The Instigator
TruthGen
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
doomswatter
Con (against)
Winning
4 Points

Irrational debate of many layers (Experimental debate)

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
doomswatter
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/9/2014 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 821 times Debate No: 61457
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (5)
Votes (1)

 

TruthGen

Pro

Following my proposal in http://www.debate.org...

This debate is meant to push the boundaries of classical debating.

The fun of this debate is to give a totally unrelated source (one link per turn) to the opponent and make him use this information to use as convincing as possible.

I propose talking about "Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he Himself could not eat it?"

The opponent must use this link as the only source of justification:
http://youtu.be...

Con must defend his point and give another link.
doomswatter

Con

Thank you, Pro. As the Con in this debate, I will be arguing that Jesus could not microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it. As per the rules, my argument will be drawn from the source my opponent has provided.

Introduction

It is common knowledge that the microwave kitchen appliance did not exist in the days of Jesus. Microwaves had not yet been discovered, much less harnessed for food preparation. Therefore, in order for Jesus to have microwaved anything, he would have had to work a "miracle" and use "supernatural" powers. So, the question becomes, "Could Jesus have used supernatural powers to microwave a burrito until it was too hot for him to eat?"

Arguments


1. Gay and Fabulous

In the video for "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham!, George Michael is out in all his gay glory.[1] He is utterly fabulous. From the oversized, anti-suicide shirt, to the fluorescent lip and eyebrow paint, George is dripping in fabulosity.

As we all know, fabulosity is next to godliness. It is a divine state of being that radiates seductive beams of rainbow light into the hearts of the living, filling them with warm fuzzies.

We are all also aware that gays are an abomination to God. So, basically, God hates George Michael. Now, if God were real, how could George Michael be so fabulous? Wouldn't God know the seductive power of George's fabulousness, and use his god-power to defabulize him? Yet, this has not happened, leading us to the conclusion that God is not real. Now, in order for Jesus to have supernatural powers, he had to get them from somewhere. Jesus, of course, claimed to get everything he had from God. So, if God does not exist, then Jesus could not have gotten supernatural power from him. If Jesus could not get supernatural power, then he did not have supernatural power. If he did not have supernatural power, then he could not microwave anything.

Here is the above argument in a syllogism:

A1: God hates gays.
A2: George Michael is gay.
B1: God hates George Michael.

A3: Fabulousness is divine.
A4: God would not want things he hates to be divine.
B2: God would not want things he hates to be fabulous.

B1: God hates George Michael.
B2: God would not want things he hates to be fabulous.
C1: God would not want George Michael to be fabulous.

B3: An all-powerful god would get what it wants.
B4: If God exists, he is an all-powerful god.
C2: If God exists, he would get what he wants.

C1: God would not want George Michael to be fabulous.
C2: If God exists, he would get what he wants.
C3: George Michael is fabulous.
D1: God does not exist.

D1: God does not exist.
D2: Any super powers Jesus had would come from God.
E1: Jesus had no super powers.

E1: Jesus had no super powers.
E2: At the time of Jesus, microwaving would be a super power.
F1: Jesus could not microwave.


2. The True God

In the second verse of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", George Michael sings the words, "You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day."[1] Now, of course George Michael is just paying a romantic, exaggerated compliment to the subject of the song, but in doing so he reveals to us an important truth about the nature of the world: our sun, the life-giving king of our solar system, is made to shine by Doris Day.

It is commonly claimed by those who worship God that he is the one who created the sun and makes it to shine. However, we see in this fabulous song how wrong they are. Doris Day is the true creator.

C4: If God existed, he would make the sun shine.
C5: Doris Day makes the sun shine.
D1: God does not exist.

D1: God does not exist.
D2: Any super powers Jesus had would come from God.
E1: Jesus had no super powers.

E1: Jesus had no super powers.
E2: At the time of Jesus, microwaving would be a super power.
F1: Jesus could not microwave.


3. Super George

In the video for "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", we see, at approximately 1:07, that George Michael transmutes his clothing.[1] In mere moments, his clothing changes from a white shirt and white pants to a pink shirt and fabulous blue and white short-shorts. Not only does George miraculously transform his own clothing, but he effortlessly metamorphoses the duds of the entire ensemble.

