginal.

10) Ok for this point, I ask all those who were brave enough to read this far but are kind of sensitive about really discriptive and disgusting topics to please leave.
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Ok, so if someone who comes out the a$$ love poo, the thing that comes out of your anal cavity, then wouldn't everyone, including myself, who was born from vaginal, have a fetish for the juices of a vagina? I'm sorry for stating this, but my opponent showed disgusting pictures that seemed rather needless. I must rebutle with what I have. And for women who were born vaginaly, and are not lesbian or never plan to be, how come they don't have the urge to have those juices? You see, voters, it matters not where you come out of, but what goodness comes out of you, to help humanity...... ha ha, I just kidding. I'm not going to get all philosophical on you all. But, my opponents point is now irrelivant.


In conclusion, my opponent has no real evidence or proof for any of his statistics and statements, while I do, and my opponent seems to be making things up with things like "alien babies" and "Parsecians" whatever they are. He is senselessly babbling.

VOTE FOR CON.
Debate Round No. 3
25 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Microsuck 5 years ago
Microsuck
R2: Con clearly won that round and certainly woke me up.

R3: Pro was funnier.

Out of those two, I think con was funnier of the two. Therefore, I give con the arguments; though to be fair to pro, I gave him some points in sources for that LOL photo.
Posted by Wallstreetatheist 5 years ago
Wallstreetatheist
Meow ;)
Posted by cheesedingo1 5 years ago
cheesedingo1
chill out, WSA.
Posted by Wallstreetatheist 5 years ago
Wallstreetatheist
ATTENTION: voters, this is a joke debate, not a serious debate.
Posted by imaseat 5 years ago
imaseat
@mike You know you can change your vote?
Posted by miketheman1200 5 years ago
miketheman1200
Someone should counter my vote, I accidentally voted for pro. -__-
sometimes I hate myself...
Posted by cheesedingo1 5 years ago
cheesedingo1
haha sorry, I was having a bad day yesterday, I was feeling very serious.
Posted by Wallstreetatheist 5 years ago
Wallstreetatheist
This was supposed to be a joke debate, but the last round you pretended like everything I said was serious... the fvck?
Posted by cheesedingo1 5 years ago
cheesedingo1
why?
Posted by THEBOMB 5 years ago
THEBOMB
I refuse to vote on this...
7 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Vote Placed by thejmanjman 5 years ago
thejmanjman
Wallstreetatheistcheesedingo1Tied
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Total points awarded:40 
Reasons for voting decision: Yeah, you lost me on the final round Con.
Vote Placed by RyozoTabikashi 5 years ago
RyozoTabikashi
Wallstreetatheistcheesedingo1Tied
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Total points awarded:50 
Reasons for voting decision: Comment:
Vote Placed by 16kadams 5 years ago
16kadams
Wallstreetatheistcheesedingo1Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro was funnier, the pictures where good...
Vote Placed by Microsuck 5 years ago
Microsuck
Wallstreetatheistcheesedingo1Tied
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Total points awarded:23 
Reasons for voting decision: I'm voting on humor alone. I'll analyze in the comments.
Vote Placed by 1dustpelt 5 years ago
1dustpelt
Wallstreetatheistcheesedingo1Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: counter mike, he said in the comments that he accidently voted wrong and to counter him
Vote Placed by miketheman1200 5 years ago
miketheman1200
Wallstreetatheistcheesedingo1Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: Im not really sure how to explain my reasoning on this one but, Con used sources, whether or not they are reliable doesnt matter because he had sources. Conduct doesnt exist in a troll debate. Con refuted all arguments and proceeded to make more convincing statements, mostly pertaining to juices.
Vote Placed by bossyburrito 5 years ago
bossyburrito
Wallstreetatheistcheesedingo1Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: Mr. Cheeseding1 (lol) was able to refute most of Pro's arguments, whilst adding his own.