Investing in gold is the answer to everything.

It's just true.

A few rules first.

1) This is a troll debate. This is not a serious debate. It is only a troll debate.
2) Please attempt to be entertaining.
3) The debate will end in a tie. Any attempt to net points to one side will result in being roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.

"But seriously, everything????"

Yes, everything. You just don't even know.
Heck, Gold is the answer to that question. Gold equals everything, eventually.
Ask a question, and I will explain how gold answers it.

"Since gold is all-powerful and encompasses everything known to us, Investing in Gold is not the answer to everything since gold is the answer to everything."

False. If we don't invest in gold, we don't have gold, thus we don't have the answer to everything. In order to get the answer to everything, we must invest in the answer to everything. Thus, investing in gold is the answer to get the answer to everything, and thus is the answer to everything.

He then cites widely renowned Urban Dictionary, but his information is false. If you click on the link, scroll down to the bottom, then hit ALT and F4 at the same time, it will send you to the page where it clearly illustrates why we should invest in gold. You have to time it just right, because if you don't press the two buttons at precisely the same time, it'll close the browser. But you can do it, and if you do it right, it will send you to the page.

"The film was a disaster and much too unpopular to even get a youtube reference. Thus, investing in it will only result in a lack of KFC and any self-realization."

False! If we invest in gold, then people will realize how sh*tty of a movie it is, then leave in the middle of it to go get some KFC, finally realizing that without gold, there would be no KFC.

Your move.

"Since gold is a film in 1923 that has already been made, we can assume that by investing in it, we are actually messing with the fabrics of time."

False. By investing in gold, we actually repair the damage to the space-time continuum caused by the creation of the RickRoll. Your endorsement of it only further damages it. Investing in Gold fixes this problem, as it leads to less people getting RickRoll'd (since you don't get RickRoll'd in the middle of Gold).

"we do not need to invest in it since logically, investing in the answer is something that no one should do."

This is also drastically false by the laws of logic. Let's presume for a moment that x is representative of Gold, and f(x) is representative of our investment in gold. Y would then be equal to the answers to everything, and z would then be equal to KFC. We can then conclude that if f(x) is equal to y and that x is equal to f(x) - y +2/3, then we would be able to logically see that without gold, we would no longer exist. Investing in gold solves this problem, as it provides us with more KFC (z).

"However, the source appears to be from Enclopedia Brittanica-"

It's apparent that my opponent failed to press Alt and F4 at the same exact time successfully. Everyone who did do it went to Wikileaks, which we all know is the most credible source in the history of Goldfish.

"KFC and investments directly contradict eachother."

False. Without investments, we cannot have KFC. They are mutually beneficial. Below are three imaginary sources that prove so.

"KFC implies Keep Federal Investments and non-Federal Investments on Crappy movies such as gold low."

My opponent apparently cannot spell KFC. Perhaps he needs to go back to night school.

KFC clearly stands for Keep those Freaks who try to rickroll everyone in a detention Camp.

So clearly, KFC and Gold are not conflicting. We can have both at the same time. And it will get you thrown in Gitmo, which is also a plus.