Can you transmute yourself a pair of fabulous shorts? Neither can I, nor can the general population. That is because transmuting is a supernatural power. So, let me break down this argument:

G1: Transmuting clothing is a super power.
G2: George Michael can transmute clothing.
H1: George Michael has a super power.

H1: George Michael has a super power.
H2: If God existed, all super powers would come from him.
I1: If God existed, George Michael's power would come from him.

J1: God wouldn't give powers to things he hates.
B1: God hates George Michael.
K1: God wouldn't give powers to George Michael.

H1: George Michael has a super power.
I1: If God existed, George Michael's power would come from him.
K1: God wouldn't give powers to George Michael.
D1: God does not exist.

D1: God does not exist.
D2: Any super powers Jesus had would come from God.
E1: Jesus had no super powers.

E1: Jesus had no super powers.
E2: At the time of Jesus, microwaving would be a super power.
F1: Jesus could not microwave.


Thank you. Back to you, Pro. Here is your source: http://111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111.com...

[1](video on right)
Debate Round No. 1
TruthGen

Pro

Interesting argument, Con. Yet I feel like you missed an important part of the story.

http://111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111.com...

As we can see here, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sailor Moon are the same person.
Sailor Moon has travelled through time several times before (and that would also explain why you can see in this picture a total amount of 5 Arnold Sailormooneggers). They all look different in some sense because they are from different dimensions and travelled to the same point in space-time. This is a proof of the multiverse.
Now, how does this fit in my arguments?
It is commonly known that Jesus could do some amazing things, such as curing sick people.
Now, did they have the technology to cure people 2000 years ago? No. Just as you said before, Jesus has no superpowers because God does not exist. So where did this "power" come from? It must have come from somewhere. It came from another dimension

1.-
Now, considering that Arnold can travel through dimensions and time. We can assume that there are infinitely different dimensions.
In some of them we have a heterosexual George Michael. In others, Jesus has superpowers.
Con"s logic has proved that at least in our universe, God does not exist. But he didn"t disprove his existence in the rest of infinite universes, since in some of them George Michael is not gay, as you can deduce from pure logic.
But still the question remains unanswered: Could Jesus microwave the burrito that hot?
Now, in this picture we have proof that at least in 5 different dimensions we have 5 time-travellers that would come to our universe (All of them would be Arnold).
Arnold is catholic, and thus Christian.
In other dimensions, Jesus has superpowers and Christianity develops in a similar way to our Christianity. So at least one of these dimension-travellers must be Christian.
Now, if Jesus had no superpowers, then there would be no Christianity since he actually got followers because of his "superpowers".
Where did this "superpowers" come from? Not from our dimension, we know that. One of these Arnold"s travelled back to Jesus and gave him the technology to make these miracles thus making Christianity appear in our universe too.
Now Jesus didn"t get these superpowers from our god, but from Arnold Sailormoonegger, who probably got his dimension-travelling superpower from a God in another dimension.
But why would our dear Arnold do such a thing?
The reason has always been in front of our eyes:
"Because Washington is Hollywood for ugly people."

The logic we have developed in our universe has not yet found an explanation to this reason, but these words came from the very same document where you can see the 5 dimension-travellers.
Investigators suspect that the dimension traveller is Christian. But we have only theories so far.

I suggest looking at this link:
doomswatter

Con

Very impressive, multidimensional argument, Pro. But it is good that you have brought Dubstep Cat into the debate, for with her lie crucial elements that have thus far been overlooked.


Arguments


1. Dubstep Power

As can be witnessed in the linked video, Dubstep Cat has the godly power to create dubstep out of thin air.[1] With a mere swipe of her paws, sweet waves of electronic bliss reverberate through the cosmos. She weaves the bright synths and aural pads like string from a ball of yarn, and then drops the bass as easily as she drops a dead mau5.

The properties and potential of dubstep are still being researched, but a couple aspects have been obvious from the beginning. First, dubstep can sustain life indefinitely, possibly for eternity. Second, and more frightening, powerful dubstep can shatter dimensions. In the right (or wrong) hands (or paws), dubstep can be used to heal, or it can be used to disintegrate entire sections of the multiverse.


