The Instigator
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The Contender
Con (against)
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Inter-Gender Relationships before Marriage is Unhealthy

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/12/2015 Category: Society
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 503 times Debate No: 82473
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (4)
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Hello, everyone.
This is just a sort of trial debate for me as I am new to this site. I have set a maximum character count of 1000. Format is as follows:
1) Just one argument in Round 1 with rebuttals
2) Just two arguments in Round 2 with rebuttals
3) Rebuttals and wrap up points
1) Inter-gender relationships: aka boyfriend/girlfriend/coupling/dating/ courting. Basically any kind of interaction where both parties develop a romantic interest and attachment to one another
2) Marriage: formal declaration of husband and wife
3) Unhealthy: generally damaging to the people and the society
Argument: Relationships before marriage can permanently affect a person's future relationships. Relationships before marriage are mostly just based on lust. The people in it are not serious. When they eventually break up, they still remember what it was like. This creates a strain on the future relationship with the person who truly matters. This is not limited to the sexual and romantic acts.


Relationships whether they be for marriage or just a simple friend relationship all have lasting effects on people. Relationships teach us how to love, care, and treat people with respect. The idea that having a "dating" relationship before marriage is unhealthy i feel is incorrect for a few reasons. To say having a dating relationship before marriage is "unhealthy" you almost have to support the idea of "blind marriage" where you don't know the person until you get married, which to me would be absolutely unhealthy to marry someone you don't know. Another reason relationships before marriage are healthy is that they teach you how to treat a man or woman.

The problems i had with Pro was the generalizations of "facts". Most people go into relationships for companionship, one of the leading causes for depression is loneliness (1). I would contend that they are serious even if it doesn't last long and you can learn from your mistake.

Debate Round No. 1


Thank you for accepting.
REBUTTALS: 1)My opponent said relationships have lasting effects. EXACTLY. Which is why I don't think people should be romantically involved with each other when not yet lawfully husband and wife.
2)He also said I agree with blind marriage. I DO NOT AGREE WITH BLIND MARRIAGE. There are ways of getting to know someone like through discussions, workplace meetings etc which do not involve romantic attachments.
3) He said relationships teach you how to treat a man or woman. This I wholeheartedly disagree. You don't have to be dating someone to learn about human interactions.
4) He says people go into relationships because of loneliness. He then links up a page on suicides??Loneliness can be cured through friends, team sports etc. He makes it sound like people declare love for each other just to satisfy their own loneliness and they already know it won't last. Also, depression can still happen even if you have a bf/gf.

Unfortunately, no chars left.


If you're going to quote me please be accurate in wording and representation. I said "ALL" relationships have a lasting effect even if its just "discussions, workplace meetings etc" as you said. If "if lasting effects" are solely negative as you're implying than any relationship ,whether you're with someone or just friends, with the opposite sex is "unhealthy". I never said you agreed with "blind marriage" i said you "almost have to support", and you almost have to because you're never going to know someone in depth through "workplace meetings". Im pretty sure your whole rebuttal was misquotations and things out of context. Referring to your 3rd point DATING RELATIONSHIPS teach you how to treat your partner. You can't learn how to treat someone properly in a relationship if you don't experience it. The 4th point is another misrepresentation of what i said. I said people have relationships for companionship. People in pre-marital relationships do want it to last.
Debate Round No. 2


I wont touch too much on what has been said. I will leave the voters to decide who had the better arguments.

My opponent brings up the fact that ALL relationships have lasting effects and he mistakenly says that in that case, I should be against all kinds of relationships. This is not what I mean. Being in a parental, brother/sister, team relationships are perfectly fine. I am saying that it's ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS without getting married which is the issue.

My opponent also has this seemingly strong viewpoint that dating will help partners get to know each other deeper before marriage. This cannot be further from the truth. When you date, both parties are at their best. But when you are married, their true colours start to emerge. This is where the true love and commitment should be proven. If you know someone like 40%, just tie the knot already. Don't prolong the period of "getting to know" them. You will never 100% know someone. Love is built brick by brick.

Thank you.


At what point did is say " Pro should be against all relationships" never once did i say that. 90% of pros quotes of me were not even accurate.

Im not sure whether pro has dated or is even married. Me personally have done both. Pro assumes that the situation she describes about pre marital couples being only at their best only happens to them while dating, when the reality is this situation happens while you're dating and married. True colors emerge while dating and it will show you how you need to be a better man/woman for that person if it goes to marriage or to the one who best fits you.

Pro says if you know someone 40% just get married. In what real world situation do we do that? Do you just know 40% about a car, house, college or financial investment? No. So if marriage is arguably the most important discision two people can make why would you not want to know as much as you can about yourself and what you need in a partner.
Debate Round No. 3
4 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Posted by TheShadeM 2 years ago
Hi WCBC15, I will certainly consider it. Thank you for debating with me :)
Posted by WCBC15 2 years ago
Lets debate this topic again but add more characters and more rounds.
Posted by TheShadeM 2 years ago
As reply to NikolaGustav, not exactly dating. I guess its ok to meet someone for like a month to get to know each other. What I mean here is purposefully prolonging the period of having romantic and sexual activities without ever declaring each other as husband and wife maybe to avoid the responsibility of having a family.

Like window shopping and not buying anything.

Hope I'm making sense here
Posted by NikolaGustav 2 years ago
So you don't think you should date someone before you marry them?
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