2. Cats are Ancient Enemies of the Jews

Since time immemorial, cats have been at war with the forces behind Jesus. The Egyptians were inspired by their cat gods to enslave Israel. Cat familiars protected and empowered witches. Nyan Cat created a viral, mesmerizing loop of subliminal anti-Semitic messages. These are just a few well-known examples of the ancient feline war on the Jews.

Knowing the power of dubstep, and knowing the hatred cats hold for Jesus, we realize that if an intruder from another dimension had attempted to aid Jesus in our own dimension by bringing him microwave technology, Dubstep Cat would have stopped that nonsense with a swipe of her paws. She has been around for quite a long time, not even needing to use more than one of her nine lives thanks to the sustaining powers of the dubstep she commands. She was most definitely alive in the time of Jesus, and you can bet the cat world was keeping a close eye on developments in the Middle East. Arnold Sailormoonegger would have never had a chance. Dubstep Cat would have dropped a mean bass on his dimension, fracturing it and unraveling Sailor Arnold's very existence.


3. The Puppet Master

The following revelation may be disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.

Watching Dubstep Cat work her magic is wonderful, terrible, and overwhelming to the senses. The power emanating from her paws is so enthralling, in fact, that most viewers probably do not notice a small, frightening detail. If you watch a high definition version of the linked video, and look very closely, at times you can see a mysterious, faceless figure manipulating Dubstep Cat's arms. I know to some this may seem like ridiculous conspiracy theory, and others may call it blasphemy, but it is true nonetheless. The implications are truly terrifying.

Are Dubstep Cat's actions alone being manipulated by the puppeteer, or is her power itself granted by him? Is she a willing vessel, a helpless prisoner, or an unwitting victim? We do not know. What we do know is that this puppet master is extremely powerful. Is he Jehovah God? Of course not. George Michael has already proven that Jehovah does not exist in this dimension. Therefore, it can be deduced that the puppet master is an unknown deity that is calling the shots and pulling the strings of our universe. He is using the cats to accomplish his goals, but is likely also the power behind other mysterious forces, such as the Illuminati, the Freemasons, and the female orgasm.

This deity presently allows Christianity to flourish because the Christianity we see in our world today is actually an amalgamation of the practices and traditions of myriad other religions. It is not the pure, Jewish Christianity that Arnold Sailormoonegger has attempted to proselytize across the multiverse, and which Jesus would have established had he been given the technology of the microwave. The puppeteer god used Dubstep Cat's power to keep meddling time travelers out of our universe, and to ensure that any real Christianity died along with Jesus.


Conclusion

In conclusion, we see that Jesus could not have microwaved anything because he did not have the power or technology. The puppet master god used the mighty power of Dubstep Cat's dubstep to keep Jesus isolated from crossdimensional allies.

If Pro is to stand any chance at winning this debate, he should carefully consult the following: http://www.lingscars.com...


---------------------
[1](Video on right)
Debate Round No. 2
TruthGen

Pro

TruthGen forfeited this round.
doomswatter

Con

Pass, as agreed in comments.
Debate Round No. 3
5 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Posted by TruthGen 2 years ago
TruthGen
Better skip last round, that'd be best. Thank you for taking it into consideration lol
Posted by doomswatter 2 years ago
doomswatter
TruthGen, should I pass my last round so we have an equal number or argument rounds? Or do you want me to continue in round 3?
Posted by doomswatter 2 years ago
doomswatter
This is fun. Challenging, but fun.
Posted by TruthGen 2 years ago
TruthGen
The question is, could he make a burrito so hot that not even he could eat it. And no, the topic is not religion, if you clicked the link, you'd know i'm asking people to justify that "he could not make such a burrito" through the song "Wake me up before you go-go".
Posted by cheyennebodie 2 years ago
cheyennebodie
First, I never do links. Never know what kind of mischief you are grabbing onto.And as far as Jesus eating something hot. He had a body like everyone else.It got dirty, he had to eat, he had to rest.But that did not stop him from doing all the things he did.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
TruthGendoomswatterTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: ff, and con had funnier, irrefuted, amazing troll arguments. Well done, Doomswatter